Dan Umbero
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Wow great story so far. Have sitting on the edge of the chair.
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Chapter 4 Journey into Psionics
Dan Umbero commented on Dan Umbero's story chapter in Chapter 4 Journey into Psionics
Thanks John for the review. Glad you're enjoying it. -
Thanks for taking time to write a review. The story is evolving I'm glad you're enjoying it
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Someone stop this merry-go-round and make the world stop spinning....ok the witch needs a bon fire....I'll strike the match. Bill...what a waste of a uniform...yeah I call it a weakness..... Jed....the dungeon master has a new toy..... David....and a baby....TAR's gonna be a daddy and he only just got kissed....wow. I thought I had all the angles figured....guess not....think Mizzz Julie could conjure a guy up for me?......I'd like a blonde with a side of hairy?....and for desert a uniform... Ok that's my review...if I sound confused its only because my head's still spinnin....you should get a prize and start writing mysteries....lol
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Ok so I was wrong...I've been before...I like Bill so I'm not complaining...I think Mz Julie is creepie....like why the hell aren't those rednecks burning her at the stake as a witch?...just asking..... Keep up the story its great.
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Garin awoke in the middle of the night the glow panels were very dim. The first thing he noticed was that a soft blanket covered him, reminding him oddly of the soft zaphir fur blanket of his childhood. He also saw a dark shape sitting beside him. He jerked and was greeted with searing pain in his left shoulder. He groaned and the dark shape beside him laid a gentle hand on his painful shoulder. “It’s alright Garin, I’ll get you something for the pain.” Mallory said. Garin looked arou
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Thanks for the review and feed back. Glad you enjoyed it.
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Hmmm knowing you as I do...I'm not surprised......but I'm not sure how I feel about it all. I liked the scene with Jed....I'm glad TAR put him in his place...uhhumm...pardon the double entendree. I like Bill but I'm afraid it isn't gonna work out...I see the writing on the wall....shame...he seemed like such a nice puppy dog kinda guy...sure he has a few kinks and issues...but who doesnt'. Now who do I root for....maybe David....maybe Doc...maybe the horse?....oh sorry.... I really am enjoying the story....
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Great story...nicely convoluted...I'm anxious to see who wins who....
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I like this chapter in that we get to see a little more of Bill and him and TR finally did the nasty.. Good job.
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Chapter 3 What Lies Within Us
Dan Umbero commented on Dan Umbero's story chapter in Chapter 3 What Lies Within Us
maybe.. any parallels to current time is intentional. -
Chapter 3 What Lies Within Us Garin watched Mallory watching him. The hair prickled on the back of his neck. He figured Mallory was probing. “Don’t’ you want to understand your ability?” Mallory asked. “It’s not really high on the mission objectives at the moment.” Garin said and smirked. “Psionics is a valuable trait to have. I’m surprised your Alliance hasn’t recruited you, then again you’re so rare they probably have no one to sense your ability” Mallory said. “Why don’t’ yo
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Hmmmm I think I like this. I want to like it. Guess you'll need to write a few more chapters so I can tell
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Interesting quandary. If we were allowed to marry should we not learn from straight society and try for something better? Arranged marriage, polygamy, polyandry All of these work or have worked down the ages. I kinda like the idea bounced around awhile back during the German elections that perhaps marriages should have expiration dates like 15 years at the end the partners can renegotiate or go their separate ways.
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Ok this story is coming on well...I like it. More please
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Chapter 1 Halon and Dirt Balls
Dan Umbero commented on Dan Umbero's story chapter in Chapter 1 Halon and Dirt Balls
Thanks Andy, this is my first "Chaptered" effort I've mostly stuck to short stories. I'm to decide before I write a chapter what will be its "point" I think each one should be logical and have a mini climax etc. but I'm not an expert any advice would be helpful. THANKS to the review -
Chapter 2 High Priestess of Psi
Dan Umbero commented on Dan Umbero's story chapter in Chapter 2 High Priestess of Psi
I think Mallory will already be homosexual but lives in a society where it carries the ultimate punishment. -
Chapter 2 High Priestess of Psi In the Waldian home system there’s a small class III planet that is 99% water. There’s a single small continent and located in the opposite hemisphere from it are a small cluster of islands. The islands, part of the Imperial holdings, have one large palace taking all the real estate of the largest island in the archipelago. The 30 story tower had many balconies overlooking the vast ocean, on one of the topmost stood a tall thin figure. The stiff brocaded rob
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Thanks! I agree about the switches I should've found an editor to help with them.
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Thanks for the review and kind words. The story is based on my own past.
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Ok now I"m hooked...more please
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Where can I find this clinic and do they need a handy man? Damn I'm in love with all three of them.
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Chapter 1 Halon and Dirt Balls
Dan Umbero commented on Dan Umbero's story chapter in Chapter 1 Halon and Dirt Balls
Thanks for the review. I'm new to this site so missed the complete piece. As this is only the first chapter. I should post the next one in a few days -
Chapter 1 Halon and Dirtballs Garin stood in the edge of the brush land looking down into the arid valley below. "Why would the Waldies want this dirt ball anyway…" he mumbled under his breath. "Its none of our concern why, you wanker; and keep your voice down I'm picking up a power source. It could be sentinels." The gruff voice of Marlow, the unit commander answered him. Garin had served in this unit now for a couple of standard years. He'd been recruited during his mandatory
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Adventure and love are the spoils of war in this Sci Fi thriller
