Zombie

Err, Dickens' tome in fact has only 319,307 words whereas, so far, Circumnavigation has 591,000 words (http://www.gayauthor...cumnavigationCJ). Maybe you'd have enjoyed watching your nails grow more than you did reading NN, but evidently you're getting more pleasure reading about Trev's adventures

"Je n'ai fait celle-ci plus longue que parceque je n'ai pas eu le loisir de la faire plus courte." (I would have written a shorter letter, but I didn't have the time) - Blaise Pascal WARNING! WARNING!! CLIFFHANGER ALERT!

CJ's not stupid. I suspect he values life and the absence of crushed body parts. He knows that if he kills or maims one of the two lovebirds then reader retribution will strike with such savage ferocity as to make Hurricane Irene look like a damp squib

According to Wiki, individual salties can roam "thousands of miles from their native territory": http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saltwater_crocodile#Distribution Yikes, according to this site salties have been seen as far south as Carnarvon: http://www.environment.gov.au/cgi-bin/sprat/public/publicspecies.pl?taxon_id=1774#australian_distribution So, yeah, it's a definite possibility that Basingstoke, at the very moment of triumph over Trevor, will be snatched into a salty's jaws of death, shrieking in blood-curdling terror at the sudden realisation he has utterly failed, and that his miserable life is about to be crushed and ripped from his broken body with more brutal violence and agony than the collective suffering inflicted on every one of his and Sanchez's previous victims. And all lovingly described in glorious CJ HorrorVision ©

It's the name of a moderately grim town in UK. According to this Google hit it sounds like a perfect place for our friendly assassin to spend a few days relaxing after he's despatched Trevor "Basingstoke, Hampshire. A squalid, ugly, uncomfortable place, an intolerant, racist, homophobic, narrow-minded, authoritarian rat-hole, run by vicious, suburban-minded materialistic philistines. A spiritual and moral emptiness of a way of life based on greed and rampant egomania. Care has no place and tolerance is regarded as a dangerous weakness." What, even darker than Sanchez's entertaining little party in ch84? ("Sanchez’s gun spoke twice, the rounds slamming into Alvarez’s stomach ... Taking careful aim, Sanchez put a bullet in each of Alvarez’s knees, shattering his kneecaps, evoking screams of agony from Alvarez ... Smiling with satisfaction and feeling the warm sensation in his stomach, he rejoined his party, where he would sit and relax, chatting amiably with his people, as Alvarez took an agonizing hour to die.") Gulp So you won't be reading weekly cliffhanging instalments as a serial from now on then

... and will the garlic crusher be reunited with Trevor?

Aaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!! Quote: "I'm absolutely innocent" - The Goat, 22 August 2011 "I'm absolutely innocent" - Jeffrey Skilling, former Enron Chief, to the Federal Court in Houston 10 April 2006 (http://www.corp-ethi...nron-chief.html)

Enough of this nonsense. CJ attempts to wriggle out of his responsibility for the countless and monstrous atrocities that occur in his stories, such as cliffhangers and torture, by latching onto this clever conceit that the characters write their own story lines, therefore it's "not my fault" when bad things happen to his characters. Some examples of his pitiful excuses: Now, this may be an ingenious avoidance tactic on the part of CJ but it deflects none of the blame for these atrocities from where it clearly lies - at the cloven feet of The Goat as he happily taps his evil and cruel ideas into his keyboard (presumably specially adapted). Furthermore, ingenuity is no defence for criminal wrongdoing - as previously stated (and which was not denied by The Goat) there is no court that would not convict The Goat of his serial wrongdoings on this website. He may deny, prevaricate and bleat his innocence but forum readers know better - we see his guilt for what it is: devious, calculated and without remorse

Aaahhhh, sweeeet!!! Everyone's being so kind 'n' helpful to Trev. No stress, no worries Thanks CJ. But wait, we know the lovebirds will soon be assaulted by a maelstrom of horrors so this should really have been called The Calm Before the Storm

Lies! Lies! Lies! Here's just one single example that proves The Goat is telling evil porkies: LTMP c45 "Kneeling by Chase’s side, Dimitri unsheathed his bloodstained knife, placing it against the skin of Chase’s arm as a smile of anticipation began to light his face and he added, “I’m going to skin you, inch by inch. Tell me the truth and I’ll kill you quickly. Now, let’s get started.” As the knife drew blood, Chase’s anguished yell echoed against the cold, unfeeling rock of the old mine shaft. Dimitri had some concern about the noise, but assumed that the screams would not carry far. Angling for a better position, and having no intention of stopping no matter what the young drummer said, Dimitri used his legs to pin Chase in place and resumed his knife’s agonizing work, a task he was very much enjoying." "In agony from the small strip of skin Dimitri was pulling from the back of his upper arm, feeling every nerve ending howl, Chase glanced up and saw movement silhouetted against the tunnel entrance. Knowing that he had to distract Dimitri, Chase yelled, “I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you, just stop, please stop!” "Chase cried out again, even louder, as Dimitri worked the knife some more" This is bestial. It's inhuman. It's evil. There is no court that would not convict CJ of inhuman cruelty, torture and general beastliness to his characters - the more pain and suffering they endure the happier he is

Love it, yeah, cheap after-shave. Heheheh, says it all as if we didn't know already - Kline's a scummy little two-bit sleazebag. Btw "Lunchtime Special" at my local pub yesterday - Curried Goat. Yum yum, deelicious. Just thought you'd like to know

Heheheh, reckon the wily old goat's giving us some teasing clues here. I can see it now - T+S being chased through the Outback and finally cornered with no hope of escape from their rapidly approaching doom only for their assailant to be thwarted at the last second by a toxic love-bite from some Aussie critter. It's gonna have to be something that can deliver a horrible, agonising and violent death with the assailant screaming in prolonged agony so's CJ can describe their adversary's final, twitching death-throes in minute and loving detail Hmmmmm, so which critters are in the frame?

Not saying it's a good thing, but modern sensibilities seem largely inured to graphic violence, from years of unremitting exposure to pretty much uncensored "action" TV, cinema and computer games. You must bear in mind two things. First, Sanchez is just another in a long line of evil characters that feature in CJ's action/adventure stories and whose evil is always depicted in lurid 3D HorrorVision. Second, CJ truly is the embodiment of evil and such graphic writing therefore comes easily to him and must give him great pleasure and enjoyment.

Extract from "this article" link: "Australia is a dangerous place. I have to go there this November. I am afraid." No worries for Trev 'n' Shane's safety then Hang on a minute ..... Not content with your own continual and continuous and downright wicked cliffhangers you're now ramping up readers' anxieties that if Basingstoke doesn't get them (Trevor and / or Shane) then Oz's cute but deadly critters will And now, for your delectation, here are some delicious Ozzy gourmet goat recipes http://www.outbackja...goatrecipe.html

Now that's one badass bird Which gets me thinkin'. Those specs you're a-wearin' CJ. Just when did goats start wearin' specs? It just ain't natural. Reckon you got yourself a pair of them new-fangled prism specs so's you can keep your eyes to the skies when you're a-cliffhangin' so's you can watch out for them big bad birdys. Which kinda proves what all these nice folks have bin sayin' all along - YOU'RE A CLIFFHANGER!!

Sanchez sounds like a real fun kind of guy. Does he do party planning as a sideline?

But this thread is a rational exchange of pertinent points relevant to the geographic setting of the story whereas the video clip is of a scurrilous jokester who has clearly been planted to unsettle the witness at a congressional hearing. Nope, not the same thing at all

But the maps prove that the world's the right way up and Australia's upside down CJ is absolutely correct. And it's not just the maths that's upside-down but its writing too. Which means Australia is a great place for dyslexic goats to live according to this thread: http://www.dyscalcul...=2804&pid=22340 And it doesn't stop there. The following blog points out some of the many ways in which Aussie life is upside down or back to front or just plain different: http://williamappleb...lecheeze/?p=226 It all makes sense really because, after all, Australians are living their whole lives upside down - walking, sleeping, surfing and talking (typical examples: "G'day Sheila", "Mine's a Castlemain XXXX", "It's as dry as a dead dingo's donga")

Never mind the looming US debt crisis, the Eurozone disaster or the X-Factor auditions, something much much worse is heading your way So what are you gonna do about it? Shove your head in the sand? Flee to the hills? (the mountain men will get you) Scream for mercy? (CJ will cackle evilly "you knew it was coming" ) This is something you cannot hide from. Whether or not CJ does a sequel it's .... the end of Circumnavigation Eeeeeek! It can't be! Make it go away please! But but but - if CJ is to be believed it's only a few weeks away now. Will the Goat be putting immediate arrangements in place to help his distraught readers deal with the cloud of gloom, depression and hopelessness that will descend once the final full stop of the final episode has been read? Or will he selfishly claim he needs a well-earned rest and heartlessly skip off for some frolicksome pleasures with no thought for the plight of his abandoned and devastated readers? Any ideas or suggestions for coping with the empty post-Circumnavigation world? As a stop gap I can recommend some mystery stories I've just stumbled on which may help: http://www.nifty.org...tinct-divisions

Awwww. The love story we've all been patiently waiting for is now most definitely on! The title could have been "Circumnavigation - or How Trevor Snags His Man" (but then it would be a spoiler heheheh!) But we were too traumatised to enjoy this having just read: Now that is one evil piece of writing. Just evil. And gratuitous too (no plot relevance). I can see the goat licking his leathery lips with sadistic pleasure as the malignant idea popped into his bovid brain and he happily tapped away with his cloven hooves (how does he do that?) knowing he was scoring a double whammy - sending shockwaves of horror through readers' minds AND getting in a wicked cliff joke. Cruel. So cruel and so wicked.

How can you frame the guilty? Well now, here's another mystery. How can CJ type such lies in the forum - surely his nose must grow so long as to push the keyboard well beyond reach of his fabricating fingers??

We've all been tricked! Have a look at these definitions of "committee": "One or more persons elected or appointed, to whom any matter or business is referred, either by a legislative body, or by a court, or by any collective body of men acting together. " (http://www.brainyquote.com/words/co/committee146028.html) "Individual or a group, appointed by an agency, authority, or larger assembly, " (http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/committee.html) "A person to whom a trust or charge is committed" (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/committee) "a person or group of persons elected or appointed to perform some service or function, as to investigate, report on, or act upon a particular matter." (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/committee) "An individual or group of people to whom authority has been delegated by a larger group to perform a particular function or duty." (http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/committee) This is monstrous! There is clear evidence of deliberate dissembling and wrongdoing by the Goat which makes Rupert Murdoch (and his satanic spawn) look like Mother Theresa. Since "Evil" seems to be a standard epithet when referring to the Goat and his activities shouldn't this, together with "slippery", be forcibly added to his Sig? I don't know how to do it but perhaps there could be a vote on this?

So, that would be "they" as used, for example, in company Human Resources Department Procedures to be non-gender specific when referring to the singular "he / she or it"

Errrr, I'm kinda new round here, but .... just exactly who sat on this "select and impartial anonymous GA committee"??

"Unfortunately, the dog wasn’t as easily foxed and came after me. I wasn’t carrying a gun – I didn’t want to make it a major felony if I got caught ..." Hmmmmm. Why wouldn't Henry have a concealed firearms licence? The Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services website advises "A private investigator or private investigator intern, age 21 years or older, who possesses a Class "G" Statewide Firearm License, may carry a concealed firearm when it is required by his or her duties and approved by the licensed agency ..." ( http://licgweb.doacs.state.fl.us/investigations/firearms.html ) Whilst rummaging through their helpful website I noticed the APPLICATION FOR CONCEALED WEAPON/FIREARM LICENSE form includes some rigorous questions e.g. "Are you a fugitive from justice? Yes / No". Gotta give the Florida authorities bonus points here - the bad guys always make sure they've got their firearms paperwork in place before they go and hold up the drug store and they always come clean if they're on the run :wacko: A bit like the question (before 9/11!) on the US Immigration Form handed out to air passengers on approach to the US: "Is it your intention to overthrow the Government of the United States by Force?" Obviously passengers with evil plans would immediately 'fess up. One British cove (Brits just can't resist poking fun at stoney-faced authority, especially those funny foreigner types) was unable to prevent himself writing "Sole purpose of visit". I understand that US Immigration is not especially famous for its well-honed sense of humour and his visit was likely shorter than he'd originally planned