Pete Bruno

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Crap, I forgot the best of all, Auntie Mame..."Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death."

That is part of my point. Being MUCH older than most of you guys, I had the advantage of living the care-free life before AID's, I also spent time working in a big city night club and I saw a lot of self-destruction. Tim is correct about turning 30, although I found that turning 50 was much more liberating. Yeah, maybe a little less hair and you may have to work out a bit more to fend off the spread. So don't trap yourself, go out and live your life. Remember what Auntie Mame said, "Yes! Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

What everyone says: "Be honest with me. What do you think?" What everyone means: "Don't be honest, just agree with me." What should be understood: "Nobody really wants to hear the truth or what you think." "And I am unanimous in that." Mrs. Slocombe

Actually from my father, who always said it in Italian. un giorno mio figlio, vi chiederete come ho avuto modo intelligente, e hai ottenuto così stupido In English...someday my son, you'll wonder how I got so smart, and you got so dumb

This may not be hip, however, if a cautionary tale for Gay men has ever been written and sung, this is it. Now my life hasn't been quite as tragic as this song, but I will offer this warning to all of you young people; it was just yesterday that I was 22 and graduating from college, and now in two days I will wake up and be 55. The good news is, life gets really good after 50! Tempus fugit......

Maybe so, but those big butch straight daddies are fun to look at!

I agree, and don't forget Home Depot and Lowes or your local hardware store!

You make some very good points, and I like the lesbian take; one explanation for it I think is that lesbians are not threatening to male sexuality in fact most of my 'straight' buddies love lesbian porn. A strong male character as you suggest would freak them out, and I think your point is an excellent. As to the reasons why there hasn't been one yet I'm not sure, there must be plenty of writers out there who can develop the character, but my money is on the executives not buying it, thinking it wouldn't sell to middle America. The only character I can think of that comes close is from "Tourchwood" named Captain Jack Harkness from the BBC.

I think that you meant to type "could pass as straight were too busy hiding." If that is the case you really don't know what you are talking about. It says that you are a 21 year old gay man from the UK, if that is correct you really do not have enough information to make such a comment; but fortunately I do. Being a gay 13 year old boy in 1969 or a 21 year old man for that matter was not easy, let alone safe, you forced to "butch it up" as much as possible or risk getting your ass beat on a daily basis. There was also little help available for gay men in small town America, almost everyone was homophobic from your teachers (priests and nuns included) to the police and even parents. Myself, I was lucky, my size and build along with the fact that I played sports deflected unwanted attention, but when I was a young and skinny 10 year old with a lisp I got plenty of unwanted attention in the form of bullying, so I did what I had to do. It wasn't hiding as you put, it was survival. Remember that the men who fought at the Stonewall in '69 had the protection of living in a huge city, or that scene would have ended much differently in small town America; and remember they were the ones "who actually fought" for gay rights, they were the brave men who risked everything so there could be gay pride parades. Finally, I envy your youth, and the fact that you are lucky enough to live in a time that gives you much more freedom and safety to be yourself than was ever afforded men my age and older, but please try and remember the next time you feel the need to accuse anyone of "hiding" you must remember the times and circumstances we lived in.

"it fits the stereotype that a still basically homophobic society wants perpetuated" This is from my original post, I really don't know how much clearer I can state may point; and I also think that it also supports my discussion.

Then I would suggest that you do; or at least go to the link I provided in my original post to support the quote I used to support my argument.

Thank God, I hope you're not kidding me, because I though I was the only one who had this experience. And it has been my experience that those who claim to be the most tolerant and open minded are usually the opposite.

I try to watch it here in the US along with Rugby whenever I can. My opinion, these guys are the true manly studs of sport. Not to mention fucking hot!

Just for the sake of this discussion I would like to clear up one point. When I (and the author of Celluloid Closet) use the term "sissy" it was not ever meant to illustrate the degree of effeminacy of a character. In the context that it was used all gay men were sissies, they happened to feature the most flamboyant men they could find. Since I don't watch D Housewives I wasn't aware of the characters mentioned, but glad to hear about them. My family and friends all know I'm gay, but they also know I don't like to make a big deal about it, and given my size and build many times I'm in social situations were people who don't know me assume that I am straight; and gives me the opportunity to hear the unvarnished true feelings about gay men and women. It's like being a spy and undercover; believe me, there is much less tolerance out there than you could believe.

The choice of this topic is the result of a discussion about the hit show 'Modern Family', I personally dislike the show for many reasons, especially what I consider low and gratuitous humor; but what I find most offensive is the portrayal of the gay characters. Yes, there are many gay men who are effeminate in the world, but is it necessary to make them the face of all homosexual men? In my opinion no, I find it much like the treatment of blacks in the old movies, shuffling and bugged eyed; it fits the stereotype that a still basically homophobic society wants perpetuated. Then I remembered the documentary 'The Celluloid Closet' and it's discussion of the use of the stock "sissy" character in movies. From the review of the book: "The screen version of THE CELLULOID CLOSET ironically points out another shortcoming of the book. The film showcases interviews with gay actors Harvey Fierstein and Quentin Crisp, and the discussion of the “sissies” is particularly illuminating. In the book, Russo trashes the Hollywood sissies, pointing out all of their negative and stereotypical implications. In the film, Fierstein readily admits that he loves the sissies, in all their stereotyped glory. Is Fierstein not toeing the politically correct line? Didn't he read Russo's dissection of the sissy? Doesn't he know the sissies are part of his oppression as a gay man?" As previously stated I disagree, especially with Mr. Fierstein in one sense, if the sissy was part of a larger gay cast it would be fine, and even funny, in that it would be showing the diversity of the homosexual community. But when the only representation is the sissy, it feeds into the common misconception that all gay men are sissies and all lesbians are lumberjacks. Okay, that's my take. What say you? This is the link to the review quoted above. http://gaybookreview...review/2543/543

Honestly, I have no clue and would never ask them. But I think deep down the problem is that these guys secretly have always wanted to try gay sex, but are afraid, mostly because one, they may like it and two, they can't get past the societies/religion attitude towards homosexual sex.

Then you're very lucky my friend. My experience has been quite different; it seems that my father was either gay or bisexual (I'm going with gay since it was gay porn I found in his closet) and I'm sure he got married in 1946 because he had to hide who he was. It did not result in a good marriage; I think they both were miserable, and I think he resented me because I was able to explore my sexuality while he felt trapped in a unwanted marriage. Then I met a man, in a gay bay no less, we went back to my place and well you know the rest. We began to see each other regularly, and imagine my surprise when I found out he was married and had four young children. By this time I was well on my way to being in love and was devastated; if he had told me from the beginning I would have never seen again. What made it worse was he continued to call me for two months, begging for me to see him. The answer was no, when your single give me a call; the sad part was not only was he very handsome (and porn star hung) but we had quite a bit in common, we both like sports, both playing and watching and he loved to get fucked; a marriage made in heaven, except that I was being used. One of the biggest lessons as a gay man I have ever learned is that no matter you’re your straight buddies say; they are never really totally okay with you being gay. I’ve been lucky in some way’s, I’m six one, 220lbs, and look like your typical linebacker, and have spent a lot of time in the gym. When people find out I’m gay they always say, “But you don’t look/act gay.” To which I reply, “It’s funny, you don’t look/act straight.” It either gets a big laugh or they get pissed off, but I don’t care. So yes, they are still your friends; they still play ball with you or shoot a round of golf, and watch football and drink beer, their wives invite for dinner and the kid's call you uncle. But I guarantee that when you are showering together at the gym, many of them still feel a bit uncomfortable, I know this because there have been times when I’ve called a few of them out on it. It’s because, I think, they can never see you as just their buddy, they only picture the sex acts you perform; and I do believe they try not to, but it’s just how they are wired. In the same way I could never, ever, ever lick a women’s vagina, they could never, ever think of sucking cock. So I guess what I’m trying to say, for me anyway, I’d be happy to play with a bi-sexual man as long as he tells me straight up that’s what he is, if after that he wishes to stay in the closet, fine. Also, I must admit that I may have a small problem with bi-sexual men because I am 100% gay, have always been and can’t change that reality; and while I live a very happy and productive life, it has not always been easy living with the prejudice, the slurs and condemnation that follows gay men and women around their entire life. Finally, I guess that I am just a tiny bit jealous, that a bi man can just ‘drop in for the weekend’ so to speak and have his fill of hot man to man sex and then go back and live his life in straight society and not be looked at like a freak. That said, I will admit that is the main reason for my skepticism of bi-sexual men is unfounded, even maybe unfair; but at least I’m honest, and most of all very human.

Well I think you're entire post is absurd. Firstly, all I did was quote a very famous GAY actor, writer,and director from a equally famous GAY movie, I never once questioned anyone's sexuality. Secondly, I spoke of my experience as a gay man. If I'm not mistaken I'm clicked on the forum tab and entered the lounge section of this website. Silly me, I thought it was a place were one could speak freely about themselves, their lives and their opinions.

Anyone who mentions the Cardinals, except to curse them and their furry little friend should be banned from this forum. Signed Brokenhearted Phillies Fan

I'm very sorry, but I was typing fast and failed to proof read. I t should have read "Show me". They were talking about a guy that Arnold was having an affair with who claimed to be bi. It was his way of saying that a lot of men who claim to be bi are really gay. Now I do now a few men who are truly bi-sexual, but it has been my experience (espec. between the ages of 18 and 30) that more often than not it was a cover when someone was afraid of coming out.

This is my first post here, so please don't anyone be offended, I am old (55 on 11/11) and opinionated. The comments I find most interesting are about 'evolving sexuality', this is something that never happened to me, and it's just hard for me to get my head around the concept. It could be because the only thing that has evolved in me was my acceptance of my own homosexuality. I've often joked that I knew I was gay in the womb, since I had to cut out rather than passing through a vagina. Bad joke I know. I have slept with (oh God!) many, many "straight" and "bi-sexual guys in my time; especially guys I played baseball and football with in high school and college; and while during that time (in fact until I was in my late twenties) I wasn't officially 'out', I had no doubt in my mind that I was 100% gay. Call me skeptical, but I'm with Arnold Becker (Torch Song Trilogy) when he says "So me a man who leaves his boyfriends bed to sleep with a women, and I'll show you a true bi-sexual."