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Andy78

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Blog Entries posted by Andy78

  1. Andy78
    OK, I might not be in the best frame of mind as I type this, but I seriously need to vent - you may want to brace yourselves for some choice language. It's either rant here, or tell a few people exactly what I think of them.
     
    Been a nice quiet morning on my ward.
     
    Sure some of the kidides are suffering side effects from the chemo, but they were all in good spirits and at least they all managed to keep breakfast down.
     
    For a change, we have full nursing support on the ward - first time in weeks where we have had the nine nurses we are supposed to have, and not the seven we have been struggling along with.
     
    No emergency admissions overnight for me to worry about.
     
    Yeah, it was all too fucking quiet wasn't it. I should have known my nice quiet morning wouldn't last.
     
    The older sister of one of our long timers (who I'll call Clare for the sake of this blog) has recently had a baby. Clare has been really happy about becoming an auntie, even the nurses have started calling her Auntie Clare. When her sister comes up with the baby, it seems to lift the spirits of most of the kids on the ward.
     
    Well, what do women do when they have a baby? They breastfeed of course.
     
    Now what the fuck do you all think happened when Clare's sister started breastfeeding her baby on the ward an hour ago? Oh yeah, we had comments and complaints from some of the other kids' families. It's like they've never seen a woman breastfeed!
     
    It's one of the most natural things in the world, and half the fucking parents were acting as though we were exposing their kids to the worst kind of pornography.
     
    Long story short, we ended up having to call security to calm the situation down. After a whole load of shouting and use of language by some of the parents in front of the kids that was far worse than them seeing a woman breastfeed inthe first place, things have kind of calmed down.
     
    The situation now is:

    five of the parents have been barred from the ward and three had to be physically ejected by security
    because of certain things that were said by a few fucking arseholes the matter had to be reported to the police
    we've got several younger kids who are distressed, confused, and upset over the whole thing and they have no fucking idea why
    Clare's sister is blaming herself for the whole fucking mess
    Clare is in tears
    not to mention I'm fucking pissed off

    On top of all that, I now have to type out a report of what happened and there is talk about restricting weekend visiting to one person per patient with a maximum visit of 30 mins at a time.
     
    I've only been in work for 3 hours, I've still got another 6 hours to go!
     
    Well, rant over. Hope everyone's day is going better than mine.
  2. Andy78

    A challenge and a half

    By Andy78,

    As many know I love to cook, and I love watching Masterchef.
     
    I enjoy Masterchef Australia, and am looking forward to Masterchef South Africa starting next week.
     
    One thing I've always wanted to do is create one of the amazing desserts seen on Masterchef Australia. So God help me, I'm going to be attempting one of the most intricate desserts I've ever seen - Peter Gilmore's Snow Egg (see pic below).
     
    I’ve eaten the Snow Egg at Peter Gilmore’s Quay restaurant in Sydney before, so at least I have an idea what it should taste like.
     
    If any of you feel brave enough (or stupid enough ) to join me in this challenge, here is the recipe. You should probably allow four to five hours to make your dessert.
     
     

     
    The Making of the Snow Egg
     
    For the Guava snow egg
     
    Poached Meringue
    • 300 g egg white
    • 300 g sugar
     
    Firstly you will need a 6cm diameter half hemisphere silicon mould sheet. Whisk the egg whites in a machine until they form soft peaks and slowly add in the sugar. Once the sugar has dissolved and the meringue forms firm peaks spoon the meringue into the half hemisphere moulds. Cook the meringue in a water bath large enough to hold the silicon mat in a pre-heated 120 degree oven for approximately 15 minutes. Allow the meringues to cool down. Then unmold the half hemispheres onto a tray lined with silicon paper and store in the fridge until needed.
     
    Maltose tuilles
    • 200g liquid maltose
    • 100g sugar
    • 20g flaked almonds
     
    In a pan heat the sugar and maltose together until it caramelizes. Add in the flaked almonds to this mixture and immediately pour the mixture onto a silicon mat and allow to cool down completely. In a food processor, process the hard caramel to form a fine powder. Sieve the praline mixture using a course sieve onto a silicon mat in a fine layer. Melt this mixture in a moderate oven until it forms a clear liquid paste. Remove from the oven and allow to cool but before the praline becomes too hard cut into a 15cm diameter circle using a metal circle cutter. When each circle is hard store between silicon papers in an air tight container. This is to prevent them from breaking easily.
     
    Guava puree
    • 175g sugar
    • 250ml water
    • ½ vanilla bean
    • 375g of strawberry guava flesh
     
    In a pot combine the sugar and the water, add in the scraped vanilla bean and bring it to boil. Lower the heat and add the guava flesh. Cook on simmer for 10 minutes. After that take the pot off the heat and remove the vanilla pods. Drain out the liquid from the flesh and place the it in a blender to process. Add just enough of the cooking liquid to process into a thick guava puree. Use a fine sieve to pass the puree and set aside in the fridge until needed.
     
    For the Guava granita
    • 500ml water
    • 100g sugar
    • 400g of peeled guavas
    • 100g fresh strawberries
     
    Roughly dice the guavas and strawberries. In a large saucepan, combine the water and the sugar, bring to the boil then lower the heat to a slow simmer. Add in the fruits and simmer for 10 minutes. Take the pan off the heat and bring down to room temperature for about 2 hours. Pass the liquid through a muslin cloth and discard the solids. Pour out the guava syrup into a ceramic or stainless steel container to a depth of 5cm. Place it in the freezer for about 12 hours. Every 2 to 3 hours remove from the freezer and scrape with a fork to form the granita crystals.
     
    Custard apple ice-cream
    • 6 egg yolks
    • 200g sugar
    • 200ml milk
    • 300ml clear custard apple juice
    • 100ml single cream
     
    First whisk the egg yolks and sugar together. Boil the milk and pour on to the mixture while whisking.
    Pour this mixture into a stainless steel bowl and cook over a pot of simmering water while whisking for about 10 minutes. Cool the sabayon over ice. Meanwhile using extremely ripe custard apples scoop the flesh of approximately 1 large custard apple into a double muslin lined chinoix. Gather the muslin cloth at the top and squeeze the ripe custard apple flesh tightly to obtain a clear juice. When you have 300ml of clear juice whisk it into the sabayon with the 100ml of single cream. Place the mixture into an icecream machine and churn until ready. Place the ice-cream in a container in the freezer until needed.
     
    Vanilla Custard base
    • 400ml single cream
    • 3 egg yolks
    • 1 whole egg
    • 80gm sugar
    • 2 vanilla beans
     
    Split and scrape the vanilla beans, add it into the cream and heat. Bring to boil and remove from the heat. Whisk the eggs, egg yolks and sugar together in a stainless steel bowl. While whisking the eggs slowly add the hot vanilla cream. Mix well and remove the vanilla pods. Pour this mixture into 4 large dariole moulds to a depth of 5 cm, place the dariole moulds into a tray of water bath. In a pre-heated 150 degree oven place the tray and cook the custard as you would a crème brulee for approximately 25 minutes until the custard is just set. Remove the custards from the water bath and refrigerate for approximately 5 to 6 hours until fully chilled and set.
     
    Vanilla cream
    • 100 gms vanilla custard base
    • 100 gms double cream
    • Whisk the cream and custard together to form soft peaks.
    • Guava fool
    • 400g of guava puree
    • 200g vanilla cream
     
    Place the guava puree in a small bowl and fold in the vanilla cream gently to form a rippled effect. This is to be done just before you are ready to assemble the dessert.
     
    To Assemble
    Take a half hemisphere poached meringues and remove a small scoop from the centre with a teaspoon being careful not to break through the outer edge. In the hole you have created place a small scoop of custard apple ice-cream. Scoop a small hole in another half hemispheres and invert over the ice-cream filled meringues to form a complete sphere. Place a maltose biscuit on top of the sphere and using a blow torch gently melt the biscuit over the sphere. Dust the sphere with icing sugar. In a serving glass, add a generous spoonful of the guava fool at the bottom. Top the fool with the guava granite, and then place the custard apple ice-cream poached meringue sphere on top of the granite.
    And voila your snow egg is ready! (sounds so bloody easy doesn't it )
  3. Andy78

    Lost for words

    By Andy78,

    Finished ward round this morning with the on call registrar, about ten o'clock.
     
    Acute oncology ward, 18 kids in total, with 7 of those being new admissions this morning. I had lots of scans and blood tests to request, a few referrals to be made, and my own notes to update.
     
    I finally finished just before noon, when the duty nurse informed me that one of the kids (a 13 year old boy called Jason, who has late stage cancer) had gone to the toilet about half an hour prior and hadn't come back yet.
     
    She had already checked the bathrooms on the ward and there was no sign of him. She'd notified security, but asked if I'd also have a look for him as well. His parents were both on the ward and were naturally anxious, so I said sure I'd help out with the search.
     
    Checked all of the bathrooms, the two wards next to ours, and the public toilets on our floor. After searching for about twenty minutes (and getting concerned that we'd either had an abduction or he'd collapsed somewhere) I found him in one of the toilets, smoking a cigarette.
     
    I told him off over it and you know what he said to me? "I'm gonna be dead in three months from the cancer. Do you really think one fag is gonna make a difference?"
     
    Three and a half hours later, I still have no comeback!
  4. Andy78
    Well a friend of mine, James, phoned me earlier today saying he needed to see me.
     
    His 15 year old son Michael, (who is gay and out) has been suspended from school for bringing "smut" onto school premises, even though the school year ends on Friday - "smut" was his teacher's words not mine.
     
    Needless to say I was shocked. Not quite so much by the fact that he is into porn at 15, it was the surprise that he would be stupid enough to take a porn magazine to school (at least that was what I assumed the school had meant by "smut"). Thankfully, it transpired that Michael had simply been caught reading a book on his Kindle.
     
    Slight overreaction on the school's part or what? But, to paraphrase Frank Sinatra, the best was yet to come.
     
    James handed me Michael's Kindle and, knowing I read a lot of gay fiction, asked me if I would read the story and let him know what I thought about it. I thought James was probably going about it the wrong way in not getting Michael's side of the story, but since he and his wife have been told that they need to see the headteacher tomorrow to discuss the situation or Michael will not be allowed back to school after Xmas, James wanted my opinion.
     
    Well there I was expecting it be some jack off story from Nifty or maybe Literotica, however, it transpired that the smut was a filthy book written by a depraved, cruel, sadistic, sick and twisted author. The book was Pricolici by Alicia Nordwell
     
    Thankfully, I was able to reassure my friend that the story is far from smut, and obviously none of the school's faculty had bothered reading the story before passing judgement.
     
    Although James thinks the school have overreacted in the circumstances (and to a certain extent so do I), I can also see it from the school's perspective as they do have a policy on not allowing material of a sexual nature to be brought onto school premises. The school could have simply told Michael to stay off for the rest of the week and not record it as a formal suspension, but I know it's easy to sometimes forget the spirit of these policies and only focus on the wording.
  5. Andy78

    Freewriting

    By Andy78,

    Well shock and horror the sheep is still around!
     
    Yeah, I've been kinda absent of late, lots of stuff going on. Nothing noteworthy, just so many different little things taking up so much time.
     
    Anyway, this blog entry is about my experiment today with freewriting. It's not something I do very often, but I enjoy it when I do.
     
    For those who have never done any freewriting, it's actually quite easy. You simply write, without regard to spelling, grammar, subject matter, plot, or any of those other annoying pesky things that get in the way of us writing.
     
    Most of the time, I usually throw away my freewriting. It's not that it's no good, or that I don't want to share it, as most people who have done any freewriting will tell you, it can be a bastard and a half turning freewriting into a story that makes sense. Sometimes the basic idea survives and becomes a short story, but now I find myself with a story to either adopt or kill.
     
    A simple experiment has left me with an 8k Harry Potter fanfic, that I have absolutely no idea what to do with. I just sat down and started writing, and before I knew it, I was writing a bloody HP story
     
    So I either bin the story - believe me I've never ever sat down with the intention of writing an HP fanfic. I've written one very short HP story, but I'd much rather leave the HP epics to authors like Dan and Myr - or I adopt it, and not have clue one where the fuck to go with it or what the fuck to do with it.
     
    I guess we'll all find out over the coming weeks.
  6. Andy78

    What the . . .

    By Andy78,

    So last night we were watching the old film Bugsy Malone with some friends and their kids.
     
    About half way through the film, one of our friends sons, Matthew, who is 14, made the following comment. "I'd love to coat that in honey and lick it off".
     
    Assumed he was referring to Tallulah (played by Jodie Foster)
     

     
     
    or maybe Blousey (played by Florrie Dugger).
     

     
     
     
    Nope, I was wrong on both counts.
     
    Turned out he was actually perving on Bugsy (played by Scott Baio).
     
     

     
     
    Well, that's one way of coming out to friends.
  7. Andy78
    Well apparently I've managed to get my Brett's ten year old nephew, Michael, suspended from school for three days.
     
    Brett and I were talking to him recently about the games that we played in school during breaktime (recess). One of the most common games I played when I was in junior school (age 7-10) was a version of tag called British Bulldogs (when I was 5 or 6 I used to play Fishy-Fishy instead, but that really is for the littler kids to play).
     
    The link explains the basics of the rules for both games (for those who never played them or heard of them), and I didn't know that many schools have actually banned British Bulldogs from being played. Yes it is on the rough side, but ultimately it's no worse than a game of rugby. However, as the game was/is usually played on a concrete/asphalt playground, injuries used to happen. They were mostly just bumps and bruises, but when they happened we all just shrugged it off, dusted ourselves down and life went on.
     
    The worst injury I ever had when playing, was on one occasion (at the age of eight) being tackled by a girl in my class (yes we used to play mixed team), I lost my footing (she had literally rugby-tackled me) and I cracked my head open on the playground. There was blood everywhere and it took the docs sixteen stitches to patch me up (I still have a small scar as a war wound). I simply took a couple of paracetamol (tylenol), accepted the young lady's apology, and I was back in school the next day ready to play again (and I probably did). Nobody batted an eyelid over it; not the school, not the other kids, not even my parents.
     
    Anyway, it seems that Brett's nephew arranged a small game at school today. One of the boy's in his class ended up with a small bruise on his arm after taking a tumble, and the school have hit the panic button. Letters are apparently being sent out to all the parents reminding them that British Bulldogs is banned in the school, Michael's parents (Brett's brother and his missus) are being called to the school to see the headteacher, and they have just now exchanged certain select words with yours truly.
     
    Now when I was in school, if you got a bump or a bruise in the playground, the school nurse used to kiss it better and send you on your way; if I had a pound for every boo-boo I picked up in school I could pay off half of our national debt.
     
    Now am I the only person who thinks that there are far more important things to worry about than a ten year old boy getting a boo-boo at school from playing a fucking game of tag?
     
    Is this a case of health and safety gone mad?
     
    Now I think that the school (and Michael's parents) are completely blowing this out of all proportion. Please don't tell me, that everyone else is right and I'm wrong on this one.
  8. Andy78
    Now there is an understatement if I ever heard one.
     
    Brett and I were at a gathering of friends today. Nothing special, just a get together and an excuse to drink alcohol. Most of our friends brought their kids along, and two of them - Michael and Bobby, who is Brett's nephew - who are both ten years old in a few weeks time got talking.
     
    I've no idea how they got onto the subject, but Brett and I overheard Michael asking Bobby "So just how do two guys do it?" Brett and I have never hidden our sexuality from our friends or family, so I guess Michael must have assumed that Bobby was aware of the mechanics of how two guys have sex.
     
    I was absolutely floored when Bobby said "Well, Uncle Brett sticks his cock up Uncle Andy's arsehole."
     
    **sheep and hubby exit stage left with all haste**
  9. Andy78
    So tonight on Challenge TV, two of the greatest children's shows ever are being shown from the beginning.
     
    Both were shows that every 80's child in the UK wanted to be on.
     
    Funhouse http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fun_House_(UK_game_show) and Knightmare http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knightmare
     
    These two shows were on when satellite TV was practically unheard of in the UK. In fact, we only had four TV channels when these two shows were first broadcast.
     
    Knightmare was probably the most popular children's show ever with 5 million viewers at it's height - this was around 85% of the children's viewing audience. This show was so popular than an online petition to have it released on DVD reached over 100k signatures.
     
    Watch and relieve your childhood. I know I will be.
  10. Andy78

    A writing update

    By Andy78,

    I thought it was time to let peeps knowing just what on earth I'm playing at.
     
    I know I have posted stories for the anthologies, and a few short stories, but I have two in process stories that have kinda languished with no new chapters since last summer, for which I apologise.
     
    Work, life, work, work etc etc got in the way.
     
     
    The Ddraig-Cyfrinachau has encountered more problems than I thought possible when I started writing it - the best laid plans of mice and men and all that
     
    The person who helps me with all the history research and creating fiction around the facts has had some serious health concerns, but she's now back on the mend.
     
    I had also originally planned for this to be one novella/novel length story, but I have been adopting oh so many plot bunnies, and some of the ideas I have are proving far more difficult to write into the story than I imagined.
     
    I have also (without meaning to) created a few sub-plots within the story, which I (at present) have no idea how to develop without the main story getting lost.
     
    I have kinda written myself into a little bit of a corner, but so what else is new
     
    I have therefore had to reassess my plans for this story in a pretty big way. The new plan:
     
    1. The existing story will now end in probably three or four chapters time (probably around August all going well). I have rewritten the next few chapters to accommodate "THE NEW PLAN" (imagine big shiny letters and trumpets blowing and flags waving and streamers and stuff) and I hope to start posting by the end of the month. This story will now serve as an introduction to the characters, dragons etc - something akin to the pilot episode of a TV series.
     
    2. The story will continue as a series of smaller stories (hopefully around 10k each), with each focusing on one single event (kinda like an episode in a TV series). This will allow me to write a lot of the ideas I have, but have been struggling with incorporating without the basic plot getting lost.
     
    3. I will be able to play around with plots and write flashback scenes more easily, and I can work on a few ideas at the same time - which will mean that if one "story" won't write, I can simply work on another and it won't hold up the series.
     
    4. I'll be able to address the sub-plots I've created and the bunnies I've adopted.
     
     
    As for my other story From Russia With Love, well, until I get The Ddraig-Cyfrinachau finished nothing is going to happen. I've got chapters written in rough, but I want to get the first story finished, before I start doing any rewrites on this one.
     
     
    Wish me luck with "THE NEW PLAN" (I really, really, really don't want to have to come up with "THE NEW NEW PLAN" ).
  11. Andy78

    Eurovision 2013

    By Andy78,

    Well, it's almost that time of year again.
     
    The 58th Eurovision Song Contest is rapidly approaching us (May 18th for the final). This year it is being hosted in the lovely city of Malmo, Sweden. If Brett and I do decide to go, I will forewarn our Swedish members so that you can all go and tremble with fear in your neighbouring Norway
     
    Now as Eurovision followers will know, the United Kingdom last won it in 1997 with our highest score ever of 227 (Katrina and the Waves with 'Love Shine A Light'), and since then we've had a bit of a bad run of things of late:
     
    twice we have come in 25th of 25
     
    we have come in joint 23rd of 25
     
    and of course there was the supreme embarrassment of Gemini singing Cry Baby in 2003 (who gave us our first and only total score of zero, and we came in 26th of 26)
     
    We find ancient singers, who we've unburied from obscurity, and just hope to God that the popularity they enjoyed in former years comes back and we get more than the traditional "Nil points".
     
    Last year we dug up Mr Engelbert Humperdink, and we all know how well that went!
     
    This year, there is a much greater hope for the United Kingdom.
     
    Our entry is none other than the highly talented, and my fellow countryman (er, countrywoman) Bonnie Tyler **this is where you cheer, and clap, and do your happy dances**
     
    You may remember her from the late 70s and early 80s and she is currently about 9 weeks shy of her 62nd birthday. However, in spite of all that, she is the UK's greatest hope in many years.
     
    Here she is singing Brett's karaoke choice:
     

  12. Andy78

    Oh my! An update

    By Andy78,

    As those who read my blog entry back in early December will remember, I discovered a couple of cottagers in one of the admin buildings at work. My blog entry and a few of the comments from members took a fairly light-hearted view of the situation. Today, I only wish I had been a bit less light-hearted about it.
     
    At the time, security didn't really do much about it and it was soon forgotten. This morning an e-mail was circulated by our head of security advising us that all admin buildings are off limits outside of normal working hours until security ID access has been added to all of the buildings, which should be done by the end of next week.
     
    Apparently there have been a few incidents over the past couple of weeks and it seems as though my nice pleasant hospital has even been featured on a gay sex hook up website as a place to meet for fun and frolicking with like-minded cottagers.
     
    One of my friends who works in the security office told me that over the previous weekend (9th and 10th Feb) one of these cottagers (who is the tender age of 19) got his head kicked in by the guy he had arranged to meet, and apparently is lucky to have survived. The kid was not discovered for nearly 35 hours, and that was only by a fluke security check of the building as one of the smoke alarms had gone off. The case has now been handed over to the police, but the head of security is also investigating into why my initial complaint wasn't acted on more appropriately.
     
    Whilst I feel sorry for the kid, the number of warnings that get circulated about meeting up with strangers, especially for sex, seem to fall on deaf ears. I know that even if security had closed off the admin buildings sooner, this kid would probably have simply gone somewhere else and the outcome would likely have been the same. Doesn't stop me feeling like crap.
  13. Andy78
    Apparently an old Chinese curse "May you live in interesting times"; well I now in very interesting times thank you very much.
     
     
    My cousin (Nancy) and her boyfriend (David) split towards the end of November, and a few weeks back I found out that David is now going out with another cousin of mine (Sarah). A very bizarre quirk of fate, as neither of my cousins even knew each other until this happened; Nancy is a cousin on my Mum's side and Sarah is a cousin on my Dad's side.
     
    My Mum's family and Dad's family have never really gotten along owing to a huge amount of shit that happened when I was still in diapers, and the whole thing makes the War of Independence look like a lovers spat. It would take dozens of blog entries to go into it all (and I really can't afford the therapy that would go with it); suffice to say, that with two or three exceptions amongst the eldest of them, none of my nine maternal cousins (and their seven kids) know any of my eleven paternal cousins (and their fourteen kids). Even those few of my cousins who did know each other haven't seen each other in over thirty years, so probably wouldn't recognise each other anyway.
     
    When my Mum and Dad are in the same room the explosions are like Guy Fawkes, July 4th and Chinese New Year all rolled into one; I can't even remember the last time they managed to have a civilised conversation that didn't involve lawyers acting as go-betweens.
     
    Anyway, now I'm the shit for one reason and one reason alone.
     
    Since Nancy and David were together for nearly three years, I actually got quite friendly with him (not like that! Please drag your mind out of the gutter), and most of my maternal cousins are also on friendly terms with him and so we all stayed in touch with him (since the split was very amicable with no animosity felt on either side). Now I'm being accused by most of the family as having set up the new couple to try and bring my cousins from both sides of the family closer together in a misguided attempt to try and heal a few old wounds.
     
    Believe me, even I'm not that stupid! That is a major can of worms that even Oprah Winfrey, Jerry Springer, Ricky Lake, and the entire armed forces of the UN all combined wouldn't be able to handle!
     
    Nobody in the family is buying that this was just one of those little curve balls that God likes to throw to stop us all from getting bored; most of my aunts and uncles (on both sides of the family) feel I should have said something to someone to stop this situation from arising.
     
    Today (well technically yesterday as it's now nearly 1AM here), to really compound the issue, and royally piss everyone off, both Nancy and Sarah announced that they are pregnant (Nancy about four and half months along, and Sarah about six weeks); no prizes for correctly guessing who the father of both children is, and definitely no prizes for correctly guessing whose fault this latest development is.
  14. Andy78

    The in-laws are coming

    By Andy78,

    So we made it through the end of world (big shock) and Christmas has come round again.
     
    This year my in-laws (well, you know what I mean, Brett's parents) are coming to Christmas dinner, and they arrive tomorrow - God help us all.
     
    Now don't get me wrong, I love his mum to bits, but she's just too much for me to handle when I'm cooking.
     
    Our kitchen is a tiny little thing that is just about large enough for an oven, a sink, a fridge and one (count them ONE) cook. His mum is like those annoying people in the car when you're driving. You know the sort; they tell you go faster, to go slower, to turn left, to "OMG watch out for that cyclist!".
     
    Last time she was hanging around in the kitchen when I was cooking, I got injured twice:
     
    My first injury, I ended up with third degree burns. I'd just taken the casserole dish out of the oven, and I nearly tripped over her, splashing myself with gravy.
     
    My second injury, I managed to stab myself in the hand with a paring knife. I was peeling potatoes to go with our casserole, and she backed into me causing my hand to slip.
     
    Now in the grand scheme of things, I've had far worse happen to me in the kitchen over the years. I've still got the burn mark from where I splashed boiling hot toffee on myself when I was eight years old (I think that was the first time I actually used some of the proper grown up swear words ), I managed to break my big toe after dropping a cast iron stewpot on it, and I've sliced my fingers open on my food processor blades more times than I can count.
     
    But I'd just like to get through Christmas Day without needing to use the first aid kit. I plan to park the mother-in-law on the sofa in front of The Queen's Speech with a large glass of sherry where hopefully she'll avoid injuring me
     
    I've also never quite known what to make of his dad. He's always been great about us, but he's almost "too great". He's like those parents who try and keep up with their kids, listen to their kids' music, watch the same films as their kids, he's even threatened to start going to Pride with us I'm just not sure I've ever seen the real him; so I've never really known how to take him.
     
    Still it could be worse I suppose.
     
    It could my parents coming to Christmas dinner.
  15. Andy78

    I'm so wicked

    By Andy78,

    Since it's coming to the end of the year, it's time for us to start clearing out our old files. Anything that is over seven years old (so any records on children who finished their chemotherapy by the end of 2005), needs to be scanned into PDF files and then all of the paper records have to be shredded.
     
    Now since this is always a huge undertaking (usually takes until the end of January), we try and get some of the staff to persuade their kids to come in and lend a hand (saves paying agency staff a small fortune). One of our new nurses has talked her 19 year old son into helping out, as his university has already broken up for Xmas.
     
    The only problem is that he makes this look like the rear end of a bus:
     

     
     
     
    and makes one of these jealous (and yes Andy does know, because Andy peaked in the restroom):
     

     
     
    I just hope we get this project finished before I drown in my own drool.
  16. Andy78

    Oh my!

    By Andy78,

    Well today at work was a bit of a shock for me.
     
    I had to go over to the medical records archives section today. Like many London hospitals, the hospital I work at has been around since the 1700s, so is now scattered over about 40 buildings, most of which are purely administrative areas (makes more space in the main hospital for patient stuff).
     
    One of these admin areas houses the medical records archive, the phlebotomy clinic (where they do the blood tests) and the specimen drop off (for those of you have ever had to drop off a urine or stool sample at a hospital, you'll know the kind of thing I mean). So, naturally, during the week, it's a busy hub of activity, however on the weekend, it's like a ghost town; you could literally drop dead from a heart attack on Saturday in some of these smaller buildings, and not be found until everyone returns to work on Monday morning. Bloody scary thought.
     
    Now usually because of just that, if we are working on the weekend and need to go the archives for anything, we go in pairs; today, I had to go on my own as we didn't have someone to spare. It's about a twenty minute walk there, and then a twenty minute walk back, so when we're short staffed having two people off the ward for an hour can be a bitch.
     
    Now bad enough as it is being a ghost town, in order to save money, on the weekends, the heating gets turned off; fair enough, since there is usually nobody there from 5PM on Friday until 8AM on Monday. However, not fair enough when yours truly felt that pressure on his bladder and needed to pee. Now I hate using the toilets in the archives building for a whole host of reasons on the weekend, least of which is that they are public toilets (not staff toilets), so they are not security-only access; meaning that Joe Public can come and go as they please. When this building is busy, it's not really a problem, but when you are the only person there, if something happened, quite literally, nobody would hear you scream.
     
    Anyway, thankfully today turned out not to be a concern so much about my physical safety as my mental well being. I walked into the toilet freezing my jacksie off, what with there being no heating on and the windows being wide open, and I heard what can only be described as two people having a hell of a lot of fun in one of the cubicles.
     
    Now, there's me with full pressure on my bladder, feeling like a camel who hasn't pee'd in a month, and two (I presume and hope) consenting adults going at it like bunnies in one of the stalls.
     
    So, just what do you do in that kind of SNAFU?
     
    Well, I immediately came up with four alternatives:
     
    1. Pee, wash my hands, and then calmly and casually leave as though nothing was wrong
     
    2. Enjoy the sound of it for a while, take care of new business, pee, wash my hands, and then calmly and casually leave as though nothing was wrong, hoping I'd finish before they did
     
    3. Knock on the door of the cubicle and ask if they were interested in a third
     
    4. Run like the proverbial wind and alert one of the security staff
     
    Well, I opted for number 4. Followed very quickly by number 1; in the comfort and safety of the staff toilets on my ward.
     
    I've been told security will pull the CCTV footage on Monday and try to identify the cottagers (I believe that is the correct term).
     
    So in that kind of SNAFU, what would you, my fellow GA'ers do?
  17. Andy78
    So my manager returned to work early last week, and her welcome back was, shall we say, less than friendly.
     
    She has received several size sevens up her backside (primarily from her manager and the manager who was covering for her), and the top information manager for the hospital (who I've only met once) apparently jumped on her with both feet.
     
    We had our team meeting this morning, and we have been told that our manager has just tended her resignation - though we all think she was probably asked to. So, only four weeks left, then we will be free of her.
     
    The new database has passed all QA checks, and went live on Monday. It's working well, so at least all of my hard work is paying off.
     
    So join with me and my fellow downtrodden:
     

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=9Jn8K8EA7-Q
  18. Andy78

    First anniversary

    By Andy78,

    So yesterday was my GA first anniversary.
     
    When I first came to GA it was really just to read some brilliant stories, and hopefully find a few authors I'd never read before.
     
    I really didn't plan or even expect to be where I am now - having posted 15 stories (and 30 some prompt stories) and 127k+ words, and recently having joined the blog team. I certainly didn't expect to get to know so many great people - I'm not gonna start naming names because there's just too many of you great people out there in GA land.
     
    When I started posting my stories I received some much needed encouragement (and the occasional boot up the jacksie) from Cia. Without her help and input, I know I wouldn't be enjoying writing as much as I do.
     
    So I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone here who has made this such a great place to be over the past year. Whether you've read any of my stories and left reviews, whether we've been catching up in chat, or having fun in the forums, this has been a great place to be.
     
    I guess I should end with a thank you to Myr for all his hard work keeping this great place up and running.
     
    Well, here's to the next 365 days!!
     

  19. Andy78
    So as anyone who read my last blog entry knows, I'm currently stuck working every hour God sends thanks to my manager sodding off on holiday.
     
    Anyway, today in our team meeting one of the other statisticians (who I'll call Margaret), reminds us all she is away next week on Thursday and Friday. The dumb bitch actually had the nerve to ask if I (yes me, yes Andy, yes this poor dumb sod who is already working 63 hours a week) would cover her work while she is away (after she had actually declined to help me out while I'm putting the database together). She was oddly surprised when I told her not bloody likely!
     
    So she runs off and tells the other boss about the bad lazy Andy - after all it's only about four hours work she tells me (as if I don't already know, I do the same job you do Margaret). If it was just the end of month figures, then yeah about four hours sounds right; except of course, it is also the end of quarter figures (another four to five hours work on top). So not content with seeing me working 63 hours next week, Margaret grants me the opportunity to work 72 hours - yeah right, where on my face does it say "feckin' eejit here"!
     
    Twenty minutes later, there's a knock-knock on my door, and I get asked why I felt it necessary to tell Margaret where to go and how to get there. So I tell our other boss (who I'll call Suzie) that because my manager has gone off on holiday, I'm stuck setting up the new database on top of my normal workload, so I just don't have the time to spare to help.
     
    Suzie then asks me why I'm doing it, when her understanding was that it could wait until my manager got back from holiday. Well it turns out nobody (i.e. my manager) bothered telling Suzie that the project deadline had been brought forward by a month.
     
    So I get out my mark-10 super-sized special-edition shit-stirring spoon and set it on maximum. After filling Suzie in on everything, and showing her the minutes from our April team meeting when the new deadline was announced (the minutes that say my manager to advise Suzie of the new deadline date), she is now seriously pissed at my manager for not telling her about the project deadline being brought forward. Suzie is usually only responsible for data QA, she doesn't get involved in the day-to-day data and project management side of things (after all that's my manager's job). But since Suzie and my manager cross-cover, Suzie is now responsible for the database set up and any issues are going to be down to her to resolve - welcome to my world!
     
    It seems Suzie would have tried to persuade my manager to either postpone her holiday or take it a month or so earlier if she'd known about the new deadline. Well Suzie (oh Great Brain of Britain), I'm going to go out on a limb, and guess that is precisely why my manager didn't tell you.
     
    As you can guess, my manager also hadn't told Suzie about the insane number of hours I would be working over the next few weeks either, but since Suzie is currently in charge she has decided that I will get paid instead of having to take the time back; so I'll get a nice little holiday out of it all. And boy will I ever need one!
     
    Thanks for listening/reading to me vent. I feel a little better now.
  20. Andy78

    A whinge and a whine

    By Andy78,

    So I have just finished working my seventh straight day, and it's gonna carry on for another three weeks. That means I'll have worked twenty-eight straight days by the time this is done (or 252 hours, or 15120 minutes, damn this just sounds worse and worse)!
     
    At work we are setting up a new database for our cancer treatments and diagnoses, which will form part of a much larger new national dataset. We knew this design project was going to be happening over these four weeks (have done since April), and my manager chooses these three weeks to bugger off on holiday! So that leaves muggins here having to design the entire database from scratch; and that's on top of working my regular Monday-Friday 9-5 job.
     
    There are three other senior clinical statisticians, and have they even offered to help? Of course not. Why would they? After all, they are going to benefit from the database once its finished and I've covered for them before! It's the first rule of the National Health Service - I scratch your back, you stick a knife in mine!
     
    It's a highly clinical two hundred and thirty eight item dataset. I have to set up all the table relationships, do all of the data mapping, set up the data item dropdowns, set up all of the reverse look-up values, write in all of the validation rules, and write the reporting. And then to cap it all off, I've got to the bloody QA on it as well.
     
    With a go-live date of October 15th, I've got so much work to do to pull this off, and most of it is actually my manager's responsibility. I am so pissed off, it's not even funny.
     
    The only thing keeping me going through all of this, is knowing once it is finished my job will become a lot easier.
     
    So anyway, I'll apologise in advance if I'm snappy with anyone. I should also probably give soapbox a wide berth for the next month.
  21. Andy78

    A Busy Week

    By Andy78,

    I've had a busy week or so, but it's been great.
     
    First (and most important): As some of you know, though I rarely talk about it, my mum has suffered from depression over the past ten years or so. On Wednesday, she had made it one whole year without a single hospitalisation, for the first time ever since her diagnosis. She is doing really well, and is even planning on joining one of the support groups on a weekend getaway to Bruges next month. So we had a big party, that went on into the wee hours.
     
    Second: My better half and I celebrated our fourteenth anniversary on Monday. We have now been together longer than any couple in my family, and take every chance to remind them all of it . My nan said that kids who get together in university don't have lasting relationships; well, guess she was wrong. Of course, we had another party that went on into the wee hours.
     
    Third: Spent a few days reading the anthology stories - congrats to everyone on the great entries. My first anthology story was really well received, and I'd like to thank everyone who read and reviewed.
     
    Fourth: Baked a couple of cakes for our annual Cancer Research UK fundraiser yesterday.
     
    I'm now looking forward to putting my feet up over the weekend and just crashing in front of the TV.
  22. Andy78

    Back Home

    By Andy78,

    Just back from a two day cancer conference in Manchester - woo hoo!!
     
    Lots of the usual learning stuff - what we are doing to treat children's cancers, what the future holds, survival statistics, what we are doing better on etc etc etc.
     
    More important - 2 nights out painting the town pink Lots of fun in the bars in probably the most well known street in England outside of London.
     

     
     
    Had a few drinkies too many and committed the age old sacrilege of karaoke Stayed out each night until 2AM, then had to be up by 6AM to attend the conference breakfasts. I never learn.
     
    The conference was really well attended this year by nurse specialists, research staff, NHS managers, data people, doctors, but more importantly by children who were 5-year, 10-year, even 15-year survivors of cancer.
     
    Next conference will be even better. End of September: 7 day cancer conference in Dublin (here's hoping my manager will sign off on the cost of it)
  23. Andy78

    A sad day

    By Andy78,

    Not the happiest thing to have as my first blog entry, but who ever said blogs had to be happy.
     
    I've been working on a children's oncology ward for the past year or so, doing the data collection for our national cancer register and managing the medical files of the patients. One of the children (who for this blog I'll call Max) passed away a few weeks ago from leukaemia. It really is true what they say, "Paediatrics is the best and the worst of medicine".
     
    Usually, I don't have much to do with the children or their family since I work on the administration side of things, but somehow I got to know Max and his parents really well - when that happened he stopped being a medical file and a diagnosis, and become a real person with feelings and a life. For him having been twenty-some years younger than me, we actually shared a similar sense of humour, and both had a love of all things sci-fi.
     
    I'd first met Max about six months ago, and at the time I couldn't figure out who was having a harder time dealing with his diagnosis, him or his parents; though to be honest it was probably his parents, I think it always is the parents who have the harder time coping. I never saw any of his friends up at the hospital, which I later found out from his parents was because the parents were unsure how his friends would cope being around Max at his worst.
     
    I've worked in oncology in one department or another for almost ten years, but it hadn't prepared me at all for working on a children's ward. I've seen patients who have been told there is nothing left that can be done for them, patients who have been told their cancer has come back, and those patients who have been given the really good news that the cancer is gone. And yes, cancer affects not only the patient but also their family. I've lost five members of my own family to cancer over the years and it has always been devastating. Though someone who is eighty or ninety years old and being diagnosed with cancer is one thing, but a ten year old or a teenager is something completely different; it shouldn't be, but for some reason it is.
     
    Today, I was finalising the data collection for the cancer register by entering Max's death record and closing his oncology file to be sent off to our records department. And that was when it really hit me; this fun-loving, carefree twelve year old boy was gone. Oh, I knew he had died, since he had died on the ward whilst I was at work, but this was confirmation he really was gone; he'd never grow up, never have a girlfriend, never get caught sneaking one of his dad's beers, never to college. What I did today was the hospital equivalent of what Max's parents are doing; packing everything up, putting it away, saying "Max is gone so we no longer need this". God, no parent should ever outlive their child.
     
    I've entered death records and closed patient's files before without feeling anything even close to this, but then again they have simply been a medical file with a diagnosis. They weren't a real person with feeling, hopes, aspirations and family, were they? Of course they were, but the difference was I never knew them.
     
    Today made me realise just how much I had come to care about Max and how big of an impact his passing has had on me.
     
    Today has made me decide to get to know the children, the mums, the dads, the aunts, the uncles.
     
    Rest in peace Max.
  24. Andy78

    A writing update

    By Andy78,

    I thought it was time to let peeps knowing just what on earth I'm playing at.
     
    I know I have posted stories for the anthologies, and a few short stories, but I have two in process stories that have kinda languished with no new chapters since last summer, for which I apologise.
     
    Work, life, work, work etc etc got in the way.
     
     
    The Ddraig-Cyfrinachau has encountered more problems than I thought possible when I started writing it - the best laid plans of mice and men and all that
     
    The person who helps me with all the history research and creating fiction around the facts has had some serious health concerns, but she's now back on the mend.
     
    I had also originally planned for this to be one novella/novel length story, but I have been adopting oh so many plot bunnies, and some of the ideas I have are proving far more difficult to write into the story than I imagined.
     
    I have also (without meaning to) created a few sub-plots within the story, which I (at present) have no idea how to develop without the main story getting lost.
     
    I have kinda written myself into a little bit of a corner, but so what else is new
     
    I have therefore had to reassess my plans for this story in a pretty big way. The new plan:
     
    1. The existing story will now end in probably three or four chapters time (probably around August all going well). I have rewritten the next few chapters to accommodate "THE NEW PLAN" (imagine big shiny letters and trumpets blowing and flags waving and streamers and stuff) and I hope to start posting by the end of the month. This story will now serve as an introduction to the characters, dragons etc - something akin to the pilot episode of a TV series.
     
    2. The story will continue as a series of smaller stories (hopefully around 10k each), with each focusing on one single event (kinda like an episode in a TV series). This will allow me to write a lot of the ideas I have, but have been struggling with incorporating without the basic plot getting lost.
     
    3. I will be able to play around with plots and write flashback scenes more easily, and I can work on a few ideas at the same time - which will mean that if one "story" won't write, I can simply work on another and it won't hold up the series.
     
    4. I'll be able to address the sub-plots I've created and the bunnies I've adopted.
     
     
    As for my other story From Russia With Love, well, until I get The Ddraig-Cyfrinachau finished nothing is going to happen. I've got chapters written in rough, but I want to get the first story finished, before I start doing any rewrites on this one.
     
     
    Wish me luck with "THE NEW PLAN" (I really, really, really don't want to have to come up with "THE NEW NEW PLAN" ).
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