So we made it through the end of world (big shock) and Christmas has come round again.
This year my in-laws (well, you know what I mean, Brett's parents) are coming to Christmas dinner, and they arrive tomorrow - God help us all.
Now don't get me wrong, I love his mum to bits, but she's just too much for me to handle when I'm cooking.
Our kitchen is a tiny little thing that is just about large enough for an oven, a sink, a fridge and one (count them ONE) cook. His mum is like those annoying people in the car when you're driving. You know the sort; they tell you go faster, to go slower, to turn left, to "OMG watch out for that cyclist!".
Last time she was hanging around in the kitchen when I was cooking, I got injured twice:
My first injury, I ended up with third degree burns. I'd just taken the casserole dish out of the oven, and I nearly tripped over her, splashing myself with gravy.
My second injury, I managed to stab myself in the hand with a paring knife. I was peeling potatoes to go with our casserole, and she backed into me causing my hand to slip.
Now in the grand scheme of things, I've had far worse happen to me in the kitchen over the years. I've still got the burn mark from where I splashed boiling hot toffee on myself when I was eight years old (I think that was the first time I actually used some of the proper grown up swear words ), I managed to break my big toe after dropping a cast iron stewpot on it, and I've sliced my fingers open on my food processor blades more times than I can count.
But I'd just like to get through Christmas Day without needing to use the first aid kit. I plan to park the mother-in-law on the sofa in front of The Queen's Speech with a large glass of sherry where hopefully she'll avoid injuring me
I've also never quite known what to make of his dad. He's always been great about us, but he's almost "too great". He's like those parents who try and keep up with their kids, listen to their kids' music, watch the same films as their kids, he's even threatened to start going to Pride with us I'm just not sure I've ever seen the real him; so I've never really known how to take him.
Still it could be worse I suppose.
It could my parents coming to Christmas dinner.