Henry_Henry2012

I'd rather run out my frustrations for the day, then sing inside the shower afterwards.

This song has been driving me crazy lately. I know it's only 20 years ago and not much of an oldie when this song came to the charts. Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough by Patty Smith & Don Henley

This song is currently driving me crazy. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.c...ed/zTqYGpqS-XE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

I could actually use this in my writing. *giggles*

Yeah, already downloaded and saw the ending. Still was a bit lacking for me. It's a rush attempt to fix things. But of course, that will do somehow.

Shelter and Soldier's Girl. Shelter because I adored the storyline. Soldier's Girl because it has Lee Pace in it and his acting was amazing. He was such a beautiful transvestite.

I tend to be a C. Haha. But I did make my ex a scratch-post with a little biting here and there and scratching everywhere. There's always something mind numbing to gasping that I find exciting. I'm all big into looking into the person's eyes. And I can't concentrate if he's all noisy. I'd rather see the emotions on his face rather than the blurbs in his mouth if it would only distract me. I'm a zen person. I can't help it.

Sheila - Woman Bloody Hell - It's like What the hell. Abso-f**cking-lutely - Extremely in agreement. Git - Idiot Flooded - Cramped with Work Nickers/Undies - Briefs/Panties Good Arvo - Good Afternoon Avos - Avocado Bastard - Something I say to my dear dear friends Barbie - Barbecue Beaut - Fantastic or Pretty Bloody Oath - True Moolah - Money Pash - Kiss Reckon - It's like absolutely Rubbish - Nonsense Stubby - Those small beers Stoked - I'm excited Fair Dinkum - Awesome bloke Fair Go - Give it a try There's still lots of it. But I generally don't speak bogan unless provoked. Haha.

I KNOW! I didn't spent a couple of years waiting for this franchise to get botched at the end. Shepard cannot die. His boyfriend is waiting back in Earth. Cross fingers for DA3 then. I'm expecting another Alistair-like character to pop-up soon.

CLUE: It's An English Classic. “If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth."

Good Day, Yettie One. I am in complete agreement with your statements. However, I was not implying that depression (when you're clinically referred to as) is a choice. That is why I said on my previous post: In other words, I was referring to those deemed by the psychological community, as depression, not being a choice. And what I felt and is still feeling is a criss-cross of emotions between powerlessness and the variable option to choose what I'm feeling. Depression makes you yielding to the thoughts that compose your current state being, because depression has a self-fulfilling prophecy that you repetitively induce to yourself: unconsciously or consciously, without knowing that you actually are causing it upon your self. Why do I say it upon yourself? Because the purpose of going to a shrink is to identify the cause, the root, the object or the prestation of what makes your comportment associate itself to the negativity that surrounds you. There are two classified types of depression: clinical and opportunistic. Clinical means that there is an imbalance in your physiological state that makes you feel depressed. These are the mentally incapacitated individuals who are given prescription drugs for feeling this overwhelming emotions. Opportunistic however means, the way you think is dependent upon your environment (friends, family, society, work, relationships) which leads you to powerless thinking. If a woman is depressed because her husband physically and emotionally abuses her. Then the advice a normal person will provide is to stay away from her husband. But what if person who's giving the advice doesn't realise is she is psychologically aroused by the treatment or condition that her husband is providing her? Thus, leads to her having some form of disease, an emotional attachment to her abuser, or punisher. And when she decides to go to a shrink, she tells her shrink that the reason why her husband is maltreating her is because she cheated on him, or maybe she's afraid, or more likely, she her shrink may enlighten her that she enjoys the abuse as a form of comfort for her past mistakes: which is wrong. My previous example was to enunciate that a person who's depress will not know the reason for his or her depression because the powerlessness associated with depression hampers your ability to think rationally that there is a root cause for what someone might be feeling. There are several kinds of depression, e.g.: Dysthymia, Post-Partum Depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Atypical Depression, Psychotic Depression, Bi-Polar Disorder, Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder, Situation Depression, Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety Depression, Chronic Depression, Double Depression, Agitated Depression, Endogenous Depression, Melancholic Depression, or Catatonic Depression. And with all those kinds of depression, there is a diagnosis. And I have been diagnosed as someone who has chronic depression and melancholic depression. I've been suffering for years with being overly empathic. I cry at movies, feel guilty for someone whom I've watched in a telly being jailed for robbing a convenience store. I would feel morose when someone close to mine would die, or I would greatly sympathise for a friend who has relationship issues. It is something that comes under than the severe types of depression but it is still a depression. There are some things that I don't wish to share and some parts I wish to keep for myself, only because I want to forget those things that makes me human. As a person, you still have to keep something for yourself. All I'm saying, for me to tell that depression is a choice, because no matter HOW MUCH negativity, self-imposition, powerlessness, pessimism, you have in every bone and fiber of your skin -- the reason why you try to go to a doctor, a shrink, or a friend, is because you want to know the reason why you're feeling that certain way. Deep inside, in the recesses of your unconsciousness, you want to believe that THERE IS SOMETHING that could help you. And within that positivity, no matter how small or minute, that gives you the choice to fight it. I'm not speaking of such term in a literal way, but I'm referring to in a figurative sense that all of us in this thread wants be rid of it. If you are to say to me right now that depression is never a choice, then why go to a shrink to ask for assistance in identifying the root cause of your condition? It's because you want to know if there is a way for a professional to give aid to you. If depression is not a choice, personally speaking, then how come there are cures for it. And even if the said cure would take years, or even if you have a new form of depression not assessable in this time and age, the future thinking that IT can be cured is THERE. Depression is like a phantom arm. You feel that it's real but it's not real. Only the person who is experiencing the depression can ascertain that the phantom arm is real. And the phantom arm because an extra appendage, when the people around him feels the extant of it's impact upon themselves: negatively or in a way that affects their lives. Just the fact that we are HERE both writing our opinions in a thread about depression, having a sensical debate about our own experiences, tells ourselves and other people, that we are choosing to feel that depression can be fought or battled. We are choosing to say, "Yes. I am depress. But doesn't mean my life stop revolving. Therefore, I can talk about it because I know how depression has affected or is affecting me." The fact that WE both can talk about it, shows that there's that certain sliver or hope, that we both know that someday, it will be cured of our system. If you're stating that depression is not a choice that's why people are trying to find ways to cope up with it, then you're comparing depression to a disease. Unless depression takes over your life and controls you then yes, you don't have a choice. And yes it would not be a choice unless, it's a clinical diagnosis. And yes, medicinal treatments is quintessential to alleviate one's condition. And yes, even if you're medically diagnosed as someone who would be put in the looney bin, you still have a choice to take your medicines, talk to a shrink, do processess that could help you. And it's your choice, if you have a severe type of depression, to seek help, be cured, or be rid of it. Change is constant. And with that constance comes the underlying paradox that we have options and choices. Some options may not be available to us, some may be under our reach or hidden in our views. But the thing that separates us from creatures, us humans, is that we have the decision to either SEEK those choices or RUN away from those probabilities. No matter how complicated our lives might be, we always have that glimmer of a shiny pointed arrow that leads us to where we're going. So why would you choose to be a pessimist and think that depression is not a choice, and that I'm coping up because that's the only thing you can do. I'd rather think that we all are trying to find means to cope up because we feel that we chose to fight it, not because it has CONTROLLED our lives, that the only thing we can do is sit back and see it unravel. I don't like to incline myself with such triflings of negative outcomes, and we should all think that everything is at our disposal. It's the 21st Century. To sum it all up: Literally speaking depression is not a choice, we ALL did not choose this to happen to us. I didn't bargain for this emotion at ebay when I was shopping for a discounted item and found out my item was a rip-off. But what comes after depression, is a choice. Either to be cured or not to be cured. So I am here, writing a novel, because it composes me. I sit in a toilet to ruminate because I'm not that severe to have several voices in my head speaking all-together. If you can find that inner peace, that sanctum in your head where everything goes away, then good for you. I learned that ability to compose my thinking in three years. Three years. It wasn't easy, but I chose to do it. So unless you want to be set up in an asylum or be at the Bettie Ford Clinic then yes, your depression might be hampering your life for IT not being a choice. But for those who are not. The fact that we all can still smile, gives everyone a chance that we can get through with it. I don't mean it in a negative way Yettie One, but I want to incline you to think that what comes after depression, is the greatness of life that we all have options. (*hides under bed*)

LMFAO! The kid who wears the heart ring is sorta retarded. I can't stop laughing when captain planet said, "It's captain planet! You mothaf***a!" I used to have a heart ring. I wonder where I kept it.

I can't wait for Assassin's Creed 3 and Dragon Age 3. Another sleepless nights shall face me, but I think I better finish my story. I don't want dragons appearing on it. Mass Effect 3 was a bit of a let-down for me, and Skyrim was a bit bleeeh (I did love the opening theme song of Skyrim: EPIC!).

I would defo pee on him if he starts singing one of those high school musical sh*tty songs.

For me, depression is an option. But even options have limitations. Sometimes it's hard to know what those options are unless you break from the shackles that binds you to that certain disposition of loneliness. I've been depress most of the time and it's hard, difficult, or rather, an air of lacking confounds me not to see things in a better light. What I do when I feel the burdens of my own conscience are about to crush me; I sit down on the toilet or any public place without the disturbance of any sound that would hamper me from not thinking. Silence is the greatest companion for a mind that screams all the emotions that raptures your soul into chaos. When I'm in that cubicle, or in the toilet; I sit on the loo and breathe. I don't think about anything, but the process of breathing itself composes my senses to think rationally. 15 minutes is all I need to escape everything. You know that feeling when you feel like going to a place where your mind is the only permissible option that you can perceive that place to be; I find that relaxing and soothing. I have a few close friends; I'm an ambivert but mostly introverted. Albeit I go out and spend time with friends: talk in a coffee shop, watch a movie, talk to my best mate, or chatter about our daily life and problems; there are those moments where you wanted to be alone and you can't help but shutting everyone around you because you feel everyone's so distant to you. I've even thought of vanishing from my family and friends and probably communicate with them when I'm already in that contented phase, wherein I don't feel the need to exclude myself from my surroundings or everyone, anymore. But there's that voice that kept me holding back to stay, and think about what I'd miss if ever I did leave everything behind. I don't know if this is depression, or just a fleeting emptiness that I sometimes feel. But it's hard. I've prayed many times for some higher power to erase this emotion. But even one's creator cannot eradicate something I'm choosing to feel. I think everyone goes through that phase of loneliness where the redundancies of life gets to you, somehow. But for me, I've been suffering this feeling for almost three years now. I even thought of changing religions because my religious community - I feel - doesn't give me that spiritual guidance. And yet when I visit my church, and talk to him... it does feel comforting. Maybe the thought that some higher power is there, or the belief that somehow, out of all the crap in my life that I've been thrown, it will make some sense eventually. As much as I don't like thinking about this scenario, I can't help but say to myself: "You know what, there are a lot of dying people in this very minute. There are people who sleep on the streets without a cover on their heads, or a shelter to go home to. There are sick people who don't have the money to have the cure they need. And there are those people in this very minute who are contemplating death because they want to escape. Your problems are nothing to them. It is your own option to choose whatever emotion you feel. And if you do want to choose death as your salvation, then you are selfish. Go in the toilet now and breathe for 15 minutes, then leave and smile damn it. You're still breathing for fck's sake." I don't know if I'm crazy but I sometimes talk to myself. I hope this helps someone. And for those who think that depression is an option, unless you're psychologically proven that you have a mental condition, then depression is nothing but a choice. Even people who have been in an asylum sometimes get out as a free man of their disease. Because how can one normal person not choose to be free of one's own limiting disposition? Cause for me, it's a choice. If you want to be selfish and think of your loneliness as a thing that holds you back from living normally, then be selfish for a while. There's nothing wrong with that. But just make sure that you're not the person whom people will think who has settled for a single emotion all throughout their life. It would be a waste of time if the only thing your friends will say in your eulogy, after you've passed away, is: "Yes. He was a very depress man. I didn't even know why we're friends in the first place. Probably because he was a good drinking buddy because he was always silent. And if you have problems, he listens. Or maybe because he doesn't want to talk to me and I just rant all of my problems. Either way, he was a very depress man." So yeah. Be happy everyone. I sound like a retard.

OMG. I wear contacts because I lost my spectacles a few weeks ago. This is a sign I should buy new glasses.

I love kids. If not mine then my future partner's. Grew up with a small family. I want small versions of me that I could call my own someday. Probably when I'm financially stable, then I'd start planning on it even if I'm without a partner on my side.

Bloody hell. This made me laugh so hard. So the chicken's head is a representation of the phallus which obviously is retarded. Haha. I have to watch this film. Papa needs a good laugh or two.

Good Day, I will be posting updates with regards to this novel and some queries that my friends have asked me in relation to my story. This will give you, as a reader, insights to the process of how I started to write this novel. I will be providing the link as well to the story in this site. http://www.gayauthor...ybook1breathing NOTE: I will be posting the next chapter next week Monday or this Sunday. Although it's done up to chapter 7, I'm too lazy to press the spacebar five times just so I could copy the format it had when I wrote it on MS-Word. I'm a nutcase with these things. So please bear with me.

When the article has a Robert Browning excerpt, it sounds very legit. Haha. To the author who wrote 50 Shades of Grey...I beseech you to go to this site and read it, for the sake of your sequels.

This is a sign that I think I need to lessen my character expressions. Haha.

Thanks for all those who welcomed me. Your topic contents for a story made me laugh. I was choosing which topic you had mentioned that best suited my writing style then I saw the "nursing home" part. I don't think I'll be Gabriel Garcia Marquez and write about my grandma and grandpa mucking around in their 80's. My imagination is not that astute if you ask me. Haha. But thanks for the info. I generally appreciate a good love story, but I hate cliche's and sappy romantic ones. I'd always fall under the category that my characters needs to have issues, or else, I'd get bored writing it. I'm no Nicholas Spark but I'm leaning towards the resurgence of existentialist romance plots. Death and love interests me. But not to the point that I'd give my protagonist a rare disease like finger cancer or something like that. It still has to be romantic. Who says romance is dead.

This made me laugh. The women looked constipated from hearing his voice.

Earth Angel by the Penguins. The song always reminds me of prom.

Hello people. I am Jake. I'm hoping to post my story here after a couple of months. I conjecture that I still have a lot to do - apparently.