aleconfire

Oh my god this was hilarious. The shade of it all!! The really funny part is I can think of so many stories that have all of these tropes in them. Obviously, there are tons with a few of them, but there are also so many with all of them. Guess we all have some pretty similar fantasies.

Ok, I keep meaning/trying to write a long review of the story so far, but I keep accidentally deleting it. So, I'm just gonna keep it short. 1. I'm loving this story. I really appreciate the complexities of the characters and the storytelling style. also your writing is fantastic. 2.I actually really feel bad for bay. I hope he can deal with his assault and internalized oppression without destroying anything or anyone (especially himself) 3. good to know Isaac isn't the special snowflake it seemed like he was. He was the only major character that was kind of a mary sue, so it's good to start seeing some errors in him too. that said, I also hope he can deal with his shit soon. He's not having a healthy or mature reaction to bay, and the sooner he recognizes that the better. 4. I don't know what the fucking deal is with the z twins, but i find zupan infuriating. like Joffrey Baratheon infuriating. Like I want his head on a pike at the end of the story infuriating. I seems like you're setting him up to have just been "testing" and "guiding" Bay through some sort of tough love, but he's given Bay no love and no reason to tolerate his bullshit. He's a bully, simple as that

That was a early entertaining chapter. very amusing. I still think that the tendency of people to control zach is a bit tiresome, but it's still fun. I was curious though, have you outlined why exactly zach and alex broke up? I feel like you did but it's finals time and i'm exhausted and don't really feel like looking for it.

This was a really entertaining little story! very enjoyable. I was a little confused by the comments about having a boyfriend fro 8 years and something about Amy having met Alex. was this a long-term ex? also, I gotta say that amy seems like a shit friend.

wow that was really fantastic. I don't fully accept that danny would react this calmly to finding out his father was dead, but it was still an amazing chapter. keep it up!

Okay, I'm really loving this series, but I have one small problem with this chapter. why on earth would a military about to go to a war fought primarily through sea battle stop swimming and water combat training for it's troops? It's just a small detail but it's kinda bugging me.

I really think this chapter needs a trigger warning for sexual assault, rape, or something like that. I love this story, but I found the rape portion of this chapter profoundly repulsive and frightening. While I understand the narrative need for something shocking to occur and to not spoil that shock, I really needed a warning that the intense violence in this chapter was going to happen. No specifics need to be given (e.g. who is doing what to whom), but there needs to be something. That said, I still love your story. You do a wonderful job of developing your characters in believable ways and of creating strong dramatic tension broken up when necessary by comedic relief. I am rooting for everyone, and I just hope it can work out for them.