hey there, you said you wanted constructive reviews, so here goes.
i like it, and i like the idea, though the poker stuff at the beginning was a bit off putting, very deep and specific very quickly.
my big other thing was that there were a lot of slightly random metaphors and similes in the first 2/3 of the chapter. Stalactite teeth? not attractive, and his shoulders and back being wide as "horns" and then something about a looming bright palm tree??? i nearly gave up there, but it was worth it for the ending.
the best thing was definitely the dialogue, witty, chipper, clever. very cool. you leave us with the feeling of knowing several characters we've never actually met or seen, and that is a very good skill.
Please, if you think i have been overly critical, please tell me. generally, i liked it, enough to read on when i have time certainly.
kudos, keep going. SD