The_Jordanator

I like your in-depth analysis. That's all I can say

Chapter 9 "Will you all turn to pages 29 and 30 of your textbooks, please?" The teacher announced. "Copy the notes in the box then answer the questions." The instructions were received well by one ear, only for them to be flown out the other. Honestly, I didn't care for the work set before my science class. I had a far more pressing urges to worry about, more important than studying about the blood/oxygen process between the heart and lungs. My ears heard the rattle and shuffle

I love how you said 'convincing insincerity'

I would like to say thanks for your contributions to WBW last week. You guys have made it tough but I think the Eminent MGK wins WBW for the week! MGK, that is definitely something to Whinge about! And quite awkward I would think too. Anyway, this weeks Whinge Binge Wednesday will be about things that didnt go right for you. If you have something, please share it! My Whinge about something that didnt go right was the haircut I got yesterday. The dean at school told me to get a haircut or else if be getting a detention 2 hours Friday after school. I was surprised because I hardly ever get pulled up for something like this. Anyway, I go get my haircut and I have to take my glasses off while I'm doing it so that the hairdresser can cut mg hair properly. This makes my face and hair in the mirror a little bit blurry for me. When it was done, it looked find to me, but just wait til I got home with my glasses home and looked in the mirror! It was terrible! It was way too short! But at least the dean will be happy, and it'll grow to an acceptable level in a week I reckon. So your turn!

Oh I forgot to mention, Cortana isn't available in New Zealand! Waaaaahhhh, why do Americans have to get all the good stuff? A few have pulled a sneaky and changed their location to USA but Microsoft caught onto it and left a Cortana message on their PCs basically saying that 'we know you're not from USA' and then disabled itself altogether. But who needs Cortana anyway? It's only the better version of Siri. And a GLaDOS voice would have been much better...

Can I just say my opinion about this? I really want to have it, and my laptop which runs on Windows 7 home premium has the Get Windows 10 icon and window but Dad tried it for me and said it didn't work and notified me when it would. This was about a week or 2 ago. I have received no notification. But now that our home broadband has clicked over (we are on 80gb a month), I can attempt to download it myself at home. Hopefully it will work on my 5 or 6 year old laptop. I'm going to try it sometime soon

Can I just say that chickens ass ain't as gross as getting your mum to pus pop your back pimples. So I WIN this round! Yeeee haaaa! This week is going to be about flatting. This is convienient because of one of my recent blog posts on The Jordanation entitled: 'Jordan's guide to flatting in New Zealand.' Currently, I live with my parents and I'm not ready to flat yet, but I'd like for you to tell me the gross horrors of flatting before I do. I've heard other people talk about how messy their flat mate is. For example, lots of takeaway food goes into the bedroom but no rubbish ever comes out, sheets aren't changed for years and so they're as hard as cardboard, etc) But the gross thing I want to submit for EDT this week is that I heard about two flat mates coming home to their flat after a boozy party, drunk as skunks. During the night, one flat mate hears the other use the toilet and go back to bed. In the morning, the flatmate who heard the other going to the loo goes to the loo himself to relieve himself when low and behold, there's piss everywhere in the bathroom! On the floor, on the walls, on the seat, on the toilet paper....GROSS! So would you peeps care to share an awfully gross flatting experience you've had or have heard others have? Please don't! That would be cool!

Guys, I have come up with the basic outline that every retail assistant follows. Here it is! 1. Follow customers like they're the fish to your shark. And when he/she stops to look at something, get in their face and ask: 'How can I help you? Is there anything you are looking for?' 2. When behind the counter and the customer asks for an item, reply with: 'Sure we've got some out the back.' Then, go out into the break room, send 3 text messages to your friends, then come back out with a smile saying: 'Sorry we don't have any out back.' 3. Never forget to ask the fundamental and the prime go-to question for small talk: 'What are you up to for the rest of the day?' 4. Invite the customer when he/she is paying to give a coin donation to that child cancer foundation charity, sweeping your hand to the donation box. When the customer says: 'No just this thanks', mutter a curse under you breath such as 'bitch.' 5. When you get fired, leave with dignity, knowing that Jordan's guide to unemployment will soon be available.

1. If it can't be cooked in the microwave, then it's not worth cooking! 2. Assign job roster systems to the flat for each flatmate. "Hey, wasn't Joe supposed to clean the bathroom this week?" "Nah, he died remember? The stink of the unwashed clothes you forgot to wash last week killed him." "Oh, yeah." 3. Wear earplugs at night so that while you're in bed, the [thump] sound of [thump] your flatmate [thump] banging some girl [thump] and the adjacent wall [thump] doesn't interrupt [thump] your sleep. 4. When it's raining, dry your wet clothes by chucking them on the clothes horse to dry. Five days later — still wet! 5. Take every opportunity to shout out a party at your flat whenever the landlord is away over the weekend. Doesn't matter that the flat will be trashed and the landlord will kick you out, for the meantime, LET'S PARTY PUNK BITCHES!!! And that's Jordan's guide to New Zealand Flatting. A guide to the worst choice of living you could possibly make.

Ok so I win Whinge binge Wednesday this week which I don't mind doing. I want to Whinge about something everyone can agree on. School. It's a pile of hard work right there. Although I do suspect that it ain't gonna get easier in the real world. I just do not like getting pressured to get assignments done in short amounts of time, all at once. It does my head in. And having your friends strum your leg as if it were a guitar certainly doesn't help. And the thing I want to Whinge about also is biking home in the soaking rain. Not fun at all. Although it was rather enlightening to see one of the jokey teachers at my school, the big, bald and 'baker called to get his rolls back' Mr Doolan charging past and declaring with a silly grin on his face declare: "What a shit day!" in a goofy voice.

Well drpaladin wins EDT this week. Thank you for dedicated contributions to this forum. Now it's my turn to submit something for this week. Ok, what gross thing do you get others to you? Sometimes, my Mum picks and pops the pimples on my back which she loves doing. Seeing that puss ooze out into my oily back... Anyway, it's your turn. Gross us out!

Sooorrry for being late for Whinge binge Wednesday! I had stuff going on. Anyway, our winner last week was drpaladin because he's the only one who bothered to Whinge. Seriously, do people have nothing to Whinge about these days? Congrats to drpaladin anyhow. My Whinge this week is about my endeavor to upgrade to Windows 10 on my laptop. This morning, I told dad it was released yesterday and he's like: "It might have bugs, what happens after a year of having it free, blah, blah, blah!" And then later on in the evening, a single 2 minute news report swayed dads opinion and he practically whipped me to my laptop to upgrade it from W7 to W10, and i was getting excited at this point. And then he realized something important. He asked me how big the download was and I said it was 3Gb. He told me to stop. He stopped me because he got an email to say our broadband Internet data reached 80% of 80gb available per month. Now I'm the USA, I believe that people there find unlimited Internet data usage normal? Well in New Zealand, that's for the rich fellas. Internet is expensive in NZ, and so there are limited international data usage plans, and our family is on 80gb per month. Well we discovered we've used 64gb of that, for some mysterioua reason. The month turns over in August 12. All in all, it means I might have to wait another two weeks just so that I can have sufficient data left to download Windows 10. And I'm annoyed about that. So that's my Whinge! Share yours with us! Is your Whinge similar? Maybe it's about me being late for WBW? The whinges are endless...

I'm the same, I just can't eat something that potentially has traces of other people's saliva and germs on it

Eew that's a tad unhygienic

Hi everyone! Welcome to another round of Eews-day Tuesday! (Eew, eew) I have to admit, last weeks EDT was rather vulgar and grossed some of us out big time. But then again, I believe that's the idea... Anyway, our winner for last week has to go to Phantom, with me running up closely in second. Good job on grossing us out Phantom! This week is going to be food related! Especially when it comes to fast food. What gross fast food thing have you eaten? What gross thing have you seen at a fast food restaurant? Do tell us to win! This is gross: I heard an NZ news report that a McDonalds in Auckland had a mice infestation, and the mice were skuttling along the floor, on seats, and even in the children's playground. Imagine your child crawling along inside the tunnels and slides, with mice skuttling around, or even your child playing in the ball pool with mice and mice poo. Well done, Ronald McDonald. So now it's up to you? What could be worse than a mice infestation at McDonalds? You tell me.

Chapter 6.0 After the events of the previous test chamber, I didn't think that anything could get any worse. I was wrong of course. When I recovered from my brutal dive out of the falling apart chamber, I had got myself into the elevator which dropped me down to the next chamber. When I arrived, Siri's voice cut through the air. "I must apologise for that small mishap in that last test. This one should be much better." Small mishap!? I nearly died in a collapsing room full of deadly pools an

Last weeks Whinge Binge Wednesday (WBW) a winner is hard to pick but I'm gonna crown drpaladin with whinger of the week! Drew comes a close second. So I'm gonna kick off this weeks WBW with my own simple whinge: The school holidays are over and I have to go back to school. And I have mock exams in ten weeks. With a mountain of internal assessments to do and finish, not to mention the study for exams in all my other subjects. Aaauuuuughhhh!!!! So so that's my rather simple whinge. If you've got something that you're annoyed about, share it with us!

Ahahaha XD

Eeeeww! That is gross, Phantom!

Welcome to another week of Eews-day Tuesday! The winner for last week was......Cazpedroso! Thanks for those lovely poems and songs about vomiting food. Anyway, I'm going to move EDT to a place where EDT had never gone before: The bathroom. This week, tell us what gross thing you've done while in the bathroom. The most gruesome one with the most explicit description wins This is hard for me to tell but here we go. This is my submission this week. One time I hadn't gone no. 2s in quite a while and on this one day I REALLY had to go. Once I'd dropped my mates off at the pools, I finished the paperwork and was about to send them down the whirlpool when I couldn't. My mates were too big. Two big, stinkin poos lying at the bottom of the toilet bowl refused to go down, even after 4 more flush attempts. I tried to think of a solution. I remembered in chemistry that my teacher told me that large solid substances were more soluble if broken down. In relation to my predicament, a lightbulb sparked in my head. It was totally gross, and it made the whole thing much more distasteful, but I ended up reaching in and doing a bit of a splitsy-splitsy. I definitely and most thoroughly washed my hands afterwards! I doubt you could go grosser than this but dare to make us go eeewwww!!!

This was in exchange for my new profile pic that was too big to normally upload. He did it as you can tell. And no I don't have a crush on my guitar! VERY FUNNY!

Don't worry mate, I realized the other day that Sean has an e string where the D string is supposed to be.

For AJ, this is my guitar video so you'd better agree to upload my new profile pic for me! enjoy anyway. https://vimeo.com/133812660?utm_source=email&utm_medium=clip-transcode_complete-finished-20120100&utm_campaign=7701&email_id=Y2xpcF90cmFuc2NvZGVkfGZlODI2NmUwODcxMmI2ODRjZWNkZjdjMTRiNjc3YjQ3MjE3fDQxOTk3NzAwfDE0MzcxOTA0MzJ8NzcwMQ%3D%3D

Loving this story Ace! You have to update soon! A little portion I am confused however due to my lack of knowledge about higher education is about scholarships. What's so bad about them? You get paid to study! These are for the smarts at my high school. The setting is college though, right? For the first impression story anyway. Great job though and don't keep The Jordanator waiting.

I would've thrown my line trimmer to the ground in a rage! Make sure your line is nylon, btw.