RolandQ
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Interesting concept piece. Some ideas - to take for what free advice is worth - paint me a picture with your words, don't tell me - the mystery will be more mysterious. And flip the title: The Person Unknown. There's poetry in your words - let it flow.
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I was shaken awake. Trevor stood by the bed, desperation across his face. “Tro has gone.” “How can this be?” “I don’t know. Last night, all night, he made love to me as never before. He was most loving, yet somehow desperate. He exhausted me. I woke as he left the bed and only just saw him as he climbed out the window. I ran to the window to try to stop him, but he had descended the wall into darkness before I could even utter a word. “Try not to worry. He is of this place and perhaps
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Another day’s march brought us to a broad plain that stretched almost to the horizon. Far away mountains were visible but made indistinct by a band of low clouds. As we proceeded along the road we could see the source of the clouds, smoke rose from a fissure in the plain. What at a distance seemed little more than a crack in the otherwise featureless expanse was revealed to be a jagged canyon, the Deep Valley. Nearer yet, we discovered the entrance into the valley, a narrow gash leading down
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The woods became sparser as we continued on our journey, slowly giving way to marshy ground. Our footprints filled with water with each step. Water fowl flew overhead circling to greet Gar though treating the rest of our group with caution. Gar blossomed in the natural environment. Tro sought to emulate Gar’s movements as if deep instincts were aroused with this return to nature. We pressed on through the wetland having to pick our way among deep pools and flowing streams, seeking any highe
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Out next day’s journey brought us within sight of the City of Cliffs. It stood high above the valley, built to the edge of the sheer cliffs of its name. It was a formidable fortress, approachable only up a steep, jaggedly winding road. Defensive towers guarded a plaza at the gates. We resolved to wait until the following morning before mounting to the city and announcing our official mission, not wanting to venture up the precipitous entrance road in the gathering dusk. Our camp that night
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Our guards and attendants met us near the gate. Cambion walked with us from the King’s House, urging all speed and caution. The king’s health was ever more troubled. Our journey, on foot since beasts of burden were not found in our land, would take three days to the City of High Cliffs, our first destination. My heart was troubled with worry as we set out, leaving the walls that distinguished our home city behind. I already missed the security they offered. Trevor walked at my side our fo
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We all gathered at first light and upon entering the king’s chamber were greeted by a hearty ‘halloo’. “Your majesty is much recovered?” the physician asked not hiding his amazement. “Not so much recovered as filled with a kind of energy. We must be about our business quickly with the ambassador, lest he suspect that I am not well. I can sense my present liveliness is short-lived, as I think am I. Still, duty calls. Arrange for the audience immediately. Physician, help me to the Hall. Yo
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Gar and I returned from an early morning gambol through the wood to our terrace. Gar had been exceptionally affectionate, my body and heart glowed as a result of his attentions. We paused to embrace in the warmth of the early sun. Into our reverie, a small cough sought our attention. I lifted my glance over Gar’s shoulder to see a man in the shadows of the doorway. The man took a step into the light. “Devon?” “There is so much talk of you, dear Simon, I had to see for myself.” Devon’s t
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Gar and I settled into a domestic life together far different from what we had shared in the forest. We still spent our nights making love in the open air of my apartment’s terrace, but daytimes we spent apart, me in service to the king in the King’s House and Gar left to his own resources. My grandmother, Rosarch, visited with Gar each day and a few times took him on walks in the near neighborhood, but she reported that the noises, smells, and bustle of the city disturbed him. He would retu
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It had taken more than three days for my researches and while I had much yet to do, I felt I had a better understanding, tied with what I had learned from my time among the People of the Forest. I was more anxious than ever for Gar’s return and could no longer sit in the library reading. I walked to the gate, wanting to look to where he would come to the city. The sun was very bright and hot. Shimmering patches rose above the road that led to the gate. I stared out, hoping in my heart that
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In the early light of dawn, I woke to Gar sitting up howling. His anguished cry was matched by all the voices of the other People of the Forest. As I opened my mouth to ask Gar why he cried out, it hit me. The circlet around my neck felt as if it burned red hot. I clutched at it with my hands, but they were not burned. Gar touched my hands and said, “king.” “The king is in danger? Is that why you cried out?” Gar nodded. “The legends tell us that the circlet was worn as a memory of how t
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And so it went for ten days. Gar took me further into the forest, showing me scenes of delight I had never imagined. We swam in still pools, stood under high water falls, napped on rich beds of moss. He gave me every indication that he was charmed by me. I was certainly charmed by him. My injuries were soon forgotten. I grew stronger, nearly able to keep up with Gar as he gamboled through the trees and forest floor, though I suspect he slowed his pace for my sake. At times, he would grow
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I awoke realizing I wore no clothes, only the circlet remained. I was alone in some kind of giant nest fashioned from twigs and leaves, supported by larger branches all entwined. The surface I lay upon was soft and warm. Above me was open to the sky, overhung by the boughs of great trees. My body was stiff and sore, but I was able to move without too much discomfort. I made my way to the edge of the nest and looked over the side. I leapt back in terror, falling into the bottom of the nest.
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I had thought they were only a legend. The eldest of the Elders told tales of a people our people called upon in times of need. They were said to be close to the Earth, to hold the Earth’s secrets of healing and nature. They were said to be of great stature and strength while being by nature peace-loving, were capable of making terrifying war. They had a connection to the king who could call upon them on behalf of our people. They were his special protectors and upon the king’s death, would
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In another world, legends merge with reality.
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Chapter 11 - What Comes Next
RolandQ commented on RolandQ's story chapter in Chapter 11 - What Comes Next
I suppose I should get to work on the sequal. Thank you for the review. -
Chapter 22 - And they lived happily ever after
RolandQ commented on RolandQ's story chapter in Chapter 22 - And they lived happily ever after
I've entertained a sequal - I love these characters, too. -
I still cry at this and other scenes - and I wrote it. The muse and I were together on this one, for sure. I'm glad you appreciated bringing the thread of Tommy's 'contribution' to a close.
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"Granger was trying to appeal to that innate sense of performance art that Frenchmen seemed to possess." C'est vrai!
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It seemed as if the entire neighborhood was involved. In the midst of a gay neighborhood, there were few children. Some gay couples had begun adopting and there were a few ‘weekend children’ from divorced families, but Ben had come into Tommy and Thor’s life half grown. Eight short years later, Ben was graduating from high school and as a kind of community mascot, all the ‘uncles’ and neighbors participated in the excitement of the event. Each of them, Tommy, Thor, and Ben spent a fair amou
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I'm glad you're enjoying it. The only unhappy news is that we are near the end of the story - though there is always the possibility of a sequal. Thanks for the review.
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The next years flew by. Tommy became a tenured professor, on a track to head the department. Offers from other universities were considered and turned down in light of Thor’s commitments to his business with the gym, their friends and community and stability for Ben. Thor’s gym, now wholly taken over from Mike, prospered and became a noted athletic facility and cornerstone of the gay community. And Ben, Ben grew up in the loving care of Tommy, Thor and the Hopkins. If asked, Tommy could n
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You have very high standards for a story. I am pleased to have met them in some degree. 'Tommy - a Life' represents a very early work. I'd be interested in your observations on some of my later works, 'Wellington Napoleon Dowd', for instance. I don't think I've been less 'formal', but I have pursued a very different style.
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Tommy was working in his study when the bell for the street door rang. Hopkins had accompanied Mrs. Hopkins for some extensive shopping, so he knew that he would need to answer the intercom. “Yes?” “I’m Fran Smith, the mother of one of Ben’s friends from school.” “Of course, Ben has mentioned Ken. I’ll buzz you in. We’re on the top floor.” Tommy made a quick dash to the sitting room to make sure everything was in order. A glance showed that Hopkins had set things right before going out.
