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Cynus
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The story isn't over yet. Two more chapters to go, with plenty of room for death. Who says Daisuke's tricks are all spent, after all? As for Nobuyuki wanting out of the criminal lifestyle . . . I think he wants to see a more peaceful world, and he's approaching that in his own way more than anything else. Thank you for the review!
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Navigator - Demons Of The Crossroads
Cynus commented on Cynus's story chapter in Navigator - Demons Of The Crossroads
I wish I knew the answer to your first question, as it's something I've wondered as well. It didn't show up there with the posting of the first song or the second, so I really don't know. Maybe because it's still below 1000 total words for the story? One day, someone will write the music, I hope. I just need a musician in my life who will work with what I have. Honestly, I'd enjoy writing songs for the rest of my life as surely as I'd enjoy writing stories. -
Bitter Kiss of Life - Soul Pineapple
Cynus commented on Cynus's story chapter in Bitter Kiss of Life - Soul Pineapple
Hah! If I could compose music or sing, I'd already be on YouTube with these. Maybe I'll find a guy who can and share one of those kisses with them? Thank you for the review! -
Verse 1: Cold winter’s night, the sun was fallen God knows it wasn’t easy Must’ve been some fight, to bring him callin’ To the lonely road out of town. His lady at his side, he took up the fight They must’ve thought him crazy, But he hitched a ride, out into the light The navigator wouldn’t be kept down. Chorus: ‘Cause there’s no rest for the wicked, No home to call his own. No there’s no rest for the wicked, He’s out there all alone. Been to a thousand places Seen many friendly faces But the
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I'm glad you got a chance to catch up on the cliffhanger. Don't worry, I'm not going to kill anyone in this scene . . . Yet. Thank you for the review!
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Down in the depths, my soul wanders and waits, Aching and searching, and tempting the fates. I’ve long held myself back, From the things that I lack, Fearing my memories would come true again, That anger and pain would return as my friend, And leave my soul bitterly cursing my state. The bitter kiss of life, Doesn’t seem bitter at all, When your lips meet mine. The sweet kiss of life, Doesn’t compare at all, When our bodies entwine. I never suspected I would feel this way now,
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Each of my non-fantasy stories are all set in my own version of the real world. They all play out in their own corners, but they're still connected in a way. One of these ways is music. This is a collection of songs I've written for different musical artists in my literary world. Each chapter will be one song, title first and artist second. Enjoy!
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Masahiro gave the questioning over to Nobuyuki not because he wanted Daisuke tortured, but because he couldn't bring himself to do it, and thought Nobuyuki might feel the need to expend some of his pent-up negative emotions by doing it. The fact that Nobuyuki didn't torture Daisuke will resonate with Masahiro, and show him what kind of man his son will become. I look forward to reading your reaction to chapter 22, the second to last chapter in the story. It's where the final loose ends will all be brought together, and the final image of the story will emerge. Hopefully you'll love it as much as I do. Thank you for the review!
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Masahiro is a better father than I think most would give him credit for. He genuinely cares about his family, but his family exists within the Yakuza culture, and therefore he uses that structure to influence his "children". He'd find a way to support Nobuyuki, no matter the cost to himself, provided Nobuyuki were honest with him. Thank you for the review!
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Nice observations on Daisuke's ego. I honestly hadn't thought of it that way, but then again, I probably wrote it that way subconsciously. This is one of the reasons I value feedback so much, because it gives me insights into my writing I would have never noticed on my own. Masahiro never wanted to kill Daisuke, not really. He considered Daisuke as much of his son as he considers Nobuyuki, but then Daisuke betrayed him. Wallowing in that grief, Masahiro did not want any more violence that day, which led him to give Katsumi a way out.
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Nobuyuki grunted with effort as he repositioned his shoulder, setting it back in the socket and grimacing as the level of pain shifted. His shoulder would heal properly now, but he’d still have to be careful to avoid using that shoulder as much as possible. The ankle would have to be wrapped as soon as he arrived home as well. It was clearly sprained, albeit mildly. But at least he wasn’t dead, and neither were his friends. Vladimir seemed to be doing as well as could be expected, and t
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Dante's uncle and brothers certainly made good time, didn't they? Masahiro certainly planned well in allying with the Italians, or we'd likely have a dead Viktor, Nobu, and Vladimir. Dante, of course, would have flown into a mad rage and tried to kill Daisuke, thereby adding his own death to the count. The mob connections go deeper than imaginable, but I'll just leave that point there. Daisuke's in for a rude awakening! Thank you, as always, for the review.
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I'm glad you didn't skip ahead. Some of the best parts for me while writing this were the emotions of those watching, on the edge of their seat as they waited to see who the victor would be. Dante's presence in this chapter is somewhat subtle, because the entire time he's trying to orchestrate Viktor and then Nobuyuki's rescue from Daisuke, while the others all take a more active role. I always wonder what other people notice, because sometimes they mention things I didn't even know I'd written! Vladimir earns some major points here, though. But will he be all right? Thank you for the review!
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Saweeet!!! I love it when my chapters play music for my readers. Hopefully this means people will hold cliffhangers against me less often in the future? Nah . . . Thank you for the review!
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Thanks, Onim. I'm grateful for the review, and the compliments. I worried a bit about starting this chapter with Vladimir, if only because I thought people might be angry with me for not directly addressing the cliffhanger immediately. I'm glad it worked out for at least a few of you. Thanks for the review!
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Vladimir watched his brother leave hand in hand with Nobuyuki and felt a pang of sadness travel through him. He wasn’t entirely certain why, but it almost felt like he was losing his brother. There didn’t seem to be any rationale behind it, but he watched them disappear around the corner at the end of the street and felt immediately afraid. “What’s wrong, Vladi?” Dimitry asked as he slid up next to his boyfriend and wrapped his arm around Vladimir’s waist. “I think I should go
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I would have never been able to tell this was from a prompt. It seems like the beginning of a larger piece, should you ever wish to explore it. Fantastic job.
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Thanks! I like it when I make a man speechless. I'm truly grateful for the compliment, tim!
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What can I say? Viktor is the love interest of the protagonist. It's his duty to be compromised and fulfill the cliche! I can't wait for you to see how everything turns out for them. There's so much that happens in chapter 20 . . . and then chapter 21 and 22 . . . This is the true beginning of the end of the story, and we're just getting started on tying up the loose ends. Let me know if I miss any. (There's one I did miss, but that's really more about the sequel than anything) I'm glad you liked the mobster party. I really enjoyed writing that part. Especially since it's really the first time in the story where Vladimir and Nobuyuki truly connect, at least in my opinion. Thanks for the review!
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Katsumi does seem a little untrustworthy, doesn't she? I've always wanted to be good at action scenes, so I appreciate the compliment. This novel is now my longest novel, but long before this one, I wrote a (as of yet unreleased) fantasy novel with plenty of action in it. Unfortunately, several of my editors told me, the action was confusing in that story. I still long to rewrite it, and possibly will sometime soon, but it's nice to know I've improved. Hopefully that means that story is just around the corner for me. Thanks for the review!
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And hopefully you'll find it every bit as balanced as it continues. There are a total of 23 chapters in this story, counting the epilogue, so we're approaching the end now. They've come so far, and so much has changed. Will things work out for them, or will they fall victim to the vengeance now out to get them? I'm glad you noticed the Sake. I think you're the first person to do so. Stay tuned, and you'll find out why it's important. This is the first time I've said this, though I'll probably go post it in the forum as a teaser, but . . . not all the "good" guys win in the end. There's a lot more to happen, and some of it will be downright nasty. Hope you enjoy the rest of it! Thank you for the review!
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Or, could Viktor go the way of a number of my characters in other works . . . (Interpret that as you will) Isn't that the way things go sometimes, though? When everything seems to be going well, disaster strikes. Is Daisuke a tsunami, a hurricane, or a storm which only promises destruction and doesn't deliver? And may God help Daisuke's soul should he actually harm Viktor, for hell hath no fury like a lover's scorn. (My favorite way to adjust that saying) Thank you, as always, for reading and reviewing!
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I'm glad you liked it this much. I'm hoping you'll like chapter 20 just as much, as it will certainly do it's part in answering those pins and needles. While I wouldn't call this my favorite chapter (As that was 17), I do consider this one of the most important chapters in the story, since it's the beginning of the true conflict between Nobuyuki and Daisuke, which we've been building up to this whole time. If it's putting you on edge, it's doing its job. Thank you for reading and reviewing!
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Nobuyuki paced the room outside of Masahiro’s bedchamber. Dr. Yamaoka was inside, changing Masahiro’s bandages and giving him a thorough checkup, and Nobuyuki had decided to give them privacy. He’d been keeping an almost constant vigil over his father’s side, fearing that Daisuke might sneak back into the hotel somehow and attempt to kill him. Katsumi had been present nearly the entire time as well, but Nobuyuki didn’t trust even her to be alone with him. Although he’d considered her li
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I wonder if you're right, too. I honestly wasn't trying to hide it very well, because this story is more about the characters figuring out who did it and why than about the reader having to guess. I didn't want to turn this into a mystery novel, after all. Intrigue is something I'm trying to build in most of my stories, but mystery is a struggle for me to write. One of my earliest attempts at a novel was a mystery fantasy story, and it simply didn't work. Daisuke definitely underestimated Masahiro. The question is, did it matter in the end? Thank you for the review!
