Hunter Thomson

Hello Rec; I admit that these particular concepts were poorly researched by me, and for that I apologize. With regards to Thanksgiving, do you happen to know the history behind why it's on a Thursday? I'm on the Canadian side of the border, and we have ours on a Sunday, so it'd technically be the Monday that most of us get off as a statutory holiday. With regards to the geography, I'll keep that in mind for future chapters, particularly as the story moves into the Winter months. I assumed that there wouldn't be any difference in weather patterns once you cross the Cascades. I should know better, having crossed those mountains and knowing that the weather patterns differ. As a history and geography teacher, I apologize for the lapse in factual information. They're unforgivable, and future chapters will take the proper climate information into consideration.

Devin's biggest problem, as you said, is that he's very focused on what other people think of him or perceive him to be, and there's much less consideration given to the fact that Devin's actions do have consequences. Things will begin to resolve themselves somewhat, even immature people have to grow up and figure out what's happening. But it's going to be a slow, growing process. Devin is definitely a bit messed up from the whole ordeal with Sean. Anyone would be. Those are manifesting in interesting ways, and I don't think Devin even realizes what is causing it. That's dangerous, it means he can't fix it, and it's going to keep festering and making things worse in his life until he does deal with it.

Bryce is certainly an interesting character, and his interactions with Devin are going to be something to think about. We never really established what it is that Bryce wants, and a lot of the hints that I've left behind are things that are too ambiguous to say for certain what motivates Bryce. Bryce likes things casual, he likes things that don't get too deep or too serious. Look at how he's always acting at the baseball practices or even on the first day. It's casual. Vincente is a bit more interesting. It's clear they didn't have much of a connection before, but they also seem to have had each other's interests at heart. The way Vincente goes about it is more patronizing, so it's hard to see how they might get along now that Vincente saw what he did. They live together, so he won't totally fade away, it's too late in the semester to request a transfer. Thank you, I'm hoping to keep the story as complex and intricate as real life, so I'm glad to hear that's working for the story right now.

Hello Lux; Thank you for the detailed review. Devin most certainly fucked up. He's got all these people that were supportive of him or were at least there for him to rely on, and all of them are upset with him for some reason or another. We've all been there, and it's a low feeling to be sure. What will be interested is how Devin rebounds from that. I'm glad you appreciate how I'm trying to work Devin's internal dynamics. It's a tough thing because I never had that happen in my own life. I already lived in the big city, and I commuted so I had much less of an adjustment period. Having said that, there's always a big change. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. One thing is pretty clear. Devin has to start figuring out who he is and what it is he really wants. He's letting people's perceptions of him colour his judgment. He's obsessed with how people think of him, looking back at The Last Out, that's how he was too. Part of that is because he's still mostly closeted, but it's beginning to make things hard for him.

The trip back to Walla Walla was spent in absolute silence, at least for the first part of the trip until we got onto the highway itself. I didn’t say a word to Dad on the way back to school, even though there was lots that he and I could be talking about. I knew that I should probably say something in order to avoid the questions about what was bothering me, but nothing really mattered since I completely screwed things up with Alex. I could accept that he was upset, I’d probably be mad too if t

Dear ColumbusGuy; I apologize for the lateness of my reply. I thought I had left a reply to your review last night, but I appear to have been mistaken. That's very interesting that you see the parallels between Sean and Devin, I think people forget that at one point long ago, they were friends. The two are driven by many of the same things, which may have been why they were connected before. I'm thinking because there's so much interest in Alex, and because his storyline is otherwise going to fall into the background, I may create a spinoff series that focuses on him and his life. I actually think it's pretty interesting to me that Alex is my more popular character, even though he gets comparatively less 'screen' time than a lot of my other characters. I doubt it'd take on the same sort of format, but it's something I'm looking into. I hear what you're saying about Alex's story being part of Devin's make-up, but I think there's interest enough in Alex that I can flesh him out much more in a full companion story. More is definitely coming, I'll be trying to post every week, which may be delayed once I get Alex's Tale going.

25 on my desktop. It's really hard to see some of the minute changes, especially since the colours aren't uniform on some of the levels. Edit: Best was 28, but I blinked after each screen to refresh my eyes.

David is broken. It's completely understandable, considering everything that's happened to him over the last three months. Almost everything he's believed in has been shattered or taken away from him in some way, and he's been almost entirely on his own to put himself back together. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens now that most of the negative elements have been taken out of his life, and he now has a chance to see exactly how things are without anyone else distorting his views. David has always had other people pushing him to be whatever they think he should be.

Very well done Albert, this is well-earned. I look forward to adding your stories to my reading list

Dear ColumbusGuy; Thank you for your review, I'm glad to hear you had a read through my first literary attempt . Devin has definitely had a tough end of the school year. Historically, this story is set in 2012. Even though it's very recent history, attitudes were still different then than they are now regarding LGBTQ rights and acceptance, so you're right that Principal Barrett did what she could, considering the nature of her school and the district. I think that Parker and Annabelle have the capacity to be seen as tragic figures. Both lost something very important to them and have no real understanding of why it happened. Adding onto it, they learned about some of the secrets Sean was keeping from them, adding to the trauma. Be aware, I try to keep my story somewhat realistic... in situations like these, there aren't always happy endings. Thanks for the read and review!

This won't end well. The original has a cult fellowship that won't appreciate this new spin.

There's so many unhealthy relationships here. But I think that's normal. The characters are young, and for many of them this is their first real relationships. It's interesting to me how David and Alex can see how bad the relationship is between Erik and Twoey, but David can't see how toxic and controlling his own relationship is. Maybe because Alex isn't being as fundamentally blunt about it, and she's not trying to be exclusionary towards anyone. And let's make no mistake here, that relationship between Erik and Twoey IS toxic. This is more than just being protective of bae, this is downright exclusionary and it's a sign of abuse. I work with kids in situations like these, and I know what happens to them. This is not something that's going to be fun for most of us to read, I don't think. I'm hoping for the best for Twoey, but I'm expecting the worst... hopefully David figures himself out before then and can save the day.

“What took you so long?” I’m looking up at the night sky, not really expecting an answer. Its dark out, and the stars are shining brightly up above us. Not so bright as to illuminate us; we’re laying on a blanket, staring up at the night sky. My right arm inching its way towards your left. I’m hoping for an answer, but I’m terrified at what you’re going to say. How do you answer a question like that without saying something that totally changes a relationship? Turning over, I’m not even remot

The thing I do when I'm trying to create some prompts. At least I think it'll be more than one prompt eventually.

Hello Sandrewn. Thank you, and a Happy Victoria Day to you as well!

Comsie; Your characters are so very powerful, and sadly this could all too easily be a real life situation. I especially appreciate your portrayal of Sketch. I think many of us have been in that sort of similar situation, where we idolize someone and the object of our admiration is scornful, or worse they're totally ignorant of your existence. It can be lonely to have that kind of hated in your life, but Sketch always seemed so happy just to be near his idol. It was very sad, in a way, because you knew it wouldn't end well and secretly hoped it would anyway. I do think that the punishment was appropriate for the crime, and I was happy to watch Josh grow and learn to become more accepting of gay people. I don't know if this story needs to continue on, the vignette is perfect as it is. But if it does continue, I hope to see more of Josh and how he grows to accept and help the boy he guards.

Hello Robert, thank you for the review. You're right, Alex is normally very analytical, and this was a departure from his usual way of dealing with crises. Having said that, this is also the first time that Alex is the target of the crisis, instead of just the third-party bystander. It makes sense that he would react differently when he's being personally affected. A key point about Devin: This is the first time he's been living on his own. He normally has people like Alex and his Dad to talk to about things. Right now he doesn't. He can't talk to Alex because his issues are with Alex, and he can't talk to his father because there's still tension there regarding his being gay. Devin doesn't make good choices at the best of times (like all of the things with Sean), now he's in trouble and can't make better choices. Train tracks often run in parallel, and while they're currently off track now, train tracks do have a habit of rejoining each other at other junctures.

The relationship ending was sort of predictable though, at least in terms of the personalities present. Devin's never been good at directly addressing conflict until it's too late, and Alex is better at dealing with issues in his head and his books. Neither of them really has the relationship skills to properly address issues like this, and it led to an inevitable clash where neither party was able to communicate properly. I couldn't agree with you more; we should all consider the things we say and the things we do that cannot be taken back. It's obviously too late for the boys to apply that lesson right now, but perhaps with time they can. It's a good lesson to learn though. I feel it necessary, after four chapters of you making serious criticisms of my characters without substantive commentary, to defend my characters. The fact that he doesn't fit into your narrative of what a person should be does not preclude him from being a worthwhile character. People are flawed and make mistakes. How they overcome those mistakes is important. Were this a perfect world, my characters wouldn't have made the mistakes they did. Indeed, they wouldn't have made mistakes at all, this being a perfect world things would simply work for them. It'd be dreadfully boring to write a story where nothing goes wrong and these boys' first relationship is nothing but happiness and sunshine. It's not indicative of reality, no matter how much we wish it was. I don't write fairy tales. I write things that pass muster as realism. If you seek stories where the protagonist falls in love, gets married and lives happily ever after, those exist elsewhere on the GA archives. You called Devin self-centered, and a selfish bastard? He's human, and perhaps that's the problem. There's an expectation that Devin's going to become this selfless paragon of virtue to fulfill something that is needed to imply a happy ending. I don't guarantee happy endings. I'm beyond happy to have people read my work, and the fact that people are willing to comment inspires me to keep going. It shows you care and are moved enough to share your thoughts with me. Having said that, if your comments are to tell me how much you despise my characters or my plot devices, then I must question why you keep coming back. To shorten an already long response: Your point has been made. You get what you paid for.

Whoa, a review already! Good evening SD, thanks for the review . You're right that it's not going to work right now, the two principles involved are in different life-spaces. They're too different from one another to make things work right now. It's always a challenge to write things from Alex's perspective, I feel like he's very shy by nature, and while that normally plays to my writing style of being very introspective, Alex isn't always sure how to react when things move away from the books and back into real life. It was an ugly end to a relationship that could have ended more amicably. Once I get more settled, I'll think of a way to write an Alex story or two. His story is important to me, too.

I couldn’t understand what Devin was telling me. Of course, I understood the implications and the understanding that he had done something on campus, but I couldn’t understand why he would do so. That wasn’t who he was, and I have a hard time believing that he changed that much in just a few months, or that college had changed him that much. So the only two options left were that he was always like that and hid it from me, or that the other person was to blame and he was a victim of some kind. S

Happy birthday dear Cole. I hope your birthday has been full of good times and new warm memories.

Hello Oxala. I apologize for the lateness of my reply, things have been... undone, I suppose. Yes, Alex did get hurt, but as you said something had to give in the relationship, and Alex probably made things less painful for himself by ending things, instead of trying to put the pieces back together. Alex is a smart guy, he's going to be trying to rationalize and logically figure out why things happened the way they did. That doesn't work in relationships. Alex's biggest problem is that before he dated Devin, he was pretty much a quiet loner, but no one paid any attention to him because he faded into the background. Now he's Devin's ex-boyfriend, with everyone at school having been privy to the knowledge of what happened with Devin. So now he's alone, but he's lost his shield of anonymity. That's going to be the part that's hardest for Alex, and I truly don't know how I'm going to take this. I have ideas, but nothing conclusive yet. Thanks for reading

It's always the smart ones that get pushy in the end. I'm not too surprised Alex has got a sexual deviant streak in her, she always seemed a little too good in the school settings. Too polite and too smart, there had to be some major kink going on and it looks like we found it, she loves sex. It's too bad that David doesn't really love sex with her. I think Randy is right, David is sort of cute when he's clueless. It's painful to watch him try and make sense of his feelings, especially how he feels for Twoey. I mean, we all are thinking that he should come out right now, and that's easy for us to say because most of us ARE out, and most of us would want to date Twoey and have it be over and done with. I do hope/think that's how it's going to end... there's been too much tragedy around this friend group already for there to be more pain to end the story. There's something not right about Erik. The way he acts and talks to Twoey gets my hair on edge. David was right about him initially. I like the description of Erik as a wolf, but I don't think that's the whole things. He's a wolf, sure, but more than anything he's a predator, and Twoey is his unwitting prey. Something bad is going to happen there, and I'm already worried about how Twoey is going to handle having his heart broken a third time in such a short amount of time. I hope nothing drastic occurs.

Actually, it makes sense to me. You're telling a story here, and while there is sex in the story, it's not what Twoey is about (both the person and the story). You'd rather keep going to the action that you feel is important, and place less emphasis on the parts of the story that are not as important. There's nothing wrong with that, and it makes sense to me.

I'm posting this as a review for all of part three. This is going to be a convoluted stream of thought, so bear with me. First; well done. Your writing is flawless. Your characters are incredibly well developed and it's so very easy to draw a connection with them. It speaks to your skills as a writer and the incredible amount of detail you've created that you were able to make these characters and this story work so flawlessly. I'm still trying to determine if these events are fact or fiction, but in either case you have done an amazing job relating these stories and the different characters' perspectives on what's happening. I appreciate the use of various character points of view to create a truly all-encompassing view of Daleville. I'm interested to see what actually becomes of Johnson and the rest of his 'church'. I know that there's often wide latitude given to religious groups in rural areas because of how they can unify a community, but that's going to intersect pretty badly with the assault and everything else that David and his friends know about the situation. Second, and through no fault of your own, I'm shaking. One of the best, most important parts about truly good literature is that it can prompt people to change the way they think about things, and it can even give people a chance to explore things that they wouldn't otherwise get to think about. Specifically, I’m thinking of when David got beaten by those religious lunatics. I never really thought about it much, but that could have been me. Five years ago, I got involved in a political fight to provide explicit protections to queer staff and students in Burnaby school district. And by involved, I became one of the public faces of the campaign. My photo and name were used in multiple media outlets, and opposing us was a relatively well-organized group of religious conservatives. That big fight was in the summer and continued through the October election of that year. I did a lot of campaigning before and after the policy was passed, defending trustees who voted to protect queer people. A lot of that campaigning was in areas I knew were unsafe, where I didn’t know anyone, and I was often working alone. I always wore my curling jacket with my name on it back then. It would have been easy to find me and finish me off while I was doing my campaign trips. Reading about David’s assault got me seriously thinking about what could have happened, and I confess it’s unnerved me. I don’t think I’d have been able to recover as easily as David seems to be doing so far. So... yeah. Your writing was very evocative for me. Brought me back to places. That's not a bad thing, it means your writing is really connecting and it has personal meaning to your readers. I'm looking forward to your final section of Twoey. I... I hope Twoey and David do end up together. They need each other. But I'll find out as you keep writing.