MacGreg
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Everything posted by MacGreg
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Love the analogy of Travis gently moulding a skittish animal. There is some truth in that! There are twists and turns to come as we move along on this journey. Thanks again for your feedback. - Mac
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Hey Valkyrie, you're awesome with your editing suggestions. I made the change. :-) I'm glad that the pace and the "dance" between Ben and Travis is piquing your interest. That is definitely the intent. Next installment has been uploaded. Cheers - Mac
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Thanks, Jeff! You are right about the "two steps forward, one step back" theory...
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Hi Jeff, thanks for your feedback. I'm glad you're enjoying this story so far. It's been a great ride for me to write it. Cheers - Mac
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By Travis' description, Cooper Ranch had once been 10,000 acres strong. But due to drought, various financial mistakes through the generations, and his father’s untimely death from heart failure three years prior, the family acreage had dwindled. Most of the land had either been sold to neighboring ranches over the years or auctioned off by the bank to pay for outstanding debts. Now, the ranch encompassed a meager 2,000 acres along a stretch of county road in the foothills of the Sawatch Mountai
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Ben is shy, haha. No, but really, part of the vagueness, or the mystery, around this story is that Ben is resistant to face his innermost desires. I've written it in third-person limited to reflect some of his scattered thoughts. We discover what he discovers along this journey. I think you're an excellent writer, Tim, so I really appreciate your comments here. Cheers - Mac
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Hi Valkyrie, you're right, it's beautiful here. Glad you've been out for visits and I hope you get to more often! Thank you so much for reaching out in the comments. I'm glad this story has captured your interest. More to come! Cheers - Mac
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Hi droughtquake, thanks for the comment, I really appreciate it. I will say that Ben reveals a little more as we move along with the story... however, Travis' side remains quiet. I've written this in third-person limited, which narrows the viewpoint down to Ben. But mysteries will unravel themselves along the way. Cheers.
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Small world, Gary. It's a good name for a story... or a screenplay... or maybe the screenplay is based off of your story? :-) I'll have to go check it out. Thanks for your comments on Dissonance. The Resistol makes a good prop - something foreign, yet familiar to Ben.
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The mountain pass from Aspen to Buena Vista was a nail-biting, absurdly narrow road filled with switchbacks, twisting turns and unguarded drop-offs that bridged the distance between the two towns, reaching a dizzying height of over 12,000 feet at its highest point. Although typically closed for six months out of the year due to treacherous winter road conditions, Travis claimed that this year CDOT had deemed it passable three weeks ahead of schedule, and so they were forging through in his Dodge
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I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall, too, haha. Sometimes, I keep it a mystery even to myself. Keeps it interesting. Thanks for commenting and following along. Cheers.
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I do like to "show" rather than tell in my writing, you're right about that. It may drive some people crazy, because it forces them to continue reading in order to find anything out. A little mystery never hurt anyone. :-) I appreciate your comments and following along. Part two of this chapter posting soon.
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The staccato tap of intermittent knocking pulled Ben from the confines of a deep sleep. His head was filled to the brim with cotton. The thudding seemed a great distance away, as though buried within a dream within another dream. Reluctantly opening an eye to squint against the bright sunlight streaming in through a gap in the curtains, he tried to gain a sense of time and place. On the bedside table, the digital clock read 10:00am. Another knock resounded. “Ben!” a voice called out. B
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Thanks, Tim. I appreciate your feedback.
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Did you really lose 300 words?! I would have thrown my laptop across the room. Very sorry to hear it. I hope you can retrieve some of it. Thank you for taking the time to read and provide some feedback on Dissonance. Glad it was a distraction from the frustration.
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Valkyrie, thank you for the feedback and for the "chord" advice. I changed it! A second set of eyes always helps.
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Ben's late-night breakfast remained untouched, cold and disappointing. Pushing the plate aside, he made room for the numerous items that passed through his hands, waiting to be autographed. Ever the charmer, he smiled and looked enthused as he greeted and took photographs with no less than fifteen people, including Tracy, who insisted that his meal was “on the house” despite the fact that he hadn’t been able to take a single bite of it yet. During this pocket of time, the cowboy approached
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Instantly engaged with this first chapter. You write succinctly and honestly and describe believable characters and circumstances. I'm a little reminded of Peter Heller's "The Dog Stars". I've never been a big fan of post-apocalyptic or extreme dystopian future stories, but you've made your tale relatable and engaging. Great job.
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That's awesome that you've been to Aspen, Lisa. It's a great ski town, although a lot has changed over the years. Thanks for all of your kind words about the story. I appreciate the feedback. Cheers.
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Great to hear, thank you for sharing your thoughts, Mikiesboy. I will be posting part two soon. Cheers.
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Thanks, Gary. It is a start to a new journey for him. Cheers.
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Thank you for your kind words, Valkyrie!
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The milk run was icy and hard-packed. Skis crunched rhythmically against freshly-frozen powder as Ben descended the mountain, his mind pulsating with blood and adrenaline as he pushed on. As he skirted dangerously close around a column of blue spruce, branches flicked against his arm like fingers attempting to throw him off-balance, but he quickly righted himself and continued his rapid descent, hungry for the thrill. The brittle morning air stung his exposed cheeks and mouth. He was thankful fo
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Denial is a lonely path. Lack of honesty is divisive. And self-loathing is a destructive force that's difficult to overcome. 'Dissonance' is a tale that centers around Ben Mansfield and Travis Cooper: two characters from very different backgrounds who, after a chance meeting one night, must learn to face the discordant elements that have fractured their lives and prevented them from finding love and acceptance - especially within themselves.
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