D.K. Daniels

26th June 1991: Why does the magazine seem so, I don't know… alluring or exciting in a sense? I'm not sure what I see in it. I know how Carl uses his mag. I mean, about ten minutes ago, I pulled myself off to the pictures in the magazine, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I thought I would have felt… well… you know, extra excited about doing it, but I didn't. Instead, I just masturbated, got sleepy and decided that was all I was going to do. I didn't even get the satisfied feeling after

@weinerdog @chris191070 @VBlew - Thomas and Adam going to the cinema, the two boys bonding, I guess we'll have to see if Adam has second thoughts afterward. Its difficult to reject praise and love when people are wanting to show you compassion and interest. Adam might not now what to do with this affection, and believes it best to be friendly, and see where this friendship could go. Adam wants to keep his options opening, since the near future doesn't look clear. Thanks for reading and commenting.

24th June 1991: Okay, I have a couple of things to get off my chest today, and I'm not in the mood to be criticised if it's right or wrong. Firstly, I thought it through… I'll go to the film with Thomas just as friends. Well… I don't even know if he's hinting anything, but friends it is. I can at least give him that, right? I dropped by Carl's today. He seemed to be in a grumpy mood. I tried talking to him about what was on his mind, but he got grouchy at me. So, I'm like, "You se

🐶 - Ruff

Finding you voice among all the noise can be difficult, but that's what makes everybody individual and unique, their distinct voice. Sometimes it takes deep soul searching within yourself, learning to be comfortable with yourself before you find you voice. Only thing is, you have to be the one to want that change, nobody else will create it for you. Thanks for reading and commenting.

We all feel helpless and confused around the ones we are interested in getting to know. All it takes is a few uncomfortable, but embarrassing bravery to change you life for good.

My first love was also a long distance relationship that never lasted, it was sad at the time, but where I am now, I'm content and happy. Sometimes what we think maybe unfair maybe life way of setting us up for something even better. Thanks for reading and commenting.

@weinerdog & @chris191070 I always assumed that Thomas was another gay kid, probably going through the same things as Adam, but a little more sheltered and shy. They might make good friends, possibly a match in the sequel which is now being written, but is still very much in early development. Thomas was always just the kid that tags along, and from a distance he'd have a crush on Adam. I guess with time we'll see how their chemistry mixes, and if its a good match for a friend or something more for Adam. Thanks for reading and commenting again. I hope your week is going well.

I grew up in the city, Dublin was fast and busy compared to my later life. I've settled in the countryside now, almost 12 years, and I've enjoyed the relaxed pace much better. In the city you have the option of making and loosing friends fast, so there was always the opportunity to make new friends. Its still tough when you're not quiet sure of yourself as a person, let alone you sexuality. There were moments that I look back on fondly, where friends fooled around and what not and moments of intimacy were built upon with somebody i liked. There are moments I'm sure I've missed, and it would have been cool to have them as memories, but where my life is right now, I'm not sure I'd change anything. I'm happy with my partner and I don't tend to dwell too much on the past, its dangerous if you stay there too long reminiscing. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Everybody has those sweat memories, about trying to understand something that your crush enjoys. Most times for me it was to do with video games or sports, and since I never was sports originated, I gravitated toward games. Looking back, I did join attend some parties just to see crushes and for the most part endure them despite never liking social outings. I have much preferred a quiet evening with my head in a book. Thanks for reading.

22nd June 1991: I was in Thomas's bedroom today. Oddly, it is superbly clean, undeviatingly organised— down to the arrangement of the pencils on his working area. Every book spine on his shelves extruded perfectly with the neighbouring ones; it was unholy, ludicrously immaculate. Thomas sat on his bed while talking to me on the floor. That's where I choose to sit since I don't usually get to sit on carpeted surfaces at home, figuring we don’t have any. It was so plump and cushy under my ass

@chris191070, @weinerdog Sure sounds like a good day. Thomas seems happy about having the company, and though Adam might be a bit irked by the odd behaviour, maybe the two boys need each other, especially with Ross on a time crunch. Thomas might end up becoming a good friend in the future, and in rural Ireland in the 1990s, you needed friends. Erections as a teen, especially in front of your crush, yep, pretty much the epitome social suicide. Thanks for reading, hope youse have a lovely weekend.

21st June 1991: I can't help but feel guilty for stealing the porn magazine from the shop yesterday. I could have asked Carl if I could borrow his one. You know what, when I think of it, I don't think he'd relent. I hear these grades of collectables are incredibly valuable among people my age. I think Carl would be the type to protect his dirty little secret at all costs. So that is a no go. In other news, it was a warm day today. It has been the warmest day I've ever ex

@chris191070 @weinerdog Growing up, the temptation to have everything without consequences is an inherent lesson Adam has to learn. Hopefully, he'll be a loyal person, and not disappoint Ross. Maybe Adam just appreciates beauty from afar, but lets hope that's all Adam fantasies about. Regarding the magazine, its probably not a big issue, but in the 1990s, a still largely religious Ireland, shame can run deep. Especially when the number one person most parents went to for moral guidance for personal affairs was the priests. Thanks for reading, hope youse are having a lovely week.

20th June 1991: I did it; I did the unspeakable this morning. I jerked off to my best friend. I have no idea where the idea came from, but it seemed like a reasonable excuse to do it when I was horny this morning. Let me explain first, but don't judge, okay. Do you remember when I talked about the nudity magazine Carl showed me? Yeah... for some odd notion, that very magazine and its contents drifted around in my hormonal brain at 9 o'clock this morning. It came in fragments mostl

@chris191070 @VBlew @weinerdog We've all hid things from out parents growing up, but having something that could blow you world up, can be a terrifying situation. Even if his mother respected his privacy, Adam would still have that niggling question in the back of his mind, wondering if she did or not. Knowing most parents, I'd have to agree many would read it, just to make sure their kids are safe. I'm pretty sure my mother would have done the same, and I cringe at the thought of her knowing I kept a little diary of my own. It wasn't so much as diary, but more of a collection of rambles where I could jot down when I saw my crushes, and where I saw them. Being gay, in the closet and feeling totally alone is scary as is, but not knowing how your parents will react, the ones you truth and depend on can be even scarier. Thanks for reading.

18th June 1991: I saw it. The fanny, the muff, a pussy, the vag. I saw it. Right, so just calm down, I know it's not a big deal, but it's my first time to see one visually. Mind you, I didn't actually see one up close and personal, but from a magazine. I knew these sorts of things existed, but I never even saw one… well, until today, that is. I went around to Carl's after lunch; he had a… how should I say, a unique magazine? His dad was too busy working in the fields, and h

Sometimes, people express their desires in uncomfortable and shady ways. God knows, some shit I thought was perfectly normal when I was 13 would be socially unacceptable now. Thomas in my head means well, but his strange behaviour is what irks people. He's struggling with the same emotions that Adam is experiencing, but he's a bystander, and from Adams POV, he looks like a stalker. At the beginning, when Ross arrived, Adam was a little like Thomas, observing from the window, just being plain awkward in the general. Most of all, Thomas needs somebody he can confide in, and since he likes Adam, he's hoping it can be him, he's seeing the gay signs. If Thomas saw the boys doing anything, I'd genuinely feel that Thomas wouldn't be that type of person, being nasty for the sake of it. It doesn't fit his character, at least the way I perceived him. However, who knows, if he was desperate and needed drastic changes done on the fly, everybody is capable of something devious. Thanks reading. @chris191070 @weinerdog

16th June 1991: Today didn't pan out all that bad. You can say I killed two birds with one stone. No... I didn't kill any birds— relax. Like I planned out in my head last night, I went over to see Ross before Thomas. Ross was happy to see me, and he was charming, cute, and adorable. Awhh… He's perfect. I just had this weird realisation, but if you were to compare an adorable puppy to Ross, Ross is cuter than the pup. I know, I know, the thoughts are overwhelming...

Thomas does need friends, but more importantly he needs somebody he can confide in. Emotions can run hot at that age, so he have to wait and see if he makes those much needed friendships.

You might be on to something, about Thomas liking Adam. Surely Adam can't be the only gay in the village lol. I always imagined Thomas as a quiet kid when a group is around, but once he's comfortable around and person, and in a safe space, he just blossoms. I guess we'll have to wait and find out. Thanks for commenting and continuing to read.

15th June 1991: Not so great news. It's funny how my life seems to be on a high at the moment, then all of a sudden, my Mam rolls in and pulls the plug on all the fun I could be having. I was made to help out at the church. It was so boring; you have no idea. I'll never know why I was dragged into it, but I hope I am never lured again. At least the day was semi-okay. Thomas was there, and he is an altar boy, and was made help out too. Not that the two of us have much in common. The two of u

12th June 1991: Right, well, I'm still in the same predicament as I was a day ago. I just realised I missed yesterday... shit. I hate missing days; it feels like a part of me is forgotten or something. Nothing remarkable happened anyway, so let's just skip it and move on. Today, however, I went over to Eli’s. He seemed majorly happy to see me. I wasn't extraordinarily happy to see him, but I wanted to smooth things over. So, I asked him, and Eli actually came with me to meet up with R

Comicality was a source of inspiration for many, and one of the reasons I began my writing endeavour. I'm in shock over here, and never expected to read such a thing. He was so enthusiastic and full of life. Such a kind guy, caring and open once you got talking to him. Rest in peace my friend.

Comparing hand sizes, seeing how flexible you are, and attempting to lick your elbow, which is almost impossible to do unless you were born with an extra long tongue, these are all things we've done in our childhood. Glad I could plant that funny image lol. Thanks for reading.