Sebastian Bauer
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Everything posted by Sebastian Bauer
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Letter 84 1 May 2016 Dear C, What a beautiful day it's been today! The sun was shining all day and it was really warm. Do you go out at all these days? I hope you don't have to spend your days indoors anymore? I hope you get to enjoy the warm weather, fresh air. I was watching that stupid Britain Got Talent show last night and one married couple really got me. They performed a dance routine together and you could see the love they shared for one another. Simply beau
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Letter 83 30 April 2016 Dear C, Another guy committed suicide last night. Apparently it happened around 3 in the morning. He cut his throat - well that's what people have been saying anyway, but I know how everyone likes to exaggerate here. Whatever happened - he is no longer with us. He was in building 7. That's where they keep very old men and very young ones together. I hope he found peace wherever he might be right now. Life is such a moment. Such a thin rope for
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Letter 82 26 April 2016 Dear C, I woke up this morning and started to stare at my cell's door thinking that you were just about to walk in...! I don't know why. I know I dreamt of something last night, but I cannot remember what it was. The feeling was so intense though. I went to the gym this morning and it was insane. We did an hour on the bikes. It was good but crazy. Funny thing - this Jamaican guy called Jermaine sat next to my bike and he couldn't catch up with
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Letter 81 24 April 2016 Dear C, How is everything? London marathon took place today, I bet there was proper chaos in the city - as usual. You know that for the last 8 years I have been always working during that day and I absolutely hated it. Especially in my last place. Everybody panicked the entire day - especially all these "stars" at the front desk with Jo leading the way. I must say that when I look at all these women in high heels from my workplace I feel sorr
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Letter 80 23 April 2016 Dear C, I am writing this letter to you on this very, very cold (but sunny) Saturday evening. We are all locked up for the night and it's extremely quiet. No one is shouting, no one is banging against the door. This silence seems so loud now. I spoke to my mum the other day and she told me that you posted a new photo on your Facebook and your hair started to grow! How funny - in my previous letter I was talking about your hair and here you go. It'
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Letter 79 (I knew he was gay, but I guess he was testing waters)
Sebastian Bauer posted new chapter in 300 Letters
Letter 79 16 April 2016 Dear C, It is now 8.30 in the evening and I am so tired. Half of my day today I spent at the gym. I lost another kilo. I am so happy it is going well. Hard work, but it's worth it. After they locked us up for the night (at 6 pm) I watched this movie we watched once together: "One Day". Such a tragic and heart-warming film - all at the same time. And I don't know why, as I was watching it I thought of your hair. Has it grown back yet? And -
Letter 78 14 April 2016 Dear C, It's quite unusual for me to be writing a letter to you in the morning, but it's 10.30 am now and I just got back from the gym. I am properly tired but good tired. Last night I had another weird dream and I couldn't shake it off of my mind. I wanted to tell you all about it - as much as I remember hence I am writing in the morning. That dream was really twisted. Actually no, it wasn't twisted. It was totally fucked up. I was out of
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Letter 77 11 April 2016 Dear C, The weather is getting warmer these days. I tend to spend more time on the yard, sometimes the sun is warm enough to sit on the bench and enjoy it. I close my eyes and dismiss the noise that all these people around me make. I disappear from here. I received another gym certificate - my third one. It means I have lost 15kg so far. Not bad! I still want to lose some, long way to go. I wonder if you could see the difference if you sa
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Letter 76 10 April 2016 Dear C, I wasn't going to write to you today, but I need to let go off my feelings somehow. Lucia came to see me yesterday. When I walked into the visiting hall she was sitting there already waiting for me. The moment she saw me she started to cry. It broke my heart. I was trying so fucking hard not to burst in tears but I couldn't help it. It was so, so, so good to see her again. We talked about so many things, people we know. We tal
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Letter 75 8 April 2016 Dear C, I have been listening to that stupid prison radio on TV. It's all very "gangsta". Each day they have an hour where they read wishes from families, friends and loved ones they wrote to prisoners across the country. I started listening to it and it really made me upset. People who committed the worst crimes can still be forgiven and be getting messages of love, yet I am stuck here with nothing even though I didn't do anything. I wonder if
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Letter 74 7 April 2016 Dear C, I have been painting a lot recently. The moment they lock us up at 6 pm - I get my brushes and paints out and I sink in to the world of colours. It's so liberating. And I am using the cheapest art tools possible, so I wonder what kind of colours I could achieve using something more decent. I finished the painting of the old man. I painted an old men sitting on a park bench. As a kid I remember seeing a lot of older men sitt
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Letter 73 6 April 2016 Dear C, I have just woken up. Everything today is cancelled. All education courses, all work, all movement. It's due to staff training. It also means we will be locked up in our cells for the entire day and night. I don't really mind, to be honest. Sometimes less of these people I see the better. As long as my demons won't come to visit me here in my cell - I'm ok. I can spend the entire day painting. So it's the first time that I am wri
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Letter 72 1 April 2016 Dear C, I must say this week have flown by which is a good thing.I was assigned to level 2 of music production classes today. I'm glad that I can be more creative. I shall start on Monday. You know, prison is like a separate country. I have been observing and learning how things work here. It's not necessary the knowledge I planned to ever gain, but you can't change your destiny.You can modify it a bit, but you can never change it for sure. Guards are
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Letter 71 29 March 2016 Dear C, Today is what could have been our 3rd anniversary together. Doesn't time just fly? I know it doesn't matter anymore, but I couldn't stop myself from mentioning this. Maybe next year I will not even notice it. I hope. I had this surreal dream last night. Your sister and I were in the kitchen making you breakfast. Full English. You were somewhere upstairs. Once it was ready I went to your room and as I walked in you were putting the r
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Letter 70 25 March 2016 Dear C, So it happened. I jogged on the yard today. Oh my God! DJ made me jog almost 2 km! I thought I would die. Each lap around the yard is about 250 meters long.I did 2 in one go first and thought I would collapse. Then I rested for like 5 minutes and had to jog 2 more. DJ is cruel! Then somehow he forced me to do 4 more! How did I do it - I don't know. All I know now is that I cannot walk. Everything hurts.And let me tell you somethin
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Letter 69 (Big Jamaican Guy)
Sebastian Bauer commented on Sebastian Bauer's story chapter in Letter 69 (Big Jamaican Guy)
Thank you kindly. SB -
Letter 69 22 March 2016 Dear C, Tonight for the very first time since I've been here I saw the sky full of stars. It was amazing! I had to press my head really hard against my tiny window, but I saw it. I took a picture of it in my head. Gym was hectic today. We had various exercises and we had to repeat them with shorter breaks in between. Tony, one of the guys there is really funny. He has been in prison for some time, but is looking to his parole soon. They
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Letter 68 20 March 2016 Dear C, It hasn't been easy. I am still under the influence of your email. Been trying to occupy my mind with anything possible here, but your harsh words are ringing in my stupid head.I drafted the reply letter to you, I'll have a read tomorrow again and I will post it to you. At my music production class I wasn't able to focus on anything. I have been trying to create something out of nothing. I don't even know, if it makes sense. I finished working on a
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Letter 67 18 March 2016 Dear C, A few days ago I received your email telling me you won't be coming to see me anytime soon as you are still too weak to travel here. I totally understand this babe... I don't know why I called you babe. I'm sorry. And I am sorry you are feeling weak. I wish you could just recover as soon as possible. And have all of this behind you. Reading your email made me upset. It's funny how your ice cold words can make my heart crack and bleed. T
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11 March 2016 Dear C, Today Kasia came to visit me. It was so nice to see her again. The visiting hall was half empty and everything was well organized - officers promptly got us all inside to see the visitors. When Kasia saw me, she was in a bit of a shock because of my weight loss. She said that I started to remind her the guy she remembered from my cruise ship days. It was good to hear it. You know, when I put my visit clothes on (yes, we have to wear special
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10 March 2016 Dear C, So you came to visit me...! It was so nerve wracking, but I didn't care. The whole experience was just so surreal.I remember walking into the visiting hall where you sat there already. They gave you the table by the entrance door so I had to walk all the way through the rows of tables and chairs to get to you.I felt like my heart would jump out. It was beating so fast that I could almost hear it. As I finally approached your table, I did not
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Thank you Q, Yes, it isn't easy as it brings me back to that place each time I re-type a letter. But I want to tell my story. I don't think C knows anything about my letters and even if he knew he wouldn't care - that's what I think. Question: would you find better if I publish letters more frequently? I am trying to do so on every Sunday, sometimes I am late. I do, however publish regularly on my blog. Regards, S
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6 March 2016 Dear C, I have been reading a book I took from the library a week ago and it has kept me mesmerized. It's about finding the balance. The author is an American professor who studied the impact of electromagnetic fields on human beings. He says that our spirits (souls) resonate with everything that has ever happened in our lives and that has a very strong connection with our loved ones. As well as those who have already gone. This author has been runni
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3 March 2016 Dear C, So Beyonce and I are now friends. That's according to the dream I had last night.It was so surreal yet I felt like I have known this woman all my life. Not only this - her husband Jay-Z was there too. And their daughter. One big happy family. And you know that I can't stand Jay-Z! They all came to visit me in Poland in my grandma's house. We sat in the kitchen drinking tea (I don't even like tea!). Jay-Z was playing with his daughter and Beyo
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27 February 2016 Dear C, I am sending you all the visit documents tomorrow. I have changed the tone of my letter to you. DJ advised me not to discourage you from visiting me. That I should allow you to see me here and hope for the best, but expect the worst. I guess I should let you come and talk to me about anything you want. And if you start hurting me I can always leave the visiting hall. I hope I won't have to... I got another letter from my mum and she also enc
