Will Hawkins

I am pleased to see that I was not the only one worried about the mugging, and in this case, a professional also agreed with my opinion. Once again my worry bump is itching, this time about the large payment for research. Well, we will see.

I am a little bit leery of Oskar's 'bond' to Will. He was looking for a performer for his new porno film that spoke English and the set-to about the thieves was just a little too pat.

Alright, that was one I did not have to translate, but as far as Oskar taking English lessons is concerned, it seems that his English is certainly good enough for a gay porno film as the majority of the dialog in those is "Oh, F--k" in any case and that is probably the same in Rothenian because it works in any of the languages I have heard used in the films. So as far my watching porno films is concerned, that, plus grunts and screams of ecstasy is all the dialog necessary as the "getting your pants off' dialog at the opening of the film is mostly bulls==t anyway. The scripts for these films religiously follow a pattern; 2-3 minutes of dialog, 8 mins of oral, then 10 mins of anal, the 'money shot' (ejaculation), followed by the legal statement about everybody being over 18 years of age, then the ad for the website. No. I do not write scripts for gay porn, but maybe I could!

Split beer mats = Spilt beer mats = coasters Note: from time-to-time I will endeavor to translate British into American just to save the reader from having to look it up. If I make an error, I hope my Continental friends will correct me. Ahoi = 'ahoy' a navy term for 'hey or hello' hold the 'rails' = banister, handrail As far as the attack by the Albanians as a plan to meet Will... strong possibility as Oskar seems to have selected Will to appear with him in his next pornographic film. We will see.

Oh, oh, cliffhanger! Just a minor one, but what will Will face tonight? It looks like Harry has been properly put in his place so that is sorted as the Brits say. I am reading too many GA stories written by Brits and Aussies of late and some of their word usages are rubbing off on me. Pretty soon I will be ending every sentence with 'eh' like a Canadian or spelling with an 'ou'.

Yes, after all the story is named after Oskar so he is bound to have a big part in it... and I don't think Will would object to meeting him! And Oskar must be taking English lessons for a reason.

Beautiful description of the 'deflowering'. The process can be painful to a certain extent as it was here, but the ecstasy of the result is worth the cost. Will will find that as each opportunity arises the painful period diminishes in both severity and length. He will learn to relax eventually, and in not too many tries either, and his enjoyment will always spike with proper handling. Deflowering by a ruffian or an inexperienced bottom can be extremely painful and totally negative. Will is fortunate to be in the hands of a caring person.

Intriguing start, I'll be an interested reader though I may not comment every chapter. I know that an author appreciates comments, especially positive ones, but, because I am an old troll, I feel it is my place in Readerland to make stylistic negative comments from time-to-time and some authors decline to accept them in the sense they are put forth, as a help, not criticism and so react negatively to me. I don't make comments to denigrate or embarrass but to aid, based on many -- too many really -- years of teaching in College level courses, not in English composition, but a similar field.

Yeppers, the supernatural really leaves me cold too, vampires and werewolves are sort of unnecessary in this world -- we have enough horrible real people without resorting to those. I love animals as companions or, as in this story, a part of the action. I was waiting all through the later chapters for the wild cat to take a chunk out of a bad guy and she did that in the end. I cannot emphasize enough the superior quality of your writing, even in this mystery genre which you said was so new to you, you handled the characterizations of both good and bad guys like a real pro and I am pleased to see that the story has a five-star award in your author listings, it is well deserved. Even though you mislead me all through the chapters, or maybe because you did mislead me that long, I feel that congrat-ulations are well earned. One small detail -- you set off internal thoughts of the characters with single quotes, I feel that they might also be put in a slightly different typeface, perhaps italics, single quotes are often skipped over by the eye of the reader. Some authors have trouble using 'he said', 'she said' tags in dialog, feeling that they are too repetitive, but as a reader, I can report that the eye skips over these too. They blend in with the dialog to the point that the author need not worry about leaving them in, and sometimes they are necessary to make it clear, for instance where there are three or more characters present, just who is doing the speaking. As an old troll, I feel that homophones are a writer's greatest bug-a-boo. 'There' instead of 'their' for example. The presence of a homophone in a paragraph does usually mean that the author has used a "Spell Check" program like Grammarly to look for spelling errors, but has not done a final Beta read himself. In English composition, I feel punctuation is the biggest quagmire for an author, to use, or not to use a certain comma. It is something I try never to comment upon, as I am so poor at it myself. At any rate, best wishes in your future writing efforts, you are a welcome addition, as far as I am concerned, to GA.

I am usually a real cynic about mystery stories as I feel they are more a product of the author's mind than of his heart, but the opposite is true of this one. Oh, it shows the twists and turns you would expect for a mystery, but there is a great deal of heart here also. Congratulations on a beautifully handled tale. all in all a superior product. One of a very few to which I would award five stars.

I told you I was always wrong in my guesses.

As a former Seattle resident, once in Woodlawn, a nothing residential development, then again in suburban Kent, I admire your choice of cities. I have been fighting on Quorra with questioners who are convinced that it rains 24\7 in Seattle -- not true. Many cloudy days, but no significant rainstorms. Zampa lying on her back and allowing her belly to be rubbed is a sign of real love. Wild animals know that their belly is the most defenseless portion of their anatomy and to expose it to a prime predator like a man is a sign of deep trust and affection. Nearly every wild animal recognizes mankind as an apex predator.

Okay, opinion: Robin is the RE agent at the bank that sold Corbin his property so she knows how to find him, she may also be the person who arranged for Corbin to purchase the loan on the Coffee House. Travis is a policeman and would investigate Corbin's death and would investigate Corbin's death and therefore be able to cover up Stefano's participation. The sausage shown for the breakfast recipe is the wrong kind. Brits would call the correct sausage seasoned pork mince perhaps and it would be crumbled and fried with added flour and milk for thickening, with a little salt and pepper for seasoning The biscuits would be similar to British scones, flour, butter, salt, baking powder, and milk, mixed, rolled out flat about one inch thick, cut with a cookie cutter -- about 3 inches diameter and baked until lightly browned on top, To serve, split the scone and pour the sausage\gravy mixture on top, a breakfast to die for, just ask any southern boy, his momma probably mase them every week for Sunday breakfast. The biscuits\scones can also be served buttered with what my momma called Second Spread, usually jam, jelly, or honey.

My take and I have been known to be so wrong many times in the past is that Luca is the capo of a family that is fighting Stefano's family and recognizes the opportunity to use Corbin as bait to bring a high ranking member of the opposition family out into the open so it can be decimated. This opinion, totally unfounded is because competing families are often at war with one another and are not opposed to using any means available to gain an advantage, just so long as it does not reflect back on them.

I want Corbin to talk more to the 'new family in town' to decide if they are truly Italian or Sicilian, please. So far Stefano does not seem interested in Hailey. That is good for Corbin.

I am looking forward to the green eggs -- do you have any ham? Yes, the Italiano in the Coffee Shop is a definite attention-getter. But when the photos get posted, maybe Chad will recognize the face or Corbin's boss will remember the language problem.

The innuendos are flying as thick and fast as the monkeys right now. I am going to sit back and enjoy, thank you very much!

I was able to follow the bread-crumb trail up to a point: I figured witness protection, but if so why is our hero not considered a criminal, and why the FBI, witness protection is usually handled by Federal Marshals and an agent accompanies the protected witness. Usually, the witness' financial sources are locked to prevent his fleeing. It is going to be difficult if not impossible to keep the love affair between Paul and Corbin quiet in so small a town, especially because Paul is 'out' to his workmates at the fire station and Corbin will be working, at least part-time as a barista at the coffee house. In the back of my mind, I believe I recall Corbin getting 'hit on' by a clerk in the Hardware Store, so he may be 'outed' very soon. It is interesting that Paul's orientation is not a problem among his fellow firefighters, I would expect negativity in small-town Idaho, comments about taking a shower or sleeping in the same room as a 'homo' when on duty. Comment having nothing to do with the trend of the tale: I find myself of two minds by the physical description of Paul. Big and hunky is good, but 'hairy' sort of turns me off -- maybe lightly furred, but not shaven, and not Teddy Bears. A slight 5 o'clock shadow or some 'scruff' is ok, but no beards, please! Just a personal prejudice -- OOPS, sorry, this is not an advertisement -- I am currently living deep in the Brazilian 'outback', 90 clicks from the nearest airport. Beautiful weather, but a long way to travel for a one-night-stand. LOL.

I got some of the bread crumb trail correct: WP -- witness protection, but if so Corbin would be a criminal a junior member of a 'Family', the name Stefano as someone to be avoided said that, and it explains his ability with Italian, but not the other clues, and as a "Family' member, not in control of a large sum of money, the Feds would have stopped all his accounts to prevent flight; alone, that is without a handler present, so not WP. But if not WP then why a handler, and carrying a concealed weapon? All the clues were there but there were clues to conflicting information. You created a classic case of misdirection, the sign of a MASTER of crime fiction, Conan Doyle would have been proud to know you!

We keep getting deeper into the mystery -- now the strange type of cell-phone, Stefano, and seeking help from 'Harris'. Argh. But supremely well handled Wayne. You are a master at plotting.

The old troll that is hidden inside me is very pleased with the editing that is going into this story -- it is a pleasure to read without the grammatical errors many authors make. The story too is intriguing, you are handling the mysteries of Corbin's past wonderfully with clues dropped here and there like bread crumbs. Handsome, young, stranger in small Idaho town, apparently a city boy, wealthy and the mention of a 'handler' and the specter of Liam in the backstory meets firefighter, bearded, rugged and interested in making out. All in all the intrigue and mystery are being beautifully handled, the setting and characterizations are perfect. Well, I guess reading on is the requirement.

Okay, there is a 'handler' -- Corbin pays all cash for the house -- he is not a country boy. Clues are building up. But where are they leading? Witness protection? No, because if so the handler would be on site to protect. Maybe some sort of government program? Well. that's what additional chapters are for, Will. Shut up and keep reading.

I was pleasantly surprised at how few grammatical errors there are after reading in the comments on chapter one. I was braced for more, but the writing came out pretty clean. I am famous, no infamous is the word for being hard on editorial errors especially homophones, but I actually enjoyed reading this chapter because of how clean it is.

Intriguing characterization and plotline I definitely will read on. I am hooked from the onset.

All's well that ends well I guess. I have stuck with you to the very end and see, it all worked out. though I am somewhat out of breath.