I attend a "Gay Spirituality" meeting on the last Sunday of every month at a Franciscan Friary about 50 miles from where I live. You might find that odd if I were to tell you I'm actually an atheist. However, when I told the Friars (as the Franciscan brothers like to be called) that I have a problem getting my head around the idea of a god, they simply laughed and said: "And do you think we don't doubt some of the time?"
Despite the fact that I don't believe, the meetings mean a great deal to me. Every month is different, and every month something 'magical' seems to happen. I can't explain in words exactly what this magic is; but maybe that's the nature of magic - it cannot be explained...
At one of the meetings a few months ago, a Redemptorist priest who was attending told a tale about a member of his flock who was upset because he had confessed to another priest that he had had sex with a man. The priest he had confessed to had asked him "What does it feel like to be a murderer?" Several times the man explained to the priest that he wasn't confessing to murder, he was confessing to sex with another man. Each time the priest came back with the same question.
Eventually the man asked the priest point blank what he was getting at, and the priest replied: "Well you killed that man's soul by having sex with him." He refused to give him absolution.
The Redemptorist priest said he asked the person what he had expected from the priest to whom he had confessed. He pointed out to him that he had: (i) admitted that he considered it a sin by confessing to it; and (ii) should have known better than to have expected an elderly priest, known to have very conservative views, not to react in such a way.
This Redemptorist, and the Ordained Franciscan friar at the meeting, went on to explain that, since Vatican II in the 1960's, any member of the Roman Catholic church is not bound to accept that, just because something may be considered a sin by others, that it means that it has to be considered a sin by the individual if that indiviual's conscience tells him or her otherwise. And in the case of gay people, gay sex per se should not be considered sinful.
It was also pointed out that the the encyclycals (sp?) of Pope JP2 and the current encumbant regarding gay sex and the gay lifestyle have not actually been issued 'Ex Cathedra'. In other words they have not entered the Canon Doctrine, but are simply the personal opinions of the two popes.
This is only a synopsis of what was discussed, but basically what I'm getting at, JSmith, is that you only need to confess to what YOU consider to be sins, not what other people (whether that's your mother, or the church hierarcy) may consider sinful.
BY all means go to confession if that's what you want to do. But before you confess to anything, decide for yourself whether it is sinful or not. If you don't consider it sinful, don't confess to it.
~ Marty ~
