Razor

I assumed the grandparents were her guardians. Is that not the case?

Oh man oh man oh man... ummm.... let me think... oh goodness.... ~goes to my windows media player listy thingy~ It's so difficult to decide... my music all has specific meanings for me... there's all my emo and goth music, all my happy music... ummm... okay, I pick... Mad World Gary Jules, cover of Tears for Fears All around me are familiar faces Worn out places, worn out faces Bright and early for their daily races Going nowhere, going nowhere Their tears are filling up their glasses No expression, no expression Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow No tomorrow, no tomorrow And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I'm dying Are the best I've ever had I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take When people run in circles It's a very, very Mad World Mad world Children waiting for the day they feel good Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday And I feel the way that every child should Sit and listen, sit and listen Went to school and I was very nervous No one knew me, no one knew me Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson Look right through me, look right through me And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I'm dying Are the best I've ever had I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take When people run in circles It's a very, very Mad World That's the one from the end of Donnie Darko and it just makes me feel... delightfully sane, like it's really the rest of the world that's totally nuts.

I don't wanna turn this into a gigantic all out freakfest of opinions, but I have to kind of interject. Okay, yes, driving drunk is stupid and dangerous. As for the penalties... I'm still dealing with the DUI I got a year ago. It's cost me at least a couple thousand total by now, and will continue to cost me outrageous amounts for insurance for another two years. After that, it's still on my record for another two. Nothing can ever bring back someone who was killed. Nothing can ever take back something someone did that was wrong. I really wish I hadn't done what I did that night to get myself in that predicament, but I can't change it. I will tell you that the mess that results is a serious one. It hits you hard financially and socially. Nobody should drive while they're drunk. Even so, sometimes people just f**K up. There's no good solution to this. Situations are never as black and white as you see them. Things happen, complications arise... life has way more twists and turns when you're actually living it. I don't want to say that it's okay to hurt somebody, because it's not, and if you can hurt someone and not feel guilt and pain from doing it, then you're sick. I like to think that if anyone ever wronged me, and I had a chance to hurt them in a seriously terrible way, I wouldn't take it, especially if I knew that they were sorry for what they did. Ah, I'm getting into a complicated thing here, so I'll just stop talking, lol. I was just trying to say that there are two sides to every story, and sometimes good people do things that are really f**king stupid.

Exactly my sentiment.

Oh my f**king god I love this thread so much. Mark... you're my hero. During the last semester of my junior year, I almost did the deed with a guy in the career center of my old highschool. My only regret: not being quick enough to get it done before the bell rang. ETA: I also confess that the first time I ever played with DXM was in one of those "I'm so crazy I feel like I'm not even in my body" moments, and lemme tell you... boy am I glad I gulped the cough syrup and decided I enjoyed myself a bit too much to gulp everything else. Also, this one time at band camp I peeked on a boy in the shower. He started it though, damn it. He wrestled way too much for a straight boy. Oh, and when I was little me and this other kid used to play doctor, hehe. I saw him a couple years back and omfg he got huge (and not so pretty ). I'll add again if anything else comes to mind... btw, Krista... I'll confess that I absolutely can't get enough of Golden Girls.

HEY! I'm late (as usual), but HAPPY BDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You rock my socks!

"A thousand clever lies unread on clever napkins." "spiderwebs of razor tracery" "...I can only tell you that this world calls for you to cry." "Laine's mouth tasted delicately salty, like tears." "The children have king cake parties... The baby represents the infant Christ, and children seldom choke on it. Jesus loves little children." Okay, that's all my gothicness for now. So I'm a little weird.

I'm insane. I'm narcissistic, yet I hate the way I look... but I would so do me. I have terrible anxiety around people whose opinions and love of me haven't been measured, but I would die without social interaction. I can never decide what I should be doing, but I know I should be doing it. I think I'm just a normal kid, lol. Truly, I don't see that much difference from person to person. So, my true self? I really like to think that my true self is just this wide-eyed, amazed little boy walking through the world and playing with the big kids' toys.

I would have gone up to my father, punched him squarely in the balls, hit him repeatedly with a frying pan, then poured all of his alcohol onto him. When he woke up, I would hold his handgun pointed at his face and calmly explain to him how badly he is messing up his life and the lives of those around him. I would also suggest to him that he should undergo counseling for his severe insecurity and attention issues. I also wouldn't have been so clueless about letting my mother hang around him for as long as she put up with him. I happen to know that he did a lot of really messed up things before I ever came along, so I would have concentrated on getting her out of that situation as quickly as possible. I would have never picked up a cigarette. I would have never touched marijuana. I would have insisted on a better education for myself so that I wouldn't be blindsided after not learning anything new for eight years. I would have guilted my grandmother into paying for piano lessons. I would have kept my sister from going through all the shit that she's just now beginning to halfway work out. I would have noticed my brother's eating habits, and excercised and played with him more to save us both the trouble we've had. I would have been nicer to my closest little sister, and kept her close. I would never have gotten drunk while taking Prozac, then took someone else's vehicle for a ride. I would have been more confident, and gone after the boys I wanted without worrying about rejection. I would have come out of the closet much sooner, and told anyone with a problem to shove it up their ass. I would have been less of a spoiled little teenage bastard at times; my mom didn't need some of the stress I gave her. I would have gotten a job sooner, not bought a cell phone, and put back the money for something important. I wouldn't have had sex with anyone, period, unless I was sure I loved them. I would have been more mature and caring in my relationships with the people my age. I would have absolutely refused to move to northern Mississippi. I would have payed attention in Baxter White's math classes, taken my ACT, graduated early, and taken a year to earn some money and help my mom. I wouldn't have let people push me around, lie to me, try to trick me into anything, or manipulate me. I wouldn't have been friends with some of the people I was friends with, or I would have tried to set a good example for them. I would have learned sooner that while it's important to stand up for myself, it's just as important to be able to smile and walk away after being called a faggot, and sometimes even add in "Only for you, baby." I would have fought my band director tooth and nail for screwing me over on my chance to be a leader and do something important. By the way, the only year that band won the state championship was when I was head section leader; not once since. I wouldn't have let adults assume they could tell me what to do just because I was younger than them, especially since I was much more competent and well adjusted than some of them. I could go on and on and on for a very, very long time. There's a lot of things I would have done differently, and it sucks that I had to make the f**K up to know what I should have done. I'll know next time, but what's done is done and there's no reason to let it eat me alive. I know I rambled. I can't place any single decision as best or worst. I've had no major lesson. There's been no sudden enlightenment. I have a lot of regrets, but I firmly believe that life is about making yourself happy and doing the right thing. I don't know... maybe the gradual decision to accept drug use as a replacement for dealing with my problems was the worst. The best? I haven't done a lot to be proud of.

I got mad about this in class today. I'm quite of the opinion that they shouldn't have been showing movies with naughty bits to eight grade kids. It's just not acceptable. In a high school class I would expect it to be less of an issue since I keep hoping everyone's mature enough to deal with those sorts of situations. So when the topic came up today, one of my friends who was wearing a FISH (<---random acronym) shirt decided to say "I couldn't even look at the movie cover without gagging" I retaliated loudly.... The shirt had one of those fishies with JESUS in the middle of it. "Oh yeah? Well Jesus fish make me f**king gag!" <----- bad idea... I got odd looks, and the Christians were out for blood. That just made me angrier and I spent the next hour talking about how I wanted to beat them with a giant, spiked metal cross. If they can't take a little backtalk... they shouldn't open their mouths. If they want to preach to me in school, I can damn well dish it back. Anyway, I think the whole thing is stupid. Sure, the teacher was out of line. Her conduct was actually quite outrageous. But trauma from seeing Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal (however the hell you spell their names) getting it on? She's a teenage girl. She liked it.

A lot of potential with no motivation to use it in a constructive manner. A boy who could be very attractive if he had the discipline to try. An intelligence wasted on someone who has absolutely no inclination to test it on anything that doesn't benefit or interest them. A kid trying to change into what he wants to be. And ya know what? I'm pretty damn happy about it, all things considered. EDIT: It's been framed on the wall somewhere in every house I've lived in; it seemed appropriate. The Man In The Mirror When you get what you want in your struggle for self And the world makes you king for a day, Then go to the mirror and look at yourself, And see what THAT man has to say. For it isn't your father or mother or wife Whose judgement upon you must pass; The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life Is the one staring back from the glass. Some people may think you a straight-shootin' chum And call you a wonderful guy, But the man in the glass says you're only a bum If you can't look him straight in the eye. He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest For he's with you clear to the end. And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test If the man in glass is your friend. You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years And get pats on the back as you pass, But your final reward will be heartaches and tears If you've cheated the man in the glass. -Walter Danuser

So how'd it go!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! TELL US, DAMN IT! -----Scene shifts to Jamie walking into his therapist's office, who tells him yet again that he doesn't handle suspense in a constructive manner-----

James has a very good point here. When asked about this subject, the youth director at Exodus, Int. replied that the APA was "heavily controlled and influenced by gays and lesbians". They work to discredit the real scientific organizations in order to make their religious convictions not lies. In order to validate a lot of their very outragous claims, they reach back to the eighties and early nineties. Including these years in studies, especially studies in certain geographic locales, means they can come out with a very biased and lopsided result. Churches and Christians will always do this sort of thing. In order to stop it, I propose a very simple sociologic control mechanism that we have all experienced... You know those times when you say something stupid that was quite thoughtless, and massive amounts of people immediately begin to chew you out for it? Well... hehe, it's like positive peer pressure. The more like minded people in one place there are, the more minds we change. It's all a matter of uniting and speaking out. That's why I'm always so rawr about closeted gays who don't say anything when someone's getting picked on or in situations like that. So... some of you guys come to MS. We're getting the bottom half of the state under control, just gotta queer up the north a bit... you know, make it inhabitable.

Careful with Dells... if you get one, splurge on that accidental damage warranty!!! Get it for as long as you can, and don't worry about the money being wasted; she'll use it. Mine's had the screen go out twice because of flexing, which is strange because I don't think I'm overly rough on it. A key stopped working, and I have strange issues with my CD/DVD drive. I'm not gonna say that Dells absolutely blow. I like my Dell, it's much better than a lot of other computers, and for the price at that time it was a pretty good deal. Shop around, though, and be brutal with the questions. Never turn down a warranty, ever. Be careful about what sort of viruscan software and whatnot they put on your compy. I've had McAfee since I got this puppy, and as much as people badmouth it, I've only gotten a virus once, and it got rid of it immediately. I really like the privacy service so I can decide which cookies to allow and which to reject; if I don't know the website is safe, then I just reject the cookies. I can always go back later and unblock that site so that it will allow cookies. They also have some sort of new site reviewer thing, and if you go to a site that they've found unsafe material on, it pops up and tells you that the site may cause you problems. In that case, I definitely block cookies and try not to click around too much. As for Norton... I absolutely hate that POS. When I had it on the old comp, I'd get viruses like a kid gets candy on Halloween, and then it would be unable to remove them for some reason. I'd have to manually find the program, delete it, repair my registry... it was a hassle beyond hassles. I'm positive someone in here with a lot of technical know how can advise you on what's currently considered the best software. I'm big on that, since the fastest way to ruin a good computer is to let it get cluttered with spyware, adware, and viruses enough to slow it to a crawl. And yes, everything I've heard implies that Vista is the devil incarnate.

Ever read The Canterbury Tales? Specifically, The Pardoner's Tale? In this tale, the pardoner tells of three young men who are sitting in a tavern as a funeral procession passes by. The obnoxious youths demand that the servant go see who has died, but the servant replies that it was a young man much like themselves. He also informs them that someone called Death has killed many in the area. On a whim, these three vow to be loyal to each other and to kill Death, who has killed so many. They head out, and meet a man not a half mile from town. The man is old, dressed completely to his face in cloth. They harass him, and he scolds them for saying mean things to an old man. He then tries to walk away, pass them by. They accuse him of being a spy for Death, and demand to know where Death is. The man replies that he knows where Death is, that he left Death not long ago under a tree down the road. They head that way, and find a pile of golden coins, no less than eight bushels. Immediately, they forget their vows. They send the youngest to town to fetch wine and bread so they can keep guard over the treasure until night falls and they can take the treasure back to their homes without suspicion. While the youngest is absent, the other two plan to stab him to death when he returns. While in town, he buys poison with which to taint their bottles of wine so that he may have the treasure to himself. As he returns, they fall on him and kill him. After, they drink from one of the poisoned bottles and die immediately. The old man was obviously Death, and the treasure under the tree was their demise. It was their weakness, and it killed them. Just to provoke a bit of thought, I'd like to ask a question. What would be under your tree?

Okay, here's what we're doing. In literature especially, phrases sometimes stand out to you for whatever reason as beautiful, profound, alluring. Give at least one example of what you consider to be a beautiful phrase. It can be as short as two words, or as long as an entire sentence. Then, if you so choose, tell why you think that highly of those words. Please remember that while meaning is an issue in this, we are not looking for profound sentences pertaining to life lessons or anything like that; we are concentrating on the beauty of words and combinations of words alone. Connected meaning of these words should not be the main reason you pick them; connotations of the words should be. Now, GO! This is gonna be fun. I'll post some of my own after I make a list.

Soon, hopefully. I'm officially on break right now to take care of business going on day to day, but I'm still lurking. I just don't have as much time and energy as I'd like to put into writing.

-rejoining the living normal world -going to cash a check so that I'll have some cash till I get a job -going and getting my license -filling out the FAFSA -sending in my USM application -washing clothes -going clothes shopping -everything in general, until I find something I actually want to do

We'll see. Hopefully it'll work well. I would suggest an activity that doesn't require you to talk. A handout explaining a project or assignment, including the fact that you are participating, would work nicely. I dislike the idea of giving busy work, but maybe you have something in mind that could be fun and educational. Otherwise, do as Graeme suggested; teach normally, but observe otherwise.

That's one second he wouldn't be pointing a gun at me. I can cover a few feet in a second. My comment was in regard to the fact that people, Americans specifically, have become afraid to take charge of a situation with high stakes.

No. I've got to say that these people must have been absolutely stupid or complete cowards. If someone is pointing a gun at a room full of people, and I'm in it, I'm GOING to hurt them very, very badly if they don't shoot me in the head first. This man was very prepared and knew what he was doing, but as far as I've been told he actually took time to reload. The man took time to reload his weapons! What the HELL is wrong with these people? If I had a pencil, it would be in the mans eye socket or neck. There's no way he would have had time to drop a clip and put in another before I got to him and had him on the ground. He may have even killed me, but someone else would have killed him. I have to say that it's really sad that 33 people were killed, 48 shot, when one or two people could have stopped him.

The casino owner employs people in order to sell products or services, like booze and gambling. Sex sells very well, and a woman who is made up and scantily dressed will sell far more drinks than an eighty year old woman missing an arm. Appearance is of great importance in jobs where people interact with their customers to sell something. That, in my opinion, is NOT sex stereotyping. It is smart business practice based on solid fact. Quite frankly, any woman who works in a profession like this should expect to be required to sell herself to a certain degree. If you don't agree with it, don't enter a business in which you will be put into such a position. Sex stereotyping is telling a woman she isn't smart enough to be a lawyer because she's a woman. It is not asking a woman to fulfill the requirements of an occupation in order to do it with the most possible success. You'll never see an ugly male bartender in a gay bar, will you? Of course not, it would be bad for business. The bartender would flirt, laugh, and draw people in with the intent of selling them more products.

If I own a business and you are my employee, you will do exactly as I tell you to do or you will be terminated from your position. That simple. I believe very firmly that a business, as a private entity, has the right to run their business in any way they choose. If the employee doesn't like it, they don't have to work there. The notion of suing someone because they told you that you have to wear makeup when you work at a place where appearance is of utmost importance is, well, stupid.

You know, this is the same sort of idiocy that makes MY life difficult. You know that if I was in possession of heroin when I got in trouble one year ago I could have it expunged from my record, but because of these freak activists I can't possibly get a DUI expunged? You know that means I'm absolutely screwed on insurance for 3 years? Yeah, I understand that sometimes bad things happen because someone did something stupid. I understand what I did was really stupid. I also know that sometimes people just mess up. These mess ups can be pretty bad... but the growing trend to vengeance instead of lenience really makes me sick. People need to realize that a punishment can't fix what a mistake screwed up.

Hardcore scifi makes me want to vomit 99% of the time. In recent times, the only sci fi I've found that I could stomach was Dio's stuff, and that's only because he has a delightfully twisted sense of humor. Horror is okay, but it has to have a certain feel to it. I'm not into blood and guts, I wanna be terrified. So far the only book I've ever actually been terrified of was The Shining, but maybe that was because I was a little young to be reading it... five years old is a bit early. The prevailing quality of writing that stands out to me is the almost splatterpunk style of it. It has to be edgy, so much so that it slaps me in the face and makes me pay attention. I want to read about insanity, debauchery, the most harsh, drastic... just the MOST. I have to have that element of extremity, that sort of desperate need written into the story, to make me really go nuts over it. Good example: Poppy Z. Brite's earlier works, before she went soft, lol. Lost Souls is officially my favorite book ever, bar none. I write... strangely. I try to sort of show just how insane someone can be, while looking perfectly normal on the outside. We all, especially teens, have those moments and stretches where we've gone completely nutso on the inside, close to snapping, but nobody notices through the fake smiles and routines. It's kind of fun to show what's underneath a calm exterior. Takes a certain kind of person to appreciate it though, lol. And of course, there just has to be a bit of romantic/sexual interest in there somewhere... no one can truthfully say that a day goes by during which they don't think about their gender of interest at least once.