Bondwriter

OK, so I was not the only one having the impression there was something fishy. Stake, anyone? AND WHEN IS THE NEW CHAPTER GOING TO BE POSTED?

Yes, I do. Having fun in public restrooms means they should end up getting in trouble. What if someone is already there or if they get caught?

Discussing Time in a Bottle. WARNING: Possible spoilers ahead. Quite an eventful chapter, spanning fourteen years of a family life full of drama. There have been quite a few welcome changes from the sneak peek we were offered a few weeks back; some things are more explicit, events have changed. Overall the pace seems facter, and the wider range of family events expands the interest of the story. I like the voice of the narrator who sounds as a reflective peaceful man, with turmoil boiling in his heart. And Raymond Moore doesn't have it easy. The final scene made me cringe, children dying always make me quite sad, to say the least. I'm really curious as to where the narrative goes from there. We'll find out in the next chapters!

I hope Ben and Steph find a location more proper to make out than a public bathroom this time, if they make out.

Well, we are lucky they exist. I hope you never antagonized one of them to the point they'd claim your genitalia as a trophy. Not really a compliment, more something along the lines of shameless self-promotion. For The Love a script for the next Troma movie? The Piedmont sheriff would be a good character for Mr Kaufman's crew. And the interlude allows to build up the tension and reinforces the characters' personality. And uninterrupted sex.

Yes, Happy Birthday!

Obviously, it's impossible to please everyone. Here is what I got from the WWWF: "Dear Sir, We are appalled at the manner you rewrote one of the few fairy tales that had wildlife portrayed under a slightly positive way, namely Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Your human-centered narrative is representative of how you human beings don't give a *censored* about us animals. I've noticed that on this board, goats are being made fun of on a regular basis. Rest assured that we'll take all legal measures to set things right. Paul the Panda" Well, Paul, sorry for making you feel bad, but I thought that avoiding to portray bears scaring little children would be seen as positive. My lawyer will be in touch.

If your friend identified with Val, maybe she felt bad about her being left off. But she's not a prop. She's a full-fledged character, essential to the plot, and what makes the story interesting. She's not just a sidekick or a matchmaker. One can have strong feelings as to the way the boys treat her, which can be seen as bad, but that doesn't make her an accessory in the story.

Cute chapter. Yes Chris did leave clues here and there that he was not completely comfortable with who he is. The whole afternoon flows nicely, with all the pool antics and jokes; like a peaceful episode before the storm. Any chapter finishing with two guys kissing under a myriad of stars in the summer sky can only have been written by a thoughtful, kind, talented person. Veronica seems to be affected by the tougher-than-guys epidemic that's going on in eFiction. Like Val in LiS, she threatens to castrate males. Can Steve's mom come up with an explanation for this? As for Chad being a dunce in French, it's kind of realistic. There are stores trying to make their names "sound" French and usually failing miserably. Jack, I love you too. And I'm waiting for your new chapter. Impatiently. No kidding.

Sorry, I didn't mean bleak, I meant gloomy. Excuse ze mistakes from ze foreigner, kind seer.

I was not ironical. I was patiently waiting. That's what happens when you kid around too much, people don't take you seriously anymore. I guess goats have their share of responsibility when it comes to having people kid around too much. But since it got you to edit one more chapter, it was worth being misunderstood.

Man, was I reading a Thomas Pynchon novel without even being aware of it? The whole conspiracy aims at confusing readers, doens't it? Factions, foreign languages, flying saucers... I'm WAAYYY lost now. I'll go back to reading the story (and decipher it with a new numerology grid).

Good question. Paul Bunyan, the spokesman for the Brotherhood of Lumberjacks and Woodworkers of the World just issued the following statement: "Though some more conservative organizations with agendas different from ours officially endorsed this story, we are not bigots ourselves. This tale praises values we may identify with: hard work, love of nature, and solidarity among the lumberjacks, though this solidarity seems to go a bit beyond just labor. So we have no problem with this fine tale, and we recommend its reading by our members." As for the feedback people provided, I'm glad it reminded good memories to some!

I wonder if all this motorbike/ car interest is foreshadowing for further drama. I hope not. I don't have the means to kidnap all the eFiction writers to get them to rewrite their stories (and California is way further than the UK).

Rigel's feelings are similar to mine. But yes, Altimexis, you're the boss there. That's the problem of posting a story in the make and getting feedback as you write it. If you're actually done with it, don't change anything plotwise. As for chapter 9, distress kicks in all right with these bigoted parents' reaction.

Camy is putting himself in a dangerous position. Re-using Razor's phrase, he could have "a Misery pulled on him" if he makes his ending too bleak. I would get him to rewrite from just before the flat blowing up with the boys going on Alex Ryder-style missions, foiling the conspiracy and a last chapter with a big party with everybody making out. But these are my muses, and who knows what goes through a Brit's mind...

Why would I? Maybe "Allez chier les gars..." is profanity on the other side of the Atlantic, but in our fine Somme district it means "You're great guys, your insightful ideas and views on life overwhelm me with joy and glee." Plus I have other means to get potty-mouthed guys to remain quiet... And we're patiently waiting.

I agree with a lot of what you say, Max. I'm sure deep inside Jack is a warm, good-hearted loving person. And it's interesting to know that saying bad things about someone in a forum will get him new readers. No bad publicity, only publicity, apparently.

Having second thoughts on buying Jack. What if he's not up to the expected level of performance? Does Leviticus say something about after-sales service?

Well, yes. The person below me has some nice little meeting/ date/ whatever you wanna call it planned out this week-end.

Uhh... No, but now I know they exist. The person below me has a few good local bands so he can be a fan without spending half his/ her income on going to far away shows.

OK, now I know about Rapunzel! I might have read a summed up version a long, long time ago, but it just didn't come back. But this makes for an even better read; I had no clue where it was headed at the beginning. I enjoyed the tone of "classic" fairy tale, with all the mating/ breeding issues. The witch's character is not too stereotypical, as she has inner suffering; she's wicked enough to drive the plot to what I thought would be a very unhappy end. Of course the Prince and Chervil are very pleasant characters. So I enjoyed the fact the story flowed naturally telling a compelling story. The ending, with both heroes "riding into the sunset" and giving up on wordly rewards was extremely cute, and the few lines here and there like "It also occurred to him that his father would likely be more pleased by the arrival of a beautiful witch bearing his heir than the arrival of his son with a beautiful young boy." made it a story with a point too. One little detail, the layout was nice, but on my CRT screen the pink/ red stripes tended to give some clusters of letters have an unintended glow, and sometimes it made reading a bit annoying.

There are enough twists of the original story to make it suspenseful. It was one of the first stories I had a look at, and the very beginning, with so much misery and abuse for both Teddy and Cinder/ Sissy made me want to check another one out. But the two droid characters are great and set things as they should be. I enjoyed the sci-fi interpretation which was light and subtle.