I too came very close to taking the same way as David did. Into a Better Place touched me so deep. I went through the same as David. I was 15 & desperate, scared & so lonely. I had recently accepted that I was "different." I was very shy, it had always been difficult for me to make friends.
The night I could no longer deny the truth, the pain was unbearable. I was so scared because I thought the only way to stop the pain was to die, but I didn't want to die. Was it because I was scared of dying or I didn't want to hurt my family or the fear of the unknown. To tell the truth, even now. all these years later I don't know what kept me alive that night,
I remember I felt the walls of my bedroom were closing in on me. I wanted to knock on my parents bedroom door to ask them for help, I was too scared of their reaction. Our family didn't talk about anything, especiall feelings, Instead I wandered to the kitchen. I fell to my knees on the cold tiles, sobbing harder than I ever had. At the same time trying not to make too much noise, scared of the consquences if I woke anyone up.
I did not grow up in a religious family. If someone had asked me if I believed in God, I would have have said yes, but religion wasn't a part of our lives. That night I had no one to turn to so I begged God, literally I begged Him to help me find a friend. I needed a friend so bad, not too tell my deep secret. I was so lonely & scared, I needed someone before it was too late.
Within a few days I met Melanie, or I should say she met me. She was outgoing, talked to everyone. I had seen her around school but we had never spoke. Then out of the blue one day she asked if I was going to Friday's football game. I said no & she said of course you are, grabbed my hand & pulled me over to where her friends were. I hung out with them that night. I became part of their group for the rest of high school.
I never did become a religious person. I don't know what happened that night. Was it a god who answered my desperate plea of help? I have no doubt there is somethng & I guess the day will come when I, as everyone does, will find out.
I lost ract of Melanie a few years after high school. Couple of years ago I reconnected with her on FaceBook. I finally got to tell her that she had saved my life all those years ago by reaching out to me. She wrote back that my telling her helped her feel good at at time she was having a hard time.
Wow, have never wrote this much online. Thanks Riley for "Into a Better Place." It certainly woke long sleeping memories. It felt good writing this. I will show it to Andrew tomorrow, he is sleeping beside me. Yeah, I still tend to be awake when everyone else is sleeping. It will be our 21st anniversary next month. To everyone who is hurting & I know many find it hard to believe when you're hurting, please Don't Give Up, not only is love is out there, so is the rest of your life, so many new experiences. I never thought I would marry an Englisg guy & spend my time living between London & Malaga.
To those of you who feel someone might need a friend, don't ignore your gut feeling, reach out, you could save a life.
You have a great gfit Riley, thank you for sharing this deeply thought provoking story.
Will
