SilentandBroken

Man I wish Comsi could see this mid chapter comment. I loved the monologue of Justin’s thoughts spawning from his interaction with Dion. I can see the parallel of living the gay life and fleetingly wishing for life before coming out. But, it isn’t just that. As with Comsi’s other stories especially My Only Escape, there’s the nostalgia of life before trauma. Yeah bud, I feel that way too. Sigh. Damn I miss you dude.

Second time reading this work. I totally forgot about the boat scene when Max exited the bathroom. I busted out loud laughing as I listened with the text to speech option via ear buds. Hilarious.

Maybe!

Besides, there weren’t any words to accurately describe my frustration and disappointment

I know…sigh. It’s just …well…it’s not rejection but it might as well be and I was really feeling the vibes between Matt and Oscar. That’s on me. Life has taught that lesson too many times to make sure I learned it. I just didn’t want to have it happen here.

I’m rereading this story and I have no idea why. This is my second time through it in over a year. I think, now that it’s been some time since Comsi has passed and I’ve reread a good number of his stories, I think his greatest skill in story writing was his character development. I hope you’re at peace in your final rest Comsi. You are missed.

Michael is going to be a problem

Well that dude was very Yoda like…weird af. 😂

Happy Birthday!!!!! Hugs!!!

And they still happen. I know it looks bleak. I’m not denying that.

Gary, Thank you. C-ptsd is a real curse but with a lot of Emdr therapy, much more than most insurances cover, I’ve made a LOT of progress. 5 yrs every Saturday for 2 hr sessions off the books because my therapist knew I needed the help but couldn’t afford it and he could write me off. His way of giving I guess I don’t know. He essentially says I’ve “healed” because the night terrors are rare and generally don’t occur unless life is generally stressful and I’ve learned how to manage my stress. I have a job that pays decent, is low stress and fits my personality well. I am very very fortunate in those areas. I’ve had a lot of help. I’ve learned so much about myself in the process, how to ground and counter panic attacks and most importantly stand up for myself against narcissistic people. I recognize my recovery is a dream for most. Admittedly, I still carry a lot of guilt and it makes me feel very unworthy for the progress I’ve made..but I then realize no.. I worked HARD to get where I am and so have others to help and support me. I guess that’s how I’ve earned it. I didn’t resist the help when given. I went to therapy for years and did the worst of it when I didn’t want to anymore. Nothing was worse than where I was before I told someone finally and recognized I wanted to live because yeah, I wanted to quit. I was just too chicken shit to pull it off for real. I only ever had 1 attempt early on. I applaud those who stand up and help us afflicted like Jeff and myself because they help bear the burden and after a while it tends to be absorbed into their own mind. It truly takes a very special person to push us when we fight back. (I’m getting misty eyed thinking about some of those sessions) I am glad @Jeff Burton writes describing the care in their facial expressions when Gavin is in session with folks because I can definitely remember seeing my therapist’s expressions when I battled myself and wanted to ..to..run away and scream and hide and I cried..God I cried..Folks who care like Gavin and pick us up are the real hero’s. They’re out there.

I’m sure this isn’t compatible with iPhones. They have their own highlight and speak /read option which is what I use. I love it

Dammit Chris is NOT dead yet! I hate that everyone acted as if he died on scene! Haven’t they have ANY hope?! UGGGGGGHHHH!!!