John Henry
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Bryan was still crying when Diego came home. When Caleb saw their dad enter the room, he got up and gave the man a hug. Diego returned the hug but his eyes were on his eldest child. Bryan rarely cried, so to see his son that upset hurt his heart. He sent Caleb from the room, climbed onto the bed and pulled Bryan into him. Bryan didn't even try to protest. “It's okay, Chico.” Diego whispered. He kissed his son's forehead and rubbed the boy's back, as Bryan cried into his dad's chest. Despite
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I think a lot of adults forget what it's like to be a teenager, so it can be difficult to write about the complexities of their situations, especially from their perspectives. I try to do my best from what I remember, so I hope that's been translating well.
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Agreed. Life in his situation isn't easy.
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Calvin is a dick to definitely deserves what he gets/has coming to him. At the moment, Bryan is one of those teens who thinks he can handle everything himself, so we'll see how it turns out in the long run.
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Teenagers often lack foresight and find themselves in plenty of bad situations. Bryan wants fluidity while Kenny wants absolutes. That's not a combo that works very well.
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Yeah, being a teenager sucks, and I remember it all too well. I'm glad you're able to connect with it on that level.
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The next few days were stressful for the Padilla family. Diego had to make arrangements at work to get the weekend off, since they were having to drive quite the distance for the memorial service. Thankfully, his business partner was very understanding and, that Thursday, agreed to cover the shift. Diego tried not bothering his fellow co-owner the best he could, as the man had a lot to deal with at home, and Diego also suspected that Steve had a hand in this, since Steve and his business partner
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Steve is one of my favorite characters I've written. He's accepting, empathetic, has a good moral compass and patient. I wish I had used him more in my other stories, but there was no way for it to make sense at the time, so it was nice to find a way to bring him back. As for Bryan and Kenny...conflict is needed to have an engaging story, and there are many forms of conflict. Bryan and Kenny are teenagers with the typical teenager problems. As adults, it's easy to see where Bryan is going wrong, but to Bryan it's a situation he's never been in before. It's one of the reasons being a teenager is so difficult. Hormone imbalances due to puberty, increased social situations, a better understanding of the world they live in but not enough to fully grasp what they're dealing with, becoming more self-aware than they have ever been, etc. As adults, we often forget about all of this.
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I felt it was a nice little moment that non-verbally said a lot of big things.
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How you feel about Calvin and Donna is pretty apt and feelings I have had a lot over the years with their real counterparts, so I completely empathize with your assessment.
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Yeah, resting bitch face is a thing, and the real "Calvin" has it in spades, especially on camera, so it's pretty easy for me to describe the character.
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Tuesday came too soon for Bryan. His suspension was over, and he wasn't looking forward to returning. Despite the revelation of the new surveillance system at the school, Bryan didn't trust that Dan and his goons wouldn't retaliate. Not that he was scared to get hit, but he was concerned that Dan would target Kenny, who wasn't a fighter in the slightest. Once again, Steve drove Bryan to school, since it was on the way to Steve's job. Just as they got onto the road, Steve said, “I know we d
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Thank you very much. Dialogue is very important to me. If it doesn't sound right in my head, it gets reworked till it works. I like conversational dialogue and narration, and it helps me connect better to the material. I figure a lot of people are like that, so I aim for that as a minimum standard.
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I'm using this to process my issues with the real-life Calvin, who is far worse than the one I'm depicting in this story. In fact, if he even tried to come at me for likeness rights, it would only prompt me to make it more autobiographical, which would put him a far worse light. I did tell him at the end of our friendship that I was going to write a story about it, so it's not like he wasn't given fair warning.
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Diego and Bryan are the only immediate family Caleb has ever known. He's too young to remember Calvin, and has no memory of ever living with Donna. Bryan is also a protector of people he loves, so it was only fitting that he and Caleb would be close.
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Diego was raised by good people, and I wanted to express that with how Diego has been raising the boys. Despite the disfunction of their birth parents, Bryan and Caleb lucked out when Calvin ditched them with Diego. Family first is very much a characteristic I've seen in many Latinx families, and I didn't feel that should change in this story. Diego doesn't see the boys as his "adopted" sons, but as his own flesh and blood. As far as he's concerned, his is the only parent they have and will ever need, but he also isn't going to deny the boys their own, genetic heritage, either. He as a level of compassion that most biological parents wouldn't have towards an ex (the real life examples of Donna and Calvin most certainly have no such compassion). As mentioned in other comments, Bryan is a typical teenager. His actions don't always fit his own beliefs, because life, puberty and social pressures are often a lot to process for someone that age, which lead to contradictions. Time and experience are usually what sets those issues on the right path.
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I'm glad you like the realism. People are flawed, life isn't ideal, and though escapism fiction can be good, a story without conflict isn't much of a story at all. Conflict doesn't need to be confrontational, but can be internal conflicts, such as hypocrisies with one's perceived morality, for example. As a teenager, Bryan is old enough to grasp a lot of nuanced concepts, but isn't mature enough to fully understand that consequences, whether good or bad, will come from his actions. Hitting Dan may have made him feel better in the moment, could have long lasting effects that he can't quite see yet. Deflection through humor has been a coping skill of his, but sometimes it isn't appropriate, which could have unwelcomed consequences.
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I wanted the time jump, so Bryan and Caleb could have fully formed characters in which their perspectives could be digestible. Things that have taken place during that jump will either be touched or used as plot devices in future chapters. Also, I don't necessarily have issues explaining subtext or other filler details that might be inferred or implied. For example, Diego has sole custody and has fully adopted the boys. How he managed to do that will be part of the conflict/tension/plot later on. Bryan's feelings towards Steve, as you've guessed, stem from his abandonment issues and not wanting to grow attached. The character of Steve, as mentioned in another comment, is from another series I have on Nifty. That story moved on without him, and I liked the character enough to connect the worlds. Those stories, however, would never be able to get posted on GA given the graphic nature of things that have occurred; however, they're not required reading for this story and have only been touched on or hinted at. Caleb and Bryan are opposites in a lot of ways, which will be addressed in more details later on. I want the story to focus mostly on Bryan and Diego, so adding more perspectives, I think, would only bog the story down at this point. It already feels repetitive in places, which gets some meta jokes thrown at it, so if Caleb gets a perspective, it'll definitely be significant. Mental health and dealing with the issues the boys and Diego have faced is a driving plot device in this story, and I hope I'm addressing them well.
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Thank you for the complements. Starting a story is always the hardest part for me (outside of name choices), since the first chapter has to set the mood, tone and plot. This was intended to be the prologue, but it was too long, and I couldn't think of a way to cut it down (in half, actually) and still have everything needed to progress the story to where it is at the moment. As mentioned in other comments, Calvin is based on a real person I was friends with not too long ago who uses his kids to manipulate people to get what he wants and has abandoned them on several occasions to seek out is own, personal desires. I needed to establish the dynamic between Diego and Calvin along with setting up the events of the rest of the story, without giving too much away. It was very difficult to get this one started, and took me months to get to the point where I felt comfortable writing it.
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Copyright varies from country to country, so you need to check your local laws. In the United States, copyright is automatic, though fighting to protect it can be a pain. To register your copyright, you need to send a copy of the material to the Library of Congress, which will log it into their system. To use someone else copyrights, you need permission (which can be verified) and list them and their copyright. Fair Use doesn't need to have that. Open Licenses, like you'd find in Open Game Licenses (such as for Dungeons and Dragons), have requirements for use and credits, which would be found in the terms of service section. It is a very complicated thing, which is why there's an entire legal field dedicated to it. When in doubt, make up your thing.
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@Mancunian, thank you for clearing this up. Yes, I was under the impression it was the author's reputation and not the story's that made the difference. Thank you, again, for answering this with details.
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As a teenager, Bryan's feelings are always in conflict, which is made worse given his attachment/abandonment issues. This is a major theme for his character, so I ask for patience as we all delve into this boy's psyche. As for the dishes, he was allowed to use the dishwasher. Lol Diego is firm but fair, and also, as a cook/chief, he has a lot of equipment. Though Caleb and Steve aren't the central focus, I want to make sure they have a voice and presence that helps drive the story. Yeah, I thought people would find the Avatar joke funny. There's humor in this story to help with the seriousness of it. Some jokes are obvious, some are meta, and some are obscure pop culture references. There's something for everyone.
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I recently got more than 250 reputation points, which I had been told was enough to get around the Moderation Queue; however, I'm still stuck in it. I can't find any answers in the FAQ section on this (or really anything on the Moderation Queue and how it actually works). Am I missing something? Is this not automatic? I've tried publishing my latest chapter, the republished it, but it still puts my chapter in the queue. Can anyone give me advice or point me in the right direction?
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You'll just have to keep reading to find out.
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Stories that change you.
John Henry commented on Jeff Burton's blog entry in Thoughts, Oddities and Utter Chaos
Catharsis comes in many shapes and forms. You've been through a trial by fire for sure, and I'm glad that you're finding your way out of the darkness. Not all of us have the strength to do that.
