Cane23

Oh my… I’m afraid I might have misled you somehow! In our earlier conversation, I actually shared my view on this with @LeeSA - in short, I think it’s quite clear by now that Alexander didn’t come here to play the offended one. He came to reclaim what’s his. Veni, Vidi… and something Brad couldn’t even bring himself to say - Vici! As for this chapter - this moment belongs entirely to Lyn and his emotions. It’s not about Alexander’s feelings at all. He’s simply there to gather the pieces and put them back together. Alexander serves as a sort of “weeping shoulder” for Lyn - only, let’s say, with other parts of the body involved. 😉 And to answer your question, “Will it work?” — I’d borrow Alexander’s own words: “Happy, yes. For now.” So yes, it’ll work… for now. It was nice for Alexander to get Lyn’s ass, but he won’t be satisfied until he gets his heart.

“No,” Lyn said firmly. “Not there. I don’t bottom.” Why he felt the need to offer an explanation was beyond him. Alexander gave him a surprised look. “What?” Lyn asked. “Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of gay people who prefer a certain role.” Alexander just shrugged, as if he’d just been asked if he learned his lesson on a topic he couldn’t care less about. “And you never play with your ass?” Lyn rolled his eyes. “No, never. Let’s get down to business. I suppose you don’t want us to be late for dinner.” (ch. 5) Nevertheless, your question is spot on. Regardless of Lyn’s lifestyle, was this really the first time he’d bottomed?

This chapter is a study in contradiction. Lyn seeks to destroy the part of himself that still aches for Brad by giving himself entirely to Alexander. But in doing so, he discovers both pleasure and truth - a brief sense of belonging that terrifies him. Alexander, meanwhile, becomes the body through which Lyn channels emotions he can’t process - self-reclamation and self-punishment. The physical act that should unite them instead exposes their emotional asymmetry. For Lyn, sex is a wound he chooses to reopen; for Alexander, it is a bond he hopes will heal them both. The title Misaligned finds its deepest resonance here - two people perfectly synchronized in body, utterly divergent in purpose. What we're witnessing is not a “lovemaking” scene in the romantic sense, nor is it casual or mechanical. What’s happening between Lyn and Alexander here feels like a collision - a physical, emotional, and symbolic confrontation wrapped inside desire. Even though this isn’t love-making, it feels personal. Every gesture, every word drips with a sense of familiarity, history, and unspoken emotion. Alexander’s care (“Let’s take our time getting you ready”) contrasts Lyn’s desperation (“Any moment now”). They’re not equals in the act - Lyn wants to be consumed, Alexander wants to control and protect. This imbalance is emotional truth disguised as sex - it’s communication through physicality, a confession without words. When Lyn says, “After all, he was the one in need of pain,” the line crystallizes his entire psychology. This is not masochism in the erotic sense alone - it’s a psychic reckoning. The pain stands in for all the guilt, repression, and resentment he has accumulated over years of emotional denial (especially toward Brad and perhaps toward himself for wanting Alexander all along). Lyn’s refusal to tell Alexander what he saw (Brad getting a blowjob from Luke) isn’t simple repression - it’s layered. Lyn feels complicit, even though he’s done nothing wrong. Seeing Brad - the man he loved, idealized, and lost — in a raw, sexual act shatters his constructed image of control and emotional superiority. He can’t process that mixture of jealousy, arousal, and humiliation. His own reaction becomes a source of shame. On another level, yes, he is protecting Brad. Despite everything, Lyn has always been loyal - emotionally if not rationally. Exposing Brad’s private weakness would mean dismantling the version of Brad he still clings to - confident, straight, untouchable. Keeping the secret preserves that illusion - for both of them. By initiating sex with Alexander, Lyn redirects the unbearable emotion (betrayal, desire, humiliation) into physical intensity. He’s controlling the narrative - turning pain into performance, shame into dominance or surrender. So, his silence is not just about keeping Brad safe. It’s a form of self-preservation... if he speaks, everything collapses - his pride, his moral framework, his carefully contained past. Alexander, of course, knows something happened. His medical rationality and his emotional intelligence make him hyper-attuned to change. He sees Lyn’s manic urgency, his aggression wrapped in seduction, the way he’s trying to drown himself in sensation. Alexander doesn’t know what triggered it, but he knows why - something broke Lyn’s emotional armor. That’s why Alexander keeps asking gentle questions (“Do you really—?”) or tries to slow things down. He’s testing Lyn’s threshold - not just physically, but psychologically. And the tenderness (the careful preparation, the patience...) is his way of anchoring Lyn, trying to draw him out without forcing him to confess. On the surface, Alexander is answering Lyn’s reassurance that this night, this act, was special and unrepeatable. Lyn has just said something along the lines of “I’m glad it was you… This won’t ever be repeated with another person.” To anyone else, that might sound romantic - even exclusive. But Alexander is too emotionally intelligent to be satisfied with that kind of technical consolation. He hears what Lyn isn’t saying... that this was meaningful but still not complete. So, when he says “Happy, yes — for now,” it’s both acceptance and quiet protest. He’s content for the night but already feels the limitation. Lyn is giving him his body, maybe even his trust, but not his heart. And Alexander knows it. He has always been the most emotionally honest of the trio. He doesn’t settle for half-measures. His patience, his restraint, his care during sex - all signal that what he truly seeks is connection, not just release. What he wants from Lyn isn’t conquest or experimentation, it’s reciprocity. He’s already given Lyn his emotional vulnerability; now he wants Lyn’s. So, “for now” is his coded way of saying - “I’ll take what you’re willing to give me tonight - but I’m not done wanting you.” He knows Lyn is still half-guarded, still using sex as a form of self-punishment and distraction. But Alexander isn’t naive - he senses that something triggered Lyn’s sudden surrender (the incident with Brad and Luke). He won’t force the truth out, but he’s signaling that he’s waiting, watching, hoping.

The first story about drug abuse and addiction I ever read as a teenager was “Zoo Station: The Story of Christiane F.” I still remember the shock - it left a lifelong mark on me. I haven’t returned to this topic in years, but your story @Jeff Burton, brought me back to that same feeling. It’s powerful, devastating, and incredibly well-written. Difficult to read at times, but worth every minute. And that optimistic ending? It gives real hope.

Oh… what a sacrifice! I never realized being a guardian came with ass-offering duties! 😂

This chapter foreshadows Lyn’s lifelong problem - he can’t decode whether he’s being desired, mocked, or hunted. The moment Brad intervenes; Lyn is simultaneously - relieved, embarrassed, protective of Brad, and deeply soothed. This emotional reflex is what binds him to Brad for decades. Brad and the jocks behave similarly, but Lyn only interprets Brad as safe. That shows Lyn’s emotional blind spots. And Quinn’s “confession” is genuinely ambiguous: Is he joking? Testing? Bi-curious? Mocking? That ambiguity is the point. Lyn will spend years trapped in similar misreadings. If Lyn could read Brad better back then, he might’ve realized he deserved a nickname - ‘The Fisherman.’ Always casting lines, seeing what bites, and reeling reactions in, all while keeping it playful and under the radar. Brad’s comments in this chapter function like emotional sonar pings: “If he were gay, he’d have better taste.”, “You didn’t want that to happen, right?”, Checking whether Lyn “wanted” attention from Quinn, joking about Lyn being straight with exaggerated certainty (“queer tension is a band”), hovering close, touching Lyn, guarding him physically. All of these are tests! Through humor, physical closeness, and protective gestures, Brad seems to be testing boundaries, gauging Lyn’s responses, and subtly asserting his presence in Lyn’s life. The chapter foreshadows the type of psychological and sexual challenges Lyn will face in the present. Quinn’s behavior in college mirrors Luke’s in method, while Lyn’s growth is evident in his ability to respond more confidently. Brad’s "protective role" (s a form of territorial possessiveness rather than just friendship) remains a constant anchor in both eras. I agree with @LeeSA that this is very "territorial moment". Brad positions himself as the arbiter of who can and cannot interact with Lyn, signaling deep attachment and implicit claim over his friend’s space, attention, and safety.

This isn’t a story of saints, but of flawed humans. 😉

If the previous chapter illuminated the fathers, this one belongs to the mothers -drawing a red line and declaring - you may wage your personal crusade as far as you wish, but not at the cost of my child’s life. Another beautiful story of yours @empath that touched my heart deeply. That final moment, when the dog - a simple creature untouched by human ideas, religions, or prejudices...just lies beside the boy he loves unconditionally, brought tears to my eyes.

You’re absolutely right, of course - but that’s still how he feels. A good therapist could help him work through that guilt… and maybe also help him face his sexuality and navigate all the emotional challenges he’s dealing with.

She died of eclampsia. In most cases, if it’s recognized early, the outcome can be very different - it’s often preventable. In the first chapter, Creek mentions that Skye had high blood pressure, but they didn’t take it seriously. I guess that’s part of why he blames himself.

Oh, it’s not because we’re some proudly liberal nation - it’s simply because we prefer our language deliciously filthy and full of creative swearing! 🤪

If there were a competition for the worst word in the English language, my vote would go to ‘abomination.’ I hadn’t even heard it until I started reading stories here on GA, and honestly, even without knowing the meaning, the sound of it is awful. The translation in my native language is just as revolting. I can’t remember hearing it in actual conversation… maybe only in some dusty old book.

One thing’s certain - Jack definitely excels in oral skills.

This is exclusively my opinion based on what we know so far in the story - I might be wrong, of course, but here’s how I see it: (1) For me, Brad has shown his affinity for Lyn from the very start - just not in a direct, emotionally literate way. It’s all in the small gestures: the casual touches, the sexually ambiguous jokes, the long hugs, the looks that lingered a little too long. In the dorm scene, Brad was even the one who suggested “sexual experimenting.” Then there’s the jealousy outburst after Lyn helped Alexander fix the shelves, or Brad’s offer to hold a naked Lyn in the water if he still couldn’t swim. And we can’t forget the admission that “nobody looked at me the way you did.” Those are not neutral signals. So why didn’t Brad ever open up and confess real feelings - especially knowing Lyn’s crush? Because in many ways, Brad is very much like Lyn: big walls, heavy self-protection, and a deep fear of breaking the one relationship that felt safe. If this were the Oscars, Lyn would get Best Leading Actor and Brad Best Supporting - both of them building fortresses around themselves, just in different styles. Brad also put Lyn on a sort of pedestal: someone to admire, not to touch. And Lyn didn’t make it easier - he hid his private life so tightly that Brad kept bumping into that wall and jokingly calling him a monk or an iceman. Brad kept fishing - “Any girlfriend?”, “Who gave you that hickey?”, but Lyn never took the bait. And I think Brad was terrified of crossing a line that would destroy the friendship. On top of that, Brad carries the weight of family expectations: marriage, children, the “proper” life. He knows any relationship with a man would have to be hidden—a parallel existence, like what he’s doing with Luke now. And Lyn is someone for whom honesty and morality matter deeply. Brad understands that. And it scares him. The tragedy is that Brad did try, just in his clumsy Brad-way: the drunken kiss at the party, the dick jokes in the bedroom, the constant attempts to get Lyn alone, the confessions - “no one looked at me as you did,” and “I wanted to be naked because of how you looked at me.” But every single time, Lyn redirected the conversation or minimized it. That was Lyn’s defense mechanism, and it worked because Brad had his own insecurities and was almost relieved every time Lyn changed the subject. Alexander would never tolerate that kind of emotional dodging but Brad and Lyn both did, because it was safer. That’s why everything between them stayed suspended in that painful, unspoken space. And it’s exactly why I’ve always seen a parallel between Brad and Austen’s Wickham or Willoughby—charming, conflicted men whose choices lead them toward tragedy. I even commented once that Brad might end up being the tragic hero of this story. (2) Brad isn’t “recreating the trio” just for the structure of it - he’s recreating exactly what he misses, and that’s Lyn. Bella is the stand-in for the intellectual and emotional force Lyn once was in his life. She’s smart, strong-willed, sharp, someone whose presence demands respect the way Lyn’s did during college. But she’s not Lyn. Luke, on the other hand, is pure physical outlet: lust, passion, the uncomplicated sexual release Brad never allowed himself to explore honestly with Lyn. That is the level of intimacy Brad avoided back then - because with Lyn, it would have meant something real, something he wasn’t ready to face. With Luke, the stakes are lower. The feelings don’t run nearly as deep, so Brad can take what Luke offers without the terror of losing someone he loves. And yes - Luke is a poor substitute. Brad knows it. That’s the whole point. There is simply no other person who looks at him the way Lyn did. Brad said it himself: “nobody looked at me as you did.” That line tells you everything. Even surrounded by this new trio, even with all the physical benefits and emotional distractions… Brad is still orbiting the same absence. He’s rebuilding a structure, not a relationship. The shape is familiar, but the center is missing. And the center was always Lyn. (3) I actually wondered the same thing at the beginning of the story - whether Brad simply assumed Lyn wouldn’t reciprocate. But as the chapters unfolded, the clues strongly suggest that Brad did know about Lyn’s feelings. He just didn’t know how to deal with them. And honestly, we should trust Alexander here...when it comes to reading his friends, he is rarely, if ever, wrong. If Alexander says Brad knew, then Brad knew. The problem was never ignorance. It was fear, timing, and two people who were experts at hiding behind walls.

Before answering @LeeSA's questions, let me share my view how to read the story... Ok, so, here is the key to reading Misaligned: Trust Alex’s words Trust Lyn’s instincts Trust Brad’s body language And here’s not a key but a survival manual for navigating this trio: Stay skeptical and extremely careful around a wounded Alexander. Whether he’s a puppy or a panther, a wounded animal is always a bad, bad thing. Never trust Lyn’s second thoughts - they’re designed to mislead even him. And absolutely never, EVER trust or follow Brad’s impulses. Not only can you get emotionally wrecked, but as we’ve seen… it can get life-threatening.

Thanks, guys...you’re both right. It’s not the first time one of @empath's chapters leaves me speechless. So, when I finally came back to comment, I ended up mixing up the names!

It’s amazing how a father’s instinct - that almost impulsive need to protect - emerges in José when his heroic son is called a f word. On many levels, this moment becomes a profound wake-up call for him. For the first time, his son stands up to him as a man, defending his beliefs. Then, that same son saves another boy’s life. Later, José is forced to hear the homophobic insults directed at Mark, realizing that this is the same hatred his son has been facing all his life. Above all, the thought of losing his son, even for a moment, is unbearable. Will José change his beliefs? No - his faith is deeply rooted in him. But he will find a way to accept and love his son for who he is.

He didn’t - this was a conversation between Dawn and Vince. Any lines not written from Gray’s POV are in italics, which is probably what caused the confusion with the letters to Bas.

I think the idea of being “led by primitive instincts” fits Brad more than Lyn. Brad often acts on immediate desire, ego, or self-interest, without much reflection - his mistakes are reactive and impulsive. Lyn, on the other hand, is misled not by instinct but by overthinking, emotional blind spots, and years of complicated feelings. His misjudgments come from complexity and self-deception, not from simple impulses.

I don’t believe Alexander would see Lyn’s intimacy as revenge. It’s partly self-punishment, yes - a way for Lyn to confront lingering feelings and confusion tied to Brad but it’s also a necessary act of exorcism. Brad’s shadow is still there, and that’s exactly why this step matters. Being with Alexander allows Lyn to process the past and reclaim his emotional agency. Alexander, as always, can read Lyn perfectly. He wouldn’t stop him completely, because he knows Lyn needs this release, but he’d guide things carefully. The heavier acts, like anal sex, will only happen when Lyn can approach them without the burden of old ghosts. Alexander balances letting Lyn confront the past with preserving the intimacy they’re building together.

As others, I can’t say I’m surprised...the signs were there all along - but even so, seeing it unfold was still a shock. Some betrayals always manage to sting, no matter how predictable they are. Mirroring between the two blowjobs - the scene is contrasting two forms of disconnection and projection, each exposing the emotional architecture of the characters. In the Alexander/Lyn scene, the act becomes an attempt at presence - Lyn is desperate to anchor himself in something real, to feel here, now, to turn mental chaos into bodily truth. In the Brad/Luke scene, the act is an exercise in absence - Brad’s body is present, but his mind is elsewhere, split between the physical and the performative... calling his fiancée while receiving pleasure from Luke. When Alexander asks Lyn whether he was thinking of Brad, Lyn’s honesty is radical - he was not thinking of Brad. This line is crucial because it redefines Lyn’s position in the triangle. For once, he’s not living through someone else’s shadow. His intimacy with Alexander isn’t contaminated by nostalgia or projection. Brad’s blowjob, on the other hand, is almost the grotesque mirror of Lyn’s. He’s physically involved with Luke - a man who adores him, who likely mistakes Brad’s attention for emotional reciprocity... yet Brad is on the phone with Belle, talking about marriage! Alexander's words from ch.15 sounds prophetic now: Also, if anyone is going to rain on his parade, it will be him.” ...Alexander shrugged. “Bradley has a bad habit of putting his foot in his mouth. Also, he doesn’t realize that it will always come around to bite him in the ass. Not that I’m surprised. After all, he’s not exactly bright.” Brad always ends up being his own downfall. He doesn’t need enemies; his own impulsiveness does the job perfectly. Brad's “messiness” is human, painfully so. It shows that his desire for Lyn didn’t disappear; it metastasized. He’s reliving Lyn’s absence in every act of duplicity, reenacting that triangle subconsciously. He’s the one who can’t stop reproducing the triangle - now with Belle and Luke, because he never metabolized what happened with Lyn. His life becomes a choreography of repression. This is interesting - Luke meant to humiliate Lyn but ended up liberating him. That’s one of the most psychologically elegant turns in the chapter - an act of cruelty that becomes an accidental mercy. What makes this scene powerful is the moral inversion. Luke sets a trap to embarrass Lyn - but Lyn walks away wiser. He leaves not as a loser, but as someone who finally sees Brad as a man of flesh and weakness - not as a golden idol or a lost love. The humiliation becomes an antidote to obsession. Lyn's no longer competing for Brad’s love; he’s mourning what never existed. There’s also rich irony in Luke’s position. He imagines himself the winner... the one who “has” Brad now, but in truth, he’s the most disposable person in the room. Brad isn’t thinking of him, not really. He’s performing his duplicity while fantasizing about someone else. “But the signs had been there all along, hadn’t they? What signs? Was he blind?” The passage isn’t only about Brad, it’s about Lyn’s pattern - his blindness is self-protective, the same blindness that let him idealize Brad, misunderstand Alexander, and suppress his own instincts. This moment is where that long-standing psychological scaffolding collapses. Lyn has a sharp intuition - his instincts are almost flawless, and that’s exactly what makes him such a good lawyer. We saw it before, when he caught that fleeting moment between Brad and another man in previous chapter; at the time, it seemed like jealousy, but now it’s clear he sensed something real. That’s what he learned growing up with his mother - to observe, to notice. The tragedy is that his own mind keeps betraying him. His defenses, his self-protection mechanisms, make him doubt what his instincts already know. So, the rule seems to be - always trust Lyn’s inner voice before his brain starts rationalizing it away. I honestly don’t know what to think about Brad anymore. Yes, he’s selfish, manipulative, and reckless - all that is true, but some things are still left open. Alexander hinted that Brad knew about Lyn’s crush back in college, and given everything we’ve seen, it’s hard to deny it. The question is - what were his thoughts and feelings back then? If he simply used Lyn’s affection to get help with studies, then why invite him now, years later, to the wedding? Why insist on reuniting their trio if Lyn was just convenient? The explanation doesn’t quite fit. The other possibility is that he didn’t reciprocate because he was straight - but after what we’ve just witnessed with Luke, that argument falls apart. So maybe Brad did have feelings for Lyn but didn’t know how to respond to them. Maybe his arrogance and recklessness are masks for insecurity - perhaps, in his own confused way, he idolized Lyn just as Lyn once idolized him. And that’s what makes him such a fascinating mess of a character - he keeps circling around Lyn emotionally, too cowardly or too self-deluded to admit what he really feels.

He was too busy getting blown by his future brother-in-law.

Learning Elisha was keeping a pet behind his back, and that he had obviously discovered masturbation, had been upsetting. Not just because of the disobedience and disrespect, but because it meant the thing Hosea was most proud of in his life, his near perfect son, was largely a fantasy. How was he going to face his wife or their pastor? His son’s sins ultimately reflected on him as Elisha's father. O tempora, o mores!

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices-mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law-justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel” (Mathew 23:23-24)

And please, remove the “anal” tag - don’t mislead the poor horny souls! The only “anal” thing in your story was Veronica’s mouth! 😄