IceBerg - 18. Chapter 18

He stood there at the airport gate, a beautiful toothy grin blossoming on his face. He was standing taller and held up the sign higher with my name on. He almost looked like he was about to go on his tiptoes and jump around like an excited kid. He was all fresh faced and smooth looking while I was carrying heavy black bags under my eyes and a thick dirty jumper.

‘You really don’t travel well, do you?’ he grinned, almost laughing.

In one smooth movement, he swept the suitcase from under hand and dragged it behind us.

‘If he respected you, he’d come out in the relationship.’

‘You okay, Nathanial?’ his smile didn’t faulter but the concern still came through.

I sighed, rubbing my eyes, ‘Longest day of my life.’

Alex laughed as we began to walk out of the airport.

‘You didn’t have to pick me up,’ I said, almost sheepish.

‘Nonsense!’

The manual doors opened for us and the bright light hit my gremlin eyes.

I was still rubbing my face while Alex waved down a taxi. The light was too bright and the humid made me feel like a gross sweat monster and I was too tired to take in the rest of the scenery.

‘I can’t wait to show you the hotel, it’s incredible,’ he opened the taxi door for me.

His face was so handsome. I let myself into the taxi while Alex put the suitcase into the back of the taxi.

                                                                  ***

Alex was not kidding about the hotel. The large windows gave a graceful view of aqua blue calm pool, our own little pool, and white pillars of marble with steps surrounding, polish grey and white.

I turned around to see the rest of the room, a large walk in closet area, a large double bed, sheets tidied but still crumpled from one side of the bed. The pillows were round with silk sheets. The latest T.V model was hanging like a frame upon the wall; the art works of skilled photographers hung around the room like back up supporters of the T.V.

A knock on the door startled us both, and Alex walked over to open it.

‘Got to get ready in ten minutes, Alex,’ that was his coach’s voice.

He just nodded back and closed the door.

I didn’t know what to say.

Alex turned around and tilted his head, ‘Show time soon.’

He was nervous. I walked over and grasped his hands into mine. He looked more startled. I pulled him towards me and hugged him tight. He hugged back.

‘Go get your medal, AJ,’ I said.

I rested my head against his chest. I could feel a tight breath leave his body. He pulled back and kissed me.

Charlie. No, I wouldn’t think about that.

I curved my hand around his neck and deepened the kiss. He tasted so good. He wrapped an arm around my waist and another around my cheek. He pushed back onto the bed and his kisses deepened.

I pulled away and whispered, ‘We don’t have time.’

He nibbled my lip and sighed, ‘I hate when you are right.’

                                                                       ***

‘You’re struggling with that?’ Alex’s voice echoed through the ajar bathroom door.

‘I got it,’ I grumbled, messing with my tie.

The door opened more and Alex strode in. He had won silver, it was amazing to see, to witness him powering through. He was so gracious as well to the other competitors. Everyone really loved him.

‘Come on,’ he smiled, reaching his hands forward.

I pulled away, ‘Just because you got a medal, doesn’t mean you are tie expect.’

‘Actually, it means I am an expert in everything,’ he spun me back around, yanked my tie towards him and his lips landed on mine.

I was so lost in the moment, that he fastened the tie up. He gave me a cheeky grin before walking out the bathroom.

‘All you got left are your shoes,’ he called back. ‘Think you can handle it?’

My phone buzzed on the table. I glanced at it from the mirror, hoping it was just my brain glitch again.

It wasn’t. Charlie.

‘Hope you got there safe, hope the suitcase is good for you!’

‘Come on, keep up the pretence,’ sneered Jake.

‘I am sure you can,’ Alex was back behind the door. But he saw my face and the smile dropped from his face. ‘Nathanial?’

I reached up to my face and it was wet. Was I crying? What the hell?

Looking away, I wiped my cheeks with the back of my palm and walked past Alex.

His hand captured my shoulder as I walked past, and I froze.

‘We don’t have to go if you don’t.’

‘No,’ I almost snapped back. I cleared my throat, trying to soften my voice. ‘I really do want to go.’

‘Don’t say nothing is up,’ I heard my own words I told him from nights ago echoed back at me.

‘Look,’ I said, walking away, sitting on the bed, putting my shoes in front of me. ‘Why don’t you go down to the after party without me and I will catch up in ten minutes. I swear.’

‘Well, that’s not happening,’ he leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

Still holding one black shoe in my hand, I said, ‘I will join you Alex, you will just have a head start on the fun.’

‘Nothing is fun without you, Nathanial.’

He sounded so sincere, like he meant every word and it melted into my skin, my bones. He was talented, so good, so pure. I put the shoe on the ground and gritted my teeth hard.

The bed dipped with his large frame as he sat next to me.

I turn my head away, rubbing my face. Was I crying? I couldn’t tell. I couldn’t feel it.

‘Don’t be upset, Nat,’ he rubbed my shoulders.

I closed my eyes and all I could see was Charlie

‘What happened Nathanial? Is it Charlie?’

I stared at the floor. I couldn’t tell him.

‘That is the easy way to do it,’ Jake sneered.

‘Aha!’ I pulled away from Alex and stood up. I walked towards the wall, leaning against it with my forehead. I could feel Alex’s questioning eyes on me.

How could I say this?

I opened my mouth to tell him the truth about Charlie. But I couldn’t. Those awful words I couldn’t let them hang in the air.

‘Come on the easy way out, Nathanial!’

‘Nathanial. Nathanial.’

‘Scumbag.’

I forced myself to look up to meet Alex’s eyes. His face was just frozen as if he knew what I was going to say.

In a sudden, he strode over and snatched me into his arms. I was in such shock at him holding me, it took me a while to wrap my own arms around him.

He carried on holding me tight.

‘If you want to end things, we can, it’s up to…’ the words were stumbling out in a hurry.

‘Nathanial, it’s okay, it’s okay,’ he hushed into my head.

He leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead and the words slithered back down my throat, burning up into ash.

I couldn’t tell him.

Alex paused for a while, before taking my hand and walking me to the bed. We sat down on the edge.

‘What I would like to though, is to show my boyfriend off to the world.’

I snapped my head up at him, ‘Alex?’

‘It’s about time anyway,’ he cleared his throat and stood up tall. ‘I’m the only one who won a medal from our team tonight. I won’t hide anymore.’

I bowed my head down and slip my feet into the shoes.

‘You’re only going to see Charlie at work and nothing more else, right?’ he said more than asked.

I nodded.

Standing up, we both went the hotel door.

‘Ready?’ he smiled.

I nodded, ‘This is your night, Alex.’

As we walked along the corridor, towards the flashes of spark lights, and the glitter of excitement, Alex leaned over and slipped his hand into mine. He was holding tight. Quite tight. It hurt a little bit. I almost wanted to look over at him, wanting to almost pull away.

But he gripped even harder and my hand was beginning to feel a little crushed

                                                                       ***

‘Hi.’

I met the eye of a coy Sharon. I nodded at her and walked over, folding my jacket under my arm. Ah, so she saw the news then. Not the most flattering photos but this was what Alex wanted.

I gave her a sheepish grin, and said, ‘Hey, Sharon.’

She asked, ‘Did you enjoy your time away, Mr…?’

A group of my co-workers walked past murmuring amongst themselves. I looked at Sharon and we both almost rolled our eyes.

I leaned forward, ‘Yeah. Sorry if I’ve made out that I, you know.’

‘Oh, shush,’ she patted my arm and winked at me. ‘If I am going to lose to a guy, he is a damn fine guy to lose to.’

I couldn’t help but chuckle, ‘You know what, I’ve actually missed you, Sharon.’

Another bunch of people went quiet going passed me; the murmuring went low. I could feel them staring.

I rubbed my face and Sharon gave me a sympathetic look, ‘The tragedy of being the partner of a recently outed popular athlete will do that.’

‘Women will hate for me a while, right?’

‘How do you know women won’t hate Alex W. Scott, you know you are good looking yourself.’

‘You are possibly my favourite person here, right now,’ I smiled, leaning off her reception desk. All the nerves rattling inside me before I came into the building were leaving my system.

I needed to appreciate Sharon more.

‘Well, you know Alex has a friend in his swimming, his team mate,’ I raised an eyebrow at her.

She clicked her tongue and swished her blonde ponytail, ‘You trying to set me up, Nathanial?’

‘Oh, so you don’t want a date with a tall man with muscles?’

She grinned at me, stretched forward and wrote her number down. I typed what she wrote down into my phone and gave her a wink.

I added, ‘We should hang out more, I don’t have many friends.’

How did I sound like a confident guy and a loser at the same time?

She laughed ‘Oh, that’s desperate.’ She thought I was being funny. Thank goodness.

Desperate?

I cocked a sly grin and said to her, ‘A DH?’

Her eyes widened, ‘You love that show? Oh my gosh! That is my favourite.’

A hard slap between my shoulder blades was a shock and I turned my head to the side.

‘You got to be in work, buddy, those scripts won’t write themselves,’ said a familiar voice.

‘Charlie be nice,’ Claire stood beside me and scolded him. She let go of his arm and kissed his cheek.

Sharon leaned off the counter, straightening her back, ‘Good morning, guys.’

‘Morning, Sharon,’ Claire said. Her smile was so cheerful it beamed off her skin. She linked her arm into mine, ‘Good morning, stud. Your arm is so much easier to hold onto then Charlie’s.’

I laughed, bowing my head down.

Charlie appeared the other side of me, fresh faced. I caught his eye for a second and my mouth went dry. My head pounded, his lips, Claire’s smile.

He punched my arm, hard, ‘Good thing you got Alex.’

I rolled my head and smirked, ‘I still think you should be worried.’

‘He’s right, babe,’ whispered Claire. ‘Come on, Nathanial, us low key workers got to get to work while Charlie just sits and does nothing.’

I nodded over to Sharon before walking off with Claire. I tried to concentrate on her chatting, but I noticed that Charlie got a new haircut. It was styled more. It looked good. Good for him. Smart.

                                                                              ***

We were play--fighting after I beat Alex on the Xbox.

Alex grinned up at me and folded his arm. I knew he could easily push me off. Made me love him more when he just played along. He held his hands up, teasing me, I noticed one of his hands, his knuckles looked a little red, like cuts or dry skin. Almost bruised.

‘You got me,’ he said, sitting up suddenly, wrapping his arms around my waist. He gave me a long sweet kiss before pulling away.

‘I still would like to set them up, you never know,’ I cleared my throat. ‘She may get your friend to settle. Crazier things have happened. besides, I like Sharon.’

‘I will ask,’ he said. ‘But if you like Sharon, do you really want to set her up?’

‘I will warn her, that seems fair,’ I paused. ‘I like Claire too. I haven’t had female friends for ages, I am not going to lie, I am enjoying it.’

‘I could never get on with girls. Not that I didn’t try, I just seemed to open my mouth and five minutes later they’d get all annoyed and leave.’

‘You annoy people?’

He grinned at me and flipped me around, so now he was on top of me, pinning me down, his hands resting on my wrist.

We both stared at each other, like wild eyed fools.

My phone vibrated. I blinked and I sat up, Alex slid off me. the phone screen flashed so yes, real text message this time.

‘You should read that,’ commented Alex, picking up the controller.

‘Don’t worry about it,’ I said.

He frowned and my stomach knotted up.

I sighed and shrugged, ‘Charlie is probably just texting me about tomorrow.’

‘Tomorrow?’

‘We are having a meeting with these producers about the script.’

‘That is huge!’

I started laughing as he tackled me down, pinning me down, the laughter roaring out of my chest.

‘I might not even.’

‘Shut it, you,’ he lingered his finger on top of my lips. ‘Your number one fan knew you would reach success. Enjoy it at all.’

He then raised his eyebrows, ‘You should answer that text. Charlie is your writing partner.’

‘Um,’ I could barely say anything as his fingers left my face. Alex leaned his head into the crook of my neck. His fresh smell lit up my nose.

‘I will text him in a minute,’ I murmured. ‘You definitely going to give your friend Sharon’s number.’

‘You know you should give her Oli’s number,’ I could feel his voice vibrating against my neck. ‘You know them two would get on well.’

We laughed and it was quiet. I didn’t dare reach for my phone yet.

                                                                    ***

Okay, it was nearly eleven am. I stared hard at the screen. The cold coffee smell was stale in the air.

I couldn’t focus, I rewrote the same word a few times over and forgot about grammar. I looked around. Everyone else at work was typing away, focused. I stared back at the screen.

Why couldn’t I be like that? Completely focused. Brain working at a hundred percent.

I glanced over my shoulder, seeing Claire’s empty seat. She was always in meetings.

Was this what it would be like for me, if this script went well? Creative business. What had I let myself into?

This was a huge mistake. I was an idiot.

‘Nathanial Greystone?’

There was a woman, middle aged and bored, standing at the door of the room calling my name. Everyone looked over at me.

I should have been used to it by now. Ever since those photos came out, Alex had had more interview offers and I had been getting more stares than before. But still, should be old news soon and things could go back to normal. This was good for Alex now though. He came out, I should be happy.

In a clumsy effort, I banged my knee and grabbed at all my papers and my backpack, juggling them into my arms, rushing towards the door.

The small woman who called my name said nothing else to me. She turned her heel and walked. I followed.

We arrived in a small cut off room with glass walls, inside were two chairs. She opened the door for me.

I rushed in, mumbling, ‘Thanks.’

Sitting down, I bent down to put my backpack under the chair.

‘Hey Nathan! Are you feeling ready, buddy?’

The stupid grin was automatic on my face and I lifted my head. I saw Charlie come into the room and the smile was iced off my face.

‘Charlie.’

‘I know it’s nerve wracking, Nathanial, but if you let me talk, we got this in the bag,’ he grinned, sitting next to me. ‘Piper and Grant are awesome, well, she is a ball buster, but in a good way. She’s tough, she had so many surgeries and Grant is basically a gentle giant.’

My dug my fists into my pocket to stop myself from reaching out and touching his sore black eye.

‘Charlie,’ I tried again.

‘I know, I know, it’s not good, but it’s just bad luck that’s all,’ he interrupted. ‘Claire’s make up did not help at all, did it. Ha, ha. They are looking at the work, not us.’

‘Well,’ my voice was dry. I couldn’t stop staring.

The dark bruising under his eyebrow and the swelling was aching to look at. The purple and blue looked harsh under the light.

I looked away and said, ‘No one likes you anyway, so it wouldn’t have made a difference anyway.’

‘You never know,’ he nudged me and winked. ‘Might get a sympathy vote.’

‘Now you talk and chat like friends. Like it never happened. Maybe it didn’t. You could have just dreamt it’ chortled Jake.

I cleared my throat and stamped my feet on the ground. I said, ‘Or they may tell you to get a refund on that new haircut.’

I smirked at him before looking around this strange waiting room.

‘Screw you.’

‘You wish,’ I retorted.

We both laughed, but it was a short laugh, dying out into the silence.

‘Crap, sorry,’ I mumbled, leaning forward, my knee jiggling.

‘Says the famous bitch of Alex W. Scott.’

I turned my head to him, and he was smirking now, almost laughing to himself.

‘Is that what everyone is saying?’

‘Mostly just me. You’re definitely on the table for jokes this week on the panel,’ he pulled a face. ‘Nothing homophobic. You know that.’

‘What jokes?’ I tried to laugh.

‘Just that my best friend is now tapping a hot athlete and that he still writes my jokes.’

‘Your jokes are lame.’

‘Yeah.’

He was still smiling but he stared straight ahead.

‘You should put some ice of your eye,’ I said.

‘It looks worse that what it is, Nathanial,’ he shook his head ‘Nathanial. It’s just an accident. I did it to myself. Plus, the ice is so cold, I hate it. I know it’s supposed to be cold. But it’s the worst.’

‘I’ve been punched too, Charlie, I know.’

He opened his mouth to disagree when the door opened. We both stood up, straightening our shirts out.

                                                                                    ***

Piper wheeled herself from around the desk as Grant began to unpack all the paperwork.

‘Sorry, guys, I don’t normally answer the phone that much,’ Grant sat back down. He had a round face with thin glasses and calming tone.

‘Is everything okay?’ Charlie asked, his voice soft.

The woman next to him chuckled, ‘Do not worry about that, Conray.’

Grant, who was relaxed and merry earlier, looked like he was about to cry. The woman, Piper, placed her hand on top of his for a moment before attending to the papers on the desk. He smiled and cleared his throat. I noticed they were both wearing bands of gold on their fingers.

‘We want to know more about the target audience,’ Piper said, her beady blue eyes sharp straight at me. Her black hair was scrapped back, and her face was sharp.

I stumbled with my words, ‘I, um, it’s for, ah.’

‘Young audience. Eighteen over,’ Charlie was quick with his reply.

She didn’t take her eyes off me. My skin felt itchy, it was hard not to wiggle and squirm under the strain.

‘I actually, um’ Grant interrupted, rustling the papers in front of him. ‘Piper and I both enjoyed it.

I smiled, my shoulders relaxing.

‘However, there were some scenes I got a bit confused on,’ said Piper.

My chest tightened again.

Grant sniffed and pulled his glasses down his nose as he read from the papers, ‘Yes, I was going to mention that.’

‘But you both enjoyed it?’ Charlie pointed out.

‘Hm,’ the woman tilted her head.

‘Which scenes?’ my voice was barely a croak from being hidden in my throat for so long.

‘The third stadium scene, page three, scene one,’ the woman was quick, her tone still sharp as she flicked to the page.

‘We, um, thought, it would be better if the lady wasn’t in that scene,’ Grant said. ‘If she could appear later.’

‘Yes, yes that could work,’ Charlie nodded.

My stomach tightened.

Should have eaten something that morning.

It was so weird, professionals gazing over at my work. Like it was something serious and not something I wrote while eating noodles in my pants. They kept asking questions and I could not answer them. I couldn’t answer why one character liked mango juice and why one had purple glasses.

‘That’s just part of the character,’ is all I could say. There was no symbolic gesture.

‘I do love how simplified it is,’ the woman commented at my one scene.

‘I thought the actor who plays Sam's friend, should be blonde not dark haired, thought it would show more of family heritage,’ Grant commented.

‘You guys are going to be on set, right?’ asked Charlie.

‘I’ll be about,’ Piper gave a short smile.

My stomach growled and its squelching echoed around the room. It was still going. I shuffled in my seat.

‘Well, ma’am, it sounds like you guys are on board if you are thinking of getting actors already,’ Charlie flashed his cheeky boy grin.

The woman stared hard at us before reaching a hand towards me.

‘Congratulations, gentlemen.’

‘They’ll put anything on T.V now,’ hissed Jake. ‘It’s nothing important. Not important. This is a joke. Not real.’

‘Making stuff up.’

‘Come back to reality.’

I was quick to stand up and reached forward to shake her hand. She then reached for Charlie’s hand.

I liked her.

Grant gave a soft laugh, ‘She will pick a bone with you, Conray.’

‘I’m not sexist,’ he held his hands up. ‘Right, Nathanial?’

I gave a loud dramatic whisper to them both, ‘So homophobic, too.’

Grant chuckled away while Piper smiled and folded her arms.

I put an arm around Charlie’s shoulders and smacked a hard kiss on his cheek. I said, ‘No, we’re really good friends, Charlie works very hard.’

I patted his arm before letting go. Charlie went quiet, just smiling.