JJQuinn

Thank you !!! I appreciate that. Sexy scenes are a chore but erotic romances and all I'm glad you saw it through !

How did I not see this? I'm sorry. Wrll chapter 5 is up and the story is finished. Again sorry for the lack of response ❤️

Inspiration Playlist for Halos and Heroes: These are just the songs that inspired the series, especially Halos and Heroes. The other novels will have some of the same songs but also their own dependent on the character. Bleed it Out - Vitamin String Quartet (when Sam first comes home) Leave Out All the Rest - Vitamin String Quartet (When Sam first comes home) Enigma – Trapt Numb – Vitamin String Quartet Chop Suey – System of a Down (Flashback scene to combat) R

LIAM gasped, his own hands dropping to Gabriel’s hips to drag him closer, his thighs parting around the leg Gabriel wedged between them. He kissed back, giving as good as he got. When Gabriel’s gray eyes had turned to gunmetal smoke after Liam had embraced his inner sex bunny, Liam had felt all powerful. Now, with Gabriel trying to swallow him from the mouth down, Liam felt like a god. Since the beginning of time, jokes had been made about how repressed and awkward some intelligent, sociall

Lol dude....trying to finish JKS in between so many other real world issues. But it's coming! [And they will too. Eventually 😆]

Yes they do and in Max and Romans novel, she is a very prominent part of it since she and Max are roommates and the parallels are there between her relationship with Nate as you mentioned. Max is loyal to a fault and fights hard for his people. But letting them in is easier when it's a platonic loce and he and Tara just click. Lots of shenanigans with those two lol. The wonderful thing about books is we can love and hate the stories, agree and disagree in equal measure but as long as it gets a reaction and emotional connection of some kind I feel I hit the mark as a writer. I can see why you'd disagree with Tara based on this interaction with Max but like I said before, there's so many psychological components in these novels and they don't all link up just so the connections as a reader are harder to see. As the author i already have all the stories mapped out so I know where they're going, and also know that not all of the pieces will make sense yet. The characters continue to grow and change with new aspects of their lives as they go through them. So eventually it should make more sense but for now, Maxs got issues 😆. You'll see more of that in his novel though I'm sure you read his POV in JFH so you already see those planted seeds. He and Sam did and do love one another but love isn't always enough especially in complicated relationships. They both need people to ground them in different ways and their individual personalities just don't allow for it. Sam needs a constant support that's velvet covered steel. Max needs something similar but someone more, as Tara says likely to tell him to shut up, sit down and take a breath as needed because he doesn't always allow that for himself. Sam was a leader in the military and he's not a doormat in any way out of it. But he's not as harsh eith Max as he sometimes should be because they do love one another. In Maxs story a lotmof their problems and awkwardness wiill be worked out once Max starts to move on. Which will be tough for him. Obviously he's a happy hedonist [and lord almighty his and Romans story is tough in that aspect because sex scenes are always a chore for me to wrote and in their novel, there's a ALOT OF IT. Basically starts off early on with a lot of HELLO not the slow build of Sam and Ben. Max often uses sex to turn off and keep distance. Ironic since hello....nakedness doesn't seem like a way to detach from intimacy. In his brain it makes sense though. Roman is both 180 from Ben and yet in some ways very similar. He has a harder past and already the OCD tendencies are showing. They'll be explained more later in time. But Max is similar in how he keeps his apartment and the long hours in the ER because when busy, he doesn't need to really examine his life or the issues he has with his own father. Which will be explored later. Again... preplanned reasons 😉 The segue JFH was originally already written and was what prompted the revision of Halos 4 years after the fact, and subsequently wrote itself in a way I wasn't expecting so JFH had to be adjusted and parts taken out that didn't make sense anymore. Roman's chapter is the only one that has sex in it. Very very detailed sex lol which is off at the end of a novel. But it speaks to aspects of their relationship eventually, and sets the scene for their novel which takes place about six months after Sam and Ben's wedding. Essentially what happens between them in that chapter is where their novel picks up when they meet again. The sex can be slipped over though there's a lot of internal and external dialogue worked in it because it's how I roll, but readers can pick through it if they prefer and sill get the gist because a lot of it will be revisited in their story. ❤️

I agree!

Thank you again for such a carefully crafted response ❤️. Sam went the opposite direction of Connor: he used all that rage to move forward and yet did he really? He tried Of course but in his way he did what Connor did- hid from his past. Once he and Connor broke ties he could've gone home, but his self-loathing and the fear Connor drummed up in him trapped him so he became a hero...but unless they're superman, heroes are fallible and usually very human. So he was foolish about it and pushed away. My husband and I listened to a podcast that had a former operative on it. Obviously even retired he couldn't discuss specifics but he said that all of them no matter how stoic and steady they seem on the outside, eventually develop issues and often turn to substance abuse of some kind to cope with the memories and nightmares because we as humans aren't designed to kill and after so many missions and even more dead at your hand, it cracks even the most disciplines. Fortunately, as you pointed out, Tara and Ben and even Sofia [and of course Emma]didn't let him run this time. Ben is his great lover. Tara is just loyal, has a good bitch slap lol and even better hugs. She eventually gets her own short story though she will pop up continually in the other planned novels which are all intertwined in some way even as the main protagonists swap out from their supporting character status. A lot of things that may not be perfectly wrapped up in Halos will continue to be explored in other stories through the eyes and POVs of other characters since we don't always tell our own stories, just our own thoughts and versions of events. The people around us usually have a hand in shaping us as we grow and hopefully mature in life. The entire Finding Home series will be stories about doing just that: finding redemption and peace in yourself as needed. Most won't be as devastating as Sam, but if you started the segue you'll see that the seeds are planted, especially for Tara, Max and Roman. Sloane was supposed to be the main love interest for Tara but when I did this revision which wrote itself much much differently than the original, it didn't work so she will have a new one by the time her story comes around though Fiona hasn't been introduced yet. Whelan will have his own story as well-- seeds planted when he told Sam about the death of his first partner. His live interest hasn't been I produced yet but Carter, a surfer and baker, has his own past and of course the fact he's a baker and Tara loves her sweets, will circle back because she and Whelan often rub in the same circles with working with the police, and he and Sam will continue to become close friends as the stories progress. Cayden will also have his own story. Again we haven't formally met the characte, but Ben mentioned him to Sam in passing as the music therapist who rides around on his sports bike with his cat in a motorcycle helmet and harness lol. The stories are all already mapped out though they will obviously take years to finish in the meanwhile others will pop up 😉 Max....such a polarizing character because he was a mess but again, there's a psychological component not seen ad much here. In the segue piece after this, JFH you'll see a lot more of that complicated headspace of his even though he hides it so much better than most. Most of his story is plotted out. About a third already finished with a whole new cast of supporting characters as well as interactions with the old ones of course. He will eventually get it together. Just not their yet. Unlike Sam who was broken and held up by Max in many ways until Ben came along and took over in a way that out the pieces back together like Max couldn't, Max HAS TO BE BROKEN in order to open up to someone romantically because it requires trust. He's not there yet. He and Sam had a codependent component to their relationship though he loves hard when he does love [Sam. Sofia . Adellyn and of course Emm] which readers will see a little more of in his and Roman's story. Thank you again for reading and commenting. Writers need feedback so much. It might not affect preplanned stories but it always puts ideas and new thoughts into your head for the future. @Cane23 knows that well 😉

Thank you for that we'll thought our response and the time it took you to write it 😀. You hit the nail on the head with Connor. I try to make my characters as realistic as possible [usually throwing some human psychology in there. Needed to do something with that dual degree i otherwise donr use much ] with their foibles, insecurities and flaws. Most of the time, their other character traits balance them out or they they redeem themselves. Halos is the first book I wrote like that because it's just how it had to work out in order for Sam to eventually move forward. Victims of abuse usually grow up damaged in some way even if the abuse wasn't physical [though in their case it was]. Theres a certain level of codeodency usuaully. Most generally push forward and figure things out though the scars never really go away even if they're not visible on the surface. As far as Connor there was a point [I don't recall which chapter] where he reflects on being a kid and telling Connor to think of their parents fighting -moms screaming and fathers beating- like the noise of fireworks. Scary but temporary essentially. Then he remembers that Connor said he thought of those sounds more like bombs. The writing was always on the wall. Just a self fulfilling prophecy because he couldn't get over his anger and selfl-loathing that only got worse when he continued the cycle and pattern of domestic abuse. Was he a monster? Yes because of what he did. Was he an extremely damaged human being whonprobably found more peace in death than life? Probably. Max hits it best in his chapter where he says that Connor or isn't a hero or a villian, just a closeted gay man who can't find peace and is always at war with himself. Of course Connor also points out some truths there.... I am so happy you enjoyed the story. I kept getting notifications that's you'd commented on a chapter and just though "wow they're really ripping through this lol. I hope they find it worth it!" It seems you did, and I'm so grateful and appreciative ❤️ 2

Thanks @Anton_Cloche I aappreciate the follow since the beginning. It was quite the year. but with the new one ahead of us hopefully it's more stories and beginnings. Lots of future stories to be told for sure. Sam and Ben are over as protagonists after JFH but as you said, many more stories to be written. Max and Roman are just 2 of many of the romances planned in this little universe where finding yourself sometimes started with finding home 😉

And I'm soooo glad you appreciate the slight pettiness. We are all human and thats the point of the entire series honestly. All the character arcs have a certain level of redemptive choices in their love stories. I wish if had the time to wrote the chapter for the other secondary characters, but they'll slowly unfikd as things go along.

Thank you again for the feedback! It's due to be a series where the main character love story changes, but other characters from Halos keep popping up in different ways and differing degrees because they're all a unit in some ways. The whole degrees of separation thing so none of the stories are ever A-Z in one go. Sam and Ben are going to become daddies so that will end up in Max’s novel with Roman. So will AJ and Sofia. Tara won't meet her lady love till her book though it starts building in Max's. Cayden's future love interest has already been mentioned but he won't make a true appearance till Taras story. So Sam and Max will definitely chat. It's planned. Like you said it's not the time right now. It's a day for him and Ben and Max is just too raw right now. Where...Roman comes in.... that will have some major smutty disclaimers but it leads to how their novel begins essentially so it may seem like whoa! Smut that doesn't belong here at the end! But it does 😆... I usually map out my stories in advance and write the outline then just fill in the blanks as I go. I hope you'll keep reading along till this is finished and other pieces are done in the future ❤️

Thanks so much!. I've mentioned before that I intended to do a chapter that was split between Sofia and several other characters, but I just don't have the time or energy [still getting over some nasty viral things that has thrown my MS symptons into high gear again including nerve issues and double vision so I can't write/type well. I had this piece finished. It just needs revising, but its 80 Microsoft word pages sooooo to do it before the years end... that's my intention--to finish this and, Just Keep Swimming. This is just the assumed "season" in this series. All the books will have overlap between the characters so Sofia and AJ will get their spray easier that way. AJ was never part of the original so he and Sofia didn't exist. It's working itself out slowly. Thank you for reading along!!! ❤️

Thank you Cane I try to avoid melodramatic moments but it can be a tough line to walk on when writing dramas especially ones based heavily around family. This isn't the end of the series! Lol just the end of Sam and Ben's story as the main storyline. The characters in the gallery album will be making appearances throughout the other books. Sam and Ben end up in Maxs book and somdo Tara obviously, the mistakes, AJ and Sofia. Cayden will ad well and the misfits. Each novel will focus on a different character. We can call this the end of "season 1" 😆. Season 2 is Max and Roman, then Tara etc. I have 5 books planned. Tara is 2.2 Whelan is 2. Cayden is 4. A South of the characters woll sort of roll between the stories and of feel new characters will pop up 😀 Last chapter..oye.. smutty as heck [and why some melodramatic moments lol] so it's not my finest one but it will lead into the next novel and it give some insight into Romans head since Maxs will be the only point of view in AIBO. It's also long as heck so I have to do the revision to alignment it with the revised Halos. Fibgers crossed!

Thank you so much, @Jjeffalch! Yeah people tend to love Ben 😆 It was like that in the original as well. I thi know readers associate him with the "perfect man." I hope you will! I write fluffy things too. Not always so serious. I'm hoping to finish Just Keep Swimming before the end of the year too. It Endless meant as a piece for the In Too Deep anthology, but i found out about it too late. Since the last chapter is mostly smutty and those parts are always tough for me to finish. So I've been putting it off. But it needs to be finished. I want to focus on the longer pieces I have mapped out but not written like Coloring Outside the Lines and All in Balls Out. Thanks again for your comments and support!

Thanks as always for your thoughts @CincyKris. Religion is always a tricky topic. I am a Christian, but I became one later in life when God saved me after just so many difficulties. Didn't think I deserved it yet He's never failed me. I am often told I'm not a true Christian because I question aspects of the bible which was inspired by God yes but written by men and we all know how stories can change when rewritten over and over--look at the game of telephone. I NEVER doubt that God is Love and that's always his ultimate message. He wants us however he can get us. Havign gay relatives I struggle with the idea that God wouldn't welcome them home when I feel His grace and I've done and experienced things in my own past that should close the door to His love in my face. But He's still there. So, I guess in this sense, Patrick was a bit of me heh... But I'm glad it was able to give you a different viewpoint to consider since it's the backbone of Sam and Ben's story and would be hard to get through otherwise. Thank you. I'm sorry. You must get just as stiff in the winter and cold Never fun.

FH: Just Found Heaven - Chapter 5 -- Sam and Ben (split POV's) Sam "Gone all my life worried about my soul... Brimstone and fire, stories I've been told... Then I saw grace right before my eyes... I should break through those gates and fall from the sky... I hate to let you down, hate to let you down, no hate to say it now, hate to say it now, but hm I don't really care where I go when I die... 'Cause I just found heaven... You can tell the devil that he's wasting his time, oh 'cause I

Oh @Jjeffalch, I appreciate that so much! You have no idea! ❤️ This chapter was actually what prompted the revision of Halos into what it is now-4 years after it was posted elsewhere. I couldn't mind Roman and Max as clearly in my through for their novel and someone had suggested a wedding epilogue for Halos so I thought heavy 2 birds, 1 stone. And airport it just became so much bulk than the short piece I intended and I got were mind Ben much more clearly so he wasn't as goodie goodie lol. He fought demons to get here so he knows Sam can be his happy ending long before Sam does. He's no years to process. Sam is growing. He has Cayden as a sort of pseudo baby brother who he will take under his wing so the cycle of redemption and healing continues. Sooo 😆....the original segue did NOT have POV for Sofia, Cayden or Addie and Whelan and AJ didn't exist. I had planned to write a chapter that was all 5 of their POV in one but with time constraints and nerve issues flaring again I'm not sure I can make it happen. Its a series though. Sam and Ben were just the first and their story set the scene with all the other characters. But pinned characters will also get their own stories and they are so intertwines with stared another that they overlap into each other's novels so we will get Sofia's story eventually that way. The planned novels for the stared day future are in order, Max and Roman [All in Balls Out. FH book 2], Taras story (which will have a new love interest not Sloane because my brain is always working lol and I had an AH HAH moment] Sweet Cherry Chapstick. Bk 2.5 [it's a shorter novella], Whelan and Carters story, Like a Hurricane. Bk 3 [haven't met Carter yet] and finally Cayden and Ren [also haven't met him yet though he's been mentioned in passing] in Sound and Color. Bk 4. So eventually, all stories will be easier and things pop up like in many and Roman, the barbecue baby shower for sam and Ben... I hope you keep reading and think you seconds for probably one of the top tier compliments I've Afghanistan this year. Love you guys!

Thanks @cane23 I have told you before that Ben irked the heck out of ny in the original, publisher published copy because required timelines and word counts forced me to keep it short and ironically the readers HATED IT. And I get why. It bias made Ben a infrequently and Sam a mess who got his redemption at the very end. They didn't have the strong dynamic they did now and the secondary characters were ghosts of who they are now. So Ben needed to be a little less goodie goodie holy in a way that made sense. His pov in the segue helped me see him, max and roman much more clearly so I'm glad that's translating now. It's led to a series! There are a lot of parallels in his past to how he was with Sam so I agree it makes more sense. He grew up hard then found redemption so he was able to offer that to Sam now. And Sam...well there is Cayden 😉 The circle continues. I almost don't want to post Romans chapter because it's sooo smutty but it leads into AIBO so I'll just add disclaimers if anyone wants to skip the less roma tic wedding parts 😅 Thank you as always. For getting me here and being a friend ❤️

Definitely! From Sam's POV in Halos Ben seems perfect. And he IS such a good each now, but he had to work for it to figure out who he is past an "exiled son" and an escort. He's had years. Sam is still in the baby stages of learning who he is post military. And yep yep! Wait till we get to the vows... I am hoping my body cooperates to get the rest up by Christmas. Viral infection equals flaring of symptoms, one of which was vertigo. A trip down the stairs to the basement means black and blues. But it was a trip mostly on my behind and scraping along the wall -smh- so swollen arm which means the nerves are funky. But I have a goal so I shall prevail! Cross your fingers! And as always thank you for your support and comments! I always look forward to everyone's insights especially now that this is much happier and a building block. Happy holidays! ❤️

Chapter 4 - Ben "Don't keep your secrets in a prayer. There is nothing you can say or do. I won't cut you loose, no, so break the silence... We know that we can brave it all... If you're hoping we'll be home... Don't be afraid to ask for help.... It won't make me love you any less.. It won't make me love you any less... Don't hide behind me.... You're strong enough to face the fall... It won't make me love you any less... No shame, no hurt, nothing to lose... My love my heart don't n

It's interesting that others view as intense. We all have different levels. I found hers to have some angst moments and poor Max but I found it more hopeful than Max's chapter, maybe because she's more sass and has a better sens of herself than Max does right now. They're solid friends for sure ❤️ and in Maxs novel that will show more. They are each other's "best bitches" after all lol. Thanks as always for the comment!

Thanks Anton, Not an easy chapter for any of them, but it's a turning point. Next chapter is the last and so far everyone seems to feel it was a good wrap up. The segue is being posted slowly, which takes place after this, so it's mostly happy and romantic light for Sam and Ben. We're getting there. There's some kind angst in Max chapter [each is told from a different characters POV except sam and ben who get 2 apiece] as well as a flashback in Ben's that takes place after Halos and is a perfect illustration of what you said. Eveb when his PTSD is "controlled " there are triggers. He's learning to deal with them. I'm happy you and all other readers who've made it to this point slogged through. I know it wasnt an easy story. 😔 Hope you find the end worth it. ❤️

AIBO is also the only story you haven't read some verison of yet 😉 so it will be interesting. Annnnd of course Roman's previously "lost chapter " which didn't ever see the light of day on the other site. Always new twists!

Cane you've mentioned your slight struggle with English before, yet you always manage to be so perceptive and pick up on the subtleties in my stories 😀 You're correct. It's mentioned many times for that exact purpose. It's very easy to die for someone you love when you get into that mindset, especially if there's trauma and self-loathing involved. It's much much harder to LIVE for someone, and give yourself a chance and them to be happy together without the easy route of leaving them or sadly, simply checking out because you feel you're not good enough, and their life would be easier without you. Sam was willing to do both. Max, despite his many many flaws, was more focused on the second because he had to, especially in his mind. [,though we get to see why in his flashback] As far as Connor, they were identical twins so they had a strong connection that was intensified between him and Sam by a level of codependency due to how they were raised--always having to protect one another. Connor did love his brother, but where Sam found an inner strength that he channeled into their family and the military [where he became a more stoic badass, but controlled] before the PTSD got the better of him, Connor couldn't, and it developed into a need for constant chaos both to feel "alive", and to give up control in a sense. A very unhealthy way of course. The human brain is a weird thing. And in Halos there was a mention of how Sam, when they were both very young, told Connor to pretend that the sound of their parents fighting was just like fireworks, and Connor's response was that he thought more like being like bombs. (always subtle context woven in 😉) They were both very very damaged in different ways that began from the same place. They were both their fathers sons, but Sam controlled it. He lost the control after years of violence that were necessary in the military, but necessity doesn't always make the heart and soul feel better. If you ever listen to stories from real military people especially those in special ops and covert forces,even the best of them eventually become haunted by their actions, especially when it's been for years. Connor's control hung by a thread and what he did to his family was unforgivable, but he cared about his brother if no one else, in his own way. He did on some level want Sam to have a happy ending and even one for Max. He just couldn't get past the abuse of their father and the cycle he kept going.