JJQuinn

Chapter 4 - Ben "Don't keep your secrets in a prayer. There is nothing you can say or do. I won't cut you loose, no, so break the silence... We know that we can brave it all... If you're hoping we'll be home... Don't be afraid to ask for help.... It won't make me love you any less.. It won't make me love you any less... Don't hide behind me.... You're strong enough to face the fall... It won't make me love you any less... No shame, no hurt, nothing to lose... My love my heart don't n

It's interesting that others view as intense. We all have different levels. I found hers to have some angst moments and poor Max but I found it more hopeful than Max's chapter, maybe because she's more sass and has a better sens of herself than Max does right now. They're solid friends for sure ❤️ and in Maxs novel that will show more. They are each other's "best bitches" after all lol. Thanks as always for the comment!

Thanks Anton, Not an easy chapter for any of them, but it's a turning point. Next chapter is the last and so far everyone seems to feel it was a good wrap up. The segue is being posted slowly, which takes place after this, so it's mostly happy and romantic light for Sam and Ben. We're getting there. There's some kind angst in Max chapter [each is told from a different characters POV except sam and ben who get 2 apiece] as well as a flashback in Ben's that takes place after Halos and is a perfect illustration of what you said. Eveb when his PTSD is "controlled " there are triggers. He's learning to deal with them. I'm happy you and all other readers who've made it to this point slogged through. I know it wasnt an easy story. 😔 Hope you find the end worth it. ❤️

AIBO is also the only story you haven't read some verison of yet 😉 so it will be interesting. Annnnd of course Roman's previously "lost chapter " which didn't ever see the light of day on the other site. Always new twists!

Cane you've mentioned your slight struggle with English before, yet you always manage to be so perceptive and pick up on the subtleties in my stories 😀 You're correct. It's mentioned many times for that exact purpose. It's very easy to die for someone you love when you get into that mindset, especially if there's trauma and self-loathing involved. It's much much harder to LIVE for someone, and give yourself a chance and them to be happy together without the easy route of leaving them or sadly, simply checking out because you feel you're not good enough, and their life would be easier without you. Sam was willing to do both. Max, despite his many many flaws, was more focused on the second because he had to, especially in his mind. [,though we get to see why in his flashback] As far as Connor, they were identical twins so they had a strong connection that was intensified between him and Sam by a level of codependency due to how they were raised--always having to protect one another. Connor did love his brother, but where Sam found an inner strength that he channeled into their family and the military [where he became a more stoic badass, but controlled] before the PTSD got the better of him, Connor couldn't, and it developed into a need for constant chaos both to feel "alive", and to give up control in a sense. A very unhealthy way of course. The human brain is a weird thing. And in Halos there was a mention of how Sam, when they were both very young, told Connor to pretend that the sound of their parents fighting was just like fireworks, and Connor's response was that he thought more like being like bombs. (always subtle context woven in 😉) They were both very very damaged in different ways that began from the same place. They were both their fathers sons, but Sam controlled it. He lost the control after years of violence that were necessary in the military, but necessity doesn't always make the heart and soul feel better. If you ever listen to stories from real military people especially those in special ops and covert forces,even the best of them eventually become haunted by their actions, especially when it's been for years. Connor's control hung by a thread and what he did to his family was unforgivable, but he cared about his brother if no one else, in his own way. He did on some level want Sam to have a happy ending and even one for Max. He just couldn't get past the abuse of their father and the cycle he kept going.

Heh.... Tara will get her own story his. It will be after Max's in a novella titled Sweet Cherry Chapstick , book 2.5 though she of course remains a major character in book 2. She and Max are best friends and live together, so we will see her story beginning to unfold there and then eventually her own. Sloane Let's just say she won't be going there. Tara is a very string, opinionated character. We don't always see the softest sides except with her friends and Emma and Sloane’s more reserved buuuut. Opposites often attract for a reason 😉 As far as Max, his story will reveal more as does his best man speech in Ben's chapter and his interaction with toman in his chapter which is smutty BUT telling. Readers will get to see some of Roman's background and pushologial reasons developed in prison to be a slightly ocd, control freak [remember the surveillance at the clubs 😆] and Max is similar in terms of his apartment and the random sex serves a purpose aside from him just enjoying a hedonist lifestyle. Doesn't mean IT HAS to be with random people if he finds the right tough, take no prisoners man like Taras determined for him to be with. It's a series s which overlaps a lot as it follows different characters so the storyline all push the world a little further along 😀 Thanks as always for your comments!

"When I feel alone I reach for you, and you bring me home... When I'm lost at sea. I hear your voice, and it carries me... In this world, we're just beginnin' to understand the miracle of livin'... Baby, I was afraid before, but I'm not afraid anymore... Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?... Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth.... They say in Heaven, love comes first... We'll make Heaven a place on Earth... Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth... Heaven... Heaven... Heaven..." – (Heaven is a

Thats very understandable. Max can be a very polarizing character because people focus on the aspect of him never telling Sam how he felt so he deserves what he got, etc etc. The same way I've been told in the past that Sam doesn't deserve Ben. It doesn't help that Ben is so "perfect". Humans are just complicated and fitting together like puzzle pieces is as tough when you find them as when you're looking for them. Sadly it's why so many relationships end in divorce or don't even get past dating in the first place- other aspects get in the way if they don't give with our personal baggages. Max and Sam's relationship is complicated because they both have family dynamics that affect the way they see love and react to it. Maxs are just much more subtle. I love writing romantic fluff [Aka just keep swimming which i still have to finish if i can get through the sex scene which is trying]. This just isnt one of those series. Its more like mmm romantic psychology? Though Tara's chapter will likely make you giggle. Different side of her, different side of him and life moves on. Ben’s POV also gives some perspective. He used to be much sassier lol. Thanks for your thoughts as always! ❤️

Hah well by now you all know Mr. Sam has to work on his communication issues. Fortunately his florist has pity on him and did the homework for him. He just memorized the details then added his heart. Poor Max...in this revision he was def poor Max, but he will get his own eventual happy ending so it's all good. A slow steady process. The "lost" Roman chapter i never published before is a raunchy peek into the future of possible romance 😉

THROUGHOUT my arduous educational journey towards becoming a doctor, I'd endured years of intense higher-level schooling and my competitive, overachieving ego had motivated me to bust my ass to consistently keep myself at the top of my classes so I graduated early and summa cum laude to boot. But despite my impressive medical pedigree and a general love for learning, there are an infinite number of things I know nothing about—from the true existence of God, to why slices cut from round pizzas en

😆 it's totally ok! Thank you so much!

Its going to be enlightening! Roman and Max's chapters are the longest and Roman's is pretty much A LOT of smut with a drunk Max because Max is Max and it leads into their story eventually. Theirs essentially starts where Roman's chapter ends. ❤️

Yes sir! I just have to write a new chapter from their perspective and whelans. Originally Sloane didnt exit and Whelan and AJ were just characters in mention. Whelan at the hospital and AJ as a member of Sam's ranger unit. They weren't "alive" so the Original segue was only told from sam. Ben, Max Roman and Tara’s POV. The segue took on a new life of ots own so those chapters have to be done and some light revisions to the original chapters because the events unrolled so differently in Halos this time around then the original. Sams chapters are relatively short since we know his deal and he came to terms with life in Halos. Bens is longer because we see his past as a priest and how he got here and how he supports Sam and Sam supports him. Balance. In Halos Sam beat the snot out of the guy who got handsy with Sam and of course couldn't defend himself against Sam's nightmares physically..buuut being Ben he always finds another way 😉 Max and Roman's chapters are the longest because this novella gears up for their story. Roman's chapter with Max is the only true deliciously filthy one and that's only because again it leads into their novel and unlike Sam, Max uses sex to communicate and alienate at the same time. Loves it but it also maintains distance from people. It's gonna be interesting. I might be able to get Max's revision up today. The chapter is just very very long and alot of what was in it originally needs to be removed or changed because he and Sam had a diff relationship in Halos this time.

PrivateThoughts were you trying to respond to me lol? I only see my response to you though it says you commented. Have a happy holiday! ❤️

Thanks so much @CindyKris. I was hoping that reference would land well. It made sense and I totally agree with you that like the photo wall [good memory!] It will never truly be finished. And if it is, they will just start a new one together because life continues to move on and grow. I hope.youll follow the segue piece as well as its released a bit at a time.

I appreciate that feedback so much. I know it wasn't an easy story to read,especially not in the beginning. But I really wanted to write a story that reflected different aspects of real life because real love isnt always perfect. Many times it's very messy so I was hoping that even readers without PTSD could find some way to relate to at least some of the characters in the story. I hope you will follow along with the segue and other books in the series as they slowly are released. The standalone stories I've started are only in the beginning stages so it'll be awhile before they're finished, but they are much much lighter. Thank you again for the feedback. It makes me feel supported and a stronger writer. I appreciate you!

Thank you so much Cane. You've had more than just a little part in helping me get here. Literally lol. I've appreciated all of your feedback even the analytical because you know I always say ALL feedback makes writers stronger and sometimes sheds light on things we might be struggling to find in our own work. I'm so happy you've connected so strongly to the characters and are looking forward to seeing where the characters go in the future. It won't be perfect but the strongest relationships rarely are. Thank you for everything. ❤️

SOME things in life are easy, but trying to properly knot my own tie on my wedding day wasn't one of them. Considering that I'd pulled this act off flawlessly at least a half dozen times after being honorably discharged from the Army and being both Addie and Emma's plus one to numerous functions, including Addie's junior prom a month ago, I should've been able to do this blindfolded. Maybe with one arm bound behind my back since I could bang out 60 push-ups per arm in less than two minutes that

Time heals most wounds and emotional duct tape does the rest. After a difficult beginning and an emotional rollercoaster ride through the highs and lows of falling in love, and learning to forgive and move forward, Sam and Ben have decided to bind their lives forever on one special day. Through their eyes and those of their loved ones, it's an exploration of what it means to love, and be loved in return.

The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you can see. —Winston Churchill FAMILY TIME, the kind pictured in movies and TV shows where people are gathered around a table playing board games with loved ones, wasn’t something that happened in our house very often when I was a kid. In our defense, Connor, our mother and me couldn’t really let our guards down long enough to even go and find the two games we actually had hidden in the top shelf of the coat closet—Sorry an

Luke Luke had gone through a cycle of putting his hands in his pockets and taking them out to fidget with the hem of his shirt a half dozen different ways by the time he and Jessie left the bakery where she’d insisted, he help her do the final taste test for her and Bowen’s wedding cake. After nearly an hour of tasting what had seemed like pieces of almost every kind of cake in the bakery, Luke still couldn’t tell the difference between the three different flavors of chocolate his daughter

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. Arnold H Glasow HUMANS are social creatures. Practically from the womb, we try to make connections with others—first with gurgling sounds, then eventually with smiles, inviting people to interact with us. To see us. Most people probably have at least one solid memory of childhood—sometimes going back as far as kindergarten— of being at a new school on their first day, and hoping to God that they’ll make at least o

Yikes! I commend you for tackling this task. 😆 I'd have run for the hills! I'm giggling though because I'm in smutty categories I didn't expect to be lol

Part of the problem is how little we understand about the ultimate betrayal of the body when it rebels against itself... —Charles Bronson SOCIAL media loves to bombard us with visuals of positive affirmations and inspirational messages meant to sell us the idea that limitless happiness in the world is up for grabs, available to anyone who wants it simply because they have a meme generated, Pollyanna attitude. None of the heavy shit that comes our way, none of the struggles, none of th

I'll never stop dreaming that one day we can be a real family, together, all of us laughing and talking, loving and understanding, not looking at the past but only to the future. —LaToya Jackson TARA’S 911, -breakfast needed ASAP because I’m here at Sofia’s house and we’re starving!!!!!- text had come in bright and early at 9 a.m. the morning after we’d gone to the club. Ben and I’d still been wrapped up together under an oversized, lightweight throw blanket on the outdoor couch about