LeeSA

No not the maths.... unless its a drug calculation Im buggered. 🤣

I think the circle enables its members to feel the illusion of security, gives the school and rich parents the illusion that they hold/contain the power until the school/prison successfully teaches compliance to a rather disturbing set of rules. Bastien was testing waters with Lawrance....he is the new kid. But the was a glimpse of hesitancy on Bastiens part. So I am not sure he understands his own feels right now. Just that he needs/wants to protect Lawrance. There has to be another murder... because someone else knows all about the first. So many choices, I feel the need to start behaviour mapping.

Hierarchy within. Ernests behaviour is interesting. Amazing school or front/prison. Expectant conformity within their preestablished roles. Money can be evil. Secrets = money, but for whom?

Who doesnt like a challenge !

Kudos, the insight translates.

Yes there is ... no clear path, lots of possibilities ... and the sense of having to look past what you see.

Interesting group dynamics.... I am trying not to look too deeply at the characters yet as all we see is surface because that is what Lawrence sees. Likeable traits are simply part of a whole person, doesnt mean they are good or bad, positive or negative. Right now I am sticking to motivations. The school with have political motivations the group will have individual motivations that spill into family asthetics. Watch the outlayers. If Bastien is the centre, by the name of the group, he is encircled by other people motives. Pure, not so much. I wonder if Lukas was the one that was meant to die?

Looking forward to whats coming next

Can one see gliter in the moonlight?

I will miss their story. I loved that they were perfectly imperfect. Looking forward to whatever comes next. I have always had a favourite story of yours but this eclipsed that. So human and real. Thank you @Laura S. Fox

I cant actually believe Im sitting here smiling. Apart from the well deserved and perfectly written HEA moment especially for these two men one word stuck out for me. Empty.... @Laura S. Fox is exactly what Lyn had to accept that when all the walls came down and he was honest with himself, he was empty. To look around and know that his own choices and behaviour left... nothing. To realise that your totally devoid of any warmth, connection, anything real, even with himself was catalytic. Hurt or pain dont even live in that space. So utterly perfect a word to use. I was elated that Lyn got there and moved into action versus inaction. Instead of fearing possible consequences he walked into them. Even after the little hint I didnt think that Lyn would propose but am so glad he did.

Wow, just wow. Every word truth

Time is not infinite for any of them. Lyn has givem himself permission to use many excuses from actually moving forward. Brad put an end to that which, I think, is his most adult accompishment.

What a memory I dont even want pull it apart. They were simply best friends being best friends. Yes they all had their secrets, fears and upcoming health issues to deal with in Brads case.... but they worked together. As a unit. They accepted each other silently acknowledging that they were closed off to some degree from one another and they stayed together through thick and thin, each showing a level of understanding because they were all in the same boat. I finally put to rest for myself what Brads motive was inviting them both even if it was ill planned. None of them realized that to fix it for the three of them they each had to deal with themselves first, they were young. Not an easy path is redemption. Someone said that I think, no idea who but very true. Love it

What a chapter.... its was like reading and game of dominos, as every part of Brads personality came into focus. Someone once said to me that "Death is my passenger, and I forgot that. Biology told me of its immenent arrival. Its up to me remind death that its still my life and it can bloody well wait until Im done living..." Death doesnt negate past wrongs or bad behaviour as Lyn will eventually understand it will serve as a conduit for clarity. It is beautiful and brutal at the same time. Lyn missed a lot about his friends because of the choices he made. It gives Lyn the oportunity to facilitate real depth in their friendship. I am hopeful that he will see this time with Brad as a gift. @Laura S. Fox of all your stories you have really outdone yourself with this one.

It can be genetic yes, severity is individual, blood clots and heart failure can both be fatal. Long term management is possible depending on severity and early diagnosis.

The one thing you could have done to turn my anger at Brads behaviour into empathy.... you bloody did. Was he an ass, yes but but... bugger it. @Laura S. Fox you know what I do for a living and no it doesnt change anything he did, but it makes sense. Well played. 😥

Bugger me

Hope and optimism and courage. Your right the HEA will be in growth and honesty but I still want it all.

Lyn watched his mother live in the shadows and the judgement of others and made the choice to not repeat that. His mother showed him how much he was worth to her own lack of... he internalized that. He has also been raised in an enviroment that equates to feelings = currency. When love was veiwed as a liability, even a mothers love, why would he believe he deserves otherwise. He tops because he remains in control. His choice, his time, his rules. Needs versus wants. He does in part care how it is for others because he is concerned with judgement from them. He needs to exceed not just succeed. In everything so he does not ever find himself in that sitation again. He chose Brad because he new there was no risk... He didnt consider Alex because there is wasnt one. Or so he thought.

Its a very Lyn-centric chapter. His over thinking enables him to write of Alexanders honesty, while his bug also gives him an out too. Sad but sweet It was interesting how un-fractured Lyns thinking was when going to see Alex as opposed to Brad though I am not surprised. Loving, even if Lyn is still focused on his plan...

Lyn has always thought that failure was not an option, he did not ask himself what he wanted put of life only what he wanted everyone else to see believing thats was the best way to keep his shame or perceived shames, hidden. He has had a life lived in the shadows, firstly his upbringing and secondly by his own choice. He has to work out who he is and what he wants with that construct. Ignore the muscle memory if you like and create a new sense of self. Of course there is nothing behind his mask, he didnt let it in, ever. Fog as @Cane23 said is apt however it is more than that. It is the first time that Lyn realises he is totally confused, desolate and utterly alone. That that is what he created. Not Brad and not Alex. Him. Is he selfish, ignorant, avoidant yes, is he human absolutely. There are little fragments of hope though, he acknowedges his feelings for Brad as ridiculous, and he gives his growing feelings a name. Alexander. Yet muscle memory dictates that he focus a perceived negatives ie making mistakes and in doing so attempts to bolster the rigidity that he lived portraying by showing determination on its immediate fixing. It is no secret that I am not fond of Brad's character but his holding onto the glasses showed how deep the wounds of that night were, for him. The fact that he sent them back was equally sad. He has issues he obviously needs to work on yes. I feel like this act spoke to finality and his deep need to either work it through or move on altogether. The agrument that he and Lyn had in the previous chapter speaks to deep hurt abandonment issues impulsitivy and self medicating with booze and his own confusion and anger at not dealing with his own emotions or choosing not to. What I find interesting is that traits of these three could easily be found in one person. Still find the chapter sad. It has come down to two choices face up or shut up. Some people cant ever face up.

He absolutely does... but I am sure he will use it as motivation

I dont actually have words at the moment to express how big Brad sending Lyn his glasses back actually was. Broke me. Wow.