LeeSA

Have to agree I find it hard to remove my own reactions from how I would behave in similar circumstances. Personally I would not have ruminated on anything. Brad and Luke would already know my response before the blow job even finished. I certainly would not have let it continue, but I AM not Lyn.... well mostly nothing like him, much. 😁

I agree that Luke is definately manipulative but his manipulations are most definately juvenille. Brat like. I want to be the centre of attention. I dont care about peoples feelings. Childish but perhaps he has never had to grow up. If the reason Brad is getting blow jobs from his brother in law to be as a way to not have to marry Bella I will add coward to my opinion of him as well. Would it surprise me no.

One down 50 theories to go 🤣

Its easy to become invested in the HEA. It would be interesting to clearer POV from the other two not just Lyns interpretation of their behaviour.

I am not sure I am trying moreso to rule it out. Unless @Laura S. Foxsays no, I cant rule it out. Though I suppose if I was patient and stopped trying to anticipate the story it would be easier. Its how my head works. Run through every scenario and evaluate potential outcomes, oh god I read like a Risk Matrix 🤣

Fair points. Lyn has not found Alex in an important lie yet and may not. I guess as I consider where each chapter takes us, i am trying to work out what is big enough to push them apart. Kissing was what I was thinking about. Say if Lyn found them kissing or hugging with the implication on a kiss in Lyns eyes.

When Lyn asks if Alex gets off on humiliating him I dont think it has anything to do with Alex per say just that Lyn feels it is a humiliating position to have accepted his help. More frequently past and present time lines Lyn is asking himself questions that deep down he knows the answers too, he just refuses to look or follow his gut. Fear is a very powerful feeling. And ohh god back to Brad beating his chest saying "mine" .... before he takes off for greener pastures or more willing pastures take your pick. Not saying Alex did any better his use of "our" and "we" are subtle enough to remind Brad he is on the outer. I am not sure if the whole picture will come out at the end of school in this argument, how can it? I think Lyn is gonna run, what ever information or whatever happens he is gonna run. Just my opinion, he is scared of being himself for his two best friends.... partly because he hides from himself but always hides from others even if he is taking baby steps into who he is. On some level he understand Alexs behaviour and Brads but be refuses to open pandoras box of emotion. They all needed an extra 8 years to get to where they are in the present time line and they all seem to be recreating or reimmersing themselves in the mirrors @Cane23 points out of the previous scenarios with some very notable developments indicative of some growth. Removing masks one by one, so I feel like their college fall out is going to create more questions. Just me thinking of course. Interesting thought? Anyone think there was/is a possibility that Alex and Brad experiemented in college behind Lyns back? They were not fond of each other then, and in the present it seems little has changed, but when your that age sex is just sex or it can be? And they both want Lyn neither being able to have him exclusively. I want to rule it out but cant so am interested in everyones opinions

Your right this scene highlighted the fact that Lyn was experimenting with the boys. There was no emotion it was purely educational exploration. But that is Lyn all over. He grew up being shown emotions were unimportant and an unnecessary burden. He is finally starting to see how thecflaws in his upbringing have impacted his future relationships. That is why that mirror moment was so important. He needs to see himself befire he can see anyone else and Alex knows that.

I like that, emotional undressing. Revealing the truths that have elluded them. I am more hopeful now of Lyn taking more permanent steps forward.

What a beautiful chapter... and I agree with previous comments about the vulnerability of both Lyn and Alex. That moment where Lyn actually gave in and looked in the mirror is so important. For someone who has hidden from himself and from others his whole life for so many reasons to actually see himself is no small moment. To finally see himself even for a fraction of time as someone worthy of love, affection, passion, desire and respect is huge. To willingly let that hold, go and be in that moment was beautiful. I think Lyns reluctance to deal with Brad is about a couple of things. Yes the hurt of the past and illusions they have all held onto. The bitterness of time wasted and true words not spoken. Mostly I think Lyn wants to remain in the perfect calm he feels in that moment. Where he feels at peace. Within the tenderness and intimacy, Lyn is ackowledging I have seen you and I let you see me, I chose that. No one else gets what I gave you. The strength that Alex has to have held onto to wait for Lyn emotionally is what Lyn sees and loves. All that being said Lyn has to reconfigure how he sees himself and how he will let others not just Brad, see him. Once he leaves that room that moment he will never be the same again. Lyn was asking himself the questions to which he has the answers, always has had, but now, hopefully he takes the newer feelings of someone who deserves to be seen and openly acknowedges the answers to himself. Then he may be strong enough to confront Brad.

The cold shower was because I had to go to work and believe me when I tell you its the wrong kind of environment for me not to be 100% ahh present, a cold beer before work also a no go 🤣

Amen to that

Oh the mirror..... perfect. Though I need a little longer to articulate my thoughts Ill start with wow and maybe a cold shower.

Runs quickly through all potential possibilities for outcomes ..... hmm suppose I just have to wait. 😁

Eventually Lyn was going to approach his sexuality the way he approaches everything. He studies, overthinks and misreads how others or in this case Quinn and Joe see him. So he approaches the scenario the only way he knows how. Methodically and experimentally. Personally I think its normal for someone who is curious to need to feed that curiosity. He is 21 so he doesnt have all the answers nor has he let himself experiment with anyone physically away from Brad and Alexander. He tries so hard to not be noticed by the majority he fails to see people notice him anyway. He doesnt want the attention so doesnt know how to respond to it when it comes. Very Lyn. Good on him I say. What I find more interesting about this chapter is Lyns subconscious acknowledgement of his truer feelings. You would have thought that if Brad was truly the object of his desires he would be the feature of his dreams. But Lyns heart wants what it wants and its not Brad. Brad just continues to be, in Lyns mind, unobtainably easy and is not clocking his growing attraction to Alex in an open way. Brad is not going to like that Lyn has done this..... in fact I reckon things are going to start to go downhill the more that Lyn finds his feet in his sexuality even if he is not out out. Perhaps that is why he has not confirmed for Brad that he is gay. Alex aint gonna like it either just sayin and Lyn is going to have to navigate two very unsettled friends, though for different reasons when they both find out.

Why? Realising that makes me sound like a kid, but Im curious as to your thoughts.

I am not sure he is neurodivergent in any way least I dont read him that way. I think he chooses to ignore social cues cause they dont fit in his walls. It is amazing how much he can explain away or ignore using his self imposed view of himself. Interesting take on his character though

I am not sure you messed it up at all. I think for some of us that Lyns character is easy to relate to and as such its easy to inflect maybe, impart our personal bias. I for one believed that if he tried it he would never do it again as he avoided any deep emotional connections .... no pun intended. Although the romantic in me says maybe he just wanted to wait for his true love.

The humiliation that Lyn feels is two fold, he feels humiliated by the situation with Brad and Luke however I think part of his humiliation is in his own actions. His own acceptance that he created his delusions and continued to breathe life into them on a daily basis. Constructing and controlling his entire life in ways that other people clearly see as 'adults' not in college, but as adults is a failure and Lyn will see that as humiliation. I guess I am waiting for Lyn to say something along the lines of ..... I did this to myself ..... I continued this structured approach because I was scared. Once he gets there, I am hoping that then he can fully connect with Alex.

Personally I am thinking not the first time. I think we may read about that soon and I think that once Lyn realised the vulnerability in the act he avoided it. Because his heart was elsewhere.

I have to admit I read the chapter and pondered for a while. Hot yes, but there is a lot missing. And yes it has to do with the fact that they are fucking. It was what Lyn needed at the time however I feel like there isxgoing to be a sense of incompletness to the act itself for Lyn and Alex until as @Cane23 pointed out their emotions are aligned. Lyn has constructed his whole life around hiding himself, he avoided bottoming because it is vulnerable and in a sense he has still managed to remove the vulnerability from the act. The emotions or reprecusions of his life choices are all there for Lyn to see but whats worse is the overwhelming feeling those emotions create and he is not ready to deal so he fucks it away. Pushing the focus away from his emotions and into the physical. It will be interesting to see how he responds as the feelings are not going to go away anymore. He cant delude himself anymore and that is a very scary place to be. Lyn is also going to have to face the fact that HE chose his own delusions and self imposed restrictions because he was scared of the potential outcomes. Yes he has masks and walls they all do but Lyn is the only one resposible for maintaining his. Chapter left me feeling a little sad again but hopeful that when Alex and Lyn do connect with heart mind and soul it will be stunning.

Couple of things struck me in that chapter.... Quinn already new Lyn's name and he did not fight back with Brad and the friend stood by until towards the end. It was a verbal stouche and a bit of chest beating over Lyn. It is clearly apparent now that Brad very much had feelings for Lyn and he was not open to sharing. The identity of the guy that Brad was walking away with from Lyn when he was sick is not clear. It may not be important but that fight between Quinn and Brad felt like there was a level of familiarity between them. Brad is impulsive and a drinker so he may have mentioned Lyn when he was drunk? While sewing his oats so to speak. The very last part Lyn commented that Brad was his shield against the world, against being seen as anything other than a nerd always safe more from his own thoughts and feelings. Prophetic and sad.

It is a very territorial moment but if Brad has chosen to be terratorial, right or wrong he will protect his closest relationships. I am glad he intervened though as Lyn was going to find himself in a very interesting position befire much longer.

Sound and articulate, I like. I struggle with Brad the most. When I considered all your above points I did settle some stuff in my head. Fear is always going to be a powerful motivator for all of them and they have different versions of taking down their walls. Your right he has proved time and time again he knows how Lyn feels about him. Using your theory of trusting Brads body language I wondered if he wanted to get caught.... why else would you be on the phone at that particular moment, is he continuing his distinct recklessness and not completely considering the potential outcomes. Perhaps Brads style of taking down his own masks/walls is a little more sledgehammer like. When it blows apart completely you can deal with it then. I guess his end game is hard to see. I just cant get my head to a place where he will be the bigger person and support a relationship for Alex and Lyn. His current behaviour is having the opposite effect if he wanted Lyn back for himself. Certainly makes for an interesting outcome of the argument