scoopny

Short answer is yes to both. Why do we want the law to judge us inferior? No one is forced to get married, but for sure the law should not say "you cannot get married no matter how much you want to." That is using the law to designate you, even if you never get married, as inferior to heterosexuals and that's wrong. For example a ban on interracial marriage did not deny the right of marriage to anyone. It only kicked in if you decided to marry someone of a different race. Why was that law wrong? Because the law marked black people as inferior to white people. Gay people can currently get married, but only if it is to someone of a different gender. Same principle. Second, marriage protects couples, especially non-wealthy couples who don't have the resources to make legal arrangements that mimic marriage, to keep the assets (both social and economic) that come with being a couple. From the ability to visit your partner at the hospital and make legal decisions concerning their health when they are no longer able to, to transfering your assets when one partner dies or ensure the law doesn't try to take away your children should one partner die. And marriage, when it works, also helps ensure that assets are divided equitably in a divorce. When marriage isn't recognized crazy things happen, especially when couples break up. For example, one case I know of, a lesbian couple married in Mass., get divorced. One partner moves to Virginia with the child and then gets the Virginia court not to recognize the other partner as the parent of the child. That would not happen if gay marriage would legalized everywhere. So marriage is necessary especially because people often break up and divorce laws ensure those breakups proceed in way that recognizes the rights of both parties.

:battleaxe:

You are never going to let me forget that. . I remember you were like "What if they lose?" and I was like "there's no way Michigan is losing to a team named Appalachian State." I spent the next month eating those words. By the way, I hope Carey Price spends his offseason doing a little working out, it appears he's too small for the goal, he can't seem to keep the puck from going into the net. .

Michigan has the highest winning percentage of any college football program. Florida is just a mere upstart. And I will concede our basketball team sucks.

Aww... one national championship, how cute. Call me when you get 10 more .

Oh the Gators? You mean the team we beat in the Capitol One Bowl this year? . Good team, Tim Tebow's a good quarterback. I'd make fun of Penn State, but that would just be piling on. At least we can both agree that Norte Dame and Ohio State sucks.

Haha omg, I was sleepy and didn't see. The Phillies? Man we have nothing in common. I'm a Mets fan. Okay, you can make fun of the Mets for last season, THAT was an embarassment. But we'll get you this year. We probably shouldn't talk football, should we? Go Giants. Next you're going to tell me you root for Penn State *points to icon*.

Last I checked the Rangers and the Devils finished with more points than the Flyers . Man an all-Pa. series, can I root for none of the above?

You realize neither one of us was alive the last time the Flyer hoisted a Stanely Cup. And while Marty Brion did his best Marty Brodeau impersonation, that won't last against the Penquins. The Rangers are so not winning that series, lol.

:mace: Signed, Devils fan. And before you try to make fun of the Devils, ask yourself how many Stanley Cups the Flyers have over the last decade and how many the Flyers have. TYIA.

I'm celebrating finishing another year of school. Only one more to go for that graduate degree!

I don't have a cute couple requirement for PDA's , I think they're fine in moderation and appropriate to the location you're at and you don't have to be good-looking in my book to do them. Older couples in fact, are even more adorable, since it suggests they've been together for a really long time.

Congratulations Myr!!!

Of course these problems exist. And I agree in a perfect world you wouldn't have to leave. But sometimes, people do. My dear friend Hamp was nearly killed several times in Mississippi growing up and well, he left. I respect your choice to stay, but not everyone does, even in Mississippi. The reason my grandfather, and millions like him, left the South for the North wasn't for the better weather. Should people stay and fight? Sure. But plenty of people make other choices. And those choices aren't wrong, just as much as your choice to stay isn't wrong. Where Azure Dragon lives, much like Michigan, there is no protection against housing and job discrimination for gays and both states have strict anti-gay marriage amendments. I could take a job here and they could fire me for being gay and I'd have no recourse, most cities in Ohio are the same way. If I lived in a city outside of Ann Arbor, I could get denied an apartment for being gay. The Mid-west ain't no idyll. The anti-gay marriage amendment in Michigan is more restrictive than the one in Mississippi. The state appellate court ruled that the University of Michigan couldnt' even provide health insurance to gay and lesbian couples. I live not 10 miles from where they regularly host Klan rallies. Timothy McViegh's co-conspirator Terry Nichols also lived nearby. If you want to see racism and hatred at work just come on to Michigan.

They can try and kick me, but they best be aware, I WILL KICK BACK. Trust. I would be remiss if I didn't point out that the ACLU is not the only organization that fights for gay, lesbian, transgender rights. There's also Lambda Legal where I worked last summer, which is actually the largest gay and lesbian legal organization in the country. They successfully litigated the case Lawrence v. Texas, which overturned sodomy laws nationwide, won the case that resulted in civil unions in New Jersey and lost the boy scout case. Their most recent win was getting a trial court in Iowa to say that banning gay marriage violates the state constitution (that's still pending on appeal). They also do a lot of work on issues relating to bullying in schools (FYI anyone in any state who is being bullied because of their sexual orientation, there's federal law that protects you, that protects anyone from bullying for any reason, so just rememeber that if anyone is being harassed in school.) , transgender rights and HIV discrimination. Their sister organization, GLAD (Gay and Lesbian Defender) won the marriage case in Massachussetts and the civil unions case in Vermont. Both the ACLU and Lambda are parties to the lawsuit challenging marriage laws in California. There's also the National Gay and Lesbian Taskforce and of course the Human Rights Campaign which is more of a lobbying organization than a civil rights group, they work to change legislation at the federal level mostly in Washington. That's really just the tip of the iceberg, there are many, many brave organizations at the state level doing great work. All those national organizations have hotlines where they can refer you to local organizations that can help. Amen. I think of what my grandfather went through growing up in the deep south in the 1920s, getting kicked out of school at the age of 10, moving to New York City on his own at the age of 16, working in demeaning jobs all his life. He was mad, he was angry, but he was never bitter. If you had saw him back in the day, you would have thought he was a millionaire the way he dressed. But he lived in the PJs. He is my example. I've faced nothing as hellish as he did, but he still managed to leave this place a better world than he found it. That's my goal too. Leave better for the ones who come behind me. I might have had some bad days, but I know it'll only get better. Sorry that was waay off topic, but suffice to say, i'd ask, but I'd make sure we had decided we wanted to spend our lives together before I asked. One thing they teach us in school, never ask a question you don't already know the answer to.

My mother was sick last fall and that really made it clear how close and complicated our relationship with, it was also a wake-up call to the fact that she won't be around forever. And it also reminded me of the importance of friends. My dear friend, who is a doctor, actually came down to New York and sat with my mom after surgery and sat with us after the doctor came out of surgery to help ask questions. I don't know how I could ever repay him. Very few people can put my mom at ease and he did. So it reminded me that I shouldn't take for granted the important people in my life.

I have a lot of romantic songs I like and listen to from time to time is Foolish Love by Rufus Wainwright, an openly gay singer and the words of the song, I've felt many times. I don't want to hold you and feel so helpless I don't want to smell you and lose my senses And smile in slow motion With eyes in love I twist like a corkscrew The sweetness rising I drink from the bottle, weeping Why won't you last? Why can't you last So i will walk without care Beat my snare Look like a man who means business Go to all the poshest places With their familiar faces Terminate all signs of weakness Oh, all for the sake of a foolish love

Being a jock is a white male thing, I must be watching the wrong professional sports in the United States.

There are plenty of gay icons in classical music, Tchaikovsky, the modernist composer John Cage, the conductor Leonard Bernstein, Camille Saint Seans (love Carnival of the animals), Aaron Copeland one could go on for a very long time. There is some debate over whether Schubert or Handel were also gay, but that will probably never get resolved to anyone's satisfaction. Personally my gay icons are James Baldwin and Bayard Rustin, not music stars, but people who were openly gay and did amazing things when few people were out of the closet.

Actually you know, what bothers me most and this has happened once or twice is not that a guy isn't into you, but that he is and I don't know because of family pressures, society, what have you, doesn't think a relationship would work because you're both of cultural or racial. I mean that quickly makes a boy not worth my time, but still, annoying.

There are geeky black guys out there! Trust on that. . But yes they may be few and far between. Once a guy came up to me with the pick-up line "I'm in the mood for chocolate tonight." I laughed so hard, I couldn't even hear the next words he said.

Not to be a thread nanny but NO ONE uses the word mulatto anymore in english, bi-racial is the preferred term.

I know you guys like the term Dairy queen, but yikes! Don't use that around term some of my asian friends, they will freak out, potato queen will be worse actually. Although this thing about guys liking particular races does make approaching a guy quite difficult. You have to do a quick mental calculation whether it is even worth talking to a guy because he might rule you out because you're the wrong race -- I've even had that happen to me when I hit on black guys before, . And then it means that maybe I won't approach a guy because I'll think that I have no chance because I'm just not his type and I'll be missing out because in fact, he doesn't care. Dating is so confusing! I mean I understand it and all, but it just doesn't seem as much fun to limit yourself, lol. A guy can seduce me with an interesting story. One guy I went on a date with told me all about growing up in Korea, another all about Jamaica, if you can tell me about something I don't already know, if you can make me laugh (or laugh at my ridiculously bad jokes) and feel at ease, that's enough for me.

I can safely say that my university while in the midwest and in one of the more hostile states to gay rights in the country is one of the most welcoming universities in the country when it comes to gays and lesbians. The environment is such in that if someone really wants to be homophobic, they'll find plenty of people willing to set them straight, so to speak.

I agree with you completely. It's not really how a guy looks that matters to me (I mean it does matter to an extent but you can be completely totally goregous and then open your mouth and say something completely stupid and all of a sudden I lose interest faster than air escaping from a punctured tire) but more who the guy person is, if I'm attracted to a type, it's more about a personality type (sweet funny, nerdy boys of any race will get my attention) more than a race.