greenmann

well, mine is pretty simple... when I started landscaping proffessionally, I wanted a name that would reflect my interest both in plants and wildlife. Since I was kinda stydying paganism at the time, the green man seemed appropriate, so I named my business Green Man Gardens. The first online chat community I signed up for was a gardening e-mail based list, so I signed up as greenman. Kinda stuck for my online persona, though sometimes greenman is taken, so I started using greenmann. You'll see me as both or either depending on where I am.

I've tasted aioli, Old Bob, brought back directly from south France actually from one of my sister's student's families (she is a kindergarten teacher) who lived in France. It was good, though a bit salty for my taste. I don't eat red meat, so I'll take a pass on the reindeer. I have noticed the last month or so that beeffalo (american bison meat) has started to appear in a bunch of local markets. Not likely to try it myself, but I do think that could be a welcome shift in American ag, and might open up some possibility of restoring some kind of more ecological approach to food production. Hopefully.

Most American cities have a number of ethnic foods offered, and Seattle is no exception. I love most of them, as long as they don't get too spicy. I don't realy consider the Chinese restaurants all that authentic, they are more like "Chinese American" (like fortune cookies, invented in San Francisco), but there is a dish that a number have started making that I love; "walnut prawns". The bottom layer is steamed brocoli and water chestnuts, with fried shrimp on top. Candied walnuts sprinkled on top of that, with a honey mayonaise kind of sauce over the top of everything. Sounds strange, but it is heavenly when cooked properly. Our own "native" foods are pretty simple though. Probably the best thing that's really indigenous to this area is alder or cedar smoked salmon. You can get red cedar shakes in gourmet stores now to do it in the over, but usually on an open campfire or barbeque, you would butterfly the fish to spread it open, skewer it, and let it roast slowly over the smokey fire. The smoke from the alder and cedar makes the salmon to die for, and it drips most of the fat off into the fire that way. In the oven, you need to char the plank a bit, then put the fish on top (skin down) and broil or bake at 400-450 for around 15-20 minutes. Serve with a baked potato (Washington actually processes more potatoes than Idaho, and produces almost as many as well, lol). Add some corn or asparagus (steamed of course) and some Columbia Valley chardonay, and you have a very nice meal A simpler way to cook salmon we grew up with is to clean out the guts, stuff with a lemon and some herbs (parsley, chopped onion, a little rosemary or oregano), wrap it in tin foil and either throw it in the oven or on a grill. It's done when the skin will peel right off. Heavenly Of course, we have 5 different kinds of salmon to choose from here (well, if the fisheries don't collapse on us). A favorite food memory of mine is a desert we used to get at a little East Indian restaurant in Panama City, Panama while I was in the Peace Corps. It was made of candied grated carrot with ginger and some other spice I was never able to identify. I have never seen it offered here in the states, nor come across anyone who recognizes it, but it was really good!

I'd like to add that there are other ways to express yourself, and though this may be a little off base among a group of writers... if you like to draw, you might want to use a non-lined notebook or sketchbook for your journal, for those days when words just aren't what you need to express yourself. Some people draw, some people write, some people dance or sing or act... whatever works.

You must be thinking of Bulgar, clumber, and no, not in Panama. They mostly ate rice, corn, manioc and sweet potatos for starch. Though some here might have a taste for what they were measuring with their yarda, which is what they called the longer machetes. I did find it interesting also that in Spanish (or at least in Panama), just as the knife itself has rather obvious phalic references, the scabbard does as well. Interestingly, the colloquial term for the scabbard is vaina, which was literally translated to me as "pea pod". When I asked if they were familiar with the American saying "like two peas in a pod", I got some very startled, and very uncomfortable laughter out of the three men I asked the question to .

While you are giving that "we can't talk for a while till I get my head around this" speech, let him know you are going to be blocking his calls for the foreseeable future. I believe most cell phones can block individual numbers now, so you should be able to to do that fairly easily. You have to let him know you are serious, and doing it for YOU, not to hurt him, if you want a chance at his friendship later. If he can't deal with that, he's not worth your emotional time anyway, and a clean brake is all the more important. Be honest with him. Tell him how you felt after the break-up sex. Maybe it will help him understand what you are going through, so you can get the space you need. And good luck with it all! Don't forget to love yourself. That's the first step to finding someone who will love you back.

Um, I always thought "fridge" was short for "refrigerater"? And if we are going to get into hand signals... when I was in Panama in the Peace Corps, it took me a while to get used to how people show measurements. You know, when you say "it was THIS long" and use the appropriate hand gesture to show it? Well, in the US, we usually put our hands out, palms facing each other, and approximate how long it is by the space between our hands. Well, in Panama, they hold one hand straight out, pointer finger pointing and measure back along the wrist to forearm with the other hand, usually marking it off with the pointer finger. The first time someone did it to me it took me a bit to figure out what he meant, but of course it was still perfectly clear. I dunno what they thought of my hand gesture for the same thing Course, since all the guys in my village used a machete, sometimes they would measure it on the machete too, especially if it was something vulgar, lol. But I would probably get into trouble if I tried to explain that.

Incidentally, I think the "trunk" (for the back storage compartment of a car=automobile) in the US comes from the old practice of strapping a steamer trunk to the back of the old model A Fords and similar vehicles. Once that became common enough that the newer models were made with one integrated into the design, the name still stuck. And I agree, I think most people here would understand what a "pram" is (if not a buggie, that coudl be a couple of different things), but we call them strollers (which seems more descriptive to me for what it is.) Jelly is clear, jam is cloudy and preserves has lots of crushed or even whole berries, but they all work on toast or Peanut Butter and Jam sandwiches I live off the stuff, so I should know Gelatin, flavored or not, is compeltely different of cours,e though just as yummy. I like the jiggly stuff you can pick up the best.

jello= (instant) gelatin (simlification of the brand Jell-o, dunno how wide spread that is across the country, but it's certainly true here). band-aid= that little medical boo-boo cover upper (also a brand name, what's funny is I have actually seen a generic box use a very similar phrase, so similar I had to read it twice to recognize it was different. Unfortunately, I don't remember the phrase they used ) um, kind of esoteric, but a "blue jay" here in the northwest is actually the Stellar's Jay. Different bird (though closely related, and prettier, if darker) than the Blue Jay pretty much any where else in the country. hmm, I may have to come back to this... I know in an hour I'll probably think of more

Ok, as a total introvert, I could never be that blunt, lol... but the advise is still sound. Instead of asking HIM if he likes you, a safer way to go about it is, after talking to him a while to make sure the two of you really are interested in each other, at least as friends, tell him you are bi. If that goes over ok, then tell him you find HIM attractive. If he's not interested in you, you can blow it off as just being horny all the time and go for just friends. If he IS interested in you that way, even if he doesn't actually say anything, his body language will probably tell you if you pay attention. From what you have said, it sounds to me like he probably is on some level attracted to you. Whether it is a friendly kind of thing, or something more, you'll have to work out on your own. But if he is willing to just sit with you quietly and take his shirt off? Hmm, would make me wonder too. One further piece of advice, don't take too long to start up a conversation with him. If he really is interested, but doesn't sense anything back from you, he may just move on dissappointed. As Demetz says, joke around with him a while, see where it goes first. You've got time to get to the more personal stuff.

well, I have rather eclectic tastes... your mileage may vary

Rock Lane Cooper's 'Mike and Danny' series might fit the bill... http://www.geocities.com/rocklanecooper/ (also on Nifty under the Adult Friends category). There are, by the end, several intertwining stories in this one, several of which have a bit of age disparity. Also on Nifty; 52 Panhead (http://nifty.nisusnet.com/nifty/gay/beginnings/52-panhead/) Skin (http://nifty.nisusnet.com/nifty/gay/beginnings/skin/) Naked Surfer (http://nifty.nisusnet.com/nifty/gay/beginnings/naked-surfer/) kinda an eclectic bunch, so I hope there is something there for you Sorry most of its on Nifty, but I like the place *shrug*

Hmm, well I think you missed my meaning, at least in part. There is a difference between "acting out" in pretend, in play mode, and "acting out" by taking on the persona of the charecter you are acting as. One you can put on and take off like a pretend costume. The other is a deeper connection to the charecter, identifying yourself with that charecter. I used the term "obsessed" deliberately, it was not meant for dramatic effect. And sure, both forms of acting out are in most cases normal behavior for young kids. You want them acting out various roles to learn how to handle different situations in a safe way. You even want them to emulate heroes and such (both "super" and otherwise; doctors and police, firemen and even mundane roles like dads, shop keepers etc...) This is normal healthy behavior most of hte time. Its also why these games are completely innappropriate for very young kids, since the violence is NOT the kind of behavior you want them identifying with and emulating. So I will have to dissagree that the games aren't a causal affect in violent behavior in SOME kids (or adults for that matter). Not all, but some. And not the whole cause of violence, but certainly a contributing factor. I really don't think human behavior is so simplistic there is just one cause for most of our behavior. And that is my completely unqualified opinion, lol.

I'm not so naive as to believe violent games are the only cause of such behavior, but I think a pretty strong, if circumstancial case could be made that they are a contributing factor in cases like the young kid I reffered to. My sister was constantly talking aobut how this kid basically obsessed over the violent aspects of the game. He would literally act out scenes from it in his play time. Maybe that's not normal, but it certainly is a fairly clear affect of playing the game. And jsut as clearly, the attitude of the parents in this case was a huge influence on the child as well. Their inability to see it as a problem, and in some ways even encouraging the aggressive behavior by refusing to punish aggressive acting out, and calling it "cute", create an environment where there is no reason for the child to react otherwise. My sis is afraid this kid is a budding sociopath. It was literally that bad. And there is exactly the problem. "Balance" is key, but that is often a difficult thing for parents to achieve. The above is an extreme case for sure. But any teacher can tell you that 9 times out of 10, the problem child is one whose parents simply don't know or care enough to figure out how to cope with bad behavior. It's the "my little darling would never do that" response that is all too common. Sometimes I think that parents should have to go through mandatory parenting classes... after all, to get a gun or drive a car you have to get licensed. Why not make people get licensed for perhaps the most important thing you will ever do in your life? But then, whose version of morality would you teach new parents? ANd really, thats probably the most important part of parenting, teaching morality and ethics. As a society we are slipping more and more into forcing teachers into this role (which is one of the reasons I think so many people are opting out and either home schooling or sending their kids to private schools). The problem with this is that the US is such a mongrel culture, with no clear religious or other cultural common denominator that everyone can agree on as "the" ultimate arbitor of morality. We can't even agree on what is politically correct half the time, lol. So those poor kids that aren't taught this stuff at home are taught the barest bones basics in the classroom, usually barely enough to get through school.

Well, if you could count on parents to actually "do their job" as you say, then this debate wouldn't really be necessary, and quite possibly, games like this wouldn't spiral into the kinds of violence we are seeing now. And I have to say this, I have watched halo, and a bit of GTA (dunno nor care which version, personally it left me feelign rather sick to my stomach) and one of the major differences between these games and the old cartoons, is the realism with which the violence is shown. Tom and Jerry would never survive a half hour if the kinds of things they do to each other if they were shown more realistically, but its all shown with swirling stars and a wink and a nod. There is a tacit understanding that the violence is slap stick comedy, not real. You even get people arguing over whether or not Tom and Jerry LIKE each other. The same could be said of most of the old slapstick comedy, including things like Laurel and Hardy, the Three Stooges, etc. But these new games, and some of the cartoons too, have an oddly stylized, but still realistic portrayal of the violence- you shoot something and blood splatters all over the place, bodies scream and writh in pain as the car hits them... this is not at all comical, not portrayed as an escape from reality, its portrayed as an alternate reality. In the hero cartoons when I was growing up, things would get blown up, and the heroes and villains would punch and fight each other, but nothing more than torn clothing was ever shown. These video games are such a drastic change from that more innocent portrayal of violence its like night and day. It's also very different to WATCH a violent cartoon and be entertained vicariously through the actions of those on the screen, and physically DIRECT that violence with your charecter, shooting at or driving over the enemy and getting rewarded for your kills with virtual points. Studies have shown that the two forms of entertainment are VERY different, especially in developing brains. Once those connections are made, they are extremely difficult to break. Brain wave patterns for kids watching cartoons are very different than those playing video games, you can't really compare the two. If an adult wants to play these games fine, but letting these get into the hands of especially young kids can be dangerous for their mental health. My sister is a kindergarten teacher. A year or two ago she had a kid in her class that all the other teachers in her day care center were warning her about before she even got him. As it turns out, his father thought it was fun to play halo with him, and let him play it on his own as well. The kid had very little in the way of social skills, partly because his answer to any argument was to fight his way through. When asked to do any kind of creative writing, art projects, any of that, his work was always about blowing something up, fighting and killing things. In recess if he didn't get the ball, someone was going to get punched, that kind of thing. During conferences, when the near constant violence was brought up, the father shrugged and more or less said "boys will be boys, what's wrong with that?" and dismissed the teachers worry that this kid was sliding into anti-social behavior. So these kinds of games DO have an effect, and they may well affect you and your kids even if you never watch them yourself. I don't like censorship at all, but sometimes I do wonder if things like this kind of violence have a place in a "civilized" society.

Very true. While I have never had a SO in this situation, and maybe if I was in a relationship as loving as some of you apparently have i might feel differently, but I did help care for my mother when she was going through cancer and died of it. Its not quite the same, but it amazes me how family dynamics change and skew when these kinds of things are involved. And its not just the person who is sick/injured who is affected emotionally/physically/spiritually, etc. My sister would get physically sick when my mom was at her worst, I think in sympathy with her. I think this was also the time she stopped goign to church. My brother (who was the only one of the three of us living on his own at the time) would breeze in and make all kinds of 'helpfull' suggestions, then leave. My sis and I would just roll our eyes as he left, getting frustrated and feeling guilty about being frustrated that he wasn't more help, since he was having problems of his own at the time. We all had this kind of guarded attitude toward the end. It's a difficult thing to explain to folks who have not gone through it, but let's just say it confirmed for me that I do not want to see any other loved ones go slowly enough I can say goodbye. Make it a clean cut please. So from experience I would say that yes, I would try my damndest to help and be supportive and loving and all that, but there are so many issues with this that it is really impossible to say. It's so easy to say "we love each other, of course I would stay!" but when the reality sets in and your lover is sniping at you because he is deppressed and feeling like sh**, the meds he is on give him mood swings to the point you barely recognize him, your facing yet another month of scrounging for the money to pay medical bills AND keep food on the table and the house heated... stress does screwy things to relationships. This is such a complex question, with no real easy answer. Most of it, like life, depends on the circumstances.

What he said *points to the above post* In particular, I would like to highlight two things; "I'm very much opposed to people using bisexuality as an excuse to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend simultaneously. Well, actually I personally don't care at all as long as all three people involved are aware of the situation and okay with it, but again I would be fine with that for straight or gay people as well. It's the cheating and dishonesty that's a problem, not the bisexuality" Yes, exactly. In my opinion, whether you are grossed out by bisexuality or not, the main problem was not his sexualtiy, it was his lack of honesty, both about that and about seeing two people at once without those two knowing about the other. If he is willing to lie about that, what else is he willing to lie about? Its never a good sign. "The older I've gotten and the more things I've contemplated, seen, and experienced first-hand, the more I've come to the inescapable conclusion that gender and sexuality are largely irrelevant. I refuse to live a certain way because I'm a boy or because I'm a gay boy. I'm immensely satisfied as both a male and a homosexual, both lifestyles and the majority of things that go along with them are very suitable to me. I sure as hell have no desire to be a woman or to be straight, but I shall always do exactly as I please and freely blur the lines between gender and orientation as I see fit. -Kevin" This is about as clear and cogent an answer as I could come up with! I'm attracted to whom I am attracted to. The person is more important than their gender or anything else. It just so happens that I tend to be attracted to men, but if a woman came along who did it for me, I would hope I would be open enough and secure enough in my own self, that I would recognize that and deal with the attraction as is. But neither of those things have much to do with the original topic... so I think to bring it back, I will just say that none of my friends are getting preggers that I know of, and no one recently has come out to me as gay or bi, so I'll just have to agree that it is probably an age thing, lol. Or maybe its just that I tend to be too much of a hermit, and people don't tend to confide in me anyway

Um, realistically this has been done on a wide scale in the states (not in relation to gay issues in particular, but in racial issues most definitely). Its called integration. It is a federal program that mandates the desegration of the public school system. At the moment its falling apart and there is a ton of debate on the relative merits and demerits of the system, but this is partially because in large part, and subtly, it DID work. Did it totally fix the problem? Obviously not, and anyone keeping even minor tabs on the democratic side of the race for president can see a pretty good synopsis of where the system failed. But the point is it DID help to throw students of african american and "white" ethnic groups into the same schools, and they did at least partially have to learn how to deal with each other. Obviously we are not racially totally "equal" in the states yet, or at least racial tension is still very real, but I think the integration process has had a profound and largely positive affect on how americans relate to each other. My own highschool is in the suburbs. It's almost entirely white upper middle class to rich folks in my community, so the few african americans we have tend to be financially better off than most of the rest of us, many from families of proffessional athletes or prominent proffessionals. They have silver spoons shinier than most of the rest of us, lol. What is interesting to me is that the school system from start to finish is generally inherently more liberal than most of the rest of society. My community was almost knee jerk republican when I was growing up, about as "red" a politics as you could get. There was a story running around school when I was there that a few years before I was a freshman, the principle decided to invite some of the most prominent leaders of the local african american community, including a few religious leaders and the one black city councilman of Seattle at the time, to come give a talk at our school for the Martin Luther King Day assembly. Apparently they were all in the same car, and before they could get to the school, the car was stopped by the local police and the men were escorted off the island. The upheavel afterwards can be imagined. The police chief who authorized the officer to escort the councilman and the reverand off the island lost his job, and the mayor had to extend a formal appology to the men who were chased off by the police. I've often wondered how much that stuck in the craw of the presumably very conservative mayor, but he did do it to his credit. I think it's likely though, that even ten years before that, the invitation to the black civic leaders would not have even been given, and the mayor would not have been expected to make the apologies. Such is the power of desegregation, even in a community insular enough that it didn't actually have to participate itself in the actual integration program. There is also another way I tend to think of this issue. My sister is a kindergarten teacher at a private school. While personally she is pretty conservative, her attitude toward diversity I think is rather typical of most teachers I have met. Perhaps because, in the course of their work, they HAVE to deal with a diverse group of people, and because in order to control their classrooms they have to be very careful to foster understanding among their students, teachers tend to be more accepting of people's foibles than your average joe. If you can get little Johny to talk to Ahab and Ming, and accept that they are different but still people, you are less likely to have them fighting when you are trying to teach them their alphabet. It's also a self preservation thing, legally, because the teacher is responsible for those kids while they are in his/her care, and if they get hurt the teacher and school are in some ways liable. So, if they aren't at least acting as if they are open or at least accepting of people of various life styles, they open themselves up to lawsuits from parents upset that they are teaching their poor little darlings something they shouldn't, or worse that they "let" a bully hurt their child. That being said, I think most people who aspire to being teachers are kind of inherently more liberal about these kinds of issues. They tend to be "people persons" who genuinely care about the people around them. They kind of innately tend to want to bring people together, not dive them up. It's a double edged sword though... if a teacher is TOO liberal (like openly gay) they open themselves up to the opposite pressures of the more consevative elements of the parents getting upset. Public schools especially tend to be very carefully as much in the center of the pendulum as they can, while being as tolerant as they can of both sides. Bullies are always a problem, but there are truly elaborate systems in place to try and minimize those pressures as much as possible. Unfortunately, many students don't take advantage of the system to protect themselves, and it only takes one or two intolerant teachers, administrators or counselors to put the whole system in jeapordy, but overall most schools in the states are pretty liberal, epseicially if you compare how they were structured in, say, the 1950s and earlier. When I look at how tolerant most kids are today of different lifestyles, I can already see how different things are from when I was in school. Granted, the northwest is in general a pretty liberal part of the states, and other regions may not be as tolerant of diversity, but its amazing to me to talk to young people from very conservative parts of the state who are now much more accepting than their parents and grandparents. We may still have a lot of prejudice and homophobia in the states, but just look at history and you can see how different and better things are now than they were. At least kids CAN be open now. When my great uncle was in school at the turn of the 19th century, being "out" was neither an option nor even seriously considered.

Can't believe this is my first post... but the question, or more importantly the answers, kinda intrigued me... Ok, for me; I'm a bear, sorry. And that is NOT gonna change any time soon. More on that later, lol... anyway, I have hair pretty much everywhere, including a full beard, except the stuff on top is getting kinda thin. (Its not fair, really... BOTH of my grandfathers had full heads of beautiful, thick hair... yet I get my father's "caesar's crown" half ring of hair. Oh well.) I don't have much on my back, but the ass is pretty well covered. And since I'm what used to be called dishwater blond, it varies from almost transparent blond to darker caremel tinted brown in the center of the chest, beard and other thicker bits. I swam my way through college with a scholarship, and though back then none of us thought seriously about using wax, I DID have to shave for the important meets, starting when I was 14. So yeah, been there, done that, NOT doing it again. The right guy can get me to clip it all (assuming he is willing to help, lol), but even the beard is here to stay. I hate shaving to bare skin... I get a rash every time no matter how often I do it or what I use to keep it from happening, and honestly I could care less if others don't like it. If they don't like it, I probably will be better off not getting too close to them anyway. What I like; well, variety or maybe better put naturalness, though honestly a totally smooth body to me is rather boring. Stubble to me is incredibly erotic- the feel of it is rather like velvet, very soothing and pettable. Now I have to admit that every once in a while I get to feeling like a yeti myself, and don't particularly like that feeling either, so I will occassionally clip it down to stubble, but that is as far as I am willing to go myself, and I certainly would not expect anyone I was interested in to do more either, even in those sensitive areas. Mutual shaving might be fun, but it would have to be very carefully done and done often, cause I really hate the feeling of hair growing back in. Sorry, practicality before aesthetics for me. Hair color; personally I love grey hair, so honestly, I don't understand the fad to color your hair. Coloring it different colors can be more a personal statement, but I honestly get tired of the superficiality of people going to get their hair highlighted and styled to an inch of their life. Not very gay that, huh? I just like things to be real and natural I guess. Although I did get a big kick out of the idea of coloring your leg hair and going to the beach That would be totally hilarious to see people's reactions! I could never do it myself, just cause I hate that much attention applied to ME, but it would be fun to watch how people would react. Now on to my reaction to the discussion... I notice that almost all the people who answered the question are under 30. I wonder if that makes a difference as to how people react? The comment about no body hair looking prepubescent I think is rather accurate... I wonder if part of this has to do with age, and possibly how some people's reactions might change as they grow older? (I won't say "grow up" cause I am not sure that really happens to most of us, lol, nor am I sure that it would be a good thing) but as we get older our tastes DO change. I used to hate blue cheese, now I kinda like it under the right circumstances. Plus, as we grow older we naturally tend to grow more hair. In college, I had a furry belly and chest, but the hair on my arms was only up to the elbow. Now it goes all the way to the shoulder. Maybe some of you don't like body hair much cause you are not interested in older men, and perhaps subconsciously, you equate body hair with older men? Though with many of caucasian ethnicity, that makes little difference. Anyway, I personally prefer a man with at least chest hair and a treasure trail. And anyway, if there is too much, its always fun to do some mutual grooming.

um, Hi everyone! *waves* (btw, you need a smiley for that, lol). Just joined, so I hope this is the appropriate place to post first,