Tipdin

Happy birthday, Sir!

Yes, I saw this story on Anderson Cooper last night. Ridiculous. The poor man's parent's were SO misguided. I kept thinking about all the conflicting emotions his siblings and mom must have. What a sad, needless loss.

Happy birthday! What a great day to pick for such a thing!

...too nice not to elect douchey governors...? We've had REALLY douchey governors! Jesse Ventura was bad enough, but then we came up with Tim Pawlenty...!? This is just to embarrassing, I may have to move.

From experience here, I have learned not to give any comments at all, one way or the other. However, in the real world, I think that it's important for readers to give feedback. If an author is serious and wants to become a better writer, then feedback is absolutely critical - especially if a reader does NOT like the story. Grammar and punctuation are fairly simple, back and white issues for the most part. Content and delivery are more difficult things to deal with. Even if someone doesn't like the subject matter, they can still comment on whether the story was well told. In fact, if someone did not like the subject, they may make a better reviewer. Regardless of liking or not like the subject, reviews should be polite and direct. A reviewer must remember, however, that the story must remain the author's story, not theirs. I've had reviewers (not here) try to change my voice to theirs and that is not acceptable, that's not what the reviewer should be concerned with. Also, simply saying 'Good job!' is not appropriate either. It's fine if you liked it, but WHY did you like it? WHAT made it likable for you? Comments regarding what did and did not work are the vehicles by which an author can become better at their craft. Analyzing how the project was done or asking why a specific construction choice was made allows for a deeper understanding from the point of view of the reader as to what the author intended, and from the point of view of the author as to what the reader gleaned from what was written. If an author cannot survive a review, they really shouldn't be setting their work out for public consumption.

Many good comments here. Although, I think I am in a minority when I reassert my claim that ratings are irrelevant. If YOU like or dislike a story, how does your rating help ME decide if I am going to like it or if I should read it? Are your tastes the same as mine? If an author gets a good or bad rating, what does that mean? That the reader didn't like the story or didn't like the subject or didn't like the editing or didn't like the pacing or didn't like the settings or didn't like the protagonist or didn't like the...? A rating is irrelevant, it doesn't convey any meaning. If a reader were to leave a comment or commentary, then we have something more useful. They can say what they did or didn't like and why. Making a comment does not mean leaving a snide remark or nasty insult, - that would simply be an act of bullying. If readers and authors want true ratings and reviews, then comments and suggestions are the only way to accurately convey meaning. A reader can say what appealed to them, or didn't, and why. Editing and other construction faux pas can also be illuminated or discussed. A simple like or dislike, to me, as a reader and as a writer is meaningless, I don't care if you liked or disliked it - WHY you liked or disliked it is what I care about. If my story lacks focus or wonders all over the place while trying to make a point, then say so. There is no shame is being honest - and no learning without it. I'll never get better if nobody tells me to get to the point or quit making asides to my asides. Grammar and punctuation are somewhat straight forward, but can also be subjective in places - did I use punctuation in a way that helped or hurt? Was my grammar sucky or was I eloquent? We all start as beginners. Getting better means we learned better ways of doing what we do. We learn when someone gives us feedback - constructive feedback. Even if you hated what I wrote or wrote about, did I write it well? Was there a more palatable way to convey the thesis of the story? Even if you thought my story PROVED I must be a worthless human being, then I must have presented the proof well - what made it seem well done? A plus, minus, star, moon, or thumb up/down is worthless, it doesn't tell me or readers a single thing worth knowing. Just because this or that story has a 42-star rating doesn't mean a darn thing to me. I hate stories in that genre so I give it a half star. I hate the way the writer writes so I give it a thumb down. Who cares what I think? WHY is far more important - and that requires words. I've seen millions of posts and stories here with ratings on them that I thought were completely opposite of the way I would have rated them. There are highly rated authors here who I haven't been able to slog through even a single one of their stories. There are unrated authors here who have stories that I have re-read several times. A synopsis or a review will do a heck of a lot more for me than a rating.

The Rep buttons are more harmful than helpful. Whether you hit the + or the - is irrelevant. Without comments, the rating is meaningless. And the ease of hitting the Rep button means that one can express an overall impression without comment. Removing the Rep buttons would mean people would actually have to make a comment if they wanted to express their views. When someone clicks the + or the - are they commenting on content or editing, or are they agreeing or disagreeing with the author? There is no way to know for sure what someone is trying to say by clicking the Rep button. It's just a quick way to give a thumb up or down - and as most people know, a reviewer's thumb is not necessarily an accurate rating. Those buttons are, for the most part, just a quick way to piss people off.

not a fan - at all

It is very confusing, you are not alone. I gave up a LONG time ago trying to put anything online here. There are administrators to help with this sort of problem. Sorry I can't be very helpful. Cia has proven to be quite an angel on more than one occasion. You may try contacting Cia via this page: https://www.gayauthors.org/forums/user/10220-cia/

Flirting is fun, I do it with men and women - straight and gay - younger and older. Most people seem to understand when it's being done in fun. If someone doesn't understand, I simply inform them that I am not seriously flirting with them - that I'm just trying to butter them up so they will fix me up on a date with their brother. I think the secret is to be good at reading people. And if you're just meeting someone, flirting may help set the tone of the situation - the person's reaction may determine how - or if - the flirting should continue.

I think American TV and film has done a poor job of representing real life for gay Americans. But that's the first step to success - being portrayed at all. We then educate and tweak the portrayals. Then we keep educating and become accepted. Perhaps THEN we can become a bit more equal and empowered.

I believe this is possible. I have a few similar stories. One's mental state is extremely influential.

Certainly, many baby boomers are honorable people that have lived honorable lives. As we all know, there are always bad apples that get the majority of the attention and focus. When generalizing about boomers, there are some trends that have been documented, studied, and analyzed to death. Boomers did (and do) tend to overspend while not giving their children the best environment or education for maximizing their children's potential. Many boomer's children are copies of their parents - spoiled brats. They seem to be arrogant, entitled egomaniacs. However, I choose to focus on the children that became well-adjusted regardless of their environment - and there are many of them. A child's relationship with their parents is a complicated thing no matter what generation one is lumped into. My own parents were miserable failures. They set nearly every bad example you can imagine. My siblings, all now in their middle-aged years, continue to struggle with everything from paying bills to keeping a roof over their heads. My parents are approaching 80 years old so technically, they are not boomers, but they are examples of how many boomers lived - from moment to moment, thinking of themselves, not planning for the future, and not protecting their children. My parents are not malicious people, just misguided and immature. They are actually a lot of fun and sweet, they both have a great sense of humor. My father has Alzheimer's and has managed to keep his sense of humor even as his abilities fade away. They are at a point now where they realize they cannot live on their own, yet they have no money saved and no ability to improve their situation. My siblings are not able to give financial help so my folks are sort of stuck making the best of what they have. Without trying to brag, I am in a position to be able to assist my folks; however, because of some VERY bad choices on their part regarding me, I am not going to help them. I owned a business where my parents and siblings worked as my employees. After 10 years, my folks decided they knew what the business needed better than I did, and made a very hostile takeover. Long, dirty story, short, it ended with me being kicked to the curb without a dime. I was homeless and had no money or job - they had effectively stripped me of everything I owned. I was raising my 6 nieces and nephews and was forced to return them to their respective parents. I had to start life all over again. As it turned out, I ended up making plenty of money again, and started a relationship with my current partner. About four years after taking over the business, my parents and each of my siblings were forced into bankruptcy when the business they took from me went out of business. Everyone lost everything they had; homes, cars, jobs, income. What was supposed to be my dream job and life's work had been ripped from me and torn to shreds. Years later, everyone kissed and made up, but a sacred trust was broken and it will never be rebuilt. My parents have ALWAYS been terrible money managers and stole from me more than they would ever be able to replace. So if they cannot afford to stay in their home - a home that has no mortgage - then they must find their own answers. I will not bail them out. My siblings, who live near them, have been able to help my folks clean the house, cut the grass, shovel the snow, etc., but none of them can help out with money. Sometimes, the consequences of our actions are overwhelming. If my parents are overwhelmed by their circumstances, it is a situation of their own making, a situation that I at one time would have stepped in and made better. Because that sacred trust between parent and child was so utterly ruined, I feel sad for my parent's but not responsible for their care.

Oh gosh! I sort of crushed on him too. Still listening to his one big hit, I Was Made for Dancin'

Dog is let out and we walk back and forth along the pond barking at the ducks. (Well, the dog barks, I listen.) Mail is sifted for anything worth keeping. Go upstairs to the study and turn on the computer, I MUST have my music. Deposit keys, wallet, watch, rings, etc. into various pigeonhole drawers of the rolltop desk. Fluff the dog's pillow next to the computer and sit down to check e-mails.