Tipdin

I do not define the look as wrong at all, just not very attractive; whether male or female. I prefer to be able to tell one from the other. For decades women have been transforming themselves into men for some reason, and I miss the obviousness of the difference. Ellen DeGeneres has been wearing men's shirts, vests, and pants on her TV show for years, can you imagine what would happen if David Letterman wore ANY article of female clothing? Why is it ok for women to cross dress in public but not men? I see Ellen the same way I would see David if he were to wear women's clothing, it's out of place; a sour note in an orchestral lullaby. What's wrong with a women looking like a women? It's sad that so many women have such a very poor self-image. I'm not saying that women should freak out about a spider or wear frilly dresses, but really, what's wrong with women being different than men? Natural, physical androgyny is no big deal, I just don't understand why someone would deliberately go out of their way to blur the distinction between sexes. Are they ashamed of themselves?

Refusing to speak with your family sounds like a good idea! We all need to do whatever it take to protect ourselves, and you're doing just that. If one's family is the source of trouble, then one's family has to go. Even after 30 plus years, I still wish that I had succeeded in my attempt. I've tried to stay positive and do all the things the therapists said I should do, even tried medication, but life hasn't really gotten any better. Yes, I cope with things and can adjust my attitude and all that, but it still boils down to: I am unhappy and every day is a knee-high slog through mud - it gets exhausting. Now, with all of that said, I also believe everything, regardless of what, EVERYTHING happens for a reason. I was supposed to attempt suicide. I was supposed to spend a week in a coma. I was supposed to survive. I was supposed to live to tell my story. I was supposed to be there so I could have an effect on someone else. I had an effect on someone BECAUSE of what I had been through. Everything that happened in my life, made me the man I am today - and that, in turn, is WHY someone else was effected this way or that way. And that affect was SUPPOSED to take place. In short, I guess that's my justification for accepting whatever situation is currently playing out. Learn coping skills. Learn as much about everything as you can. Deal with life the best way you know how. Remember that it may not be about you, or even for you, but a situation may be playing out that involves you FOR someone else's benefit. As the old saying goes, We are, indeed, players and all the world a stage. Our part is played, not for us, but for those around us that we may not even be able to see. An actor acts for the benefit of his audience - and is thus transformed himself.

Yes, I've seen it. It was in my Netflix list and after seeing it, I rated it as ok. Seemed unrealistic to me. But it was cute.

Rude? NOT! YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT!

Texting or talking on a hand-held phone while driving is just plain stupid. It should be illegal and carry VERY heavy fines, maybe even jail time. In fact, I believe that phones should have GPS systems in them that will shut the phone off if the GPS detects significant movement. There is NOBODY that needs to answer phone calls and text messages while driving. NOBODY.

Though I am not member of it, I would also endorse Ancestry.com. The information available there is mind boggling. I can trace most of my lines of ancestors back for over 500 years, one line nearly 1000 years; however, the vast majority of the information consists of only forgotten names and dusty dates. To me, what puts the leaves and flowers on the family tree is the history not contained in names and dates. Tell me about my great, great grandparents; what was their most mundane day like? It would be completely foreign to my way of life today. My great grandfather was alive until I was almost 20 years old, we spent a great deal of time talking. He talked about when electricity was invented, (the lightbulb used to be considered evil) and then when people with money started putting water in their house, and even what he called an indoor outhouse, (which was consider the absolute epitome of UN-healthy ideas)! He remembered when the iceman lost his job. (Do most people even know what that means?) Horseless carriages were really amazing to him in his youth, but watching another human walk on another planet was WAY more amazing. Give me the stories, the events, the reactions, the most boring, the most simplistic; I don't care what it is! Give me the information that makes people of today snore - that will be what raises eyebrows tomorrow. I'm lucky in that one of my lines of ancestry actually did keep some records that consisted of more than who lived and when they married. I can read accounts from my 10th great grandfather and what a typical day was like for him - serving the King of France...! Everyone I talk to about this stuff, I tell them to write about anything and write about everything. It doesn't have to be great writing - just accurate. Let the generations of the future know what life is like for you. Give them your perspective - I especially tell that to my gay friends, or what I call my imported friends, who can document their journey from one country to another and compare the two. Just think about how we today, have been learning information about the past. We have to dig in the dirt and try to correct the guesses that were made before our own. We have to try testing and patching together snippets of knowledge gleaned from here and there over decades of investigation. Make it easy on the future generations - they'll have plenty of other things to sweat over, why make them sweat over information that we can so easily provide? I document everything I can, in as many ways as I can. Writing, photos, video, official documents, you name it. The more, the better. My grand nieces and nephews are loving all this "olden time" stuff - from the 80s! They giggle at the music and the clothes and the hair styles. I'm still listening to that music! Ok, I threw out the clothes - I wouldn't fit into them anyway... And most of the hair is gone, damn it. But the point is, they learned and enjoyed the learning. The past isn't a nebulous concept to them, it's real, concrete and, well... alive! Most people here are writers - so go forth and WRITE!

I'm always amazed at how many people I talk to that have no clue about their own history or genealogy. It seems so foundational to me.

Yeow! It absolutely unhinges me when wealth creates the power to get away with stupidity! (Been through similar crap as you.) I write REALLY realistic, violent stories when I think about a certain someone.... One nice thing though - you appreciate the good ones all the more!

You're sweet and I thank you! However, yes, it's over. We're both in relationships and he now lives in Arizona. He went from Minneapolis Queen of the Lakes to the elected Empress of Arizona. I kiss you for trying!

My first reading was from the works of David McLeod.

This thread brings up several ideas and question for me. In my family, genealogy and heritage issues were not a big deal. (I changed all that.) I'm mostly Scottish, with dashes of French, Czechoslovakian, Italian, Irish, Norwegian, and Native American. My great grandfather died when I was about 20 and we were very close - he patiently answered all my genealogy and family history questions. Neither set of my grandparents were very helpful, in fact one grandmother was downright dishonest about her family. It's taken me decades to uncover the truth! And I've spent a great deal of time and money teaching what I've learned to my family, especially the children. I went as far as having a coat of arms created and even a big 'ol ring that can be passed down through generations. As a gay man, I have lived and felt like I was outside the crowd. I never fit in. Hell, even among my gay friends I was chided for being so 'un-gay.' For me, genealogy and my family history has provided me with that feeling of belonging. I have a sense of place that has nothing to do with where I live, but everything to do with who I am as a human being, not a gay man. I can document my ancestry, (some of it back to the tenth century) and am proud of it, even the not-so-great parts; but to me, shadows simply serve to emphasize the light. Here's my question: Do you care about your genealogy and family history? Does it have much relevance to your family and your life? Here's my answer: In many ways, it has defined me and my life; giving me purpose and direction.

I think it's cute.

Biggest mistake and regret of my life is leaving a great relationship because I wanted to "see what's out there" - and I found out. We are friends still, 30 years later, but I found out that I started with a Rolls Royce and worked my way down from there.

Technology has provided me with so many toys - - I love this stuff! However, before I would consider a chip, I'd have to see more security measures in place. Maybe a thumb or finger print, or better yet, an eye scan to verify the chip user...?

It's nice to know that there are people with phones that actually DO try to be polite. I thank and congratulate you.

I'm always available to practice with. It's a hobby that I'm rather fond of, and good at...! I share my hobby with my friends - as often as possible!

Many studies have been done regarding colors affecting people's moods. There is a measurable correlation. For me, I tend to gravitate to more mellow, somewhat muted colors. My house is a pseudo-medieval cottage. Even though it has a number of fairly subdued colors, it also has a great many textures that pop; brick and stone walls, wild Gothic, Eastlake, and Medieval furniture of various wood grains and hues, busy, gilded picture frames and such. The overall effect, I'm told by my friends, makes most of them nervous and paranoid - but I find it inspiring and soothing.

I'm not exactly sure I followed your explanation; however, if you click your mouse in the margin at the line where the **** show up, you can delete them. You can also reveal your formatting by clicking the little backward P. I don't know which version your using, so I can't say exactly where it's located. Once you find the reveal formatting button, you can surgically remove the **** without destroying your other formatting. I hope that helps.

Intelligent and sensible - a rare combination! I vote for you!

Thank you for the thoughtful responses. I've spent too many years in the mental-health field, I guess; too analytical.

What does it mean to be gay? What is it that attracts someone to the same gender? I've grappled with this question for decades. Many here, tend to be a bit touchy or quick to ignite, so let me start by saying I MEAN NO DISRESPECT TO ANYONE!!! My ex-partner was the local Gay Queen of the Lakes in Minnesota for several years running. Even though I was helping sew his gowns together and do his hair, I just didn't understand it. When all dressed and ready to 'go on stage,' the man I knew was gone. The transformed person, who was demur and feminine was completely unattractive to me. First of all, I am a gay male and I was looking at a facsimile of a female. I am (mostly) attracted to dark-haired, hairy, masculine men. My ex-partner, in his Miss Julie, Queen of the Lakes form, was the opposite of everything I like. But we had many friends that were drag queens and that was a big part of our life. Now, before some of you start shooting at me, re-read the above piece.... Ex-partner, helping him transform, many drag queen friends.... I have nothing against drag queens or androgynous people - MY PARTNER WAS VERY, VERY ANDROGYNOUS, that's a big part of why he won the crown for so many years in a row. But here's my quandary. Why are so many gay men attracted to female facsimiles? In my head, being a gay male MEANS being attracted to male attributes. And I've had lesbian friends who would knock me down and walk across my face trying to get a good look at a female that I mistook for a male. Why is it that same-sex attracted persons are often attracted to a person who looks like the opposite sex? Again, I have nothing against androgynous people or drag queens, or anything like that. I've know many, and have friends (and family) that fit this category. I simply don't understand the attraction that many have to such individuals, since I find it so completely off-putting. This is not a put down but a genuine question regarding what is attractive and why. All I can come up with is that sexual orientation is a sliding scale, not one-side-or-the-other of a coin. Does where we land on that scale on any give day or moment, have an influence on what each of us finds attractive? Of course, our upbringing and all that crap play a big part, but it doesn't fully explain the situation. OK, my shields are up - shoot away.

For many years, I was part of the theater world. My partner is a SAG member from his Broadway days, and this song has special meaning for many gay men that lived through Stonewall and the first AIDS years. I still belt it out and nearly always end it with tears in my eyes.

Honestly, looking at that model creeps me out. I really, REALLY dislike it when someone's sex is unclear, or when gay men and women dress like their opposite sex. I prefer men to look like men and women to look like women. Men and women that ACT like men and women are very attractive to me. Best of all is a hairy, masculine guy!

It is an interesting subject. As I read the note here, I wondered, are people more in tune to their sexual orientation now than in years past? More and more people are realizing that orientation is on a sliding scale, not one side of a coin. One's degree of orientation can also change for various reasons so it's is very difficult at times to pin it down. Very few people peg the meter at one end or the other. Most everyone I know has entertained the idea of a a sexual situation outside of the "normal" range. I seem to be one of the gay people that is so gay I can't even think straight. I not only peg the meter, but I wrap that needle right around the peg! For many years I have worked with psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, family therapists, and so forth so we have people all over the orientation scale. I'm so used to it, that sometimes I forget that most people DON'T consider one's sexual orientation to be a fluid situation. (Hmmmm, may not have been the best phrase to use...but you get the idea!)

It reminded me of the late 1970s and early 1980s when any man that was even SUSPECTED of being HIV+ was fired, tossed out into the street and refused entry to any hospital. I was one of a group of people called AIDS Buddies, we worked extra and/or odd jobs to buy groceries, and cared for our sick gay brothers that were forced to live in abandoned buildings without heat, water, furniture, or anything else, including medication and respect. It was a very shameful period in history. Hmm, we seem to have a lot of those periods....