BrunoBR

Not only is this situation regarding my therapist horrible but also I always have a hectic and chaotic life, which is really bad already and makes me wish I was dead on a regular basis. I've decided I'm going to tell him everything just as I told you all here.

Thank you, droughtquake and Freerider. Actually, I don't want have someone tell me something different. I know it's something nearly impossible to happen and I have and want to keep my feet on the ground. I don't want to lose my therapist either. So, I think only one question remains to try to resolve this: should I tell him one last time about my feelings that I expressed here and eventually try to have his help to work on this situation or do you think it wouldn't be worth it as I may cause some unnecessary hassle?

"Even removing a flaw is dangerous. We never know which is the flaw that supports our entire building." Clarice Lispector (loosely translated from Portuguese by me)

Hunter, have you considered telling him your feelings? What do you think about it? If he is your coach/therapist, maybe you could work on this situation. But if you think it could hinder your sessions and your are interested in keeping your therapy no matter what, so I wouldn't give you this advice. But if it is something that really bothers you and you don't worry about the possible outcome, I believe you could tell him what you are feeling. At least you would let off some steam.

Boa tarde, Tiger! Thank you for your response. Well, I also think it's unlikely that he feels the same way. My main concern is that I don't know how to deal with it and what to do. I've just read through the article about signs, but it's impossible to make some conclusion because our relationship is strict to our sessions. I don't know how he behaves near other people or patients. I don't know much about his life out of the office and I may confuse some signs, like he is always interested to know more about me, he leans over to talk to me, but he does these kinds of things because he is my therapist, I can't tell he shows interest because he's into me. Most of these sings are part of his job and the rest is a little impossible to know for sure. It's really difficult. It's bothering me so much. I think I'll have to be honest with him and tell him all this and if there's no solution I'll have to look for another therapist, sadly.

I’ve always been undergoing psychotherapy since I was 11 or 12, now I’m 26, due to depression, anxiety, among other things. I’ve had lots of psychotherapists, most were women, two therapists were man, one of them is my current therapist. He’s my therapist for about 5 months give or take. I don’t know why but I feel more comfortable having a male therapist. My first and last male therapist was really good and handsome, he was way older than me and married, also I was in a steady relationship at that time, so I didn’t feel anything special other for him on the personal side, though I had to stop my sessions due to some financial problems back then. However, my current therapist… I don’t know how to convey what I feel for him, so I’m just going to say that I’m really, really into him. My current therapist is very nice, thoughtful, kind, helpful and has always been there for me during my worst moments, a really good professional. Since the beginning of our sessions I started to feel something for him and this feeling has been growing bigger and bigger, I don’t think it’s love, maybe it is, but I really feel like I’d want to be with him all day long. Sometimes I believe I don’t want to date him or have a relationship, but I’d just like to make out with him. I know that it’s not possible because he’s my therapist and I don’t even know whether he’s gay and I think he’s not. One day, during a session, I was feeling that I wanted to hold him and kiss him so badly that I had to tell him and I did it right away, that day, like three months ago, I told him that I was into him and I kept thinking about it all the time. He was very kind and said it was natural due to our bond that was built during the sessions, but things couldn’t go beyond the professional relationship, like therapist and patient. Well, I didn’t get over it. Today I had another session and I can’t stop thinking of him. I’ve already hung out with other men, but my therapist is still inside my mind and it’s consuming me to the point of hindering my attention during the sessions. I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking about talking to him about it again, but I believe it won’t be a solution. I’ve already told some friends about this situation, but I got the same advice. But, again, I just can’t stop this feeling. I also think about giving up on him and look for another therapist, but he’s a good professional and I really like his work, also it’s really difficult to find good therapists, I know, I’ve had many. I’m really confused, kind of distraught right now. I don’t want to give up on a great professional, but I can’t get over these feelings. Have you ever gone through this kind of situation or something similar? What did you do? If you haven’t, what would you do? Thank you, guys. PS: I’m not a native English speaker, so please go easy on my mistakes, but feel free to kindly correct me if you like, I’d be happy to improve.