The Castaway Hotel - 6 - 2. Chapter 2 - Smooth Sailing

Ricky’s birthday was a few days later and I wasn’t about to let it pass without doing something special. With that in mind, I rounded up the family before I called him, because I wanted to make sure everyone got a chance to speak with him before I hung up. This would not only give each of them a chance to wish him well on his very special day, but it would also let Ricky know we hadn’t forgotten about him. I felt that was as important as acknowledging his special day.

Even though Ricky’s birthday is on July 7th, we had to call him on the afternoon of July 6th, to compensate for the difference in time zones. Australia is fifteen hours ahead of us, so it was already the next day there and I certainly didn’t want this to be a belated celebration.

Ricky’s host mother answered the phone on the third ring and I chatted briefly with her, before she called Ricky to take the call. As soon as he said ‘hello,’ we all began singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him and most of us even managed to stay in key. I think he was moved by this simple act, even if it wasn’t a stunning performance, because he seemed to be a little choked up as he began to speak. After thanking us for calling and not forgetting his birthday, he hesitated again, as he fought to control his emotions.

Once he’d regained his composure, Ricky announced he had received his gifts and loved each of them. I told him we hadn’t sent very much and he would receive the rest of his presents when he returned home, but he said he was satisfied with what he had already been given. All we had sent him was some new clothes, a couple of CD’s his brothers thought he’d like and a note that I had transferred more money into his bank account there. Well, there was also a little added surprise tucked in with everything else.

While I was trying to think of something meaningful I could include for him, I had an inspiration. I decided to send a camcorder as one of his gifts, which would compliment the digital camera he had taken with him when he left. This way he could record the events of his trip to Australia two ways. He would be able to use the pictures and videos later, to remind him of this experience and allow him to relive these precious memories again. It could lead to many hours of reminiscing about this unique opportunity in his life and he would come to appreciate that immensely, whether he knew that now or not.

In addition to what we sent specifically for him, his package also contained the items he had requested for Peter. Although he had only asked me to send some underwear for his host-brother, as Peter seemed to think the ones from the States were softer and felt better when he put them on, I included a bit more than that. I ended up sending him a couple of packages of colored briefs, a package of boxer briefs and several pairs of boxers, all in Peter’s size.

Ricky told us Peter was thrilled when he saw how much we had included for him and was extremely pleased by the assortment. Ricky even allowed Peter get on the phone to chat with us and he thanked us personally for his presents. Since he was on the speakerphone, we could all hear what he had to say at the same time and I think we were all fascinated by this young imp. The boys and I all thought his accent was precious, and we could have listened to him for hours, if Peter hadn’t insisted this was costing me too much and Ricky should be doing most of the talking, since it was his birthday. After thanking us once more, he handed the phone back to Ricky, so we could finish our conversation.

Once he got back on the line, my blond angel and I discussed the items I was having delivered to his host family’s home a little later, as tokens of appreciation from our family to theirs. Ricky was a little surprised when I told him what I planned to do, but said he thought the items would be perfect. I advised him I’d order them from an Australian company, to avoid any problems with compatibility and functionality, and have them delivered as soon as possible. He thanked me for doing so much and then the boys all screamed happy birthday to him one more time, before they left the room.

Once we were alone, I told him I wanted him to call or email me after the gifts to his host-family were delivered, so I could learn how they were received. He said he would and I knew he wouldn’t forget, because he was as excited about this as I was. Before I hung up, I told Ricky I loved and missed him once more, after which he added his own response.

“I know you do, Dad, and I love and miss you too – more than you’ll ever know.” Damn, he still knows how to pluck at my heartstrings.

After I got off the phone with Ricky, my three student drivers began bugging me to take them out for another lesson. I really hadn’t planned on doing this, but agreed to take them to the school parking area and let them practice driving around the empty lot. Since the 4-Runner was in already in use, we had no choice but to use the Grand Am for this lesson.

Of course, Nick wanted to go first, as he always did, and since I had made him wait the last two times we practiced, I allowed him to switch places with me now. Nick actually handled the situation very well and did everything I requested from him. He even kept his aggressiveness in check when I asked him to practice making a hard turn, like he was trying to prevent having an accident.

We did this several times, with me pointing and shouting when I wanted him to pretend he was avoiding a car that was backing out, or swerving away from a child or pet that was darting into the roadway. I also had him brake hard a couple of times, to practice his emergency stops, because I wanted each of the boys to realize how far the car actually travels, even after the brakes are applied. Once Nick had finished his turn, I let Vinnie change places with him.

As a general rule, Vinnie showed a good mixture of aggressiveness and restraint in his driving, just like he did with most things in life, but today this was not the case. The first time I asked him to try a sharp swerve, to pretend he was avoiding a dangerous situation, he not only cranked the wheel, but also gave the car more gas, which caused us to do a 360-degree spinout on the blacktop.

As this was taking place, I worried about what else might happen, but luckily nothing did. However, once we came to a stop, I told Vinnie to put the Grand Am in park and then just sit still and not move, until my heart stopped racing. I also used the time to regain my composure and think about how I was going to handle the situation, but Vinnie broke the silence first.

“I’m a pretty good driver, aren’t I?” he asked, much to my amazement and shock. I just stared at him in disbelief.

“That wasn’t exactly what I was going to say,” I told him, which caused him to look startled.

“Why? What do you mean? I did pretty good at that, didn’t I?” he asked again.

“Vinnie, do you really think doing a doughnut would prevent an accident?” I asked, rhetorically. “Not only did you manage to screw up doing what I wanted, but what you actually did was very dangerous, enormously risky and extremely foolish. You were more than a little out of control and I’m very disappointed in your judgment.”

Vinnie looked toward the back seat, hoping to gain support from the other two, but they were both quiet. It was obvious they were still shook up from the experience, but I suspect neither of them was impressed with Vinnie’s actions either. Trey looked like he might have crapped his pants during the episode, while Nick was rubbing various bruised and tender body parts. I discovered later that Nick hadn’t remembered to buckle up when he hopped in the backseat, so he had been slammed viciously about during Vinnie’s little maneuver.

Unfortunately for Nick, his face was slammed against the back of my seat, while his hip simultaneously banged into the armrest on the rear door, when Vinnie first reacted. If that wasn’t bad enough, his head was then jerked very forcefully against the window, when Vinnie accelerated and the car spun out. However, his getting banged up had a positive slant too, since he also learned that utilizing his seatbelt would have prevented the extent, and severity, of his injuries.

“Vinnie, I’d like you to switch places with Trey right now,” I suggested, with a touch of annoyance and disappointment tingeing my statement.

“Why? I haven’t had my full turn yet,” he snapped back.

“Maybe not,” I replied, “but I think you need to spend some time thinking about what just happened before I let you drive again. After Trey has had his turn, then I’ll consider giving you a second chance.”

“But…” he began, before I cut him off.

“Sorry, no buts,” I announced, quite sternly. “Switch with Trey now, if you hope to have another shot at this after he’s had his turn.”

Vinnie flashed me a very hostile look, to let me know he was unhappy with my decision, but he was smart enough not to say anything more and did as I requested. Maybe it was due to the fact I was glaring back at him, because I wanted him to know he had reached his limit with me for now, but he took the hint and didn’t press his luck further. Slowly, he got out of the car and exchanged seats with Trey. Once they were both buckled up, I allowed Trey to get started.

After what had just happened, my typically timid Trey was even more restrained. He wasn’t about to do anything as reckless as what Vinnie had just pulled, but he wasn’t doing what I wanted either. At that point, I tried hard to encourage him to go faster than 5 m.p.h. and he did pick the speed up a little. However, he was still more cautious than usual, so I made him stop too, so we could talk this over.

“Look, this lesson won’t help you if you don’t practice doing it at normal speeds. Anyone can avoid problems when they’re hardly moving,” I emphasized, “but it takes skill to avoid problems when driving the speed limit. I just don’t want you to get carried away with this, like Vinnie did.”

Vinnie started to protest from the back seat, but I held up my hand and cut him off, before continuing with Trey. “Do you think you can do that, or shall we call it a day and just head home now?”

“No, I can do it. I’ll be fine,” Trey assured me, before starting up again.

This time he did much better and was getting the type of practice I wanted him to benefit from. He still didn’t do as well as Nick had, but he kept improving with each try. Once he had gone through his final braking attempt, I allowed him to switch places with Vinnie again, since I’d decided it would probably be best to give Vinnie another chance to prove himself. As Vinnie slid back into the driver’s seat, he looked at me, like he wasn’t sure what I wanted him to do next.

“Look, let’s just forget about your earlier attempt,” I offered, trying to take the edge off of an already tense situation. “All I ask is that you keep yourself and the car under control this time.”

“I’m sorry,” he replied, sounding more humble than before. “I was just trying to show you I’m a good driver.”

“Well, that’s not what I observed,” I advised him. “What I saw was the first indication that you can be reckless at times and that’s not a good trait for a driver… at least not a driver in my household.”

He looked down at the steering wheel, instead of at me, but didn’t reply right away. After several seconds, he finally looked up and began to speak, but it wasn’t exactly what I expected.

“I just wanted to show you that I was as good a driver as any of the others.”

“That’s fine, but you won’t prove it to me by pretending you’re a stunt-car driver or a crash-test dummy,” I shot back. He gave me a strange look after I said this, but then cracked a small smile.

“Okay, so I got a little carried away,” he admitted, “but I am a good driver and I’ll prove it to you.”

“I hope so, but you’ll only do that if you can learn to keep yourself, and the car, under control,” I reiterated.

Vinnie nodded at me, turned the key in the ignition and then pulled away from where Trey had finished his turn. This time he did much better than he had on his first attempt, but there was still one thing that concerned me. It was his braking times.

Due to the problems with his legs, it seemed to take him a bit longer to bring the car to a full stop than it did the others. It wasn’t that the braking distance changed or was different for him, but it did take him a second or two longer before he was able to bring his foot down against the brake pedal. Now, I had to find a tactful way to explain to him that he’d have to leave himself more leeway for emergency situations. Other than that, as long as he is able to maintain his self-control, he should do fine.

When we got back home, Nick managed to turn his retelling of Vinnie’s first attempt into a big production. He embellished the story to the point where the rest of us could hardly recognize what had actually happened, but did it in a way to make it sound humorous, not life-threatening. The other boys were listening intently and getting a chuckle out of his rendition of the facts.

As I glanced over at Vinnie, he seemed offended by Nick’s routine, but once he became the center of attention because of it, he began adding his own touches to the story. He was really enjoying his time in the spotlight and I knew this episode would eventually become one of those tales that would crop up again and again over the years. It would be told at family gatherings, including the holidays, and relived every time someone new was introduced to Vinnie. As I saw it, this was bound to become a staple recollection when the boys and I reminisced about what it was like growing up in the Currie household.

Later that evening, after things had quieted down, I took Vinnie aside. I wanted to calmly discuss the ramifications about what had transpired during the practice session, while it was still fresh in his mind.

“Vinnie, I think we need to sit down for a few minutes, so we can discuss in more detail what happened earlier.”

He suddenly looked apprehensive when I mentioned this again, since he thought I had said all I was going to say earlier. His eyes shifted nervously from my face to the floor, as he contemplated what I was going to tell him. He still nodded his head in agreement with the conditions I was setting and allowed me to speak without interruption. In an effort to avoid bringing further undue embarrassment for Vinnie, I led him back to his room, where we would be alone.

“I know, I blew it today,” he admitted, as soon as the door closed. “I’m really sorry, but I was just trying to show you I can do most things just as well as anyone else.” I merely looked at him and thought about my response.

“Vinnie, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone, especially me,” I informed him, in all sincerity. “If that was what you were trying to do, all you accomplished was alerting me to the fact that you can also be tempted into reckless behavior at times, just like most of the others. It was something I didn’t expect from you, since you’ve always shown good restraint. Not only that, but you also proved you are willing to sacrifice the safety of others in an attempt to impress someone or make a point.”

At this juncture, I expected him to protest, but he didn’t utter a sound. Instead, his face began to turn a nice shade of crimson, just before it drooped toward the floor. He stood like that for a short time, while he also shuffled about uneasily on his feet, but then he finally spoke.

“I’m really sorry,” he confessed. “I didn’t mean to do that. It’s just that everyone looks at me and immediately sees a cripple. Most of the time, they just assume I can’t do the things they do, so I just wanted to show them they were wrong.”

“I don’t think anyone in this household views you that way,” I told him, as calmly and positively as I could, “but if they do, it is their problem, not yours. What I’d prefer you do is to show me you’ve learned how to compensate for your limitations by making adjustments that are well thought out, mature and responsible. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, Vinnie, but acting like a jackass doesn’t help your situation.”

“I know you and the others don’t think of me that way, but you don’t know how it feels to have people look at you and only see what’s wrong with you,” he confessed, and I could tell this perceived scrutiny, whether actual or merely imagined, hurt him deeply.

“What’s worse is when they start feeling sorry for you,” Vinnie continued, “because all they can think about is all the things they believe you can’t do.”

“I don’t think anyone in this house or anyone who knows you well thinks like that,” I advised him. “You’ve more than proven you’re as capable as anyone else, in most areas. Hell, when I go anyplace with you, I have a rough time just keeping up with your pace. You speed along with those crutches like it’s some kind of a race and I almost have to run, so I don’t lose you.”

He looked down again, knowing he had done this to me many times already. Some of the boys had even told him to slow down when we were out, so I wouldn’t have a heart attack trying to keep up with him.

“But, Pop, you don’t know what it’s like when people only look at the crutches and not at you,” he told me again.

“The rest of us may not have any physical handicaps that stand out like yours, but we have experienced similar situations,” I explained. “For example, what about my heart condition? Don’t you think that has a similar effect on people, including all of you boys, as you try to keep me from doing many of the things I enjoy and was accustomed to doing.” Vinnie looked up at me, with a slight expression of horror etched on his face, when he realized he had done this to me as well.

“I understand and appreciate everyone’s concern,” I added, “but it also allows me to experience and empathize with what you’re going through. The one difference I see is, they are not focusing on my limitations, but on my future well-being. That might be the case with some of the people you mention – maybe not all of them, but at least the ones you were trying to impress today.”

“And then there are other things that effect people’s perceptions of us, some of which you are also familiar with as well,” I added. “For example, when people learn about someone’s sexuality, they often only see that one aspect of the individual. It ends up shaping all of their views of him, like nothing else matters. That can be just as bad as them looking at your physical handicap.”

Once again he seemed to be studying our feet, as he contemplated what he was going to say next. “I guess,” he conceded, “but I hate it when people think I can’t do things as well as them. There might be some things I can’t do, but not as much as they think. Really! I can do most things as well as anyone.”

“Vinnie, you don’t have to convince me. I realize this and think almost everyone who knows you does too,” I told him, “so, you don’t have to do anything special to prove yourself to us. What you have to do is stop trying to impress strangers, because who cares what they think. Those of us who know you already realize you can do almost anything you set your mind to, so don’t worry what anyone else thinks. Okay?

“Yeah, I guess so,” he agreed, but I wasn’t sure if his heart was really into this concession. “I guess what I did in the car wasn’t really cool, was it?”

“Well, if a tire blew or the car’s weight had shifted past a certain point while you were pulling that little stunt, it could have rolled over and who knows what might have happened or who could have been injured.”

“I guess I didn’t think about that. I am really sorry,” he apologized, while looking very guilty.

“I can tell you mean it,” I agreed, “ so nothing more will be said about this, as long as you don’t repeat your mistake.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” he quickly confirmed.

“Even though that’s settled,” I continued, “I did notice it takes you a second or two longer to hit the brake pedal, so I suggest you compensate by leaving an extra car length between you and the vehicle ahead.”

“Okay, I can do that,” he agreed. “I did realize it was a problem and was planning on asking you what I should do to make up for it. Before I did, though, I wanted to prove I was a good driver first, before I admitted I had trouble braking. I guess I should have come to you about that earlier too, huh?”

“Yes, you probably should have, but at least you realize you have a slight deficiency and are willing to compensate for it,” I confirmed, as he smiled at me. “Before you leave, however, there’s one more thing I’d like to discuss with you. I think you’ve been here long enough to make another very important decision and this one also concerns your legal status in the family. What I need to know is – would you like for me to adopt you too?”

For a split second, I thought I saw a look of concern, or maybe even fear in Vinnie’s eyes, before his face dropped toward the floor yet again. I noticed a slight quiver along his upper lip, as if something was bothering him, and I was afraid he was trying to find a way to avoid answering my question. I assumed it was because he felt he might be betraying his parents in some way if he allowed me to adopt him, so I tried to ease his concerns.

“Hey, you don’t have to do it. It’s your choice,” I offered, in an effort to give him a way to save face. “I just wanted to know what you thought. If you want me to adopt you, I’ll get things started. If not, then I’ll drop the idea and not say another word about it. It doesn’t mean anything will change between us, but I wanted to give you the choice.”

He looked at me, almost as if he was unsure if he should speak, but finally he did. “It’s not that,” he replied, while looking slightly terrified. “I would love to be your son, but then it would make Kevin my brother and I don’t want that. I want Kevin to be my lover and then maybe someday we could even get married or something, but it wouldn’t seem right if he was my brother too.”

Suddenly, I gained a new insight about his reasons for hesitating before he responded. “Yes, I think I understand,” I admitted. “Well, we don’t have to go through with this, if it’s not what you want to do, so don’t worry about it. I won’t bring it up again.”

“But that’s the whole point,” he nearly shouted, before I could leave. “I DO want to be your son and I want all the other boys to be my brothers too, but then it would mess things up between Kevin and me. I really want to be part of a family again, so I can feel like I belong somewhere and not just a guest in someone else’s home. Can you understand that?”

“Yes, Vinnie, I can and do,” I agreed. “I just hope you realize that you’re not just a guest here though. You’re part of this family, whether I adopt you or not.”

“I know and it’s what makes saying no to you so hard,” he said, almost on the verge of tears. “I really want you to adopt me, but I don’t want Kevin and me to be brothers. That would be like incest, if we got married, and I don’t want that feeling to spoil what we have now or in the future. I don’t think it’s bad to mess around with a brother now and then, but it would be a whole different thing to marry one.”

“Hey, I do understand, so you don’t have to worry about it,” I agreed. “Let me run this by Uncle Steve though and maybe he’ll know of something we can do legally to make you part of the family, without putting you and Kevin in an awkward position.”

“That would be cool, if you could,” he replied quickly, suddenly looking more cheery than I’d seen him since before our driving lesson. “I’m sorry if I messed things up for you or hurt your feelings.”

“You didn’t do anything except enlighten me about your concerns, so don’t worry about it,” I told him.

“Thanks, Pop,” he responded, while giving me a hint of a smile. “You made me feel a lot better about everything and I’m sorry about earlier too.”

“Hey, I said we wouldn’t mention that again, as long as you’re more careful in the future,” I reminded him.

“Okay, deal,” he shot back quickly.

As I left his room, I had some new things to consider. I hadn’t realized Vinnie felt this way before, but I’m glad he had the guts to tell me, without worrying about hurting my feelings. I mean, I knew Kevin and he were close and were working on a relationship, but I didn’t know he hoped for them to marry one day or that he worried he couldn’t do that if they were brothers. In fact, I completely understand why he feels this way. I guess there aren’t many guys who would think about marrying their sister, so why would a gay guy be any more inclined to marry his brother, natural or adopted?

As I walked to my own room, I hoped my friend Steve would be able to pull another rabbit out of his hat and give me a way to make Vinnie a part of the family, while still dealing with his other concerns. I knew it was probably a long shot, but it was all we had, unless a lightning bolt struck me first.