The House Always Wins - 18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

Hola diary,

Hmm, I just thought of something: am I reading too much into this and maybe he was just playing with me...

**********

The more I thought about it, the more I became convinced that that was what Michael had been doing: playing a game.

Of course it had been! And I was the one who had started it, damn it. I'd grabbed the remote. I challenged him. Of course he played along. He probably thought it wasn't anything more than a little roughhousing and okay, he got carried away a little by the moment, and got away with it.

I groaned audibly, letting my head sag on top of the diary, which lay spread on the bed.

Stupid! He was probably in the study right now, laughing his ass off; that he'd gotten that far without me even doing as little as try to fend him off, instead even kissing him back and rubbing his thigh! Oh man... I couldn't believe I had done that!

This brought on a horrifying thought: what if he thought I was easy? Would he think that? Maybe try a few more times, see if I'd let him go further? Hey, the thought wasn't that hard to follow from there; after only knowing him for what, a week, I'd already let this happen. What's to say I wouldn't let it go further? That I wouldn't mind dropping my pants and let him have his way with me?

I groaned again, not in the least because a picture flashed in my mind, a picture of him and me in such a compromising situation, even Bill Clinton would blush all the way to his hair roots. Even my body reacted to that single graphic thought.

This was not good, not good at all. I'd have to be very careful from this moment on, and not lead Michael on in any way; not taunt him, especially that, so that he wouldn't have a reason to use the situation to his advantage.

All right. Here's what I could do: go to bed at my usual time, preferably before, so he wouldn't have a reason to boss me around, subsequently making me argumentative. Check. Avoid situations like tonight. Check. Wear a chastity belt. Check. Yeah, right.

I sighed and rolled onto my back. None of that was going to work. The only thing that would work was for me to not let myself get carried away, like tonight, and for God sakes; keep a clear head.

**********

I pretended to be asleep later that night, when Michael turned in. I listened as he went from the bedroom door, which he softly closed, to the closet and from there to the bathroom. He spent a few minutes in there, and then came back, to sit down on his side of the bed, his broad back turned to me. He took off his watch and reached for the remote, but, instead of switching on the TV, he put it back on the nightstand. When he prepared to get under the covers, I closed my eyes quickly.

I didn't know what he was doing the next few seconds, but there was no sound, no movement; then he slipped his legs down, accidentally touching mine, and pulled them away when he stretched out beside me.

"You little shit; couldn't leave me any room, did you?" he whispered.
That's when I realized that up until then, I'd been so wrapped up in faking it I hadn't thought about the fact that I was not exactly on my side of the bed - I was lying in the middle.

Real smart, JJ, I thought, now what?
That became clear pretty quick.

He shoved his arm under my pillow, as he'd done every night so far and lay down. As soon as he did that, something tickled the tip of my nose and then an arm landed on my midsection, on top of the covers and my own arm underneath.

His scent filled my nostrils as he slowly settled into a position comfortable to him and I found it increasingly uncomfortable for me; how the hell was I supposed to sleep with soft chest hair tickling my nose?

I wouldn't, that's how. So I mumbled a little, as if I was dreaming, and started to turn onto my back. I didn't get very far; the arm on my side held me back and a knee of his slipped between my raised leg as I tried to turn. My nose now touched his chest and the tickling on my nose became a maddening experience; it was either scratch or sneeze.

Bringing my arm up was not an option, so I did the only thing I could do, if I didn't want to suddenly wake up without a reason; I rubbed it against his chest, adding a sleepy mumble.

"Shit."
Shit?

He moved suddenly, withdrawing his knee fast. Fast enough to justify me waking up and I pretended to start awake.

"Mmm?" I rose up on my right arm.

"Nothing, go back to sleep," he spoke, sounding chagrined. What his problem was, I don't know, but he rolled onto his back, with one leg over the side of the bed, and sat up as soon as I rose.

"Give me a bit more space, will you? I'm almost falling out."
I scooted back to my own side, shivering a little because it was colder there, and laid back down.

"Sorry. G'nite."
He took a minute or two; then he also lay down again. He didn't turn on his left side. Instead, he turned onto his right and flicked off the light

"Goodnight," he replied, softly.