Urban Knights - 5. Chapter 5

“Damn it…It went straight to voicemail.” Drew sighed tossing the phone.

“That means it’s either dead or he’s turned it off.” Mona stated picking up his phone from the foot of his bed and placing it on the table beside him. “My bet is it’s off.” She sat patiently with Drew who had been trying to reach Tony for over an hour, but to no avail; both now starting to worry.

“I really hope he’s not doing anything stupid.” Drew said scratching nervously behind his left ear, a look of concern evident in his eyes.

“I know. But if he’s with Daryl they can be up to anything.”

**

“There’s the building up head on the left.” Daryl pointed as he cut the engine and the lights. Tony stained his neck squinting his eyes to see through the darkness.

“Hummm.” He nodded as he surveyed the area. Up a head to the right of them was a red brick building with a neon light flashing the word, ‘Liquor Store.’ A few of the blubs were blown out, but you got the message just the same. Men and women alike were filing in and out of the desolate looking building with brown paper bags held tightly against their chest.

He watched as an older man stepped out glancing around before he pulled the brown bag down just enough to twist the cap off, of whatever was inside. He quickly turned up the bottle taking a long drink, using the back of his hand to wipe his mouth before twisting the cap back on. He smiled pleasantly looking around once more, before shoving the paper bag into his pocket. He turned up the collar of his military styled jacket and walked around the corner. Tony turned his attention back to the building in question.

“So Spade is hanging out in there?” Tony questioned skeptically knitting his brows together as he examined the structure.

“Yeah…” Daryl nodded crossing his arms over his chest as he scooted down in his seat getting comfortable. The building was deserted, run down and dark in appearance except for the dim porch light shining on two little boys playing marbles next to the steps.

“How old do you think they are?” Tony asked pointing to the little boys.

“I don’t know, six or seven…Maybe.” Daryl said with a shrug of the shoulder.

“Would you let your children play outside alone, in this neighborhood?” He questioned feeling pity for the little boys.

“You’ve got to remember Tony this is all they know.” Daryl replied sitting up in his seat looking at the kids in question. “Some make it out and some don’t.” He added.

“It’s a shame. They’re innocent, they didn’t ask for this life.” Tony sighed with compassion combing his fingers through his hair.

“You and Drew want kids?” Daryl glanced over to Tony changing the subject.

“Yeah…yeah.” He nodded, “we’ve talked about it…someday.” Tony smiled at the thought, not taking his eyes off the little boys.

“I think you guys would be great parents.” Daryl smiled before turning his attention back to their task. Tony glanced over to Daryl returning the smile.

**

“Good evening. How’s my patient doing?” Jill smiled as she entered the room carrying Drew’s chart.

“Hey Jill…” Drew waved still slightly distracted. He picked up his phone and started playing with the key pad. “Oh nurse Jill this is my friend Mona Lafon."

“Hi again…” Mona waved kindly. “I met her out in the hall.” She said to Drew,” She’s the one who showed me your room.” Drew nodded about to redial Tony’s number again. His actions were put on hold when Jill opened her mouth motioning for Drew to do the same.

“I’ve got to take your temperature.” She informed him as she carefully inserted the digital thermometer into his mouth. He sat the phone back on the table watching as Jill took his pulse. He smiled weakly to Mona who watched on quietly. Jill placed his arm back on the bed and jotted a few notes in his chart before removing the thermometer from his mouth.

“98.5…” She smiled removing the plastic sleeve and tossing into the trash can. “Looks like you’re going home tomorrow after your Hyperbaric treatment. Um… let me get a look at those stitches.”

Mona politely excused herself, “I’ll step outside.” She eyed Drew, “and try to reach Tony and Daryl again.”

“Okay…” Drew replied as he opened his gown for Jill.

**
“We got movement.” Tony sat up eagerly and pointed to the black navigator that pulled in front of the building. He and Daryl watched with anticipation as the driver; a white male exited the driver’s side. He glanced around shoving his hands in his pants pocket before making his way up the sidewalk. Daryl reaches in the backseat and pulls out a manila folder and starts shuffling through the pictures.

“That’s Ron Edwards.” He stated handing Tony the photo.

“Spade’s new driver.” Tony acknowledged, he had done his homework too. He examined the photo before handing it back to Daryl, “So where is Spade?” He wonders aloud chewing his lower lip.

“Hopefully he’s inside.” Daryl answers, glancing over to Tony before quickly turning his attention back to the scene in front of them.

They watched Ron stop where the boys were playing, and squatted down beside them. Tony slowly reached for the door handle straining his eyes to see, ready to jump out at the slightest indication that the kids were in danger. He watches the man hand each one of the boys something…money…candy, he wasn’t sure. Ron patted one of them on top of the head before standing up and heading inside the building.

**
“They look good, giving you any problems?” Jill asked as she charted in his folder.

“They sting a little.” Drew replied as he closed and tied his gown.

“That’s normal.” She explained, “Their healing faster than usual due to the oxygen treatments Dr. Cory ordered for you. He usually does that with gunshot wounds.” She informed him. “You’ll experience some stinging if you move fast or sudden, the stitches are stretching.”

“Stretching?” Drew frowned.

“Yes, but don’t worry they won’t pop,” She laughed at the panicked expression on Drew’s face, “just don’t overdo it.” She smiled placing a comforting hand on Drew’s shoulder. “There will be some itching too.” She warned. She stopped and glanced around the room. “Hey I saw your parents leave earlier, where’s that handsome husband of yours. He’s got the whole staff of nurses talking about him.”

“Um…He had to run some errands,” Drew said only partially lying. Not knowing where his husband was or what he was doing had Drew’s stomach all tied up in knots.

“Oh…okay.” She said noticing the look of uncertainly in his eyes. “Well I’m going to go get you something that will help you sleep, you need to rest. Your treatment is scheduled for five in the morning. The doctor has ordered one more before you leave tomorrow and depending on how you’re healing, he might have you come in as an outpatient and receive a few more. But they look very good to me.”

“Good…” Drew smiled.

“I’m gonna go get your friend and I’ll be back with your medicine.” She smiled, picked up his chart, and headed out.

**
Tony and Daryl waited impatiently for over an hour before Ron reemerged from the building…alone.

“What the fuck….?” Tony mumbled faintly. “Where’s Spade?” He asked rubbing his hand down his chin in frustration. They watched as he got into the SUV and drove away. “Maybe we should follow him.”

“I’m on it.” Daryl said as he picked up his radio receiver. “Follow the black Navigator.” He instructed the person on the other end. He read off the license plate number before placing the radio back in its cradle. “There, we stay here and keep an eye out for Spade.”

A light tap on the passenger side window alerted Tony’s attention. He turned seeing a pair of voluptuous breast pressed up against the glass. “This is not happening.” Tony sighed, shaking his head as he cautiously rolled down the window, while Daryl sat back in his seat quietly chuckling into his fist.

**

“No Luck…” Mona said as she entered the room.

“Me either….” Drew took a deep frustrated breath of air holding up his phone.

“I even tried Carlos.” Mona informed him. Carlos Rodriguez was one of the other officers in their squad.

“This is not good.” Drew said roughly rubbing his face. “I really need to get out of here.”

“For what?” Mona asked quizzically. “There’s nothing you can do, we don’t even know where they are.” She pointed out.

“This is just so frustrating.” Drew sighed, “I know he’s doing something stupid…something that could get him killed.”

**

“What’s up?” Tony said with a quick nod of the head to the young woman.

“I was about you ask you the same thing mister.” She smirked, flipping her blonde extensions over her shoulder as she leaned further into the window. “You and your boy over there looking for a good time?” She asked flirtatiously, her voice sexy and alluring.

“Boy?” Daryl repeated under his breath, almost feeling insulted.

“It depends…” Tony replied in a deep husky tone. “How much?” Daryl covered his mouth chuckling in his throat as he watched Tony play along. Truth was they should have been arresting her for solicitation to two police officers.

“Well….” She smiled reaching in caressing Tony’s cheek, trailing her nail lightly down the side of it. “For both of you…Hmm...” She hummed thoughtfully, pursing her red, lipstick coated lips. “Because you’re so damn cute, I’ll say a one fifty for straight, anything kinky will cost extra.” She said licking her lips suggestively.

“What do you think…Bob?” Tony asked trying to suppress the laugh that was bubbling forth.

“But, Martin sweetie. You promised me a young stud for our first threesome.” Daryl replied attempting to bat his eyelashes at Tony.

“Oh…” The young woman stepped back placing a hand to her chest in surprise. “That’s your man?”

“Yep…” Tony smiled taking Daryl’s hand and kissing it.

“You’re fags?” She asked with incredulity.

“Certified card carrying members.” Tony said pressing his lips together smiling. Daryl nodded scooting over to Tony, placing his head on his shoulder, playing along.

“Damn, what a waste baby. One night with me, ‘Sweet Dee’” She said pointing to herself, “and you’ll never want a dick again, I can guarantee it.” She winked at Tony. “I’ll even fuck you for free to prove it.” She stated confidently.

“I doubt sweet heart, but thanks for the offer.” Tony smirked with a wink.

“You turning down free pussy, you really must be gay.” She laughed humorlessly. Daryl sat up when a dark car pulled up next to them smoothly placing his hand on his gun. He and Tony watched cautiously as the passenger side window slowly rolled down.

“Sweet Dee!” The voice called out holding up two twenties. Both Tony and Daryl released the breath they were holding slowly, Daryl removing his hand from his gun.

“Ooohhh…” She smiled running her tongue over her lips. “Later boys, duty calls.” She said, tugging down her short, tight, black dress that had risen up her thighs. She adjusted her purse strap over her shoulder as she tiptoed over to the car in her four-inch heels. “Good luck fellas and remember to wrap it up.” She called over her shoulder and giggled before getting into the car.

“Man…remind me to come back and arrest her later.” Tony laughed shaking his head. He and Daryl both sat back into their seats returning their attention to the building ahead.

**

“Here we go.” Jill said in a cheery tone, bringing in Drew’s meds for the evening.

“Do I have too?” Drew pouted.

“Doctors orders.” Jill teased. Drew reluctantly held out his hand allowing Jill to drop the pills into them. He tossed them into his mouth and took the cup of water to wash them down. Jill stood back eyeing him suspiciously.

“Ahhhh….” Drew stuck out his tongue allowing her to inspect.

“Good…” She smiled. She turned her attention to Mona. “Sorry Mona but my patient needs his rest. Visiting hours is over dear.”

“Okay…” Mona replied getting up from her seat. She placed a reassuring hand on her friend’s shoulder. “I know it’s hard, but try not to worry...Okay?” She said softly. Drew nodded taking a deep breath. “Tony’s a shrewd cop; he can take care of himself.” She smiled. Again, Drew just nodded and smiled. “I’ll check on you tomorrow.”

“Thanks Mona.” Drew said grabbing her hand.

“You bet.” She said kissing his cheek. “Bye," she waved before heading out the door.

“Okay you…” Jill smiled, “You get some rest, I’ll check on you later.” She adjusted his covers, picked up the half-empty cup of water and headed out too. Drew watched as she closed the door behind her. He sighed reaching for his phone once more.

“Tony, where the hell are you.” He sighed tapping the phone against his chin thoughtfully before trying to call his husband again.

~*~*~

Drew sighed, trying to force a smile and stay focused for his families benefit. He was all set and ready to be discharged from the hospital with a clean bill of health. The doctor did however instruct him to take it easy and with no strenuous activities for at least two weeks. His mind constantly drifted from the conversations going on around him. His and Tony’s parents were busily chatting, all waiting for Tony to arrive. Drew never told them he hadn’t talked to his husband since yesterday. He didn’t want them to worry. However, at the rate the morning was going he feared he might have to confess. It was almost 9am and the only thing holding him up was the nurse who ran downstairs to pick up his medications with the promise she would be right back.

Drew watched the clock chewing nervously on his thumbnail. It seemed as if the seconds were moving faster than usual. Drew’s eyes darted up when he heard the door open. He sighed disappointedly when the nurse entered with a bright smile carrying his meds.

“Here you go…” She said handing Drew a small white paper bag. Drew opened the bag peeking inside. He pulled out the instruction sheet giving it a once over. “Do you have any questions?” She asked offering her assistance.

“Nope…” Drew exhaled tiredly. “I think I’ve got it.” He nodded with a warm smile.

“Okay…” She clasped her hands together. “You ready?” She asked as she walked over behind his wheel chair. It was hospital policy that a staff member escorts the patient to his or her vehicle upon release.

“Son?” Drew’s father said getting his attention. “We’re about ready to leave, where’s Tony?” He asked looking down at his watch.

“Yeah, where’s is that son of mine?” Tony’s father chimed in.

“Oh... about that,” Drew took a deep breath. “You see….”

“Hey, guys…” Tony said poking his head in through the door. He hurried over to Drew, and bent down attempting to kiss him on the cheek. Drew’s body stiffened at Tony’s touch. He forced a smile glaring at him out the corner of his eyes tilting his cheek upward to receive his kiss. He noticed Tony was wearing the same clothes he wore the day before.

“There he is.” His mom smiled. “We were about to leave without you.”

“Um…leave without me?” Tony questioned. “You wouldn’t leave without me…right, Drew?” He asked through a nervous laugh, placing his hand on Drew’s shoulder.

“No….” Drew stared at him feeling his anger rising. “Of course not.” Drew replied through clenched teeth. He reached up placing his hand on Tony’s giving it a firm squeeze. Tony tried not to wince at Drew’s painful grip, forcing a smile.

“Ahem…” He cleared his throat. “So we ready?” He nodded quickly adjusted his cap.

“Let’s go.” Drew’s mom smiled kissing her son on the cheek. Everyone followed behind the nurse who wheeled Drew out of the room and down the hall. Tony stood back allowing everyone to exit first. He and his father were the last to leave.

“Everything okay son?” He asked with concern placing his hand on Tony’s shoulder.

“Everything’s just fine dad.” Tony lied forcing a lopsided smile. “Just fine…” He sighed motioning for his dad to go ahead of him. Tony rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and shook his head following him out. “This is going to be a long night.” He muttered under his breath.

Tony’s parents rode with them back to their apartment preventing Drew and Tony from talking. Drew sat there fuming the whole way. When they arrived home, their parents helped them get settled in, insisting that they cook dinner.

“It’s been a while since Drew’s had a home cooked meal.” Drew’s mom mentioned as she entered the kitchen, making it her own.

“Mom, you really don’t have too.” Drew said.

“Nonsense, we’ll be glad to cook.” Tony’s mother insisted, pulling pots and pans from the cabinet. Drew sighed, running a hand through his hair before heading into the living room where Tony and their fathers took residence. Tony had taken his shower and was dressed casually in a pair of navy sweat pants and a basic white tee shirt.

When Tony tried to smile up at him, Drew pursed his lips and turned on the TV, forcing Tony to engage in a conversation with his dad. Not so much later, the mothers announced that dinner was ready and everyone took purchase at the dining room table. They talked jovially, all happy to be together in the comfort of home instead of surrounded by the dreadful white walls of the hospital.

All through dinner, Drew kept shooting glares at Tony who would smile timidly and rub the back of his neck. At one point, Tony even tried to engage Drew in conversation, but Drew only gave short answers and changed the subject. Tony knew that he was in trouble and dinner had ended too quickly for his liking.

As soon as dinner was finished, the parents cleaned the kitchen, restoring it to its proper order before wishing Drew and Tony well and heading back to their own homes for the evening. When the click of the lock sounded throughout the room, Tony knew that his fate was sealed. He watched as Drew slowly turned around and leaned his back against the front door. He crossed his arms over his chest and tapped his foot impatiently, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

“Um…I'm going to get a beer.” He hurriedly walked toward the kitchen. Drew pushed himself off the wall and followed his husband. He stopped in the doorway again crossing his arms over his chest again.

“Where the hell have you been Tony?!”

Drew’s agitated voice startled him, even though he was expecting it. He jumped hitting his head against the top of the freezer. “Damn it Drew!” He said in a loud tone, rubbing the top of his head.

“Don’t get mad at me because you’re guilty.” Drew huffed spitefully feeling no sympathy for his husband.

“Guilty?” Tony questioned as he twisted the cap off his beer. “Of what?”

“Well….let’s see. You promised me you would come back to the hospital last night and you didn’t, AND you cut your phone off so I couldn’t get in touch with you.” He added. “To me that constitutes Guilty!” He stated pointedly. “So again I asked where the hell have you been and what where doing?” He asked glaring at his husband.

Tony stared at his husband for a few moments knowing he had a right to be upset, he was wrong. However, he also knew he wouldn’t approve of what he and Daryl were up to. He and Drew made it a rule to never lie to each other, thus why he cut off his phone, he wouldn’t have to answer any questions. Looking into Drew’s eyes, he knew it was time to fess up.

“Okay….” Tony sighed. He pulled out the chair and dropped his tired body down. With his arms still crossed tightly over his chest, he leaned back against the wall readying himself to hear Tony’s confession. “Daryl and I found Spade’s hide out.” He stated as he eyed Drew. He waited for a response or question and got neither so he continued. “We did a little stake out.”

“Spade...Stake out?” Drew questioned.

“Yeah….”

“And?” Drew asked as he carefully walked over to his husband.

“We didn’t get him…” He admitted in a hushed tone.

“You didn’t get him.” Drew repeated, his tone lacking any emotion.

“He never showed up, we sat there all night.” Tony sighed combing his fingers through his hair.

“Okay….” Drew leaned against the kitchen counter, “Let me get this straight. You had me worried about your Ass all fuckin night…You didn’t even have the decency to let me know you were all right, Tony. How self absorbed are you?” Trying to keep his voice at an even keel.

“Self absorbed?” Tony asked rhetorically. Pushing himself up from the table. “I may be a lot of things, Drew, but self absorbed it not one of them…” He defended. “The whole reason I was out there all night was for you." He stated adamantly.

“Me…” Drew pointed to himself.

“Yes…Yes.” Tony nodded wide-eyed. “That motherfucker almost killed you.” He spat with disgust. “I can’t let him get away with that.” He stated with conviction.

“The captain was right Tony. You need to let them handle this; it’s way too personal for you.” Drew stated with compassion. He closed the space between them and placed a loving hand on his husbands shoulder.

“No…this is my fight…my battle, I’m taking Spade down.”

“Tony….” Drew said with pleading.

“What Drew…what?” He asked sharply. His tone harsh.

“Look at you.” Drew stepped back shaking his head in disbelief. “I don’t recognize you.” He sighed.

“What?” Tony asked incredulously. “I’m the same man you married, but I’m also a cop, Drew.”

"But Tony, I'm a cop too... It's what I do. I take the risk Everyday...just like you." He stated vehemently. “I took the same oath as you…To protect and server. I go up against bad guys all the time… it’s my job…It’s my duty!”

“You don’t get it do you?”

“Ohhh... I get it Tony.” Drew charged. “It’s you that don’t get it.” Drew countered. “Out there on the streets I’m your partner, and we are out there together. I got your back just like you’ve got mine. I was a cop before I met you Tony, I don’t need you going all vigilante on me.” He stated with conviction. “The bullet I took was meant for me…not you. He was shooting at me Tony.”

“But it was Spade that set it up Drew. He has a problem with me…not you, it’s personal for us. If you weren’t with me, you wouldn’t have gotten shot, don’t you see that?”

“What I see is you treating me differently Tony and I don’t like it.”

“You’re right because it is different, I love you, and I’m not going to lose you to the hands of the son of a bitch.”

“What about me losing you?” He replied crossing his arms over his chest. “How do you think that would make me feel…I love you too Tony, that’s why I’m asking you not to do this.”

“I have to do this Drew. I have to protect you.” He stated firmly.”

“Protect me?” Drew frowned disapprovingly. “Have you forgotten who I am Tony? I’m a cop, Tony…you married a cop, did you forget that?”

“No... No…” Tony stated crossly. “I know you’re a cop. I’m not stupid Drew.” Tony spat defensively.

“Then…”

“Then what?" He questioned fractiously. "You know what Drew, That’s it… this conversation is finished!” Tony threw his hands in the air in frustration and walked out of the kitchen.

“Why, because you say it is!? Well I say it’s not. You don’t get the last word here!” Drew stated sharply, his words falling on deaf ears. He let out an exasperated breath throwing the dishtowel across the room watching it hit the wall and fell to the floor. A heavy sigh escaped Drew’s lips as he collapsed into the chair. “Ouch...” He winced feeling a sting in his chest from the stitches. His husband was being stubborn and it frustrated him. This was going to be a long night.

~*~*

By the time Drew calmed down enough to go to bed, Tony was already asleep. The sound of Drew entering their bedroom awakened him from his slumber. He knew Drew was upset and he needed his rest so he was glad he finally came to bed. He yawned sleepily turning over from his stomach onto his back adjusting the covers around his waist. He closed his eyes attempting to return to his dream like state, but the sounds of Drew rummaging through the closet caused him to stir again. He shut his eyes tightly pulling the covers over his head to drown out the sounds, to no avail.

“Drew…” Tony sighed rubbing his eyes tiredly, “what are you doing?’ He asked slightly annoyed. All he received as an answer was muffled grunts. “Come Drew, come to bed. It’s not that deep.” He sighed sitting up scratching his head. His eyes widened when Drew emerged from the closet carrying a blanket and extra pillow.

“Ahhh…come on Drew, get in the bed.” He said exhaustedly pulling the covers back for his husband.

“I’m not sleeping in the same bed with you.” Drew stated adamantly, giving him a defiant stare.

“Don’t be childish Drew; you’re tired, weak, and just got out of the hospital. You need your rest now come to bed.”

“Ohhh… so I’m childish?” Drew asked incredulously while tossing the blanket at Tony.

“Hey…” Tony ducked, “Cut it out Drew!” Tony glared, knocking the blanket angrily on to the floor. He tried to regain his composure. I’m tired and so are you.” He stated, “I’m going to sleep I have a busy day tomorrow.” Tony rolled over snatching the covers up over his body. “There’s no reason for you to sleep on the couch."

“I’m not sleeping on the couch…you are.” Drew seethed tossing the pillow at his husband’s head catching him off guard. He winced through the slight pain in this chest.

“What?” Tony sat up grabbed the pillow and slammed it on the floor. “How are you gonna put me out of my own bed?” He asked with an angry stare his chest rising and falling heavily.

“It’s my bed too, and I don’t want you in it…not tonight!” Drew stepped back, defiantly, yet carefully crossing his arms over his chest.

“Drew?” Tony stared at his husband compassionately. “Come on….” He pleaded. Drew scowled at him with an arched brow tapping his foot against the floor.

“Drew?” Tony whined with a stunned gaze; his mouth agape. He sat there in stunned silence for a moment, sleepy blue eyes locking in on determined brown. Seeing that his husband wasn’t going to budge, he conceded, shook his head and reluctantly climbed out of bed. “Drew?” He pleaded once more, making one last ditched effort.

Drew walked over to the door, opened it politely, and nodded for Tony to leave. “Good night Tony.”

“Night…” Tony grunted as he snatched the blanket and pillow off the floor. He looked at Drew with pleading eyes bumping against him as he past. He stood silently in the hallway and sighed upon hearing their bedroom door close behind him.

The night proved to be long, lonely, and uncomfortable for Tony. He tossed and turned all night trying to get his long lean body comfortable on the 1’” and a half too short sofa. He mumbled a few choice curse words and punched his pillow in effort to fluff it.

“1:00am.” He squeezed his eyes tightly and sighed.

“2:15….shit.” He muttered pulling the covers up over his hips which exposed his feet and ankles. He turned over on his side and curled up into a ball trying to cover his entire body to no avail.

“3:45…” Okay this is ridiculous.” He swung his legs over the side of the couch sitting there trying to decide what to do. He glanced down the dark quiet hallway that led to their bedroom, more importantly his nice warm, comfortable bed. Combing his fingers through his hair, he decided to go for it.

He quickly stood and grabbed his back…”Ouch…” He groaned massaging the tightness there. Armed with determination and an aching back he marched down the hall. He was the king of his castle and he be damned if he was letting Drew kick him out of his own bed.

A perplexed look appeared as he stepped closer to the door. It was closed. He and Drew never closed the bedroom door at night. He was further vexed when he tried to open the door; It was locked.
“Locked…why that little shit.” He chuckled softly. He knew his husband all too well. He rested his head tiredly against the door tapping it lightly, but not enough to wake him. “Sleep tight baby.” He whispered before heading back down the hall in defeat.

BEEP...BEEP...BEEP

The sound of his phone woke Tony from his shallow sleep. He tiredly reached for it, his eyes still closed. "Paris..." He muttered sleepily. He sat up in a panic recognizing the voice. "Yes sir." He nodded, "No I haven't forgotten. I'll be there in an hour. Yes, sir he's doing fine. Thanks for asking. See you then." He said before ending the call. He sighed knitting his brows together in confusion noticing the thick, warm comforter that covered his achy body. "Drew..." He smiled before dragging himself off the sofa