Falling for a Bear - 1. Falling for a Bear

I stuck my hands into my pockets and scuffed at the ground with my new hiking boots. My brother had basically ordered me to break them in after he’d taken me to buy them yesterday, after my favourite pair of all-stars had disintegrated. So now here I was on the other side of the Athabasca river from my ‘new home’ in the wilderness, scuffing my new boots as I broke them in.

So, a bit about me. I am Hoyt Ford, I’m nineteen and I used to live the centre of Toronto. My parents died three months ago in a mass motorway collision: I miss them. It sounds obvious, but I think it bears repeating: I miss my parents, they were good people, they loved me and my brother, they raised us well. Too well I suppose because now, instead of being back in Toronto in some crappy apartment with my job in a bookstore and my friends who make my life bearable, I am just outside of Jasper, Alberta. My older brother Harry got married to the girl whose parents own the Alpine Lodge cabins on the river, and that’s where I have ended up. I live and work on the site, just like everybody else. My life is very different now.

And I’ll bet with a name like Hoyt and new hiking boots you’ll figure I’m some kind of big, broad shouldered jock, but no, that’s my brother. Harry is the clean cut jock with the megawatt smile that everyone loves. He’s also eight years older than me. I am the little nerdy one. I’m not even hot-nerdy, I don’t have muscle tone, I’m not all hard and skinny under my clothes, I don’t have great skin and a cute face. I’m boring looking; I have blond hair and washed-out sort of water colour blue eyes, I’m sort of pale, I have knobbly knees and practically no body hair for some unexplained reason. I’m not into sports and I’m not a gym bunny, so I’m all skin and bone and soft. I’m skinny and apparently pathetic. And I like guys who are like me, but with better hair. I hate my hair: it won’t be straight, it isn’t actually curly, and it’s not thick enough to make one of those cool over the eye fringes which the guys I fancy seem to be born with.

But Harry was sick of me moping around the campsite, bringing the mood down. It’s spring, the sky is blue, the river is icy cold as it always is and I do know how to be outside. He’s lived out here for years and I’ve been on trips to visit, it’s not like I don’t like nature. The best thing about having a much older brother was going on massive adventure hikes and explorations when we we’re younger. Harry is bust with repairs on site, and he sent me out to break in my new hiking boots so that I won’t get blisters later.

Having crossed the river by Alpine Lodge there is a bit of flat stony beech and a couple of paths leading into the forest. Last time I went for a walk, before my all-stars broke, I took the path on the far left, and I do not want to do that again. Up the far left path is a house, it looks a bit like one of our cabins, but bigger, rustic and well-built and beautiful. But the guy who lives there creeps me out. The first time I met him was not exactly my finest moment. I was peering through the windows of the big cabin, trying to see if anyone was there, when this shadow and this deep gravelly voice came up beside me.

“What’cha doin’ thar boy?”

I damn near jumped out of my skin. The man was huge, like well over six feet tall, more like six-six or six-seven. Have you ever seen pictures of those old style lumberjacks? Well he looked like that, huge and broad and hairy and totally not my type at all. He wore tight worn blue jeans and a checked shirt and a big grin. I think I managed to squeak out an answer, but I can’t remember what I said.

“You must be Ford’s brother.” His voice was just as deep an rough, and somehow the words were like a cheese grater on my spine and made me want to melt, tingles running up and down my body. I blamed my clothing, which was not very modest, t-shirt and jean-shorts. He checked me up and down. “I’m Todd Maxen, you are?”

“H-Hoyt.” Damn, I hated it when I stuttered. It only happened when I was nervous, or being distracted by my inexplicably hardening cock. The hell was wrong with me? I made some lame excuse and hoped he hadn’t clocked my hard on. He just grinned.

“See you around Hoyt.” And I could feel him staring after me as I practically ran from the clearing and back to the river.

Now I took the path which wound up and along the river bank to the right, going away from the direction of the town, the rough gravel path worn hard by the feet of tourists. It was a good day to be wandering around the low foothills in this part of the Rockies, the sun was out, it was warm and I hated to admit it but at least my new boots didn’t kill my soles in quite the way the all-stars had. It made good time up the path, listening to birds and being distracted by the world around me. I’d been up this way before, and there were a couple of inuksuk built along the edges of the path. The little stone markers pointed off into the woodland, marking animal tracks I suppose. They didn’t seem to point in any logical directions. I’d been walking for about half an hour when I heard the noise.

There’s all sorts of wildlife up the in forests around the Athabasca, wolves, bears, foxes, small stuff and big stuff, elk and deer and such like. Like everybody else I had gone through training of what to do if you come across a bear or a wolf. Attacks are really rare, most animals are more scared of humans, but being careful is a good thing. I turned around really, really slowly.

Standing at the edge of the path, just by one of the bigger trees was a bear. He was standing on his back legs, and taller than me. It was a black bear from the size, taller than me but not bigger than a really big man, but its fur was sort of charcoal grey and shiny. It was looking right at me. I gulped. Black bears are not usually dangerous, they’re shy normally, so the first thing I did was take a step forwards, wave my arms and shout. The bear took a step forwards too. In the sun he blinked and stared at me with big golden brown eyes. He had light cinnamon patches either side of his muzzle. His tongue was really pink. Running from a bear isn’t advisable. Official advice is to lay, face down on the ground and spread your legs so that they can’t flip you. And then you pray they get bored and wander off. Calling for help was out, so I dropped to my knees, kept one eye on the bear and carefully lay flat in the middle of the path.

So there I was, lying on the path, listening to the bear, hoping to hear him lumber off into the forest. There was sniffing, the presence of heat and warmth, the musty scent of fur. The bear was sniffing me. I opened one eye and saw his huge feet pacing on the path, big curved grey claws the size of my little finger. I gulped. The bear moved around me, sniffing and snuffling, and when I felt his cold nose on my bare thigh I flinched.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh god…I’m gonna die…

The bear pressed his muzzle against my taint and the heat short wired to my cock and made me instantly hard. I stopped thinking and just flipped over and scrambled backwards. On all fours the bear looked directly at me, his huge wedge shaped head level with my own. You’re not supposed to make eye contact with a bear. He huffed and sat back on his haunches, watching me. I watched him back.

For a long moment we both just sat there, staring at each other, and then the black bear gave a big huff, got up and walked off into the woods of the other side of the path. I watched him go. There was a little grey stone inuksuk on the edge of the path, and its pointing arm followed the bear. I lifted a hand to my face just as tears started to flow. All the way home, I ran.

*

That night I lay in bed in my cabin. I’d gotten my own when I’d moved. It wasn’t a luxury model, just a one room single storey set in the more wooded section of the campsite not far from the house my brother lived in. I had to go outside to use the bathroom, though the two building were attached, out of my back door and round the side of the cabin. It was private though, and that was nice. I stared at the ceiling of the cabin and thought about the bear. He had not acted how normal bears act, and that sniffing at the crotch thing… I squirmed in shame at how my body had reacted.

I splayed a hand on the soft doughy flesh of my flat stomach and growled to myself. Fine then. I was alone, I had my imagination, and if my conscious was going to behave like that I wouldn’t bring it along for the ride. I didn’t have a wealth of sexual experiences to go on, a couple of quick and fumbled hand jobs, two blowjobs given, one received and the night I regretted deeply. I’d so not wanted to finish college as a virgin, so I hadn’t. My imagination was way better anyway. I wrapped my hand around my cock, which like the rest of me, wasn’t brilliantly impressive, five inches and a bit non-descript, and began to jerk off. What did I want? I scrolled through my set list of remember porn, half remember actions and imagined fantasies fuelled by the internet. Some hot rocker, skinny pretty boy with a guitar and great hair. Bright eyes gesturing me forwards, making my name sound sexy instead of sounding like I grew up in a hick town in the middle of nowhere.

Focus Hoyt… I gritted my teeth as I increased my pace, imaginary kisses setting my skin on fire, feeling the brush of soft and talented lips working their way down my torso. I tweaked a nipple, they’re really sensitive, and whimpered to myself, wanting so much to be with somebody else and whimpering under him instead. I stroked rapidly, in my head watching this pretty boy going up and down on my cock, his lips really pink around my shaft. I twisted my hand, smearing precum over the head and down my length, wanting the warm and suction of a mouth. I hadn’t even been flirted with in a long time. I was so close as I pumped my shaft, I could feel my orgasm building, I wanted it so much. I looked down and felt my imagination twist.

Bear brown eyes looked up at me from inside my head and I came suddenly, violently and all over myself, the sheets and my torso. I panted in the dark, covered in my own thick sticky cum, sort of staring at myself in horror. I had not just imagined that… dear god… those hadn’t been the eyes of some guy, they hadn’t been human at all. Why had that bear showed up in my head right then? Feeling shamed and disorientated I got up and stumbled from my cabin to my bathroom. I needed a shower.

Hot and quick I towelled off and decided to nip naked back to the cabin having thrown my dirty boxer’s in the hamper. I didn’t see anyone, but I felt sure that something was watching.

I decided not to think it too hard.

*

When I hadn’t been off site for nearly four days Harry basically kicked me down to the river. He’s all outdoorsy and into nature. And it was quiet on site. There was nothing much for me to do, it was still a bit early in the year for proper tourist season. When summer hit, I knew that I would be up to my neck in jobs to do. As it is, the sale from my parents old house has been split and put into an account. Harry can draw my allowance from this, but I can’t touch it until I’m twenty one. He got his half straight away. There’s enough money in there that I don’t have to worry too much. I pay no rent and no board. Whenever I do any work for the campsite Gail, his wife, gets me to write it into the big dairy in the main office. End of the week I get a brown envelope just like every other member of staff at Alpine Lodge.

I almost didn’t cross the river. But then I scoffed at myself for being scared on my imagination and a bear whose territory was so big he probably didn’t pass through here more than once a year. It was silly. I was halfway across the river when I noticed someone on the opposite bank. It was Todd Maxen, the big tree surgeon who lived in the woods. It had turned out after our first meeting, that my brother actually knew the guy, who was a year older than him at twenty eight. He sure didn’t look twenty eight: he looked like he would win a fight with a buffalo. He was building an inuksuk on the beach. People did, the tourists liked to make them and take photos, but Todd was building it like he cared. I watched him as I crossed the river. It was only a little one, perhaps half a foot tall, but he considered every stone like he was building a work of art. It felt rude to interrupt him.

As I reached the beach he finished his marker and looked up. His smile was as huge as the rest of him and it gave me the creeps. And why is that? My inner voice mocked. I shut it up before anything bad could happen. I was suddenly pleased that it was a little colder today and I was wearing knee length combats and a thin long sleeved sweater. He raised a hand to me.

“Hey Hoyt,” the way he said my name made me feel like a child, “Where’re ya off ta today?”

“Just walking,” I didn’t stutter, thank god, “New boots.”

“Nice,” He stood smoothly as he checked me up and down. I shivered as I felt his eyes linger on my crotch, “We’ll have fun.” He looked like maybe he was about to say something else, but he didn’t. I nodded tightly and picked a different path, a steeper one that wound through the forest.

And what did you want him to say? My inner voice was jerking me around, teasing and taunting, I thought you only liked pretty skinny scene boys?

And even though I didn’t like to, I began to jog, hoping to get away from my own skull.

It took me all of ten minutes to reach the point where I was sweating and out of breath. The path was quite steep, and it was strangely hot now I was away from the chill breeze that came off the river. After five minutes of walking and panting like a dog I flopped down at the side of the path in the shade. I lay back in the short new grass and sighed to the sky. Sometimes my inner voice sucked. I closed my eyes.

I opened them again to the sound of snuffling. I must have fallen asleep, if only for a little while, because there was no way the bear could have moved silently through the forest. I yelped and backed away. The bear, a black bear, grey fur, followed my movements, sniffing. His face had been between my legs. Fuck. I dared looked down to find my cock tenting the front of my combat shorts. Shit. I looked at the bear.

He was sitting down now, head slightly tilted like a puppy asking a question with its eyes. Cinnamon brown patches. It was the same bear? Very carefully, I drew my legs in until I was sitting cross legged. Somehow I didn’t think standing up was going to be such a hot idea right now.

“Okay… I’m in a forest sitting with a bear…” the bear shuffled forwards, then walked a paw out towards me. I backed away, “With a really friendly bear. Right… great. What the fuck do I do now?”

The bear snorted and shook its head.

“Oh you think I’m funny do you?” I snapped, then clamped a hand over my mouth. I’d just bitched at a bear. I was so dead. To my huge surprise the massive paw the bear he walked across to me touched at my new hiking boots. I stared. The claws were huge and sharp and I had no doubt that this bear could rip me from pubic bone to throat if he wanted to. But apparently he didn’t.

“New boots,” I said, thinking it stupid to talk to a bear, “I er… fell asleep.”

The bear turned its head the other way and looked at me, then stood on all fours. If you’ve ever been in the presence of a bear you will know how huge they are, and even on all fours this bear seemed to block out the sun. He walked forwards. I shrank back, pressing my spine into the grass as the huge paws landed either side of my skinny shoulders. I was quivering, and I could feel myself going nuts in the back of my head. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck! The grey-black bear was sniffing up my torso, his nose pressing against the fabric of my jumper. Oh god no! I was about to become bear food as I could feel my penis going rigid in my shorts. I was going to die of bear or embarrassment and I wasn’t sure which was going to happen first. I felt my face flush bright red as the bear reached it.

I stared up into those big golden brown eyes and I couldn’t hold it together anymore. Fear and shame wound me up too tight and I was sobbing, crying with tears streaming down my face as the bear stood over me, sniffing at my neck, his cold nose poking my ear lobe. Then he licked me. His tongue wasn’t rough and wet and slobbery like I thought it would be, but smooth and soft and surprisingly dry for a tongue. He lapped at my cheeks and I was so shocked that I stopped crying with a little hiccup. The bear stopped licking too, and his nose touched my nose as he just stood there over me, staring.

Then his big head turned round and I saw his little round ears flip backwards. I heard the noise, chatting and talking and the tinkling of bells which hikers attached to their walking sticks to scare off bears and warn them they were coming. For a moment I honestly thought I was going to die. The bear turned his huge head back to me and there was something in his eyes which on a human would have looked like disappointment. And then he was gone, lolloping off into the woods.

Three hikers came around the bend in the path, chatting and laughing and I wished I hadn’t looked so obviously distressed or so obviously turned on. God knows what they thoughts of me as I sprang up and began to run back towards the river. When I got to the beach on the bank I was almost hoping to see Todd, to pray that the whole thing had been a dream. He wasn’t there of course, but his little inuksuk was. I peered at it. The pointing arm was directed up the hill, pretty much exactly in the direction I had run from. That was weird.

*

“What’s eating you little brother?”

I jerked my head up as Harry came by, ruffling my hair, something I have always hated. He plopped down in the seat opposite me on the decking outside the main office and put his feet up on the low railing, crossing his boots at the ankle.

“How was your walk?”

“Crap.” I realised just after I’d spoken that I would have to expand on that answer. Harry jabbed me in the ribs when I didn’t follow up straight away, “Harry? There are no, like, tame bears around here are there?”

“Tame bears?” my brother looked at me as though I had heat stroke, “Why would you ask such a weird question? You meet a bear?”

For half a second I considered the truth. Like he would believe me.

“No.” I got up. Sulking wasn’t so much fun when someone was questioning why you were doing it, “Can I go into town?”

“Sure,” Harry handed me the keys to his red pick-up. “But go and grab the grocery list from Gail at the house before you go alright. Back by seven.”

“Yes boss.” I scowled, but took the keys. You don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. I wanted to say ‘you’re worse than mum’ but I didn’t. Harry would have not taken it in the glib way I would have meant it.

Gail was in the kitchen of her and Harry’s mega cabin when I arrived. Gail is exactly the kind of girl my brother would end up marrying. She loves the outdoors and nature and everything, but she’s practical and loves extreme sports too. Gail is blond and curvy and way too beautiful to spend all her days hanging out in safari shorts and Alpine Lodge polo shirts with her hair in a ponytail. When she and Harry go out for their weekly date night she turns everyone’s heads. And I’m gay saying that.

“Hey there Hoyt. What’s up?”

“I’m going into town. Harry said I should get groceries?”

Gail handed me a list and grinned.

“You need any cash?”

“Nah, I got it.”

“See you later kiddo.”

I waved goodbye on exiting the cabin and read through the list in my hand as I got into the pick-up. I hated not having my own vehicle, though there were plenty on the fleet insurance that I could use. I hated having to ask permission to go off site. I didn’t really, but it felt rude. After nearly three whole months, I was still having a hard time thinking of Alpine Lodge as home.

The town of Jasper was a fifteen minute drive away if you did the speed limit. I parked up in the on street parking on the main drag and shut the door of the pick-up with a bang to startle the pigeons. I hadn’t really come to town for anything as such, so I just wandered around for a little bit. Jasper is a popular tourist spot on the route from Calgary across to the coast so we have a lot of those interesting but odd little tourist shops. I didn’t need anything like that, so I stuck my hand sin my pockets and wandered along the strip and round the back. Spending all my time on the site, I don’t have many friends in town, but there was one of the part timers who also worked in a clothing store just off the main drag. I nipped into the shop and grinned across the counter at Jack.

Jack is like my perfect dream guy. He is taller than me, but only by a little bit, skinny with good shoulders and fantastic hair and a cute as hell smile. And he’s in a band too boot. He’s also a massive flirt, with everyone, and proper slut, but only with girls. This makes him fun to talk to but disappointingly off limits, not that I fancy being a bead in anyone’s string of conquests. But it would be nice to get kissed every now and then. Today he is wearing skinny jeans and an Engrish printed t-shirt which I can’t even read properly. His eyes sparkle, brilliant green, and I want to just dive into them.

“Hey there pretty boy,” it’s worse that he doesn’t mean anything by it, because the words are all warm and treacherous, like the sun in winter, “What’s up dude?”

“Not much.” I can’t help but check Jack out as he comes around the counter. He’s got a fantastic little butt. The top edge of his boxers is on show, again. “I thought I might splash out you know.”

“Cool man,” a little gaggle of girls has just come in behind me and Jack is quickly distracted. “Shout if you need me.”

I nod glumly and wander off into the store. I don’t really need any more clothes, I half live in Alpine Lodge polo’s and there’s only so many pairs of jeans and shorts a guy can need. It’s not like I go out anywhere, or have anyone to go out with. I do end up with a new t-shirt, black with big acid yellow moths printed over it randomly, before I head to AG foods for the groceries. I get Gail’s list out of my pocket as I push the cart into the store and began mentally checking things off. Milk, bread (the nice one), green vegetables x 3, toothpaste… I’m in the cosmetics and shower gel aisle, I abandoned the trolley at the end of the lane, staring between the list and the shelf to try and find the shampoo brand that my brother apparently has to have when I walked smack into someone.

I apologise and start backing off when a big hand closes around my skinny flaccid bicep.

“Hold up there Boy. You’re alright.”

I look up to see Todd Maxen staring down at me with toffee coloured eyes. Something possessive in the way he called me ‘Boy’ has caused my dick to stir in my shorts. I gape at him, staring. Todd is dressed as per, meaning work boots, tight blue jeans and a flannel shirt over a wife beater. His thick chest hair spills over the top of the wife beater which is stretched over what I just felt is a rock hard torso. He is hard and hairy all over apparently, because he doesn’t look like he’s shaved in a few days at least, messy stubble making him exude a scent which is all man. He is so not my type, which doesn’t mean that I’m not now blushing like a school girl. God, this is torture. His eyes flick up and down me and I can barely breath, I’m standing really close to him and I swear that I can feel the heat of him through my clothes.

“Here you go.” He whispers, chills running down my spine, and presses something long and hard into my palm. It’s shampoo bottle. Oh… “See you Hoyt.” As he steps away I know he is looking at me, and I force myself to keep my eyes on the list, not seeing anything at all. The fuck did you think was going to happen? My inner voice scoffed, You bet his cock matches the rest of his hard, huge and hairy self?

I shake myself down, do a little mental reboot, and dump the shampoo into the trolley. I don’t care what brand I use, so I grab something non-branded and boring. All through the rest of my time in the shop, I keep waiting to see Todd in the aisle, but I never do, he’s vanished. I’m served by a woman on the checkout who I know well enough to chat to banally about the weather, then head back to the pick-up. Apparently nowhere is safe from Todd the creep. Sexy as hell even though he repulses me, but definitely still a creep.

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that…” I mutter as I start the engine, only belatedly realising that I’m talking to myself again.

Well, I sigh, Better than talking to a bear.

*

The following afternoon I went for another walk, ostensibly to continue breaking in my new boots, though they were already moulding nicely to the shape of my feet. I didn’t see Todd, which was good. The previous evening I hadn’t been able to shake off the feeling of being watched when I was in the cabin alone after dinner with Harry and Gail, and I had even gone and drawn the curtains even though I normally never did until I actually went to bed. I hadn’t even jerked off. I mean, I’d started, but then images in my head had warped into… things that I wasn’t comfortable with, so I’d stopped even though I was really horny. And all that had led to was waking up to find that I’d soiled the sheets for the first time since I was like fourteen. Having wet dreams I couldn’t remember because I was too scared of my own imagination to jerk off? Oh yeah, I was the picture of balanced mental health.

I crossed the river and headed into the woods, not really caring where I walked and ended up going further than I thought I would. I was tired when I stopped, but ten yards ahead I saw another of the little stone inuksuk’s, pointing off into the woods. There was the suggestion of a path, it was hot, the sun was warm, and the path under the green trees looked inviting. So, ignoring all the advice that you should never leave a marked trail, I wandered into the woods.

I walked for maybe ten minutes through the under growth before the path vanished, then opened out into a little natural clearing, maybe only four metres across. Just big enough to hold bear. The bear wasn’t looking at me and I started to back away. There was the gunshot sound of a snapping twig and bear turned to look at me. It didn’t growl, and it took me a moment to recognise the brown patches and the wide friendly eyes of ‘my’ bear. That’s a stupid thing to call him, even in your own head, I thought madly, He’s gonna eat you one of these days.

‘My’ bear paced over to where I was standing and sat back on his haunches. He was a lot taller than me, because I’m only like five feet eight and a bit pathetic in the height department. He made a noise that sounded like a small ‘whuff’ and titled his head. Little dish ears turned towards me.

“Hi to you too,” I smiled at the bear, which was a bit thick, and half raised a hand before I had thought about not waving. To my surprise, the bear raised a paw at me, copying my gesture. I took the smallest of steps forwards, again, being thick. My actions deserved to get my killed but I found myself face to face with this bear with the lustrous looking fur, and he began to sniff me all over my head and shoulders. When he bent his big neck and sniffed lower down I took a step back.

“Don’t do that!”

The bear tilted his head and I had the overwhelming feeling that he was asking me a question.

“Rude.” I knew I was pouting, which was pathetic and silly, “You can’t keep sniffing me.”

The bear grunted, then took another step forwards, on all four feet now and before I could react had put his big head against my chest and knocked me flat on my back.

“Hey!” The bear licked my face again with his smooth dry tongue and the sensation short-cut straight to my cock. Whenever I’m hard I leak, and the bear obviously smelt that too because he put his big muzzle right on my crotch and inhaled deeply. I flushed bright red. “No, don’t…” I protested as if the bear could understand me and whimpered. The bear with the brown muzzle looked up at me. He looked, sad somehow.

After that he left my crotch alone and moved to stand alongside me, then he lay down. The bear was like a mountain next to my skinny frame, and he turned his thick head to look at me. I dared to lean up on one elbow.

“Why do I keep running into you huh?”

I swear that the bear shrugged when I spoke.

“And why am I not dead like ten times already?”

Another shrug.

In the sun the bear looked lovely, better than any glossy photo magazine, and I could see that his fur wasn’t all grey like I had originally thought. There was grey, and proper inky black, and little whirls of the same cinnamon fur that covered his muzzle. A black stripe an inch wide divided the two patches on his muzzle, it made him very distinctive. He looked so soft, so shiny, and I desperately wanted to reach out and touch his fur. His ears were turned towards me, he lay with his head on his paws, watching me look at him. I reached out a hand, moving at a glacial pace. There was a good chance I was going to lose that hand.

I bit my lip, and then the bear pushed his head into my palm. He vibrated against me, his fur was like silk, and thick like piled velvet. I rubbed my hand over the top of his head and through the thick fur of his neck. Here the soft under layer was peppered with thicker guard hairs that tickled the thin skin inside my wrist. I wanted to snuggle up in that fur and fall asleep forever. It took me a long time to realise that the bear was purring under my hand.

“You like that huh?” the little round ears swivelled to find my voice as I stroked the bear’s fur, cupping my fingers around the shells of his ears and then running my digits through the thicker fur lower down, “You’re so soft.”

Hoyt, you are talking to a bear. A bear. Why are you not running for the hills?

The bear sighed and raised a big paw. His front feet were so much bigger than my hand. I was suddenly scared again as he shifted his weight and brought the paw over me. This was it, death was coming. But instead of pain there was just the warm and heavy sensation of the bear’s huge paw on my skinny chest, resting there, touching me back.

I always pick the weirdest moments to be happy.

*

I feel asleep in the forest with the bear. When I woke up, he was gone and the sun had moved a handbreadth in the sky, it was late in the afternoon, practically evening, and people would be wondering where I was. I raised my hand to my face and sniffed. I smelt like him, the thick musky scent of his fur clinging to my hand. I was also rock bloody hard, still, and I could feel that my precum had basically soaked my boxers.

I was alone, there were no sounds but the soft rustling of the trees, the natural not silence of things growing. What the hell. I unzipped by combats and reached my other hand into my ruined underwear. I tugged quickly on my dick, I didn’t need a fantasy, my orgasm was already there waiting on the edge of sensation. I thumbed the slit twice, inhaling the scent of the bear on my other hand and came. My orgasm burst in three quick shots which I was cognisant enough to aim for the grass rather than myself. I groaned into the empty clearing. Panting I wiped my hand on the grass then pulled off my shorts and boxers before just slipping my shorts back on. Hopefully no one would notice my going commando.

I wasn’t so sure what to do with the ruined boxer shorts, so I folded them up, even though they felt squishy and unpleasant, and after several long minutes ended up sort-of burying them under a biggish rock. No one could see them, that was the main thing. I jogging down the hill back towards the river and stared when I got there. The sun was setting, a glowing line of hot red fire staining the river and turning half the sky purest gold. The water reflected the sky, the icy Athabasca somehow coloured like a warm summer’s day. Alpine Lodge looking amazing, all the green’s touched with gold and for that richness, I could finally see why people stayed here. I splashed over the river and then hurried across the opposite bank to my home and my remaining family.

“Where’ve you been?” Harry was pacing up and down outside my cabin, looking pissed but well dressed in clean un-faded jeans and a black button down shirt, “We nearly left without you.”

“What’s going on?” I panted. I was still so not used to running, especially when my knees were still weak from jerking off.

“Movie night. Last time you said you wanted to come with.”

For a moment I almost told him to go ahead without me, but I had the feeling that now he’d waited he would be completely pissed off if I said he shouldn’t have bothered.

“’Kay,” I replied quickly, “Gimmie two minutes to get changed and I’ll meet you by the truck.” Which was shit because I didn’t even have time for a shower. I wiped myself down with a damp washcloth and pulled on a pair of nicely fitted cowboy jeans and my new black t-shirt with the moths. I had a black denim jacket, it wasn’t too cold out, and it wasn’t until I jumped into the back seat of the pick-up that I realised I had forgotten to put on any underwear. Fun times.

You want to talk about what you did in the forest? My inner brain asked me as we started the drive into town.

No. I wasn’t sure why I was answering. I was talking to myself again.

Or what you were imagining? I looked down at my left hand, the one which had stroked the bear. I so should be dead, not sitting in the back of my brother’s pic-up thinking about that fact that I had jerked of in the woods while inhaling the scent of ‘my’ bear. I couldn’t keep calling him that.

You shouldn’t be calling him anything you basket case. It’s a bear not a puppy.

“Hey Gail?”

“Un-hmm?”

“Do you know what the First Nations people call bears?” it seemed like as good a place to start as any. After all, it’s not like I could call him Fido or Rover.

“Well the Haida word for bear is Táan. But the Blackfoot name is Mato. Every language has a different word. Why?”

“Oh just curious.” We got out of the truck in front of the little cinema. Mato… I turned the word over in my head. It sounded friendly and good. Mato.

“He’s obsessed with bears these days aren’t you little brother?” Harry ruffled my hair as he walked by. Jerk, just because he’s like six feet tall and older than me, “Oh hey Todd! You seeing the movie too?”

I groaned to see my brother and his wide exchange smiles and half hugs with the big man. Turned out that Todd was seeing the same film we were and Gail had to invite him to join us. So we got popcorn and sodas and I tried to avoid checking Todd out even as my hindbrain spat at me. I did not like Todd, but if the bulge in the front of his jeans was anything to go by… No! I was so not going there. Of course he ended up sitting next to me on the end of the aisle so that I was hemmed in between him and Gail’s spine. My sister in law sat with her legs over Harry’s lap, the two of them giggling like teenagers.

“So did you get everything you needed?” Todd’s voice in my ear was low and husky and I prayed that my tingling shiver wasn’t visible. I could feel his breath on my face and I hated that I wanted to lean into that sensation.

“Whu…?” I was so turned on and confused I could barely form a whole syllable.

“In the market. Did you find everything on your list?” Somehow Todd still managed to make the question sound…obscene. Or maybe that was my mind.

“Oh, yeah. Thanks.”

“You been up in the woods again Boy?” I stared at Todd. What right did he have to call me that, and why did his voice turn all my nerve ending inside out when he spoke. I grunted and folded my arms over my chest hoping to hide the fact that my nipples were trying to push holes in my new shirt. “Well if you ever need some company… or somewhere to rest maybe. You know where I am.”

“Thanks.” I said tightly, and turned pointedly to the screen. I did not want to finish having this conversation.

The film started, which was a good distraction at least, and I did my best focus on the plot. There was a guy and a girl in love, big surprise, and I suddenly found myself wishing that there were more mainstream gay movies. I flicked a glance at Harry and Gail. Being so much older than me, Harry had been getting into girls and dates before I had even approached puberty. In a way it had been useful, starting puberty knowing that you didn’t fancy your brother’s girlfriends. Just all his really hot jock mates from the football team. Harry had known, after all, he’d been the one to blab to mum and dad when he’d worked out that his little brother was gay. It was a shitty thing to do, but he’s made up for it since then. He and Gail are OK with me being gay, and Gail will grin and nod at me if she sees some cute guy who she thinks I might like. But we don’t talk about it.

I was finally starting to get fully distracted by the movie when something warm and rough brushed the back of my neck. I jolted like someone had hit me with a cattle prod. Todd’s arm was stretched out over the back of the chairs, those were his fingers on the naps of my neck. I tried to wriggle away, but there was nowhere to wriggle too and the actions simply allowed more of his hand to touch my skin as the collar of my shirt tugged down. I shivered, goose bumps raising on my skin. His fingers were really warm, and they just rested there until I was shaking with mixed up nerves and desire. I muttered something lame about needing the bathroom but Todd didn’t move, gesturing for me just to clamber over. I’m sure if you have long legs, that’s a fine option, but I am a skinny little short guy.

It was not my fault that I ended up sitting on his lap. His hands on my waist brought me down as I climbed over him. It was a three second touch but I learnt three things. One, Todd was massively hung; two, he was hard as a fucking rock; and thirdly, he was a first class fucking creep. I jumped right off him and bolted to the bathrooms. I figured that there was only twenty minutes or so of film to go, so I spent the rest of it in the bathroom, playing with my phone and fiddling with my shoe laces.

“Hoyt?” The film must have ended because Harry is standing in the bathroom. I open the door of the stall I’ve been hiding in, “The fuck are you doing Hoyt. We’re worried about you.”

“I think I’m sick,” I don’t lie well, so I keep my actual number of words to a minimum, “I feel awful.”

“Hoyt…” My brother has this way of saying my name that makes me feel about twelve years old again, “We have dinner reservations.”

“Go without me,” The last thing I want is for Harry to resent me for ruining his night with his wife, “I’ll just go home and crash.”

“And how are you planning to get there little brother?” Harry shakes his head and stamps his foot, he is always really easy to read. “Todd can take you.”

“No!” But my protests fall on deaf ears. I follow Harry out of the bathrooms to see him chatting to Todd and Gail.

“Hey bud, do mind running my kid brother home?” I hate it when he calls me that. I am not a kid, “He’s sick or something. I know it’s the other side of the river from you. Is it too much of a pain?”

“Nah, it’s cool,” Todd fixes me with a piercing gaze and I swear I never realised quite how big and deep his eyes are, they make me shiver, “I don’t mind Hoyt. You two go have fun.”

“Thanks big guy, I owe you.” Harry comes and grabs my arm, pulling me over to Todd. He hisses in my ear, “Don’t say anything too fucking stupid OK?”

I stare evilly after him and Gail as they leave the cinema. If looks could kill. I do not want to look at Todd standing there in his tight jeans and big work boots. I scuff my hi-tops on the lino.

“Look you don’t have to drive me. I can’t get home.”

His big hand lands on the back of my neck and I flinch away from him.

“I promised your brother I’d get you home safe. Come on, my truck is this way.”

Todd Maxen’s truck is like him, fucking enormous and rough around the edges. He works for the forestry commission and does a bit of tree surgery on the side, so his pick-up is hunter green and the flat bed is full of bits of wood and broken twig. I can’t help but sneer. My truck would be so much cleaner than this, you’d wanna be able to put a mattress in the back and make out under the stars. I have to jolt myself away from the fantasy.

Todd holds the door open for me and it’s a real climb up for a little guy like me. I do it quickly though, I don’t want to give this creep another excuse to touch me. Todd shuts the door and walks around to his side and gets in, rubbing his beard. For the first time I noticed that he’s trimmed up his stubble, giving a neat square edge to his thick facial hair. Huh, I couldn’t grow stubble if I never shaved for the rest of my life. The truck starts up with a roar and I’m really glad to be at the other end of the big bench seat. You could fit another person in the space between us. Once we get out on the main road Todd’s arm again comes to rest along the back of the seat. His fingers are an inch from my neck. I shiver involuntarily to have him so close.

“So ya like going up in the woods Boy?” His voice is low and husky and sends a wave of prickly uncomfortable pleasure down my spine.

“Don’t fucking call me that.” I glance across at him quickly, and feel hot angry tears building behind my eyes. I will not cry in front of him.

“Sorry. Hoyt.” He managed to make my name sound like sex on a stick, like ‘fuck me.’ “You enjoying it here in Jasper?”

“Sure,” I shrug, this is a much safer topic, “There’s not a lot to do in the evenings though. I can’t spend all my time with Harry and Gail.”

Todd stretches as he shifts gear.

“You can always spend time with me,” OK, less safe topic of conversation, “The forest is lovely at night.”

I don’t say anything back. As we pull into Alpine Lodge his hand brushes the nape of my neck, the little nearly invisible hairs there which make my skin crawl. I really hope that he can’t see my cock bulging against my jeans, the denim in rough on my sensitive skin. I flinch away again and as he brings the car to a halt I’m staring at him. He’s staring at me. I can’t believe how hot my skin suddenly feels, like every nerve I own is on fire. Todd licks his lips, pink tongue contrasting against his thick jet black moustache and beard. I shiver.

“Hoyt.” He says my name like it means sex and I cry out in pain as I flinch, cracking my funny-bone against the truck door. “Are you OK?”

“F-fine,” I mutter. I pop open the door and half fall out of the truck, then bolt for the safety of the main site and my little cabin. I am sweating and shaking by the time I lock the cabin door behind me and collapse against it. Now I really do feel sick. To make up to lying to my brother, I spend the rest of the evening feeling like I’m going to throw up, even though I don’t actually do it.

*

It’s four in the morning. I have no idea why I’m awake. I woke up with a jolt, not sure what woke me, but lying in bed I can’t hear anything outside, all is dark and silent. I got up and out of bed and went over to the window. There was nothing outside the window. I flopped back onto my bed and wondered why I felt so awake. The evening had been a total bust: and a waste of a perfectly good new shirt. I hadn’t left the cabin since I’d run back in. I lay back on the bed and stretched out. I was nowhere near as long as the bed was.

Todd had freaked me out ever since I had met him and what had happened in the truck made me really pissed off. He called my ‘Boy’ as though I was his, he touched me when i hadn’t invited him too and he had no right too. He was such a creep. So why was I so turned on by him? He wasn’t my type, he wasn’t cute and hot and sexy. He was massive and hairy and… old, nine years older than me. But his voice made me shake and shiver in ways I didn’t like. And yet here I was lying on my bed, aching and hard and scared to touch myself. My imagination wasn’t playing ball.

I curled my hand around my five stiff inches and half prayed that the fantasy I picked was going to stay the way I wanted it. I got Jack into my head, he was safe and beautiful and totally off limits. I pictured being on my knees, sucking his cock, his tight cut jeans gripping his thighs as I worked on his hard on. I stroked myself faster, keeping pace with the imaginary blow job. There was a rumbling in the back of my skull, a voice low like thunder and Todd’s wide self-satisfied grin filled my head. But you can’t flinch away from yourself, and I was way too far gone, one hand pumping my cock, the another rolling my balls in my fingers, feeling the contraction of skin and muscle as the promise of ecstasy reared its head. I gritted my teeth to keep from groaning as I stroked myself. A boy jerks off in the woods. The mental image threw me as my imagination when into overdrive. And a big black bear watches him from the trees, scenting the air in delight. Big honey brown eyes bore into my soul and I came with a strangled gasp into my cupped hand.

Great. I rolled my eyes as I searched for a tissue. Not only does Jake apparently not do it for you anymore, but you came while picturing a fucking bear. You’re a freak.

*

I should’ve stopped going into the woods. I should have thrown myself into the preparations for summer and the tourist season. Every morning I got up and dressed and worked for the Lodge, cleaning cabins, making runs into town, helping to fix guttering, roofing and the safer bits of plumbing. It’s learnt a lot on the job since I’d been here, though fixing and panting fences was still me go-to job. I didn’t like being trusted with the important stuff in case I screwed up. I ate lunch with the other staff; my brother, his wife, her two older brothers and father who owned Alpine Lodge and the small collection of part timer’s from town. I kept away from Jack.

But every afternoon I went across the river for a walk, or a jog. I didn’t see Todd often, and when I did I ignored him, took the long path around the beach and refused to respond to whatever he’d said. Every time he said my name it was like molten lava on my skin, running to my crotch. It made me angry. But I kept on going to the woods to see Mato.

The day after ‘the incident’ with Todd I had re traced my steps to the little clearing. It wasn’t hard to find, I hadn’t noticed it before but there were a pair of tiny inuksuk at the side of path. They were the smallest ones I’d ever seen, barely five inches tall and made from cracked and split river stones. The clearing was empty, which was disappointing and I’d collapsed down with my back to a tree, having run the whole way there. Well we do have shit luck, my inner voice said, You just run into the forest and expect to see a bear. Crap.

The was a crunching sound behind me, the snap of a twig and a lumbering sort of snort. Warm breath tickled the back of my neck. I turned really slowly, not blinking, to see the big black bear’s cinnamon tinted muzzle level with my own face. His tongue lolled from the side of his mouth.

“Hey buddy.” I said quietly. The bear walked around to face me and sat back on his haunches.

“Hrump?” It so sounded like a question. The bear twitched his ears forwards and I smiled at him, getting up.

“I was hoping you’d be here Mato,” You’re a crazy motherfucker Hoyt, you’re having a conversation with a fucking bear. The bear made another grumbling noise and put his head on one side, “You like it? Mato. I figured if we were going to be meeting like this I couldn’t just keep calling you ‘bear’ it’s a bit lame. My name is Hoyt.”

“Hrumt,” the bear grunted, and it almost sort of sounded like my name. Then he reached a big fore paw forwards and made what on a person would be a come-hither gesture.

I took a step closer to Mato, wondering if I’d gone completely insane yet. Yes, yes you fucking have dude. Even sitting down he was taller than me, standing on his hind legs he would be plenty big enough to scare the shit out of me. And what was weird was that I didn’t feel scared. It felt somehow perfectly natural to be standing in the woods talking to a bear. I reached out and touched his big paw, curling my fingers around the short silk smooth fur and then hot rough paw pads.

“Hrmmm,” Mato was staring at me and I felt his paw tug, bringing my hand along with it to touch the fur of his huge chest. It was the softest thing I’d ever felt. I stepped softly forwards into his shadow. If there was a moment to kill me, this was it. I was almost surrounded by him, his wide head hovering over me, nose nearly touching my messy blond hair. I started to scratch at the thick fur over his collar bones, where his thick ruff met his chest. He made a happy noise.

“You like that huh?” I smiled as I spoke, moving closer to the bear until I was practically leaning against him, “Feels good Mato?”

I swear the black bear nodded. His other paw came up around my shoulders. Again, it should have been swift and painful death, but instead the paw that rested on my shoulder, nearly as long as my forearm, simply tucked me closer to the bear until I was standing with my whole right side pressed against him, my face turned into his fur, petting away as though he was a family puppy. He breathed hot and damp on the back of my neck and his chest rumbled. I could feel myself getting hard in my shorts. Mato must have noticed too, or he could smell it, I wasn’t sure which counted first considering that my cock was jabbing into his belly, and my big black bear wrapped another arm around me and then fell backwards.

“Whoa!” I half scrambled and tried to get up, but Mato held me firm against his chest, both arms wrapped around me somehow without using his long deadly claws. His head came down over mine he snuffled into my ear, “Hey buddy.” I realised that I was more comfortable than I had even been in my life, and I was curled up on a bear, “You’re all soft.” I dug all my fingers into his thick fur, “This is nice.” I sighed happily. I’d been up in the middle of the night and I’d worked hard all morning, I was tired, Mato was soft and comfy and warm and he vibrated under me. I fell asleep despite myself.

I blinked awake a little while later to find the big black bear humming, for want of a better description, and rocking gently, using his hind legs for leverage. I groaned and tried to sit up, ending up slipping to the ground. I cracked my knee and winced, but made light of it as I stood up again.

“Sorry about that Mato. I drifted off. Nah, I’m fine.” I wiped grass of my knees and lifted my hands to my face. I smelt like the bear, musky and soft and sweet. The skin of my hands was like, super moisturised, where I’d fallen asleep with them in his fur. Mato rolled over and got up onto all fours. He shook himself like a dog, a rotation that started at his nose and ended at his cute little tail. I giggled and the bear frowned at me. He flicked an ear in the direction of the woodland, but I pointed back towards the path.

“I have to go too,” I said. “Can I come see you tomorrow?”

OK, that was definitely a nod, firm and definite. This was no ordinary bear. As though that wasn’t obvious by now, you twerp. Mato barked something that sounded a bit like my name, and turned, his run a huge rocking motion that carried him away from me in no time. I headed back to the Lodge

And now every day it was the same thing. I would do duties in the morning, have lunch and run to the woods to spend time with Mato. Mostly we just lay in the clearing, sometimes we ran about and played in the trees. He always caught me and was always really careful with his claws. Never once did he cut me or snag me by mistake. A couple of times he would get me to walk with him along secret paths. We saw elk and a wolf den, little cubs running around their mother while we watched from a distance. He showed me things I never thought I would get to see.

I talked to him about everything: about my parents, how they had died, what they had been like. I told him about our family holidays, the few I remembered where we’d all gone together, the rainy stay in England and France, the sun kissed beaches in Southern California where I’d gotten my first kiss. I told him about Alpine Lodge and my little cabin, about living with Harry and Gail, how there were no guys in town that I fancied. Gay guys around this part of the world tended to be big hairy bears, which was an odd concept to explain to an actual bear. I told him everything about kissing and making out with boys. Everything except the night I regretted just before graduation.

And I was hard all the time. The whole time I was with Mato my cock twitched and jerked and leaked so much that I ruined every pair of boxer’s I owned. The softness of his fur, the big muscles underneath, the timbre of his ‘voice’ and the glow in his honey gold eyes made me ache. Every night I would jerk off, trying to keep my mind focused on one image, preferably a human one, and every night I came I failed, big brown eyes pressing into my soul. Mato liked to sniff me, and I knew that he could tell when I was hard. He seemed to like to press his muzzle up against my crotch especially then, his eyes always bright afterwards. It made me really uncomfortable, but not enough for my erections to subside, and in truth, I didn’t want to stop him. That hard warmth between my thighs was so good. It went on for weeks.

The more time I spent with Mato, the happier I became. The only blight on my existence was
Todd. As spring wore on towards summer he started coming around the site more, Harry and Gail invited him for barbeques with us too, and every time he was at Alpine Lodge he always managed to find a moment with me alone. Those moments were alternately better and worse. Sometimes he would just sit and stare at me, other times he would say my name and make it sound like sex. I couple of times he would come up behind me, a hand on the back of my neck and ask me a question which always ended with ‘Boy.’ I hated every single moment I spent with him, mostly because it turned my senses inside out and made me hate myself.

I had never hated myself before, never been ashamed of who I was. Sure I’m not great looking, I don’t have a toned little body and great hair, I’m all soft and way too lazy to go to the gym to do anything about it. I’m short, and there’s nothing I can do about that. While some of those things were annoying, I’d never actively hated myself before. Now, Todd popped up in my imagination all the time, especially when I was trying not to think about Mato. I was disgusted with myself. The guy was a big hairy creep, an obvious domineering predator, so why was I so attracted to him? If I wasn’t sure that I was broken in the head before, I really was by the time June rolled around. I was bust twisting myself up in knots so bad I was making myself sick.

*

“Hey little brother!”

I sneered at Harry as he called me, but walked over where he was standing anyways. He was with a couple of guests, a middle aged couple who’d checked in the day before. He was chatting to them over a local hiking map.

“Yeah?” I smiled for the customers and snarled at my brother with my back turned, “What’s up?”

“Mr and Mrs Dupont say that their cabin is a bit chilly at night. Could you go over there with some extra blankets and take a look at the thermostat for me?”

“Sure.”

“Cabin twelve bro.”

I smiled at the couple and set off the main office and stores for the blankets and the spare keys to cabin twelve. It took me five minutes to cross the site to the cabin, one of the big luxury ones with the balcony in the master bedroom, carrying the blankets. The only way this couple were cold was if they’d turned the air con right up by accident… or they were lizards. Sure Hoyt, your imagination is plenty normal. I growled and unlocked the front door of the cabin, crossing quickly to where the air conditioner unit was indeed on full blast. Idiots. Then I turned, intending to put the blankets on the coffee table and walk out.

There was boy lying on the sofa reading a comic. He wore black shorts and a tight black t-shirt and he had fucking amazing hair. He was skinny and cute and fairly pretty. I gulped as he looked up, totally catching me checking him out. He pulled an eye bud from his ear and stared at me quizzically, the tinny indie music blasting into the otherwise silent room.

“S-sorry,” Fucking stammer, “I just came to f-fix the heating. I work here.” I added lamely, like anyone would be breaking in during the middle of the day. The beautiful boy just stared at me.

“Cool.” He was English, and he wore a broad grin on his sharp features, “God I was hoping that there would be someone my age around here to hang out with. It’s so fucking dull.” He got up and walked forwards. He was a little bit taller than me, a little bit broader. So far so freaking hot. He offered his hand “I’m Alex.”

“Hoyt.”

“So,” I did not imagine him checking me up and down, “What is there to do around here anyways?”

I convinced him to come for a gentle walk in the woods with me pretty easily. He grabbed a pair of all-stars, just like my pair which had come to bits, and followed my off the site. Alex did a lot of talking, or rather, complaining, about his parents stupid Canadian road trip holiday and how he was missing all his friends from college back home. I didn’t mind so much, even though he didn’t listen when I tried to tell him about the inuksuk or the Athabasca River. He wasn’t so much here for the scenery. He stumbled as we crossed the pebbly beach on the other side of the river and grabbed my hand. I flushed, but he held on after he regained his balance and I didn’t mind at all.

So he was here for a week, this wasn’t exactly the start of a relationship, but it was nice to feel wanted, even if only for a little while. No guy had smiled at me like this in four months. Maybe there would just be some kissing, touching, a bit of hot and heavy in the woods. It would help take the edge off, push me back towards the direction of normal again. So there we were, walking hand in hand through the woods, sticking to the low path, the easiest walk, chatting away when we rounded a corner and my nose picked up a familiar scent. Alex froze on the spot.

“Fucking Christ!” He hissed, “Hoyt what the fuck do we do?”

I smiled when I saw Mato on the side of the path.

“It’s OK, just keep walking.”

“What?” Alex sounded like he was about to piss himself and his grip on my hand was white knuckled.

“It’s fine, I know him. He’s fine.” I waved gently, “Hey Mato.”

The big grey-black bear stared at me and growled. My blood chilled.

“Mato, buddy, it’s me.”

“The fuck is wrong with you dude!” Alex was tugging at my hand, “Fucking run!”

“Mato?” I was shaking as Mato stepped closer, walking on his hind legs. He was growling, but his eyes were fixed on Alex, not me, and our joined hands. For the first time in weeks I felt real fear in the presence of my bear. “Mato?”

Mato roared, right in Alex’s face. The British pretty boy screamed and ran, speeding down the path much faster than I thought he could do. I figured I should run away as well, but when I turned back, the bear in front of me was the usual happy smiling Mato I always saw when I came to the woods. He wrapped a big arm around me and cuddled me too his chest. I pushed my fists into his chest and pulled away.

“What the fuck? Why did you do that?” I gasped and hiccupped, realising that I was sobbing. My knees shook I was so fucking scared and angry, “What did you have to go and scare him away for?”

Mato grabbed me and pulled me back to his chest, snuffling my hair. He made a possessive noise that sounded like ‘mine.’

“No!” I shocked myself with the force of my denial. I pulled away from the bear, out of his immediate reach, I was screaming now between tears and sobs. “No! I can’t be yours! I can’t be in love with you. You’re a fucking bear! And you scared off the only guy who has smiled at me since I’ve been here. And what the hell am I doing talking to bear. You’re an animal!”

The black bear dropped to all four and growled. Fear coiled around my hot angry heart like a cold snake as the bear advanced. He was rumbling low and for the first time I noticed how long his teeth were in his muzzle. Bears were fast. I turned and ran, petrified of what was behind me.

I didn’t stick to the path, veered off, ran along animal tracks through the trees, not thinking, crying and sobbing as I stumbled, raising my arms to avoid the branches that whipped at my face and eyes. I didn’t think about the direction, just ran ‘away,’ whichever direction that was. I was stumbling and shaking and crying uncontrollably, not a pretty sight with tears and snot everywhere. And then I ran smack into someone.

My tear filled eyes finally found focus on Todd’s broad face, looking down at me, his brow creased in worry.

“Hoyt?” His voice was full of concern.

“I-I-I-,” I could barely form a single word, “B-b-bear.”

“Are you OK?” his hands were big and warm on my chest, checking for injuries. I could feel his heartbeat, slow and steady like a drum. I wanted to ask him why he wasn’t wearing a shirt, but I didn’t get a chance before all my senses came crashing down around me and I blacked out.

*

I woke up in bed, and not my bed. I lay staring at the ceiling of the cabin, trying to remember what had happened. With Alex in the woods. God he was pretty, cute and clean, just my type. Then what? Mato, my big black bear. And he growled at us, at Alex. He didn’t like him being there with me. Then I’d shouted at him, gotten scared and ran. So how had I ended up here? And where was here?

I sat up and looked around the cabin. The walls were smooth and clean a couple of rustic woodland items scattered about, elk antlers, a pelt, big washed river rocks, a native salmon hunting spear. Everything was clean and tidy. The bed was newly made, covered in a thick black and red woollen blanket with a first nations design. I got up, found that my legs were shaky, and that someone had removed my boots and socks but not my shorts or shirt. The main room was big and airy with a high ceiling and large windows. I recognised the view across the river and remembered running smack into Todd. Where was the big man anyway? There was a big couch and a couple of arm chairs and a nice open plan kitchen with all of the mod-cons.

“Hello?” I felt kind of stupid standing there in just shorts and a t-shirt calling for Todd. A man who I didn’t even like. But it wasn’t like I could walk home barefoot.

“Hey, you’re up.” Todd came in the back door, smiling broadly. He didn’t call me ‘Boy,’ which was a big improvement, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, thanks. Er…” I blushed when I looked up at him, “How long was I out?”

“About three hours. It’s nearly six o’clock.”

“Oh shit!” I began to panic and grabbed the breakfast bar to stop from falling, “Harry’s going to be really pissed off, or worried. Of crap…”

“It’s alright Hoyt,” Todd touched my shoulder gently, like I might explode if he grabbed too hard, “I called him after you fainted to tell him you’d stopped by for a chat. It’s all cool.”

“Oh…” My sigh of relief turned into a pant of exhaustion. I felt like crap. Todd lifted me onto a bar stool, “Thanks.”

“You wanna drink?” He got me a soda from the fridge and poured it into a glass, “So, what happened in the woods? You looked pretty torn up when you showed up here.”

Lying seemed like so much effort right now.

“I went for a walk with Alex.”

“Alex?” Todd practically growled. Was that jealousy? Surely not.

“Boy from the site. Tourist. Wanted to see what there was to do around here.” Todd raised a sceptical eyebrow, but nodded. “And we saw Mato. He growled at us.”

“Who is Mato?”

“My bear.” I clamped a hand over my mouth in shock. I so should not have said that.

“Your bear…” Todd didn’t sound mocking, or amused, or even shocked. He sounded like he’s fucking pleased about it. You wanna dwell on that for a while?

“Y-yeah. I see him around in the woods sometimes,” All the time, “He’s friendly.” Too friendly.

“But he growled at you?” Todd clarified.

“Well, he growled at Alex,” He wanted that pretty scene boy to leave so he could have you for himself, “And Alex ran off. He only growled at me after I shouted at him.” I bit my lip, I so did not want to cry in front of Todd, “He’s never growled at me before. I guess I got scared and ran.”

Todd shrugged, as though he couldn’t give another explanation.

“I don’t wanna go back into the woods.” Jesus Hoyt, you have to sound like such a baby.

“Well why don’t I walk you home today?” Todd got up and smiled, “And maybe next time you go to the woods you’ll see your bear and everything will be alright.” Todd handed me by hiking boots and my socks were all balled up in them, “You’ll see.”

Walking with Todd Maxen was easy. He didn’t try to touch me, just stuck his hands in the pockets of his Dockers and matched my pace, even though he was so much taller, his stride bigger than mine. He didn’t call me ‘Boy’ and didn’t make my name sound like sex. It was… nice. We chatted about everything and nothing as we walked to the river. Todd was an only child and his mother had died six years ago. He’d moved here from the Yukon and built the cabin he lived in. I was quietly impressed. He didn’t mention his father, I didn’t ask. He’d got on great with Harry from the moment he’d gotten here and had helped to build some of the newer cabins at Alpine Lodge. I always thought of Todd as older, but he wasn’t even thirty, still young by most people’s standards. I measured myself against him, he was tall and tan from spending time outside and his arms were covered in thick dark hair. He smiled all the time. He walked with me as far as the bridge.

“Thanks for walking with me Todd.” I think it was the first time I’d called him by his name.

“You’re welcome,” I turned to go, “Hoyt?” There is was, that rough husky voice that made my skin crawl. Only now it crawled in a good way.

“Yeah?” I was standing on the main platform of the bridge, two steps up from Todd. We were level as I turned to look at him.

“Come stop by whenever you like yeah?” He leant in towards me and I found myself flushed and breathing hard. I really wanted to kiss him.

“O-K.” But the moment passed and I managed to look away. I could feel Todd watching me all the way across the bridge, and I didn’t mind.

*

“Get your head out of the sand buddy,” Harry kicked my shin as he sat down, dislodging my feet from the fence so he could put his own up instead, “I see you’re back to moping around.”

“I am not moping.” I snapped back, crossing my arms over my chest, “Leave me alone.”

“Like hell you’re not. You’ve not left the site in a week. You’ve not asked to go to town or been out. You’re sitting there with your head buried in the ground.” My big brother’s frown softened, “Something wrong Hoyt?”

“Nothing.” I grumbled.

“So go walking in the woods, you love that. Or go to town, hang out with your friends.”

“What friends Harry?” I jumped up from my chair, scowling, “In case you hadn’t noticed, I have no friends. I live in the middle of goddamn nowhere a million miles from all my old friends or the nearest actual club or coffee shop with a single guy I might like. I’m just stuck here with you for the next three years. Fucking great!” I finished shouting, but before I could feel guilty for yelling at my brother when he was trying to be nice, I hopped the fence and stormed off. It’s easy to go for a walk when you’re pissed off and I was back in the forest before I knew it.

I kicked at a stone on the path and watched it rattle away from me. I felt stupid and childish for shouting at Harry, just like when we were kids. Or rather, when I was a kid and he was a teenager. We’d not had a whole lot of big sibling fights, the age gap was too big between us, but it felt shitty to argue with him. Especially because he was right. Even if everything I’d said was true, no friends, no romantic prospects, that wasn’t going to change if all I did was sit around on the site not talking to anyone. I caught up with my stone and kicked it again. It bounced into the under growth.

“Huurnt.”

The grunt startled me, and I looked into the woods to see a bear, my bear, sitting staring at me. I could tell it was him easily now, everything about him was ingrained in my head.

“Hey Mato.” I raised a hand in a very half-hearted wave and wandered over to him without thinking weather or not it was a good idea.

Mato stood on all fours looking at me, then swivelled his little dish ears backwards and dropped his gaze, his muzzle pointing at the ground. He snuffled and sunk down onto his belly, his face buried between his paws. He looked so said that I just walked straight into the trees and crouched down by my friend. I put a hand out and touched his paw.

“Mrruuunmm?” Mato looked up at me, he was crying, tears making wet streaks in his lovely fur.

“Hey, don’t do that,” I said down and instantly began rubbing his head between his little ears, “I’m sorry too. I missed you.” I put my arm over his huge shoulders and hugged him, “I shouldn’t have shouted at you Mato.”

“Hrumm,” Mato seemed to consider what I’d said, then rolled over so that I was slumped against his chest. I snuggled up to him automatically and he brought his big arms around me, lifting me on his belly. He sniffed my head and neck, then flicked his tongue at my throat. I moaned. I clamped my hand over my mouth, I knew I was turning beet red, but had been the longest time since anyone had missed me, wanted me, and set all of my nerve ending alight. So what if the person doing it was a bear?

You are a complete nut job Hoyt, my inner brain said, You are actually falling in love with a bear. You’re officially a freak now.

Mato hugged me tighter and I dug my fingers into his thick soft fur. I could feel my cock stiffening against his belly and I know he felt it because I swear he raised an eyebrow at me as if to say ‘what have we here then?’ The big bear rolled me over and off him and I nearly burst into tears to think that he was leaving.

But no, he placed me gently onto the ground I make back and proceeded to snuffle and sniff me all over. I kept a hand in his fur, stroking the softness at the back of his head as he sniffed and snorted, blowing air onto me with tickled. When he reached the hem of my shirt he stuck his cold nose to my skin, and then pushed my shirt up my stomach so that he could run his muzzle on my skin. I shivered, my soft flesh raising goose bumps, but I was so turned on I could barely think. Mato licked me from waistband to sternum and I yelped as his tongue dipped into the sensitive flesh of my navel. The bear looked at me with his head on one side, like he was asking a question. I rubbed his furry muzzle and under his jaw, and that too brought a happy sound. He grinned at me.

Mato pressed his nose to the bulge in my shorts and inhaled deeply. His muzzle was warm and heavy, pressing into my swollen flesh, making me gasp and writhe on the ground.

“Mato!” I could barely breathe, every particle of sensation pointed towards my crotch as my bear sniffed and muzzle his nose into my cock. I was dizzy, my vision blurred and then Mato dipped his head between my legs and pressed himself against my taint, his nose nudging into my crack. I looked down at him, big honey brown eyes gazing up at me with an emotion I couldn’t place, and in a rush of sensation that I couldn’t fathom, I came. My hips jerked and my spine arched up and I could feel my cock spurting into my boxer’s, the thick hot wetness against my skin, surrounding my dick as it twitched and calmed.

“Oh god…” I panted, my chest heaving with the effort of getting oxygen into my body, “Holy shit…”

Mato made a happy purring noise and laid his head on my stomach, the long weight of his neck over my crotch, his shoulder wedged between my legs. He stared at each for a long time. I kept my hand moving in his fur.

“Thank you.”

Mato blinked once, slowly.

“You enjoyed that too huh?”

A quick nod.

“Awesome.”

Mato left while I dozed. I was vaguely aware of him getting up and leaving, but not before he licked my belly again and touched my jaw with his nose. I mumbled something and rolled over, sleeping on until the cold and clammy sensation in my boxer’s woke me up. I’d come in my underwear from the touch of a bear. I really was a freak. I got up shakily, and brushed the grass off me before heading back to the path. It wasn’t late, and I didn’t feel much like going home. I wanted a shower and a new pair of boxers, but that was less likely to happen. I started to walk, not really sure where I was going, and ended up on the path which led to Todd Maxen’s cabin.

I wasn’t there yet, I could have simply turned around and walked home, my life was complicated anyway, what with the being attracted to a bear issue, I didn’t need to make it any worse. I stuck my hands in my pockets and re adjusted my soft cock in my quickly crusting boxers, trying to be more comfortable. I rounded the outcrop of rocks and the big tree and come into view of Todd’s cabin. I didn’t see him, but there was the sound of chopping coming from the back of the cabin. I walked around the side of the cabin to see Todd, shirtless, raising a big axe above his head, bringing it down to the chopping block. I pile of stacked logs stood next to him.

You shouldn’t disturb a man with a big axe. I walked around the edge of the clearing behind the cabin, keeping one eye on Todd and looking around the yard with the other. The back of the cabin opened out onto a big wooden deck. There were a couple of easy chairs and a low table, a massive outdoor grill to the side of the deck and what looked to be a hot tub with a wooden cover, set into the decking so that the edges were about waist height. I sat down on the edge of the hot tub and watched Todd chopping logs. Todd had massive shoulders and as he hefted the axe his biceps bulged. He was wearing a pair of jeans and cowboy boots that looked like they’d just sort of thrown on, the hem all rucked up around the leather. His thick black hair was ruffled, as though all he’d done was run his fingers through it. The hair that I’d always seen poking out the top of his shirt covered the whole of his torso and arms in a thick black matt. The hair wasn’t curly, but lay flat almost like fur. I followed the lines of his torso, big pecs and rock hard abs covered in that thick hair, the diagonal lines of his hips vanishing into the low slung jeans. His thighs were massive in the tight blue denim. After he’d split all the logs in the pile next to him into four he put down the axe and smiled at me.

“Hey there Hoyt.”

“Hi Todd.” I got up, nervous suddenly now that he was looking at me, “I was just...”

“You want a drink?” Todd rolled his shoulders and rubbed the back of his head, head on one side, his grin kind of cute and lopsided. Cute? You just described Todd Maxen as cute? What the hell is wrong with you Hoyt?

“S-sure,” I tried to smile back, but I couldn’t quite meet his eyes. Todd motioned for me to follow him into the house and I toed off his boots at the door and un-clipped the top stud of his jeans. I followed nervously as he went to kitchen and pulled two beers from the fridge. He popped the caps easily and handed me the sweating bottle.

“You been for a walk?”

“Yeah,” I scuffed my boots on the floor, feeling generally uncomfortable, “I had a fight with Harry.”

“Well older brothers are generally rubbish. It’ll be OK.” Todd drank about half his beer in one long swallow. I sipped at mine carefully. I’d not been drunk since that night I didn’t like to think about, and I was a proper lightweight, “You fancy a dip in the hot tub Hoyt?” Todd flexed his shoulders and I heard his neck crack, “I need a good soak.” Todd brushed past me back out to the yard and I shivered where his bare arm touched my chest.

“I-I-I don’t have a swim suit.”

Todd shrugged, which caused all his muscles to ripple in a ridiculously arousing way.

“Big deal.” He shucked his jeans off over his hips and grinned at me. I gaped at him as he lifted the wooden cover from the steaming hot tub. The whole of Todd’s body was hard and sculpted with muscle and covered in dense black hair. His cock was soft and hung between his thighs, as long as mine when it was hard and thick as my wrist. I gulped. Todd saw me staring and grinned as he stepped into the water. “Come on in Hoyt. It’s good.”

I blushed as I pulled of my shirt, and it was a welcome relief to break from Todd’s gaze to untie my boots and take off my socks, shucked off my short and boxers together, wincing at the pull of crusted semen on my sparse pubic hairs and stepped quickly into the water hopefully before Todd could get a good look at me. I was so little and soft compared to him. It was embarrassing. I sat on the little bench seat opposite Todd and I had to admit that the warm water was wonderful on my skin.

“You’re too cute when you blush.” Todd was smiling at me, his big broad grin making me want to hide my face. He moved across the hot tub towards me, and I shivered when he ran his rough thumb along the back of my neck, “We didn’t get odd to such a good start did we?”

“I suppose not.” I wanted to growl that it was his fault, but I kept quiet.

“I’m sorry about… before. I was a jerk to you.” I blinked and turned to look up at him, his face so close, “Can I make it up to you Hoyt?”

I was petrified, but I nodded and Todd brought his big hand across me cheek, caressing down my neck and shoulder. I leant into his touch. Well you’ve done a one-eighty there Hoyt. Skinny pretty boys is it? I snapped at my inner voice, and then there was no inner voice as Todd dipped his head and touched my lips with his own. I’d never kissed a guy with stubble, and his whiskers scratched and tickled and turned my on like nobody’s business. He hung back, his lips just brushing my own, it was an exquisite torture. I leant forwards, and as though he’d been waiting for that permission, Todd responded to me, wrapping a big hand around the back of my skull, pressing his lips against mine.

I groaned and opened up for his tongue, wanting the kiss and the heat of him pressed against my chest as our tongues duelled. His lips were rough but soft and I felt like I was on fire. When he pulled back I was panting.

“God you’re good at that Hoyt.” Todd’s voice was so husky to practically be a growl, his toffee brown eyes dilated and watching me with interest.

“Thanks. You too.” I breathed heavily, having Todd this close, smelling of man and wilderness, was intoxicating and dizzying. But I felt something hot coil up inside me when he moved closer, a big hand on my thigh. Why do I feel like I’m cheating on Mato? I shook my head quickly, “Todd. I… I can’t.”

To my surprise he nodded and moved his hand away.

“It’s alright. You take all the time you need OK?” I made a move to get up out of the hot tub and Todd gestured to the pile of towels on a nearby chair. I wrapped one around me, hiding my erection from him, “You’ll come back right?”

I wanted to say no, but I looked at him there, naked in the chest high water, so obviously hot for me and I knew that I couldn’t say it. I wanted to come back. Hell I wanted to kiss him again. I nodded tightly.

“Y-yeah.” I grabbed my shorts and got dressed quickly, “Thanks for the beer,” Which I hadn’t drunk, but never mind, “Bye Todd.”

He made no move to get up, but by the time I rounded the front of the house I swore I heard the beginnings of a groan. I was half way across the river before I realised I’d left my soiled boxers on his deck. Now that was embarrassing.

*

Over the next week I settled into a new routine. I woke up every morning and helped out around the site. It was the beginning of tourist season and we were very busy, new people checking in and out all the time. I got put on cabin cleaning duty. I didn’t mind. I ate lunch with the staff, did odd jobs and then when the sun hit three o’clock I went for a walk across the river.

I met Mato in the forest, and I would follow him to clearings and little copses. It was just like it had been before, only so much better. He would touch me all the time, brushing his thick fur along my body. He snuffled under my shirt so often I just started to remove them when we lay down together. I loved to feel his pelt on my skin. Just being with him made me hard as granite. Most day’s we would drift asleep curled up together, often I would orgasm from his sheer closeness and the way he loved to nose and lick at my crotch through my shorts. I never left before I had to.

After I’d seen Mato I would jog to Todd’s, my shirt stuck in the back of my shorts. Most of the time he would be chopping wood or fixing things, doing maintenance on his truck, that sort of thing. He was really good with his hands and I liked to watch him work. He started to keep a stock of cola in the fridge for when I got there. I would go straight to the fridge and get him a beer and me a coke and we would chat while he worked. He was so easy to talk to; he never pressed me to say anything I didn’t want to share. Most days we would end up naked in the hot tub.

Kissing was good. Todd was an excellent kisser. He knew just what to do to get me all riled up, nibbling my bottom lip, nipping at my neck while I moaned and panted. I loved to touch his chest and his chiselled abs. But we didn’t get much further than that. Kissing was great, touching was amazing, but every time he tried to move further I would push him away, even if just a little. I always felt a hot little snake of guilt for wanting him, for not being with Mato.

There came a Sunday at Alpine Lodge where we had a bunch of people check out and no one new due until the following morning so Harry and Gail decided to have another big barbeque. They told me I could invite anyone wanted. There wasn’t anyone I wanted to invite from town, and Todd was already coming over anyways. When they started setting up I went over the river to see my bear.

Mato was waiting for me around the first bend in the path. He was sitting on his haunches and he opened out his arms when he saw me.

“Mato!” I ran to the big bear, landing directly in the centre of his chest, cuddling deep into his fur as he clung to me, “I missed you buddy.”

“Hrum,” Mato’s chest vibrated under me and I closed my eyes in relief. It felt so good to be wrapped up with this big black bear. I reached up and stroked the two cinnamon coloured patches either side of his muzzle, “Wruf?”

“I can’t stay long. Harry is throwing a barbeque party and I have to be there. I want to stay here with you.” I felt Mato’s big pink tongue on my ear and my cheek and I giggled, “You big softy. Come on.”

I got up and Mato swung onto all fours and we walked through the woods together to our favourite clearing. For the first time I noticed that there was a little delicate inuksuk just at the edge of the path to the clearing.

“I wonder who builds these.” I bent to look at it and nearly went flying as Mato’s pushed his muzzle against my arse. “Hey buddy.” I turned to face my bear and he immediately stuck his muzzle up under my shirt, sniffing and snuffling at me. I dragged the garment off over my head and yelped in surprise as Mato pressed his warm tongue against one of my nipples, “Mato!” the big bear nudged me until I got the hint to sit down, and then moved over me. He licked at my nipple again and I gasped, by breath catching in my chest. His breath was warm on my chest, but I shivered in anticipation. “Oh…”

I lay back in the grass, panting, my abdomen tight and my breath shallow. Mato was nuzzling at my navel, and then I felt his tongue over the growing bulge in my shorts. I had just thrown on the flannel shorts after lunch, and the elastic waistband pulled lower over my hips as Mato snuffled at me. I looked down at him, his big golden eyes wanting.

“Raworl?” Mato gripped the hem of my shorts in his teeth and tugged. He’d never actually tried to make me remove my clothes before. I shook my head, but my heart wasn’t in it. “Rumph.” He demanded.

“But…” I couldn’t think of a single other thing to say to follow my protest, and when Mato tugged again I simply raised up my hips and allowed him to slide my shorts down my legs. I pressed his nose to the wet spot in my boxers where my cock was turning the fabric dark with precum. I didn’t even put up a fight, just hooked my thumbs into the waistband and pushed them down my thighs. I was nearly naked in the woods, my short hard cock dripping precum onto my soft flat stomach. Mato looked really pleased with himself and snorted over my cock. The feel of his hot breath made my hard on twitch and jerk.

“What now then Mato?”

My big black bear licked at the pooling liquid on my belly and I stopped breathing as he worked back up my chest, licking and nuzzling at me. He licked my neck and jaw and I pushed my fingers into the fur of his ruff. He lay his body over me, warm soft fur and heat settling over my naked skin from knee to neck. My cock was aching and I really, really wanted to touch myself. Mato was heavy and warm on top of me. But it wasn’t long before I felt myself getting dizzy. He was really heavy.

“Mato? Bud, I need to breathe.”

“Rawh rumn,” Mato got up off me and licked my face again. I loved the feel of his smooth tongue on my skin. He moved his head and licked at my nipples, making my back arch.

“Oh fuck…”

Then his hot breath was on my cock and he was licking all over my slim cock, my crotch and my balls. I was panting hard, I could barely focus on any one sensation, but I curled up and kept my fingers in his fur.

“Mato! Oh fuck… I can’t… shit…” Mato was lapping at my balls, working his way down. I spread my legs for him automatically, allowing his cold nose to touch at my most private of places. The heat of his tongue on my crack as he licked me, the sensation as his tongue found my entrance and licked at me, and it was all too much to cope with. “Mato… stop. I’m gonna… fuck! Mato!”

My cock jerked and spurted and I half lacked out as the thick ropes of my cum spurted out of me, splattering across my abdomen and chest. I lay panting, unable to think and I felt my bear licking up my seed from my body. The air was cool on my flushed wet skin and I grinned like an idiot as the bear licked up me before becoming level with my face.

“I love you Mato.” I went to wrap my arms around his big neck but he’d pulled away. I sat up. “Mato?” My bear was standing staring at me in shock. I reached out to him but he back off, shell shaped ears swivelling backwards, “Mato. Buddy, what’s wrong?”

Mato whined, shaking his massive head from side to side, he was frowning, a whimper escaping his throat.

“But…” I could feel my eyes filling with tears, “But I just…” It was no use, I was crying, my face wet, “I love you.”

Mato groaned, and then my big bear was turning away from me and running through the woods, leaving me spent and naked and humiliated on the grass.

Eventually I got up, pulled up my boxers and shorts, grabbed my shirt and pulled it on. I walked like an automaton back towards the river, still snivelling and crying. On the bridge I made an effort to wipe my face, but I knew my eyes were red, the tell-tale blotchiness of tears. The sun was going down, but I found no joy in the sunset. I had let my bear lick at my privates in the woods. You’re such a freak Hoyt. I had come for him. It’s so fucking wrong. What’s wrong with you? I had told him I loved him. I like you can be in love with a bear you moron.

I hadn’t let anyone touch me since that night I wished hadn’t happened. And in a weird cruel twist it had ended up pretty much the same way, me naked and degraded, crying over something I had lost. It didn’t pay attention to anything as I walked into the campsite. I just wanted to head to my cabin, lie down and never get up again. Or you could just take the easy way out and slit your wrists. But Harry intercepted me as I got close to where the barbeque and the party was in full swing.

“Hey little brother, where have you been dude?”

“Nowhere,” I snivelled. I tried to sniff, not to sound like I’d just been crying and I dragged a hand across my eyes, “I was just gonna go back and change…”

“Nah, you’re good,” Harry straightened out the collar of my polo shirt and grinned, ruffling my hand in the way he knew I hated, “You go back there and you’ll never come out again. Come with me. Meet people, be nice and social and all that stuff you’re always complaining about.”

“No… Harry…” But that’s the other thing about much older brothers: they never fucking listen.

Harry half frog marched and half led me to where the barbeque was up and running, the big open space lit by tiki torches and the little happy bonfire in the stone circle. He gave me a tight one armed hug and went back to the grill. I stuck my hands in my pocket. I wanted to crawl away into the dark and cry. It was so fucking unfair and there was no one I could talk to about it, no one was going to understand how I could feel dumped when I wasn’t seeing any body. Mato wasn’t an ordinary bear, but at that moment I hoped he hadn’t understood what I’d said. If he’d left because I’d said that I loved him… I gulped down a big sob, I couldn’t take that.

I grabbed a soda out of the open cooler near the fire and turned to find Todd standing really, really close to me. The firelight glimmered in his eyes and made them glow like the sunset on the river.

“Hey there Hoyt.” His voice was low and full of meaning that I didn’t understand, but my name sounded like sex in his voice and it sent shivers up my spine.

“Hi Todd.” I was panting already. Knowing what he looked like under his shirt made me instantly hard, shame and guilt twisting around to become rampant horniness and enough anger to knock my common sense of its block so that I didn’t over think what I was doing when I fisted my hand in the front of his shirt, “Come on,” I tugged at him, taking a step backwards, “Come with me.”

I don’t know if it says more about Todd for not having any self-control or me for being young and skinny and desperate, but he followed and I dragged him away from the barbeque and towards my little cabin. I pushed him up against the door when we got there, and I grabbed the collar of his lumberjack shirt and kissed him really hard. He kissed back, his hands coming around my waist and hips to hold me up to him he was so tall and ravaged my mouth with his talented tongue. I whimpered and writhed against him.

“Hoyt…” He was breathless too as we broke the kiss. I grabbed the door handle and turned it to let us into my little one room cabin. I grabbed at his shirt again, get frustrated with the buttons that my shaking fingers couldn’t deal with, “Hey there buddy, hold up a minute.”

But couldn’t hold up. I knew that the second I actually stopped to think about anything I was doing I was going to burst into tears again, and I didn’t want to do that. I grunted and switched my fingers to his jeans, and the little voice inside me said: You remember the last time you were this desperate to do something and ended up letting some drunk idiot jock take your cherry before he wandered back off to his mates to brag about it? I growled at myself and suddenly found Todd’s massive hands gripping tight around my wrists.

“Hoyt. Stop it. Whoa kiddo.” I was shaking badly and Todd’s voice was thick with concern. He let go on my hands and tilted my chin up to look at him, “Are you drunk?”

“No!” I snapped and I felt my anger subsiding until my shoulders shook and my breath was ragged with the threat of crying, “No! I just wanted…. I wanted s-someone…t-t-to w-want m-m-me…” I was crying and hiccupping and stuttering. So not attractive right now Hoyt… And then Todd wrapped me up in his big arms and pulled me against his sculpted chest, holding me tight and rocking me gently while I cried.

“You wanna tell me what the matter is?” He asked after I’d settled down to merely sniffling.

“Mato left me. I told him… it doesn’t matter. He’s a bear. He got bored and wandered off.”

“And that explains why you tried to tear my clothes off? Don’t get me wrong Hoyt, I want you back, but not when all you’re going to do is regret it in the morning.” Todd moved a step back I just kind of followed. He sat on the edge of my bed and I just folded up in his lap, “You were always the one who stopped me. Come on now little buddy. Talk to me.”

I sniffed.

“I’m getting your shirt all wet.”

“Like I care.” Todd’s hand in my hair was soft and warm, it made me happy for someone to touch me back.

“No guy ever wanted me back. There were guys I thought were hot or pretty or cute, but they never wanted me back. Mato made me happy. He always wanted to see me, I loved hanging out with him. And then… it was just like before.”

“Before?” If Todd thought that my discussing a bear like he was a guy was weird, he didn’t show it, “What happened before?” When I sniffed I felt Todd’s grip tighten like iron, “Are you… You’re not a virgin are you?”

“No.” Now, I hated that I wasn’t. I’d thought that having sex was supposed to be amazing and special and I bet it was when you did it with someone you really cared about. “There was this party, before graduation. There was this guy, Richard. He was sexy and hot and cool and he said he liked me. We danced and chatted all night and drank beers out on the deck.” If the memory had ended there, it would have been a good one, “He said that he thought I was cute and he wanted me. We d-d-did it in a back yard, up against a tree. He was really rough and it hurt and afterwards I told him I couldn’t wait to do it again on his bed. And he just laughed.” You’re kidding? Oh man that was a onetime fucking deal. Younger guys are just so needy. Hey Brent! “And he went off back to his friends. Later I heard them making jokes about it…” I shook as I tried to regulate my breathing, “I thought that things would be different, but apparently I’m unlovable.”

“I never said that,” Todd hugged me really tight and I frowned, trying to make sense of what he’d said, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about that bastard. I figured the quick fumbles were all you’d done.” He sounded angry, but not at me, “That guy took advantage of you. I ever meet him he’s fucking dead.”

“Hang on…” I pulled away from Todd and stared at him, “How did you know…? I never told you… we’ve never actually talked about sex stuff. Just everything else” I got up from Todd’s lap and felt shivers run down my spine, “Have you been fucking spying on me or something?”

“No.” The answer was too quick, “Well, yeah, but only in the beginning before I got to know you better.”

I was shaking as I backed away from the bed. Todd had spied on me. And who had he known about the guys I’d been with? That was stuff I’d only told to Mato… Yeah, Mato. The bear who acts like a person and had big honey brown eyes just like those ones…

“No!”

“Hoyt?” Todd stood up, hands out in front of his body as though trying to pacify and angry dog, “Hoyt it’s OK…”

“No! Get out!”

“Hoyt…”

“Get the fuck out of my house!” I didn’t dare get close enough to touch him, he was so much stronger than me. Todd backed off to the doorway and I slammed the door after him. I could feel him there on the step, waiting in the night for me to let him back in.

“Hoyt… I can explain.”

“NO!” I didn’t want to hear what he said. It was too early to go to bed, but I didn’t care. I grabbed my headphones, put on something angry and distracting and threw myself on my bed to cry. I have no idea how long Todd stood outside my door, I wouldn’t listen, couldn’t hear for the anger in my blood, and eventually I cried myself to sleep.

*

It was like four in the fucking morning when I woke up, just early enough for the sun to be turning the sky a lighter shade of dark because I hadn’t closed the curtains. My mp3 player had run out of battery while I’d slept and my head hurt from sleeping with headphones in. I dragged myself upright. I need to use the bathroom, which meant going outside. But I figured I was safe this side of the river. I let myself out of my back door and did my business in the bathroom. When I came out, I could tell I was being watched.

Mato was standing on his hind legs by the tree line. I froze, just like the first time I’d ever seen him, a big strange bear in the woods. He made a soft little grumbling noise and I looked away. Todd had known things I’d only told Mato. Mato and Todd had the same colour eyes. But… things like that do not exist. Get your head screwed on Hoyt! I looked back at Mato, but he was gone. Todd was standing at the tree line, totally naked, and he looked like he’d been crying.

“Hoyt…”

In my head a screamed. I put my fist in my mouth and dashed back into my cabin, locking the door behind me.

Todd was a bear.

Well yeah Todd’s a bear, he’s so goddamn hairy.

But a bear who’s a real… an actual bear.

A gay bear that is a gay bear? Kinda neat.

Kind of fucking insane. I’ve gone mad.

Well yeah, probably. You’ve been jerking off with him for months.

Oh god…

Don’t try and pretend now that you didn’t enjoy it.

I decided to stop having a conversation with myself. Which was fine, but it just left me with one massive unanswered question along with a whole bunch of other little ones.

Why did he run away when I told him I loved him?

*

Harry physically hauled me out of the cabin around four in the afternoon. I didn’t want to let him in but he had a spare key. He dragged me outside and practically threw me in the shower. He was mad, but I didn’t think it was about not showing up for work. He dumped combat shorts, socks, hiking boots and an Alpine Lodge polo on the counter by the sink before storming off again. I showered and washed my hair, dried off and got dressed. I tried to comb my hair with my fingers, but it was a random mess regardless of what I tried to do with it. My older brother was leaning against the side of my cabin with his arms folded, waiting for me. He looked less angry now, and I knew those lines that creased his brow. Dad used to have the same ones when he was worried.

“Harry?”

“I’m sorry Hoyt. I should never have dragged you out here and expected you to like it.”

“Huh?” I was all prepared for him to bawl me out for being rude and imbecilic, but not for him to be apologising to me.

“You’ve made it pretty clear that you don’t like it here with us. I thought it would be fun, a chance to be a proper brother for a change.”

“You are a proper brother.” I did something I hadn’t done in a long time, I stepped up and hugged him, “I’m sorry for being so all over the place.”

“Gail said she saw you with Todd last night. This got anything do with him?” I nodded tightly, “Did he hurt you? Fucker, I’ll-!”

“He didn’t hurt me Harry,” I laid a hand on my brother’s tense forearm, “You’re not mad at me?”

“Well sure I am, you left us high and dry this morning. But,” He shrugged, “You needed the time huh? So what’s going on with you and Todd then? Is it serious?”

I shrugged.

“I don’t know. That’s kinda what the fight was about. I thought it was.”

“Oh.” Harry started at his boots. I knew he was no good at this stuff: Gail was a very patient woman, “You should go to talk to him.”

“Yeah,” I turned to look in the direction of the river, both the ‘men’ I was in love with were on the other side of the icy Athabasca, “I know.”

*

I walked up into the woods. It was about an hour before sun set and everything glowed in the late afternoon light, every colour somehow richer than it usually was. I had taken the path that led to Todd’s, then veered off at the first of the little inuksuk markers, pointing into the forest, towards ‘our’ favourite clearing. I was surprised how well I knew the route really, I’d never felt like I’d paid attention before, just been desperate to see Mato and hug him and touch his thick soft fur. Now I walked with my hands in my pockets, hoping he’d be there and simultaneously praying for some divine miracle that would know what to say this time and it wouldn’t all end in tears.

“Hurmnt?” I stopped at the edge of the clearing. Mato was waiting for me, sitting on his haunches and hold his forelegs open for our usual hug. I looked him up and down, wanting to stroke the softer than velvet cinnamon patches either side of his muzzle, wanting to snuggle into him. I didn’t. I walked forwards until I was still just out of touching distance and nodded to him.

“Hi.”

“Hernnn.” His brow furrowed and he made an unhappy noise, dropping his gaze to the ground. I shuffled my feet.

“You ran away from me.”

“Moohmmn.”

“Yeah well it fucking hurt.” I touched his muzzle, making him look up at me, those big honey brown soulful eyes, “I did everything you wanted and you ran away.” I sniffed. I would not cry. I wouldn’t, “You have any idea how shit that made me feel?”

“Moourm.”

I touched his fur, running my hand through the thick ruff, then moving up to stroke his cinnamon brown muzzle. It was the softest thing I’d ever known.

“OK. Show me.”

“Hurmnt?”

“Yeah, I mean it.” I fisted my hand in the thick fur of his chest, “Show me.”

It was weird, and really hard to describe. It was like Mato melted, and at the same time, every hair of his fur glowed like a golden fibre optic. His eyes didn’t change, they never left mine, and in a moment Mato was gone and Todd, naked and hairy, his thick black hair lying flat on his skin, exactly like Mato’s pelt, and my fingers were curled into the hair of his chest. He was breathing really hard.

“Oh… right.”

“I’m sorry Hoyt.” Todd’s voice was rough and low, and when he wrapped an arm around me I melted against his chest, “I should’ve… I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I…” I couldn’t think of anything to say except the one thing I was scared to say, “I’m in love with a bear.”

“Yeah,” Todd was smiling, “I remember.”

“Why’d you run?”

“I was scared. I didn’t want your first time to be with… a bear. I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to.” Todd’s hands ran over my back and I pressed against him. He was naked and I could feel his erection was hard and pressing into me, “I really wanted to, I didn’t want you freaking out.”

“Can we go back to your house now?”

“Sure thing Hoyt.” His hand wrapped around mine, all strong and warm.

“But, someone might see, and you’re um…not wearing anything.”

Todd shrugged, as if he spent a lot of time naked in the woods. I suppose he did.

“You want me to change back?”

I nodded, a bit scared to speak.

It was the same thing in reverse, the sensation of movement, the golden light that glittered and then Mato was pushing his muzzle up against my belly and rumbling something that I didn’t understand. I walked through the woods with my hand in his fur, walking with my bear, not scared at all of being with the beast so much bigger and stronger than myself.

We didn’t talk as we walked to Todd’s house, which was nice, it gave me time to have my inner brain shout at me. A bear… holy fucking shit, and actual fucking bear… and he what? Loves you? Jesus H Christ… And on and on it went in my head like a little carousel trying to drive me mad. Once we got to Todd’s house I shut myself up and realised why Todd had designed his house with open plan living in mind and the size of the bear meant that the big doors were especially useful. I followed Mato into the house and he stood in the centre of the lounge waiting for me. I sat on the sofa and pulled off my boots, then curled my legs up underneath me.

Mato put his big head into my lap and I stroked the top of his head gently. He huffed gently on my crotch and I blushed and squirmed. I didn’t really have any reason to feel embarrassed, Todd had seen me naked plenty of times and Mato had licked me all over, but it was strange being in the house with the big bear, his head in my lap and his warm breath making me hard again.

“Mato…” I frowned, “Todd… I don’t know what I should call you.” I rubbed his furrowed muzzle, he was frowning, “I would never have told you all those things if I’d known who you were. Or done… any of that. But I don’t regret it.” I sighed deeply, looking down into the face of the bear I loved, “I have to know. I have… feelings for you. For this version of you. I wanna have those feelings for the other you too.”

Mato nodded.

“This isn’t just a sex thing right?”

The bear shook his head.

“Good.” I stood up. “I’m gonna go to the bedroom. Can you… can Todd come in in a sec?”

Nod, nod.

“OK.”

I walked on shaking legs to Todd’s bed room and pulled back the covers and the native blanket on his bed. Now that I was here I wasn’t sure what to do. I remembered how soft Todd’s bed had been, so I stripped of my shirt and socks and took off my shorts, but left my boxers on, and crawled to the centre of Todd’s bed and just sat there with my knees against my chest, wondering what the hell I wanted to happen here.

I want… I didn’t know what the hell I wanted. OK, so I did know. I wanted Todd to walk in here with his hot and sexy self and I wanted him to touch me and kiss me and I didn’t want to feel guilty or hung up about it.

“Look at you thinking away in there.” Todd stood leaning against the doorjamb totally naked, his temple resting on his forearm, “You OK?”

I nodded quickly. The lights were dim, the low sunset coming in through the big window, and Todd looked amazing. His big broad chest heaved, tight defined abs accentuated by his thick dark hair. I had never seen him hard before, and I almost didn’t want to look. His heavy balls nestled between his thighs, fully visible because his cock, thick as my wrist, a dark column of hard flesh, was poking towards his navel. I gulped. Todd took a step towards the bed and I followed the lines of his bulging thighs. He was hairy everywhere, from ankles to collar bones, and like his real fur, it lay flat and soft looking. He ran a hand through is thick hair, making it stand on end, and I realised that he was nervous too.

“You sure about this Hoyt?”

“Y-yes.” I reached out a hand towards him and let out a shaky breath I handed realised I’d been holding when I felt his hand on mine, his fingers locking between my own before his weight settled on the bed. He moved closer to me and I felt the hot weight of him resting on my shoulder, so I drifted backwards on the bed as he settled next to me. He was so much bigger, taller and broader than I was and the bed dipped towards him. I loved the feel of his warm body next to mind. I turned towards him and buried my face in his fur, cuddling up to him just as I had when he was a real bear. His hands ran down my back, one coming to rest on the waistband of my boxers as he pulled me against him. I wanted to forget that he was human, I wanted to forget that he had made me come in the forest the day before, that I’d been that wanton and abandoned of my senses. It was so shameful. I whimpered.

“Hey…” Todd’s voice was soft in my ear, and I shivered all down my side. His fingers lifted my chin to look up at him, “No tears now pretty boy. You’re safe now.”

I ran my hand down his front, tracing the ridges of his musculature until I brushed against his cock. I wanted to pull away, but I didn’t.

“You don’t have to Hoyt.”

The lack of pressure made me bold, and I wrapped my hand around his huge girth. His skin was like velvet over iron, and I stared, fascinated by the way the big blunt head vanished and reappeared as his foreskin contracted with my hand.

“Oh babe…” Todd breathed into my hair, his other hand rubbing the back of my neck, “God that feels good.”

I grinned to myself, pleased that I’d made Todd groan like that. I wanted to please him. Mato had made me happy so much, now I could do something for him too. I twisted my hand as I stroked him and ran my other fingers through his furry chest.

“You’re so furry… I mean hairy,” I looked up at him, hoping he didn’t think I only wanted him as a bear, “I like it.”

“Good…” Todd’s words were drawn out into a moan, and I tilted my head up to kiss him. He kissed right back, his hand in my hair, pulling my lips against his roughly as his tongue invaded my mouth. I groaned against him, my cock twitching and leaking into my boxers. I felt him grin at my reaction and I tugged experimentally on his hard dick and he growled in my ear until I shivered in delight. “You’re so perfect babe.”

“I am not,” I pulled away from him slightly to look down at myself. I was small and pale and soft compared to his chiselled hairy self.

“Never say that. You’re perfect for me.” Todd rolled me onto my back, hands on my shoulders, and began to lick and nibble his way down my neck to my chest, “I love your body. You fit into me just right, and you’re so soft,” he licked at my nipple and I arched towards his warm mouth, “I remember that sound.”

“Oh god…”

Todd grazed his teeth over the nipple and I practically jumped off the bed. Todd’s knee spread my thighs, his big leg pressing heavily into the wet bulge of my underwear. I wanted to lose myself in the feel of his body pressing me into the soft bed. It felt safe and wonderful.

“I really want to touch you,” Todd growled in my ear, “Please Hoyt?”

I nodded mutely. Every time I thought about it, I was really nervous again and it helped to lay back and have Todd take charge. He hooked thick fingers into my wet boxers and drew them down over my skinny hips. Then he pressed his face to my crotch and sniffed greedily.

“Todd!” I covered my mouth with my hands, then tried to push him off, but he was way too strong, gripping my hips and sniffing me all over. Then he kissed the tip of my leaking cock and I saw the room go brighter as my pupils dilated really quickly, “Todd!”

“Yes Boy?” He sounded smug and possessive and I kinda liked it.

“Why do you do that?”

“You smell awesome,” He grinned at me as he spoke, running his big hands down my thighs. He could easily wrap his whole hand around my knees I was that little compared to him, “I love the way you smell.”

“You’re weird.”

“Yup,” Todd licked my cock again, the shape of his lips wrapping against my smooth little shaft, “Weird is good babe.” Then he locked his lips around the head of my cock, swallowed my length down his throat and I stop being capable of coherent thought. The world was white, made of nothing but the hot sucking sensation of Todd moving up and down my cock, his tongue lapping and twisting at the engorged flesh. He groaned around me and the vibrations pushed me towards the edge. I could feel the tightness rising in my balls, his big hand resting on my abdomen and I scrambled to find his head and pull him off me before I came.

“Todd, I’m gonna… fuck, Todd! Please!” he growled around me and sucked me down. I locked onto his gaze for like a second before my eyes rolled back in my head, by back arching and curving off the bed, every muscle going tense as I came in the fiery hot confines of his mouth. The big muscled bear swallowed all my seed, then let me slip softly from his mouth, leaning up on his elbows with the biggest shit eating grin I had ever seen.

“Todd… you…” I could barely form whole syllables.

“You are the sexiest thing alive when you come Hoyt.”

I blushed crimson, all the blood from my softening cock going straight to my face.

“And the cutest thing when you blush. C’mere Boy.” Todd pulled me against him as he moved up the bed and rolled us so that I was nestled on top of his chest, his arms around me, “See, I told you you’d fit really well.”

“But…” I traced the fur over his pecs with my fingers, trailed my hand up into his dense beard, “I wanna make you feel good too.”

“You already did babe.”

“Huh?”

“Like I could hear you make those noisily without making a mess everywhere.” I blushed furiously again, “We got time pretty one, we can rest now. Let you get your strength back for round two.” Todd started to stroke my hair, petting me as fatigue and stress began to overtake my body. I was so comfy lying on him, wrapped up all warm and safe in his arms.

“Why would you be so patient with me?” I nuzzled at him sleepily, barely awake for the end of the sentence. Todd’s answer followed me down into sleep and made all my dreams hazy and golden.

“Cause I love you Hoyt.”

*

I woke up and panicked for about half a second before I remembered where I was. Behind me, Todd made a soft snuffling noise and then his arm tightened around me, pulling me back against his warm naked body. He grumbled something indistinguishable and I felt his lips moving in my hair. I snuggled back into the warm cove created by his body and sighed. There was nothing wrong with the bed in my cabin, but this was way, way better. I moved against Todd and felt his thick heavy cock twitch.

He was still pretty much asleep, so I reached down between my own legs and touched at his crotch. He was so much bigger than me that his cock began to press up under my balls as it rose, lengthening and thickening out until I swear it must have been twice the size of my own. I wrapped my hand around my bear’s dick and began to jack him slowly in my fist, pausing every few strokes to rub my thumb over the slit at the top of his big blunt head. It wasn’t until he groaned in my ear that I realised he was awake.

“Oh god babe…”

“Am I doing OK?” I asked, keeping my voice low.

“Fuck yeah,” Todd’s arms were tight around my chest, his big hands covering my torso, “I love to see your little hand on my cock like that.” He brushed against one of my nipples and I squeaked in surprise and pleasure, “Keep going babe.” He began to roll the tight nub of my nipple between his thick fingers as I stroked him, trying to keep pace with my rapidly increasing breaths.

“Oh Hoyt! Fuck babe I’m close… oh god…” Todd was groaning and panting my ear, I could feel his hips jerking, aiding my hand as I stroked him, all his muscles hard as rock and tense against my back, “Oh yeah, babe, make me shoot…” his cock pulsed in my hand and I could feel his orgasm boiling up inside him, “Here… Hoyt!”

I yelped as he growled and bit down on the sensitive part where my neck met my shoulder, as he came. His cock pumped jet after jet of thick hot cum all over my hands and the sheets in front of me. It felt like he came forever. He licking and chewed on my neck, and it hurt, but it was good, and I knew I’d have a mark there.

“Holy fucking Christ,” Todd began licking up the back of my neck tenderly kissing my skin, “That was amazing.

I raised my hand, covered in his seed to my face and licked experimentally. He tasted thick and sort of musky-sweet, like some kind of amazing dessert. Behind me Todd groaned.

“Sorry,” I blushed quickly, “Is that too weird?”

“No that’s fucking sexy Boy. Hot damn.”

I giggled and licked the rest of my hands clean.

“You make waking up in the middle of the night so much fun babe.” Todd whispered into my ear gently, sending tingles up and down my spine, “I wanna see you touch yourself.”

“Uh huh,” I didn’t dare ask a question about it. Mato liked to see me touch myself, and my cock was so hard that I needed the release. I knew it wouldn’t take long. Todd’s body vibrated with desire behind me as I jerked and tugged at my little hard cock.

“Oh yeah baby,” Todd brought his big hand around me, the other still playing with my nipples and rubbed his thumb over the head. I jumped and gasped. “You are so fucking beautiful. God I wanna watch you come for me.”

“Todd… I want…”

“Just think that soon I’m gonna be touching your arse, fucking you nice and gentle and slow the way you deserve pretty boy.”

“Oh god…” Todd’s words sent me over the edge. I tensed, but his big hands stopped me from curling up and he gripped me tight as I came in several short bursts over the sheets and his hand. My seed combined with his, and something about that was sexy too. Todd rubbed the tip of my dick softly with his thumb, sending aftershocks through my body like little jolts of lighting, then he raised his hand and tasted my cum.

“You taste great, you know that?”

“Really?”

“Best flavour there is.” Todd pulled my close to him so that we weren’t at risk of lying in the mess we’d made. “You’re a good boy Hoyt. Rest a bit now, it’s still late.”

I snuggled into Todd’s back with my head pillowed on his arm, his hand coming round to curve over half of my narrow chest. His fur was so soft and smooth against my skin, he was warm, and I felt safe. Sleep came quickly and dragged me under.

*

“Mhn…” I sighed gently, letting out a shuddering breath, “Feels good.”

“Is that right?” Todd’s low voice was a growl in my ear and I blushed at his words, “You’re so fucking cute when you do that Boy.”

I opened one eye. It was nearly morning, the sky a fantastic kind of lilac and pink colour that you got just before dawn sometimes, even though the stars were still visible above the trees. I was lying on my side, pillowed and cuddled against Todd’s much bigger, more muscular body. It felt good. What felt really good was that his thick fat cock was rubbing between my cheeks, touching and pressing every pass at my tight private opening. His big hand was kneading my arse, big fingers gripping at my pale soft flesh.

“God you feel so fucking good babe. I can’t wait until this,” He squeezed possessively, “Is all mine.”

I pushed back against him and moaned.

“Then don’t wait,” I whispered, a tiny part of my hoping he wouldn’t hear, “I want you.”

“Oh Hoyt,” he kissed the back of my neck, running his tongue over the bruised flesh of the love bite, “Babe you don’t have too. I want it, but I can wait until you’re ready.”

I turned very slightly so that I could look at his face above me and ran a hand through his dense but neatly trimmed beard.

“I wanna belong to you. I want you…” I paused, knowing that going back on what I said was not an option, “I am ready.”

“Sure?” I could heard the wanting and the lust in Todd’s gravelly voice and I loved that I had that power over him. I pushed back against him, loving the thick heat of his cock nestled in the sensitive flesh of my backside. That was all the permission he apparently needed because he claimed my mouth roughly, his kisses stubbled and soft, his tongue playing with mine in our joined mouths.

Todd rolled onto his back, bringing me with him, so that I lay directly over his chest, my head pillowed on his shoulder. He hiked us up so that he was leaning against the headboard with me in his lap. His cock pressed against me and I shivered in wanting.

“Spread your legs,” the command made me quiver all over, and my cock twitched and began leaking precum like crazy, “Atta good boy.” Todd wrapped one hand around my dripping cock and got his fingers nice and wet before he dipped his hand between my legs. He touched one slippery finger to my entrance and I flinched. His other hand pressed over my leaping heart.

“You feel that?” I could feel his heart hammering again my back, that pulse reflected in his palm over my heart. “That’s because I love you Hoyt.” The words were whispered, but strong, “I don’t want there to be anyone but you and me Boy. Not now. Not ever.”

I nodded, took his hand and kissed the palm as he cradled my face. I wanted to turn over, to run my hands over his furry chest, but all the sensations were too sweet, and I feared that if I could see the look in his eyes I would be crying like a child. He kissed my neck and shoulder and I groaned under his touch. Then he applied pressure and pushed a thick finger past my tight entrance. I gasped and gritted my teeth. It had been such a long time since… I shook my head, not wanting to think about that now, not when Todd’s breath was ragged and hot in my ear.

“You want me to stop?”

“No.” Todd wriggled his finger inside me and then curled the digit as he pegged my prostate, “Dear god no. I’ll kill you if you stop.”

Todd growled in approval and began to slide his finger in and out of me as I squirmed on his chest, his other arm keeping my pinned to him. His head left me to gather more lubrication from my dripping cock before he entered me again, adding a second finger. I felt stretched, it hurt, but the pain was easily outweighed by the pleasure. I mewled and hissed as he added a third finger now it hurt.

“W-wait! It h-hurts.”

“Shhh…” Todd kissed me, turning my face to him gently with one hand. His kiss was so passionate and distracting I didn’t realised he’d moved within me until his fingers brushed at my g-spot again. I groaned and bit his lip gently, “See. Better right?” he continued to thrust into me with his fingers, aiming again and again for my pleasure centre until was I snapping and writhing in his arms, desperate to come and to feel him inside me.

“Please Todd! I need you inside me. I’m gonna explode…”

“Oh pretty one,” Todd chuckled in my ear, “You make me so hard when you beg.”

When his fingers vanished I felt empty and I squirmed, trying to get the sensation back. Todd stroked my cock a few times, collecting the thick slippery precum and I gaped watching him rub his huge erection in my fluids. He pushed his hairy legs between my own and spread my knees wider, opening me up for him. His breath was hot in my ear, licks and kisses driving me crazy. I wanted to look, and didn’t want to look, flooding hot in my face at the sight of his huge cock position below mine, ready to plunge into me. Todd used one hand to line himself up with my tight entrance, and then I felt the building pressure. I tried not to be tense, and when he pinched my nipples I gasped in surprise and shock and the big bulbous head of his cock slipped in. I felt stretched, and there was pain, but Todd grunted at the sensation of my body around him.

“Hot damn Boy, you’re so tight.” He rocked his hips forwards gently, sliding another few inches of his hot flesh into me, “Jees Hoyt you feel so fucking fantastic.”

I blushed and Todd pulled my gaze away from or joined bodies and kissed me hard, his tongue ravaging my mouth. I kissed him back just as hungrily and he moved himself into me until my arse nestled against his furry crotch. It felt amazing to lie there with his hot, hard, hairy body underneath me, his arms encircling me, hands running up and over my torso, swirling circles around my nave and travelling over the whole of my soft pale body. I ran my hands down his sides, the hard ripped muscle covered in such a dense layer of fur. I felt full and stretched and wanted, and it was so good.

Todd began to move his hips underneath me, dragging his cock from the heat of my tight passage before slowly pushing back in. It was torturous, too slow and so fucking good all at the same time and I mewled and writhing and whimpered on top of him, wanting more, wanting him to slam into me and claim me over and over again. Just as the border of pleasure was giving way to frustration, Todd changed rhythm and slammed into me with such force I would have flown across the room had he not been holding onto me.

“Oh fuck yes!” I gritted my teeth as he banged into me again, just as hard as I wanted him too, I loved that I could make him feel this way, that he snarled into my skin as he nipped at my neck, and groaned low to counterpoint my high pitched whimpering.

“You like that Hoyt?” Todd snarled in my ear as he jerked his hips up, thrusting the whole of his thick length into me, “Tell how much so like it.”

“Oh god! Please Todd, please fuck me with your big cock,” I began to babble incoherently as he gripped my hips and sped up, “ToddfuckingpleaseIneedyou… Iwantyourbigcockinmesohard… ugnh…”

“Yeah babe, you feel so fucking fantastic around my cock,” Todd kissed the mark he’d left on my neck, “I’m gonna fuck you just like this in the middle of the woods with all of nature looking at you and seeing how fucking sexy you are.”

“Ugnn… Todd… I’m gonna… please…” I could barely form words I was so on edge. Every thrust sent his meaty cock sliding over my prostate, pushing me closer to my own orgasm as he pumped my cock at the same speed. I grabbed his huge bicep, my fingers barely wrapping half way around the furry muscle and screamed as I came. I curled up, all the hidden muscles of my abdomen tensing as my cock spurted in Todd’s thick fist, splattering my cum over my chest. I felt the tight ring of muscle grip automatically in response around Todd’s cock and his pace faltered, jerked and then he was pumping me full of his white hot seed.

I collapsed back against him, utterly exhausted from the intensity of our rutting, and panting against his heaving chest.

“Fuck…” I panted, barely finding the energy to form words, “That…was…incredible.”

“The best babe,” Todd’s arms squeezed me until I could barely breathe, “I don’t ever wanna let you go.”

“Air!”

“Sorry,” Todd chuckled and licked the shell of my ear with the tip of his tongue causing me to shiver, “I mean it Hoyt. I want you to be mine.”

“I am yours,” I turned, twisting until I could see his face, causing his softening member to slip from me, “Just yours.” I kissed him, “And Mato’s right? I still get to see him?”

“Of course pretty boy,” Todd traced my jaw with his big hand, “Of course. You wanna come sit in the hot tub with me? Relax and clean up?”

“Sure.”

Getting up is not a graceful process when you’re cover in your own cum, having just been thoroughly fucked by one incredibly well-endowed bear, his seed leaking down your thigh. I winced at the soreness and found myself scooped up in Todd’s strong arms.

“Fuck, how can you have any energy left at all?”

“Any excuse to touch you babe.” I hung on around his neck as Todd carried me out back, putting me down only when he had to remove the covers from the hot tub. I got in gingerly, but the combination of bubbles and the warm water was so good that I felt myself dissolving as Todd slid in next to me.

“So what do I call you now?” I asked, walking my fingers up his chest, tripping on the hard muscles, “Are you we boyfriend’s?”

Todd snarled.

“Too casual,” I wrapped an arm around me and brought me to his side, “I wanna just call you ‘mine’ and growl at everyone who looks at you.”

“Yeah,” I jabbed him in the chest and winced as my knuckle crunched, there was no give in his muscles at all, “You don’t like seeing me with other people. That was mean what you did to that poor tourist kid.”

“You can’t even remember his name can you?” Todd’s smile was broad and possessive and smug.

“No.”

“Ha!”

“Well maybe this wouldn’t have been so hard if you’d just been nice to me when we’d first met,” I pouted, crossing my arms, “Instead of being all creepy and calling me ‘Boy’ all the time.”

“Didn’t want anyone else coming near you,” Todd frowned, and I suddenly hated that I’d made him upset, “I wanted you to be mine.”

“Hey,” I swung my leg over him so that I was half out of the water, straddling his lap, “I like it when you call me ‘Boy’ now. I like being your boy. I like having my big strong bear there to protect me.” I walked my fingers down his chest and wrapped my small hand around his half hard cock.

“Already?” Todd seemed genuinely surprised, and when I nodded his member quickly thickened in my hand as I lined him up with my entrance. The water made things easier and Todd slid right in up to the hilt with only a flash of pain and tightness as he growled my name. He ran his finger over the mark on my neck.

“I want everyone to know your mine, and I’m yours too babe.”

“Does that mean?” I licked at his shoulder and he pushed the back of my head as he thrust long and slow and meaningfully. I bit into the muscle of his shoulder and sucked at his skin until I raised a dark bruise the size of a loonie dollar.

“Oh god yes!”

And that was how my brother Harry found us, locked around each other in the hot tub wearing matches love bites and making the water splash. He went from being crazy frantic in his search for me to being horrified at catching his little brother fucking his friend, then angry at Todd for taking advantage, then pissed off at me for not calling. Relieved apparently didn’t feature on this list of emotions. He stomped into the house and Todd chuckled in my ear.

“It is not funny!”

“It’s kinda funny. His face… I thought he was going to faint.”

“Jerk,” I swiped at Todd’s shoulder and ended up wincing from the blow, “I have to live with him.”

“Not for long maybe?” Todd arched an eyebrow and smiled, and by the way his heart thudded, I knew that he meant it.

We got out of the hot tub and Todd wrapped us both in towels before walking into the house. He grabbed a beer out of the fridge and handed me a soda, dropping a quick kiss on the top of my head.

“Harry, my friend, it is unspeakably early for a Sunday morning.”

“It’s eleven o’clock.” Harry was staring straight ahead at the wall, looking at nothing while he sipped his beer. His features were pinched, like when he was doing sums in the office in his head, and his voice was clipped and tight, “I panicked when I couldn’t find Hoyt.”

“He was safe with me.” Todd answered as though my brother hadn’t just caught us fucking in the hot tub, and sat down on the love seat so that he could face Harry. I wasn’t sure what to do, but when Todd tapped the space next to him, I collapsed into it and sighed when he gathered me to his side. I wrapped an arm around his furry abdomen quickly.

“So I see.” Harry turned to me, his eyes hard, “And why the fuck didn’t you call? Everyone has been worried sick about you and you could care less obviously! It was a bloody shitty thing to do Hoyt.”

“I…” I started the sentence but Todd cut me off.

“Don’t talk to him like that. He’s safe, now you know. Don’t make him feel bad for things he can’t change.” My bear’s arm tightened around my shoulders, possessive.

“Jesus!” Harry got up, pacing, “And when the fuck did this all happen? Last time I checked you were fucking pissed off the guy.”

“A few weeks.” I picked the time in my head that Mato had first had me creaming in my shorts in the woods. It was sort-of dating. “We worked it out.”

“And why didn’t you tell me?” Harry’s voice was tight and angry again, “How can I protect you if I don’t even know what you’re doing? I don’t know about this Hoyt, you should be with someone your own age.”

“Harry!” I gasped at my brother’s words. Todd was his friend, it wasn’t as though he’d caught me with a random stranger.

“He’s not your responsibility anymore,” Todd stood to face Harry, bigger, taller and a hell of a lot more intimidating even if he was only wearing a towel, “He’s mine. I love him.”

“Yours?” Harry stared at me, “He’s your… what? Boyfriend?”

“Something like that,” I grinned, pleased that I hadn’t stuttered, “Partner?”

“Yeah babe,” Todd reaches back to the sofa and grabs my arm, pulling me to his side. He stroked my face gently, the pad of his thumb on my lower lip, “Sounds good to me Boy.”

“Hoyt?” Harry gaped at me.

“I love him.”

“Right…” Harry seemed totally thrown, “I have to get back to the Lodge, let everyone know you’re OK. You come back for late lunch yeah?”

“Sure thing Bro.” I saw Harry off, watching him begin to jog down the path, and I had sort of forgotten that I was only wearing a towel, until Todd came up behind me and scooped me up, somehow removing the towel at the same time. “Hey!”

“Now where were we?”

*

It was nearly two o’clock when I kissed Todd goodbye at the footbridge across the Athabasca and headed towards Alpine Lodge. I had never really thought of the site as home, and now my heart tugged to turn around go back to Todd and the cabin in the woods where we have made love all morning. Todd was insatiable, and I wasn’t much better at resisting temptation. Just as I stepped off the bridge I turned to see the dark shape of Mato watching me from the treeline. I waved and his mumbling roar floated over the river. My bear was waiting for me.

I kicked Harry’s crossed ankles off the fence that ran around the main office and plopped into the other chair, taking his place to put my feet up. He glared at me as I leant back, wincing at the sharp way I’d dropped into the chair. I wanted to seem carefree in my happiness, but my butt hurt. Harry looked as is if his puppy had just run away.

“Harry?” When I didn’t get a response I sat forwards and tapped his arm, “What’s wrong? Todd’s your friend, I’d thought you might at least be happy for me.”

“I don’t get it Hoyt,” Harry was watching me with wary eyes, “You said you hated him, then you were upset as all hell because it wasn’t serious and now you’re in love with the guy. Do you even know what you want?”

I considered my answer. Twenty four hours ago my answer would have most definitely been a ‘no’: Mato had made me come, I’d told him I loved him and he’d run away, and things with Todd had been steamy but good and then I’d done and discovered that he and Mato were the same… person. Today, the only thing that had changed was mind blowing sex and the strong, fire brand hot declaration that the bear I loved wanted me back, loved me and wanted me to be his. I rubbed my hand over the dark love bit on my neck and grinned.

“Yeah. I know what I want.”

“You’re nineteen. No teenager knows what they want.”

“I love him Harry. I want to be with him. He wants me to live with him.”

“No way.”

“Who died and made you king?” I tried to grab my words out of the air as soon as I’d spoken them, the fast flash of pain across Harry’s face was like a knife in my chest, “Harry I’m s-!”

“Save it Hoyt.” My older brother got up, dismissive and visibly angry, “I’m just trying to protect you from yourself. It’s too fast, you’re not in control of this situation. But obviously you don’t feel you need me anymore. Don’t come crying when he kicks you out. Bye.” Harry walked away from the office without a backwards glance.

I sat there feeling pissed off and frustrated. Harry had always walked off when he didn’t get his own way, effectively cutting off all forms of conversation by removing himself from the situation. As a young boy I’d witness his teenage rows with our parents. He’d storm off every time, up to his room, then when he was older and more confident, out of the house with slamming doors and scowls. He always came back, sometimes after a few hours, once a day, and all problems were resolved or forgotten. It was his way.

I was sick of Harry getting his way because he was older than me. I followed the path my brother had taken and arrived at his house in time to find Gail ripping him a new one, standing in the kitchen slicing peaches.

“I cannot believe you said that to him! Boys,” she rolled her eyes, “You two are so perfectly stupid sometimes. He’s your little brother Harry. Little being the operative word here.”

“But-!”

“Oh don’t ‘but’ me mister,” Gail pointed the little paring knife at him before she turned back to her fruit, “You go back out there and apologise to him. As though being nineteen and in love isn’t hard enough already. You were only twenty when we met so don’t go being all high and mighty.”

“Babe…” The pleading tactic.

“No!” Gail gestured to the French doors where I saw standing, “Get out and find him before he refuses to ever speak to you again…oh,” her anger subsided enough for her to see me, “Hi there Hoyt. Harry tells me you and Todd Maxen are in love.”

“Yes.” I knew me grin was bigger than my face.

“Good for you kiddo. You deserve a good man. Didn’t think he was so much your type though.” I remembered that conversation, when Gail and I had discussed what kind of guys we liked. Harry had turned bright red.

“Tastes change. He’s perfect.”

“Oh honey,” Gail laid down her knife and wiped her sticky fingers on her apron, “No man is perfect, unfortunately,” she glared at Harry quickly, “Harry said something about Todd wanting you to move in with him.”

I nodded.

“Well I’m not going to say you can’t, you’re a free agent after all Hoyt,” Gail smiled, and not for the first time I understood why her family needed her on the site to play mother, “But all relationship start out great, all hot and warm and in love. Some last, some don’t. I hope that you and Todd will last,” I opened my mouth to protest, “Twelve weeks until your birthday right?”

“Uh,” I did some quick mental arithmetic, “Yeah?”

“Wait until then.”

“Why?”

Gail walked around the kitchen counter and put her hand on my shoulder.

“Because in three months I hope you’ll still feel this fire. And if you do then you’ll know, I mean really know, if it’s the right thing to do.”

“Um…” in the back of my brain, I knew what she said made sense, but it wasn’t every day that a supernatural creature revealed himself to you and then asked you to stay with him forever.

“Until then why don’t you invite your new boyfriend round for dinner and I’ll finish up this cobbler. That alright with you dear?”

Harry nodded mutely. A man always knows when he’s been beaten.

“Yes dear.”

“And Hoyt?”

“Yes Gail?”

“Brush your hair and change your clothes sweetie. Men are very visual creatures.” Harry and I both went bright red at her words and I darted out of my brother’s house before I could turn into an embarrassed puddle on the floor.

*

“Mato!” I called out to my bear as I crossed the beach and started up the path towards our favourite clearing, “Mato!”

“Wruf?”

I turned to see the big black-grey mass of him waiting for me next to a particularly tiny pine tree, green and new. I ran to him and giggled as he wrapped himself around me and rolled backwards to sit me on his big chest.

“Missed you.” I ran my fingers through his fur and stroked his ruff, “Gail sorted out Harry. He was being an ass.”

“Wroal rhom,” Mato craned his neck to lick my forearm with his super pink tongue, “Brroal?”

I thought about explaining to Mato that I didn’t speak bear, but I figured that I’d learn soon enough.

“We have to go over for dinner with them. Like civilised sit-down food.” Mato made a soft snuffling noise which I gathered was laughing. I stroked the black line down his muzzle between the brown patches, “And I will be presenting the other version of my partner, thank you. I think this much bear might be a bit much for them to cope with.”

“Rhum hum.”

“Indeed,” I ran my hands up his face and scritched behind his ears, “We got time until then though right?” As Mato growled his approval of my suggestion, it occurred to me that we were lying at the side of a popular walking path, perfectly visible to anyone who happened to come around the corner. I slipped from the grip of my bear and together we walked through the woods until we came to clearing behind Todd’s house, where nature rose up to meet the lovely cabin with all of its modern conveniences. The place I wanted to call home.

“Babe…” I purred as I stroked his fur and Mato stood upright. There was now familiar glow, and Todd grinned at me, naked and beautiful in the sun, his thick member already filling out between his thighs. I ran a finger boldly over the mark I’d left on his neck.

“Does that look mean what I think it means?”

“Fuck me like you mean it?” I grinned like a teenager.

“Oh Boy,” Todd’s voice was a rumble, “You are gonna be the death of me.” Todd reached out to grab me but I twisted away from him, making him slip. Todd growled as he stalked me across the lawn.

I had brushed my hair, made it neat, with a side parting and everything, and changed my clothes for a loose button down shirt and light cotton shorts. I liked what Gail had sad about men being very visual creatures. Mato liked to watch, I figured that seeing me in pleasure could probably only be beaten by seeing me pleasure him. Todd grabbed for me again, caught my shirt at the back of the neck and I twisted and ducked, removing myself from the garment which left me kneeling at his feet. I wet my lips, then took the flared head of his cock into my mouth before I could stop and over analyse the situation. My inner voice was obviously gagged by sex.

“Fucking hell Hoyt…” I hummed my approval for Todd’s wondering tone as I licked at the head of his member. I took another inch into my mouth, making sure I got it nice and wet. I put my hands on his hips, and focused on my task, making sure I knelt nice and neatly, back straight, bum out, and looked up at him as I sank further onto his cock.

“You look so fucking good with your lips around my cock.”

I kept my gaze locked on his as I worked my way slowly along his thick meaty hard on, taking as much as I could before my throat closed and made me feel like throwing up. But I wanted him to be happy, his eyes were big and dilated and his chest heaved with desire. I ran my fingers over the furry muscles of his abdomen and lower back and made sure to purr again when he pushed a big hand through my hair. I hoped my eyes showed my smile. I wanted to come to him as a neatly put together boy and finish looking thoroughly fucked. I wanted to wear his marks, however impermanent, and be his. Todd’s hips were jerking in my hands and in cock seemed ever thicker in my mouth as I did my bed to swallow the whole of him down my throat. I used my hands to get at what my mouth couldn’t reach and made sure to run my tongue across the slit every chance I got. He was panting now, his words almost incomprehensible, and my own small cock was leaking so much that I was sure the fabric of my shorts, no underwear, was clear with the wetness of my pulsing erection.

“Hoyt…” I ignored the growled warning and pressed on, “Fuck, Hoyt…” I purred, “Jesus I’m gonna-!” Todd never got to last word because he roared, his hips snapped forwards and his cock expanded in my mouth, pumping his cum down my throat. Men are visual creatures… I pulled back slightly so that just the head of his cock remained in my mouth, swallowed then open wide, keeping my gaze locked on his so that I could watch him as he unloaded a few more jets of thick cream over my tongue. “Bloody hell… you might just be the sexiest thing in the universe Boy.”

I swallowed, licked clean the head of my bear’s fantastic cock and smiled. He tasted fantastic

“I did good?”

In reply Todd reached down, grabbed me under the arms and hauled my up into the air, forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist as I clung on. He carried me to the stump where he usually chopped logs and sat down, his big hands on my arse, keeping me in his lap. Already I could feel his thick cock twitching again and growing hard underneath me.

“You’re the sexiest thing alive Hoyt. You know that?” I blushed crimson at his words and distracted myself by running my hands through his hair, “Now you still want me to ‘fuck you like I mean it’ babe? Because boy do I mean it. I love you.” Todd titled my jaw up and kissed me. I open up for him automatically, wanting the taste and scent of him all over me, letting him ravage my mouth. His thick fingers work over my cock, gathering all my slick sticky juices, smearing them on his own erection. I moan into his mouth as he pushes the blunt head of his cock around my little pink entrance.

“Please Todd…” I can barely believe that I’m begging for it after I sucked him off so cunningly just before. I thought I had the upper hand, I was wrong.

Todd snarled, bucked his hips, pressing his thick girth into me, and clamped down on my shoulder as I cry out, combined pleasure and pain making me dizzy. He worked lips, teeth and tongue over my skin, pulling up a big dark bruise as his heavy cock began to saw in and out of me, dragging across my prostate and making me twitch and shiver.

“I love you pretty boy,” Todd lets go of my skin and whispers the words into my neck between nips and kisses. His hands hold me against him, one fist in my hair keeping my neck available to him as he thrusts slowly. Its torture and its fucking brilliant, and I can barely think let alone speak. I dug my finger nails into his back as I came. Todd continued his deep slow fucking, my cock rubbing between us as he grazed the sweet spot inside me with every thrust. I was gasping and moaning, completely unaware that I was being fucked into oblivion outside, my voice and Todd’s low growls no doubt carrying through the woods. I wanted to stay like this forever.

Todd made sure to look in my eyes as he came, filling me up with wet heat that made my toes curl as I followed him off the ledge of my own orgasm. Neither of us spoke, but I could read everything in Todd’s deep honey eyes. He and Mato were exactly the same person, and he loved me more than I thought possible. And way more than I thought I deserved.

“Hoyt…” Todd growled, “You’re perfect, never doubt it.”

“I swear you can see inside my head.” I kissed him, mostly to break the intensity of his gaze. I felt like he was reading things right off my soul.

“Well I’m a good listener.”

“I would never have told you all that stuff…” I sighed against Todd’s skin.

“I’m glad you did,” Todd stroked the back of my head, “We wouldn’t have gotten to know each other quite the same way.” Todd shifted his weight releasing my sore hole from his cock, and settled me firmly on his lap, “I want you here with me all the time.”

“Me too.” I frowned, “But I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Gail is making us wait until my birthday.”

“My boy has a birthday coming up?” Todd’s grin was salacious, “How wonderful. At least I’ll have plenty of time to plan your present.”

*

Harry managed to be almost normal at dinner, Gail was her usual polite and friendly self. It felt good to have Todd sitting next to me and holding my hand. He actually touched me all the time, fingers on the nape of my neck, kisses on my jaw and collarbones and wrists, a quick hand on my butt when no one was looking. I could tell that it made Harry uncomfortable, but I didn’t care.

That first night without him I tossed and turned and tried to think of anything but the feel of Todd against my skin. We’d fucked all day, and again quickly in my cabin before he’d gone back across the river, but I couldn’t get him out of my head. I didn’t like our imposed separation, but Todd has said it wasn’t worth worrying over. We had the whole future, I only had to keep Gail and Harry happy a few weeks.

Which didn’t mean that I couldn’t sleep over ever. Thank god. Over the next week we established a new routine. If I’d slept at Todd’s I would high tail it back over the bridge for morning duties, cleaning cabins and fixings things. Every lunch I would dash back across the river. Sometimes it was as it had been before, hanging out with Mato, exploring the wilderness: sometimes Todd and I screwed in clearings in the middle of nowhere. Harry insisted that I came home in the afternoons and he started giving me re-cap driving lessons, letting me borrow one of the trucks and go into town for more and more little trips. All of those ended in detours to see my man. I spent every evening with Todd.

Sometimes we would come over to Alpine Lodge and we would snuggle up in my tiny cabin, but there was much less to do. More often we went to his house. Todd taught me how to chop wood and skin rabbits, he caught lots of things in the wild for our dinners, how to build a decent fire and how to cook. He showed me carvings he had done or started, showed me how to use the tools, fine blades and little awls, to reveal the pictures waiting in the wood. He still had work, and I loved to watch him chop down trees with his big axe, terrified when he used the chainsaw that he would slip and damage himself. We touched constantly. Todd taught me lots of things without words; how to give the world’s best blow jobs and deep throat his impressive cock without choking, where to touch and lick and kiss. He taught me that I liked massages when I was tired, and loved being rimmed at any time of day. We had sex everywhere, all over the house, between rooms, on the decking, on the lawn and in the hot tub. On the kitchen counters when making lunch became a mission to get naked first.

I missed not sleeping with him. I stayed over pretty much every weekend, and those two nights I would sleep so much better than any other night. Todd slept better too he told me. Sometimes we slept outside, on a blanket under the stars as the weather warmed up, and I would find myself pillowed on my bear, soft and fluffy, and would burrow into Mato’s fur like a giant blanket. I grew to love him more every single day.

The week before my birthday Todd came out for dinner with Harry and Gail and me. We went for a movie and I snuggled against him the entire time, not paying much attention to the film, though the music was nice, without ending up cowering in a bathroom for half the film. It was great. Gail and Harry asked me what I wanted for my birthday, but before I could reply Todd spoke up.

“I was sort of planning to take Hoyt on a little trip. You know, ta celebrate.”

I beamed.

“Well er…” Harry looked flustered, as though he should somehow object, “If Hoyt wants to I suppose its fine.” I saw Gail give his hand a little squeeze.

“Where are we going?” I squeezed my bear’s big shoulder and gave him my best ‘I’ll put out later’ smile. As though I wouldn’t screw him blind anyways.

“Surprise pretty boy. You’ll just have to wait and see.”

I hate waiting.

*

Harry insisted that I stayed home the night before my birthday. It was having a really hard time calling Alpine Lodge ‘home’, especially now with so much to look forwards too. Todd had told me to pack for a few days in the woods. Knowing him, that meant several changes of clothes and no underwear. I packed a duffel with my things, four pairs of shorts, one denim, two cotton and one combat, a big handful of t-shirts and a my wash kit, and grabbed a couple of paperback books as well just in case. I waited nervously, sitting by the door of my little cabin, fiddling with the laces of my hiking boots. The damn things had started this whole mess, so I’d decided they were the best things to bring with me. While I loved walking in the woods with Todd and Mato, he was bigger than me and bad shoes did my feet no good. I was lucky my all-stars had clunked out when they did.

“Hoyt?”

“Hey,” Harry was waiting for me at the turn where my view of the main campsite vanished.

“Happy birthday little brother.”

I jumped up, grabbing my bag and walked over to where he stood. I was always going to be little compared to my older brother, but Todd made him look short. I grinned like an idiot.

“Your present’s waiting for you.”

I cocked my head at him as Harry wrapped a big arm around my shoulders.

“I damn hope that Gail was right about the colour.”

“What have you done now Harry?” I walked with my brother towards his house as he pushed something plastic and metal and pointy into my hand. “What…? The fuck! Harry! Dude!”

Sitting next to my brother’s truck was the biggest Dodge Ram I had ever seen. I had to double check that the things Harry had handed me were the keys. The truck was huge, and black with yellow racing stripes and air scoops on the hood.

“You like it?” Harry grinned as I abandoned him and my duffel to run up to the truck. I had to stand on the wheel to look into the cab.

“I love it!” I turned to my brother, “But Harry this is a fifty thousand dollar truck.”

“Duh.”

“Are you sure?”

“You are surprisingly cheap to keep,” Gail grinned as she came around the back of my new truck, carrying a big cooler, “Have fun on your trip Hoyt.”

“Todd is waiting for you at his house. Happy birthday bud.”

I threw my duffel into the back of the cab, stashed the cooler in the flatbed of the pick up and started the engine. The Dodge sounded like Mato when he roared. I knew I was grinning like I’d just gotten laid and I pulled the truck out of the site as hard and fast as I could. I loved my present, and like every kid with a new toy, I couldn’t wait to show it off. I drove around to the big bridge over the river and crunched and squealed my way around to pull up next to Todd’s working pick up. I abandoned the truck and sprinted to the house.

“Todd!”

“Hey babe,” Todd was pulling on another of his red checked lumberjack shirts. I stared slack jawed and the fantastic beauty of his muscled, furred chest. Every time… How did I get this fucking lucky? I can’t believe I didn’t see that he was beautiful. “You ready to go?”

“Uh… Yeah,” I shook myself, my cock decided to make wearing thin cotton shorts awkward, “Harry and Gail bought me a truck!”

“I know. You like it?”

“Yeah!” I wrapped myself around my partner and tried to resist the urge to knock him to the grass and strip him naked, “So where are we going?”

“Surprise. You driving?”

“Yes!”

*

We headed along the trans-Canada highway until we turned north. I focused on driving and didn’t really pay too much attention to which roads we were on. Todd wouldn’t tell me where we were going, only that it was a surprise, and that we kept on heading north-ish, and out of Alberta and into BC. Every time I let my mind wander, I felt my cock twitch and leak in my shorts. It was my birthday, I was twenty, I had a truck, freedom, and the blessing to move in with my partner. Todd was sitting next to me, his big arm warm and heavy across my shoulders, heat and lust radiating off him. When we’d been on the road about two hours Todd gestured to a little side cut and I drove off the highway and into a little rest stop. It was obviously not our destination, so I pulled over, killed the engine and frowned at my bear.

“I thought you could do with a little break there babe.”

“I’m OK.” I followed the line of Todd’s gaze to where my jerking, leaking cock had turned my shorts basically see-through. “Oh…”

“Come here babe,” Todd reached out for me and I reluctantly let go of the steering wheel as he lifted me to straddle his lap, “Let me take care of that for you.”

There is something deeply, deeply good about kneeling over your boyfriend while he gives you a mind numbing blowjob in the cab of your new birthday-present pick up when you know that no one from your family is going to walk in and catch you. Over the last twelve weeks Todd had found all my weak spots, and used every single one of them to make me groan and writhe in his arms as he hollowed his cheeks and played his tongue along the base of my erection where the glans melted into the shaft. I curled over his head, clinging to his back and shoulders, keening my pleasure into his thick dark hair.

My shorts were ruined, big surprise there, and I pulled on a denim pair from my duffel before we set off again. Todd and I swapped and I snuggled up to his side as he drove. He still wouldn’t tell me where we were going. Just north and west, and I was OK with that. As we drove every now and then I would press my hands over his chest and abdomen more purposefully, but Todd growled that groping while driving might end badly, so I stopped.

After another hour or so we pulled off the main road, took a single gravel track for maybe twenty miles before coming to what looked to be an abandoned campsite.

“Where the hell are we?”

“Not far from the Kitimat River, babe.” Todd parked up and put the truck in neutral, “We’re here.”

I jumped down from the truck and scanned the empty field. The river was close, I could hear the water pounding over the falls.

“But there’s nothing here.”

“It’s salmon run season.” Todd shrugged and I stared at him in a total lack of comprehension. “And so bears go to catch salmon?” Again I looked at him blankly, “I brought you to meet my family.”

“But you said your mother…”

“My father’s family,” Todd wrapped an arm around me, “Bear genes get passed through the male line. We come up every year for the salmon run and I wanted him to meet you…” Todd faltered. I’d never seen him go all shy before, “I probably should have told you.”

I hated seeing him look worried, and wrapped my arms instantly around his chest.

“It’s fine. It’s sweet of you. After all you’ve met all of my family.” I turned over what Todd had told me in my head, “So they are all bears then?”

“Yeah.”

There was a snarling in the near distance.

“Oh god. Are they going to like me babe?”

“I’m sure they will Boy. Just be yourself.”

Todd stayed human as we left the truck standing in the field and we walked hand in hand to the tree line. There were rocks and boulders stuck into the roots of the twisted pines that laid the way down towards the river. There were many parts of Kitimat that were fished by humans, but I safely assumed that this wasn’t one of them. I yelped when a rock turned under my foot and I could tell that Todd was would have been much more comfortable descending the slope of all fours. I wanted to encourage him, but I was selfish. I was meeting his family for the first time, and I really wanted to be able to understand what he said about me. It took us about twenty minutes before the low rumbling of the river was thick was snarls and roars, splashes and the sounds of fish and fun. Todd hurried, I could tell from his grip on my hand that he was excited, and I followed him. Too trusting, my inner voice scolded.

The scene that opened before me when we broke through the trees was amazing. The falls were a mass of mini falls and weirs, interspersed with big flat rocks, the broken winter homes of beavers, and bears. There were bears everywhere. They were black bears, but their colouring ranged from true black, through grey and browns, ones who were cinnamon all over like the patches on Mato’s muzzle that I adored, all the way through to a nearly whitish yellow. Bears fished, snapping salmon the size of my skinny torso straight out the water, flicking them to the shore with paws big as my head. They talked, a constant stream of low thrums and growls, soft whuffling noises and grumbles that made up the language Mato spoke, and at which I was completely rubbish.

When we came into view several bears raised their heads to look at us. I felt the stillness, the shock, and the staring. Todd was obviously recognised, but while I was comfortable with Mato, having nearly fifteen big bears staring at me was making me shiver. Todd wrapped his arm around my shoulders and raised his hand to a big very black bear who was heading towards us. He had the same cinnamon muzzle as Todd, but without the black stripe down the centre of his nose.

“Is that…?” I didn’t want to finish the sentence as the bear waded through the shallows and heaved himself up onto the rocks, dripping and imposing.

“Yeah, that’s my dad,” Todd squeezed my hand hard, “I promise everything’s going to be OK Hoyt.” Todd stepped forwards towards the huge bears as he came up to us and held out his hand. The bear who was his father sniffed at him and snorted, “Nice to see you too Dad. This is Hoyt,” he gestured to me, tugging me to his side, “I love him.”

The big bear seemed to shake all over, there was a white light, blindingly bright and then Todd’s father stood before us. He looked like a bigger, older, thicker set version of Todd; giant shoulders and big muscles, thick black hair everywhere. He was slightly soft and cubby around the waist, and his hair was slightly greying: the fact that he was dripping wet and naked did not escape me.

“What are you still doing looking like that boy?” Todd’s father voice is huge and booming, “Dive in and get fishing. You’re late anyway.”

“Dad…” I have never heard Todd sound frustrated before, “Can you please pay attention to the fact that I brought the man I love to meet you?”

Todd’s father turned and glared at me. The biggest difference between him and his son was obvious then, because the older bear’s eyes were so dark as to be practically black. I didn’t want to cower, and I didn’t want to stutter. Like you’ll manage not to do both… So I stuck my hand out and grinned it the way that Harry did when he was scared, like when he’d introduced Gail to our parents, and with my thousand watt smile on I stepped forwards.

“Hi I’m Hoyt Ford!”

“So I see.” And with that I was dismissed. The big man turned from me, shifted and then the great bear growled something at his son and then walked off back to the water.

“Oh…”

“Babe,” Todd hugged me, “He’ll come around. I need to go fish though.”

I snivelled.

“Oh babe,” Todd hugged me close, “We can go check into a hotel if you want. I’m sorry, I thought he’d be happier.”

“No,” I desperately wanted to keep Todd with me and get out of here, but I could tell that he wanted to go and be with his family in the afternoon sun, “Go fish. I’ll wait here.”

“Sure?”

“Go on!” I pushed Todd away from me, lest I grab hold of him and never let go, and he gave me a smile and stripped out of his clothes. God he was sexy. There was a glow off gold, and then Mato shook himself down. He rubbed against me and I wanted to cling to his thick fur. I stroked the cinnamon patches on his muzzle and giggled when he licked my face. Then he turned to go down to the river.

I settled down crossed legged on the flat stones by the river to wait. Watching Mato move with the other bears was interesting. The sun came flat across from the horizon, all gold and yellow, and made the scene of the hunting bears look romantic and fun. Like something from a film. Mato growled and huffed at his father, but they rubbed against each other, a move that was also like a hug. Other bears greeted him, all colours and sizes as he moved about the group. Every few moments I would feel his eyes on me, keeping tabs on me from wherever he was.

My big dark grey bear set up standing in the shallows and I watched fascinated as he went about catching fish. Head low, he swung gently from side to side, dish ears tipped forwards, jaws open and ready. A silver salmon as long as my forearm leapt out of the water to his left. They were so fast, the fish so quick and slippery I had no idea how the bears were managing to catch them. Mato twisted his head and snapped his jaws, the big salmon trapped and thrashing between his teeth. He grinned at me and I clapped in delight. Mato chucked the salmon onto the bank and made good on a second. Soon there was a growing pile of fish near me.

“He’s always been a good hunter.”

I blinked away from my bear and turned to look at a big dripped naked man with fairly long brown hair. He grinned and sat down on the beach beside me with a big salmon in his hand.

“He’s amazing.”

“You never seen him fish before?” My new companions asked with a surprised arched brow. He had a small wide bladed knife as well as his fish, and lain the big salmon out in front of him.

“No. We don’t have any falls in the Athabasca. Not where we are anyways.” I swallowed, distracted from watching Mato fish by the swift gutting the brown haired man was doing on his big fish, “I’m Hoyt, by the way.”

“Darryl.” I shook his proffered hand, “I’m Todd’s cousin. Well, one of them.” He waved a big arm at the expanse of bears, “We’re all related, even if only distantly.” He turned his attention back to his fish for a minute, scraping out guts and spine and veins, “I see you met Sinjon.”

“Is that Todd’s father?” I asked quickly, and Darryl nodded, “Yeah. He doesn’t like me .”

“Nah. He’s like that with everybody.” I stared at Darryl and he sighed, “He doesn’t like what you mean,” Darryl explained, “We only ever tell the person that we plan to have children with what we are. Only true-mates are brought to the salmon run. You being here means that Sinjon has to accept that Todd’s being gay is not a temporary thing.”

“So he’s…out? Not out?”

“For somebody with such a big one, he’s crap at keeping secrets,” Darryl laughed, and the sound was good and warm, “We all knew pretty early on. Mostly because he didn’t slave over girls like we did. He and I went to the same high school,” he elaborated with a quick grin, “and pretty much everyone has come to accept that. It’s not totally unheard of. But Todd has no brothers, and his father had never been the most tolerant of bears.”

There was a splashing and harrumphing and Mato waded out of the water with a fish in his mouth. It was way bigger than Darryl’s and the man grimaced.

“You always have to do one better huh, Cus?” Darryl smacked my big bear playfully on the shoulder and Mato pushed him back with a paw, “Showing off for your boy?”

Mato growled low at Darryl. I reached out and threaded my hand into his thick fur, and then all his attention was on me. His eyes were so full of love that it took all my will power not to melt into a puddle on the ground.

“So I guess we’re having fish for dinner?” I asked slyly, “No fancy restaurants for me on my birthday.”

Mato put his head between his paws and whined, but Darryl hugged me and ruffled my hair.

“No way! Happy birthday little dude! How old are you?”

“Twenty.”

Darryl elbowed Mato.

“Cradle robber, he’s just a kid,” I elbowed Darryl in the ribs. Boys who get bought big trucks do not like being referred to as kids. “Ow! Well he’s sure feisty! You wanna help me get the fire started Hoyt?” Darryl’s smile was sort of infectious, “You coming too bud?”

“Hurmm,” Mato swung his big head and nuzzled my soft flat stomach as I stood up. I swatted at his ears playfully and began to collect the fish from the pile he had made. Together, the three of us with armfuls of salmon made our way back up towards the campsite. We came out in a different place, and now I could see the shower block next to a little group of vehicles. I wanted to go get my big black and yellow Ram and park it up next to them, just to show off. From the size and build of Darryl and Todd’s father, I was pretty certain that I was going to be the littlest guy here by quite a big margin. We piled the fish onto the big picnic table which stood next to a stone fire pit. Mato rubbed his wet fur all over me and while Darryl began to clean up the fish we laughed and played like children. I didn’t care that my clothes were soaked, or that Darryl watched us with half an eye or that Todd’s dad didn’t like me. For several long minutes all that mattered was that I was with my bear, my big beautiful gorgeous fluffy bear, rolling around in the grass. Mato pressed his head to my chest and thrummed with a bass note that made my heart vibrate. I figured I had probably ruined another pair of shorts, I was going to have to wash them in the river pretty quick. Mato glowed, and then Todd had me in his arms, pulling up my shirt and kissing my belly until I squirmed.

“Jesus dude!” Darryl hit Todd in the back of the head with a ball of fabric, “Put that damn thing away before you poke someone’s eye out!” He was grinning. Darryl had found some shorts from one of the vehicles, I assumed they were his, and pulled on a pair almost identical to the ones he’d given to Todd. My man looked good in Aussie style board shorts.

“Go get your truck babe. My birthday present is in the back.” Todd kissed me hard as he pulled me up, then smacked my arse as I turned to go. I was almost out of earshot when I heard Darryl say;

“He’s a plucky little fucker I’ll give you that.”

I grinned to myself, and jogged across the field to get my new Dodge pickup. When I got out of sight of the main part of the camp I saw a bear, the only one that was practically white, sniffing at my cab.

“Hey!” He turned to look at me and I was surprised to see that he had really blue eyes. I slowed as I got nearer to the bear. He sure looked like a bear, and surely no regular wild bear would hang around with… whatever Todd and his people called themselves. Next thing I knew the bear had morphed, but without light, and a pale boy had leapt on me, his arms wrapping around my ribs as he shouted something indecipherable. “Erm…”

“Sorry! Sorry!” He backed off and I was surprised to see that while he was taller and bigger than me, it wasn’t by as much as I’d first thought. He looked about fifteen, eager smile and the kind of skinny but chiselled physic I’d used to find mouth-wateringly attractive, “I can’t believe he actually did it! It’s so cool! How did you guys meet? When did he tell you about being a bear? What did-!”

I held up a hand to stop him.

“Wait up…”

“Oh god!” the skinnyish blond kid groaned and blushed like I did, “I’m sorry. I got really carried away. This your truck?”

“Yeah. It’s my birthday present.”

“Smells like you.” He stuck out his hand, still blushing, “I’m Kida. I’m Todd’s,” He paused for a second, “Dunno. I call him an uncle. My dad is one of his dad’s cousins.”

“Hoyt.” I smiled as I shook his hand, “Todd’s partner.”

“Yeah I know! You’ve got his scent all over you.” Kida’s eyes gleamed. Cheeky little fucker… “I so cannot believe he brought you here. Last year his dad told him he was getting old and had to find a proper mate to settle down with. We never believed he’d actually do it!”

“You have a problem with me being here?” I still couldn’t work out Kida’s excitement, but I knew I was never going to win in a fight with him.

“Oh hell no!” He dropped his big smile and then looked across at me from under the mess of his hair, “I think I might be…” he scuffed the grass with his foot, “Gay. OK, so I’m definitely gay. Todd has helped me loads.”

“Oh, cool. You want a ride over?”

Kida nodded excitedly and got into the passenger side of the cab. I tried not to notice that he was naked. Casual nudity with Todd was great, but… I had the feeling there was going to be a lot of nudity about generally while we were here. I drove my new truck over and Todd directed me to park it right up next to the picnic table. Kida hopped out straight away, babbling to Todd excitedly. I struggled out of my shorts, put on my other cotton pair, and climbed out.

“You wanna see your present babe?” I swear Kida actually squealed when Todd called me that. Wow, a gay bear who’s also a massive queen… who’d have thought it?

I hooked my fingers with Todd’s and grinned. Other ‘people’ were coming up from the river down that the sun was nearly down, carrying fish and fire wood. I had the urgent desire not to let go of Todd’s hand at all.

“Yes please.” Todd lead me around the back of my Dodge and opened the tail gate. Attached to side wall of the flat bed, swinging out on a big steel arm was, “A fucking freedom grill!” I bounced on the balls of my feet and threw my arms around his neck, “You’re the best!”

“Well damn if that isn’t gonna get me some,” Todd’s grin was enormous and I didn’t care who watched us as I kissed him hungrily, “Now we can cook anywhere babe.”

“We got a damn fire for that,” was suffixed with the sound of a massive armful of wood being dumped next to the fire pit. I jumped back as logs thick as my thighs threatened to bounce on my toes. I was not surprised to see Sinjon Maxen standing there, scowling at me like I was dirt on his shoe. Todd growled low, but Darryl laid a hand on his arm.

“Come on Cus, you caught the biggest fish, come away.”

I never thought I’d see Todd back down from a fight, but I was glad he did. Todd, Darryl and few others who I assumed were more cousins, all of them between their late twenties and early thirties, began to clean and gut the fish. I turned back to my new toy, accompanied by Kid who sat on the tail gate of my truck like he belonged there while I wrangled with the grill. Though Sinjon got his fire started quicker, my grill was hotter faster and Todd handed me a big armful of fish to fry and kissed me in front of everybody. I blushed horribly.

The assembled human shaped bears sat either at the table, or on folding chairs grabbed from the back of cars, a few on tail gates like mine, around the fire and the scent of cooking salmon. They are uniformly build big and generally hairy, and pretty much everyone is dressed in shorts. I feel silly wearing shoes and a t-shirt, but I don’t dare take them off, I do not look like these guys do. Even the older men who are a bit chubby or have beer bellies are still obviously physically fit. Of course, they don’t all look the same, but the fact that they are all related seems to help. There is an abundance of stubble. The sun is fully out and the stars are shining before I actually eat anything. I have been busy concentrating on the grill, making sure not to burn the fish, being friendly and helpful. You’re so fucking eager to be liked Hoyt, my inner voice admonishes my neediness, Man up already. Why do you care what they think?

I sit on my tail gate with Todd behind me and pick at my fish with my fingers. It’s go and fresh, but I am distracted by the rumble of Todd’s chest as he talks, the way his thick fingers play up and down my ribs while he sips his beer with the other hand, and the easy way all the bears are around each other. It’s so simple and the amount of love, perhaps not between Todd and his father, but between others; Kida’s dad is yellow-blond and hugs his sons like he loves him, Darryl knocks heads with Todd and their cousins like they were brothers… all that love makes me wish my own brother were here, that we were closer, saw eye to eye more often. It makes me miss my dad in a way I never realised I would, he was such a good man, always telling me he was proud of me. He hugged me when I told him I was gay and stroked my hair, told me he wanted me to be happy. I raise my hand to me face to find that I’m crying.

“Babe?” Todd’s voice is low and quiet in my ear and makes my heart ache, “You OK?”

I sniff and nod, wipe my eyes and look up to see Sinjon staring at me from across the fire, open disgust on his face. I look away and Darryl gives me a quick thumbs up before cuffing one of his many nephews for something stupid.

There is plenty of play around the fire. Kida is the youngest, the oldest of the bears in one everyone just calls ‘grandfather.’ He could be sixty, he could be eighty. Black hair gone grey, but that much mass of muscle and used-to-be-muscle makes it hard to tell his age. He takes his fish from the fire, and I don’t catch him looking at us, even though we are the only couple. Obviously all wives and girlfriends have been left behind for the ‘boy’s camp’ in the woods by the river. I wish that I thought I qualified as one of the guys. I drink soda, which even Kida doesn’t do, and I keep to myself. As the evening drifts on a lots of what I think of as ‘the dads’ begin to move away, putting up tents and generally clearing up and packing down which leaves us younger guys, the cousins, me, Kida and the few others our age to sit a little closer around the fire and talk. It doesn’t take long for the conversation to turn to Todd, and to me.

“So go on,” one of the cousins, and there are enough that i have forgotten their names, nudges another with an elbow, “How did you two meet then?”

Todd chuckles and sips his beer. I am still sitting on his lap, which means that no one can see the twitch of his heavy cock against my butt.

“You tell them babe.”

“R-really?” God you’re so pathetic when you stutter.

“Go on Hoyt.” Kida chides me gently. I like that he’s sitting next to me. He’s big, but not scary like some of the older bears. Even a few of the cousins look at me like I might be the next meal.

“He sniffed me in the woods.” I say, “And I got really freaked out obviously, but I was breaking in my new hiking boots so I kept going back. And there he was, waiting for me.” I got a few curious looks but ploughed on regardless, “We used to walk in the woods and roll around and stuff. Course I never put two and two together until he showed me.” I realise that everyone is gaping, still and silent. I turned to look up at Todd, “Um…”

Darryl is the first to swallow, then speak.

“You met him first… as a bear?”

“Yeah.” I keep my answer careful.

“Fucking hell Todd.” One of the cousins looked scared out of his wits, “Bloody big risk don’t ya think?”

“What if you’d gotten shot?” Another cousin, a bit older than Todd scowls, “Totally irresponsible of you. Your dad is not going to be happy.”

Todd arm around me tightens and I can feel his heart speed up against my shoulder.

“What my father thinks is none of your concern Travis.” His voice is low and tight, a proper growl, and I am glad that I can’t see his eyes, because the look in them is scaring other bears around the circle. Travis, big, bullishly built, visibly backed down.

“Sorry…”

“Humph.”

“I think it’s romantic,” Kida piped up and that made everyone laugh again and the conversation moved on. Darryl smacked Todd on the arm.

“Come on bud. Need to talk to you.” Todd got up from underneath me, leaving me sitting on the grass next to Kida. He kissed the top of my head and mumbled ‘back in a bit’ before walking into the dark with Darryl.

“Hey,” We were being ignored by pretty much everyone when Kida nudged me, “Let’s go find out what they’re saying.”

I wanted to say no… but I’m a teenage boy, and I was curious about what Todd’s cousin wanted to say to him. I figured it was about me, I wasn’t wrong. We snuck around the cars to the end of the shower block. Todd and Darryl were standing at the far end, furthest from the fire site. Todd looked pissed, his gestures quick and angry. We crept forwards until we could hear what they were saying.

“You nearly caused an all-out fight dude!” Darryl’s brows were drawn low and he sounded worried, “Why’d you go and challenge him like that?”

“He was such a dick.” Todd snarled when he spoke, “I wanna spend the rest of my life with the boy and Dad won’t even give him the time of day.”

“You need to be careful Cus.”

“Why? Everyone else seems to like him well enough,” Todd stopped short, “You do don’t you?”

“Todd… if the little guy makes you happy, I love him. He seems like a right little firecracker.” I found myself grinning like an idiot. “And hell if he can hold his own against you, then I’m sure no one else can give him jip.”

“Well Kida loves him.” Darryl was grinning now.

“No shit! I’m not so keen on all the touching though.” Todd grinned in that way which I knew meant that he was thinking about my arse, “I don’t like to share.”

“You never did. What are you gonna do with him all day tomorrow? You know your dad is going to want you in the river. You can’t just expect him to sit there and watch.”

“I hadn’t really thought about it.” Todd didn’t sound too pleased with himself, I was gripped by the urge to go and wrap my arms around him. I didn’t mind sitting around and watching bears fish. As much as I already disliked Sinjon, his approval obviously meant a lot to his only son. I couldn’t be mad with Todd for dragging me off to go be in the wild on my birthday.

You never think things through. Let’s go back Cus. We gotta build a tent and y’all know how I hate to do that.”

We scarpered back to the fire and got there a few moments before Todd and Darryl reappeared. No one said anything. I only felt very slightly guilty about spying on my man.

*

Building a tent turned out to be more or less painless because after I’d tried to do it upside down and nearly broken several of the poles, Todd sent me to go and sit with Darryl, who was similarly afflicted with what Todd called ‘an absolute lack of mother fucking sense’ while he put up the tents. Several of the bears, especially the older ones, had simply changed back into their fur to curl up and sleep under the stars, and I could tell that Todd kind of wanted to do the same. Todd set up our tent a bit away from the others and I couldn’t stop grinning as I watched him. I hadn’t slept in a tent since I was ten. I had the feeling that a decade later this was going to be a very different sort of night.

Todd and Darryl seemed to be in charge of the fire, so I crawled into the tent alone and lay on the soft but thin camp mattress my man had laid out for us. It was warm, so the blanket was more for artistic purposes, and I piled all my clothes neatly at the door of the tent before pulling the blanket over myself. I had no idea how I was going to be comfortable around these people, the bear-men of Todd’s family. Every single one of them was built like a brick shit-house in comparison to my soft and skinny form. Todd was going to spend the day tomorrow mucking about in the river, it was what the bears came here to do according to Kida, although it was only his second year at the run. The bears came to reconnect, to fish and hunt and show off, to remind each other that they were not alone. And I was going to spend the following day sitting on a rock being nervous about taking my shirt off.

Todd bumped my knee as he entered the tent, the long sound of the zippered door breaking the nearly silence. I reached out to him blindly and grabbed his hand, hampering his attempts to get out of his shorts.

“Babe?” His breath was hot and damp on my skin, sitting so close in the dark. I had no doubt that he could see my perfectly, “Hoyt why are you crying?”

“I’m not,” I sniffed and dragged my hand across my face.

“Hoyt…”

“Your father hates me.” It wasn’t the only reason I was crying, but it was one of them to be sure.

“Oh pretty boy…” Todd wrapped his arms around my shoulders and a moment later I was pulled into his lap, nuzzled against his broad chest. It was my favourite place, “I don’t care what my father thinks.”

“Yes you do.” I poked him, practically spraining my finger in the process, “I just wish I could be someone he approved of.”

“Catch a real big fish and you will be,” Todd tickled my sides, brushing tears away with his thumb, “Can’t have my birthday boy crying now can I?”

That made me smile. I reached for him and laid back, bringing him over the top of me, feeling his heavy thighs settling over my own. The mood is changed, I’m not longer upset, the voice in the back of my head having stopped babbling insecurities and settled down to simply humming in pleasure at the feeling of Todd working his way down my throat with open mouthed kisses. I purr underneath his fingers as he pulls the sheets aside and wraps a big hand around my shaft, jacking me slowly as he works down with his mouth. By the time he has licked a nipped a trail around my balls I am panting really hard.

“Ungh… fucking hell, Todd, please…”

I am spread out for him, my legs open wide and hitched over his shoulders as he breathes warm and moist onto the tender pucker of my arse.

“Please what Boy?” Todd’s voice has that dominant growl which once upon a really long time ago I thought odd and creepy which now drives me out of my mind with lust. I am only too happy to be his willing submissive right now.

“Please…” I am barely cognisant as he brushes me with one finger, “Please lick me.”

Todd does nothing by halves, and dives right in, his tongue magically opening me up, big fingers digging into the flesh of my butt, lifting and spreading to give his mouth better access. I whined and thrashed underneath him, wound a hand into his hair than bit my fist of keep from screaming in agonised pleasure as he added fingers to hit the bright spot that made my vision go blurry. Eventually he sat up with a grin.

“My boy likes his birthday present?”

I growled in response. Sex was this good all the time, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to take advantage.

“Want, your cock, now! I panted between the words, unable to fathom a whole sentence. My own dick was leaking in its usual fashion, I don’t think Todd and I had ever bought lube, and the feeling of being penetrated by fingers swathed in my own juices turned me on almost as much as what those fingers were doing. I was a shivering wreck under Todd’s ministrations.

“We should really be quiet…” He murmured softly.

I reach down, grabbed his hair and brought his lips up to mine as hard as I could.

“We should really be fucking,” I replied, “Need you, in me, right now- ahh!” Todd punctuated by sentence for me with the long push of his thick cock, not pausing or waiting but just driving on in until his heavy balls rested against my arse.

“That better?”

“Oh. God. Yes.” I exhaled as he pulled back, finding my legs around his hips, but arms tangled into his hair and shoulders, “Todd…”

He chuckled in my ear, sliding his thick length in and out, past the tight ring of muscle and across my prostate so that I nearly howled every time he did it. I was panting and moaning and calling his name, bucking up my hips to meet his thrusts until we were twins in panting sweats and shakes. The bulging muscles all along Todd’s arm tensed, I could feel his orgasm building and the change to quick, hard, earth shattering thrusts drove me right over the edge as he flooded me. I clung to him like a drowning man.

“Fuck…”

“I love you.”

“Love you Boy.” Todd fell on top of me in a tangle of limbs, then rolled to that I lay on his chest, “Happy birthday Hoyt.”

“Mmnh hum,” I replied sleepily. Unconsciousness dragged at us, a collection of limbs tangled together, and I fell asleep with his heart beat in my ear.

*

I sat on the flat rocks by the river in combat shorts and a sun-yellow t-shirt feeling self-conscious and purposeless. We hadn’t woken up properly until nearly midday, having woken up to have mind blowing sex another three times, and the knowing look Darryl had given me that morning along with Todd’s smug grin was enough to let me know that everyone had heard. I blushed crimson.

All the bears were fishing, or splashing about and swimming in the upper reaches of the river where their playing wouldn’t disturb the fish about to meet death. Kida had butted my spine with his huge white-blond head and given me a grin and a flick on an ear. He wanted me to go fish with him. I’d waved and stayed where I was. Mato started off pretty close to me, keeping to my side of the river, but I couldn’t blame my bear for wanting to play with his family. The growls, grunts and roars of the bears echoing along the river. Every now and then I caught Sinjon looking at me like I might make a good addition to the campfire, so I avoided meeting his gaze after that.

Early afternoon all the bears hauled themselves out of the river to sit in a big rough circle on the stones and eat raw fish in their fur. Mato was first out, with Darryl and Kida following, so the group built up around where I had sat with my book. Mato, soaking wet, rubbed himself all over me and sprayed water from his fur everywhere. I kissed his muzzle. There were glows of light from all around the circle as some bears became men, and I ended up in Todd’s lap. I liked it there.

“So this is all he’s for?” the big shape of Todd’s father peered at me with a snarl forming on his lips, “He just sits around looking bored like wallpaper?”

Todd snarled.

“Dad…”

“If you were going to go to all the trouble to become a faggot why couldn’t you at least fine a mate who was at least slightly useful?”

Before Todd could reply from his growl of anger, Darryl holding his shoulder, I leapt up from his lap and snapped.

“Fine!”

“Giving up so easily?” Sinjon looked smug and I realised that with me standing and him sitting, I was only just taller than him. “Looks like my son chose wrong.”

“Well you’d like that would you?” I spat. I could fell Todd standing up behind me, I whirled on him, “Oh no. You stay there. Not fucking useful.” I kicked the fish Sinjon had been eating away across the gravel, “I’ll just go catch a bigger fish than you then.”

I stepped out of the circle with my shoulders hunched. Right then I felt that the next person to touch me would get there head taken off for their trouble. Fully dressed, I splashed into the river. It was icy cold glacier run off and I wanted nothing more than to yelp as the sensation as my manhood shrunk in the chill water. I refused to give in. I was just as hard as any of them, fur or not.

I couldn’t blame Todd for wanting his father’s approval, and while I was fairly certain that I would never win this approval, I was sure as hell going to make sure the big oaf couldn’t just walk all over me again. Apparently catching the biggest fish was the way in, so that what I was just going to have to fucking do. I waded into the river to the point on the brow of the little rapids where Mato had been fishing and peered into the water. A moment later I was hit in the face by a massive flying salmon and knocked back underwater.

Completely soaked I got up and ran my fingers through my hair and out of my eyes. Boys with cute and floppy fringes obviously never had to try and catch salmon bare handed. I was aware that I was being laughed at. I stripped out of my wet t-shirt and threw it with a splat onto the bank.

“He’s skinny like a chicken.” One of the cousins joked and I saw Darryl slap the other man upside the head.

I knew nothing, absolutely one hundred percent fucking nothing about catching fish. Especially without a rod or a line, although I doubted I’d be any better trying it that way. I had watched Mato and the other bears fishing in between segments of my book, and they had just scanned the water and then snapped at the fish as they jumped out. Or batted them with their paws. Some of the fish had been bigger than my torso, longer than my legs. How I was going to catch a fish like that I had no idea. I shook off the knowledge that I was being watched and tried to concentrate on the river, the swirling water running over my feet and shins, cold around my ankles. A salmon, moderately sized, leapt for the rapids and I grabbed at him. Slippery and wet and cold he wriggled away, but dropped back down into the water. He hadn’t made it up the falls, so he’d have to try again. I waited.

A flash of silver and I grabbed, tightening my grip as hard as I could around the thinner part of the salmon near the tail. He struggled and wriggled in my hands, desperately trying to get back into the water. For about a third of a second I actually felt sorry for the poor bastard. Then I whacked his skull on a rock which poked out of the water before I threw the fish to the bank.

The dead salmon skidded to a wide eyed halt where Sinjon stood, with the other bears watching me with his shoulders high and angry. His thick fur rippled.

“There’s your fucking fish!” I spat, and then, emboldened by the fact that I was not standing within easy reach at least right at this second I snarled, “I love your son. Get off whatever high horse you think you’re standing on.” Before turning back to the river.

Chaos erupted behind me. Snapping, snarling, the heavy thuds of two half-ton bears colliding with each other. I didn’t turn to look. Mato was the best bear I knew, of course he would be OK. I caught the next fish that sprung out of the water at my feet and when I threw it towards the bank, Mato caught it in his mouth. He grinned. The bank was a mix of bears and men, most of them staring at me in something halfway between shock and awe and horrified surprise. Whatever fight Sinjon had had with his son was over. He looked pissed off, pacing by the edge of the water, and I was surprised when the first person to speak was one of the cousin’s whose name I hadn’t even tried to remember.

“Well would you fucking look at that. Skinny little bit would make a great bear.” And to top off that sentence, another massive salmon jumped up and slammed into my shoulder, knocking me into the river.

I was hauled out by the cousin who had spoken, naked and wearing skin, his big hand wrapped around my own.

“You’re a plucky little son of a gun you know that?”

“T-thanks,” I spluttered, wiping iced water from my eyes. Mato had dropped his fish an come running through the water, his warm wet fur pressing against my back, “Hey Mato.”

“Hurnt?”

“Nah, I’m OK.” I finger combed my hair out of my eyes again, “I gotta get one of those big fish though.”

Ten minutes later most of the younger bears were in the river with me wearing their skin. Darryl had jogged back up to the campsite to get shorts for people so that I wasn’t the only one dressed, again, and the air was thick with laughter while we caught fish, missed fish and pushed each other in the water. We all lost a lot more fish, humans were not as good at hunting with hands as bears were, that much was obvious, but no one seemed to mind much. Mato had stayed himself, though I was finding it harder and harder to draw a line between Mato and Todd. It seemed to have nothing to do with shape and fur, more a feeling. Sometimes the big bear with the cinnamon muzzle would pressed at my shoulders and it would be Todd with a gleam in his eye wanting to get into my pants again. Sometimes it would be Mato rubbing his fur against me, showing everyone that he was proud of me, the boy who could catch fish.

By the time the sun started to sink and glow gold along the horizon we had lots of fish and everyone was out of breath.

“I don’t think I’ve fished like that since I was a kid!” Darryl was panting and laughing, his eyes bright and smiling, “Good call Hoyt.”

“Yeah,” Kida yawned as he scooped up three salmon in each hand, “That was the best. I can’t believe you did it. So brave.”

I ruined my whole new image by shrieking like a girl when Todd put his muzzle to the crack of my arse in my wet shorts and goosed me.

“Oh get off you big thing!”

Mato pushed his head between my legs again and then suddenly somehow I was sitting astride his shoulders, fingers tangled in his fur as he paced up the hillside with me on his back. I laughed the whole way.

We cooked all the fish that night on my big silver grill attached to my outlandish black and yellow truck while Kida made everyone cook marshmallows over the fire. I didn’t put a shirt on at all, and I didn’t feel too bad about it, even though a few of the older bears commented with odd interest on my small stature and my softness. Todd and Mato switched back and forth so many times I nearly didn’t keep up with him at all. We touched all the time, and I was half hard all evening. I gave the second biggest fish I’d caught to Sinjon and the big man had the good grace or sense to nod and smile very slightly. He was never going to like me, but at least now he respected me.

We slept in the tent, got up at the crack of dawn to watch the sun coming up. Me cuddled against Mato’s thick fur, wrapped in his warmth in a little sea of multi-coloured bears and we all watched the light come up over the world. Fish that had been left to smoke overnight were shared and handed out, and then it was first out and last in. Kida hugged me and begged Todd to let him come and visit soon. Darryl wrapped an arm around my shoulder and growled that I’d better take good care of his favourite cousin. I drove.

*

It was still the afternoon when we got back, so I drove my new truck to Alpine Lodge and collected the rest of my stuff, which really wasn’t much, books and computer, some music. Todd got up into the driver’s seat when we got back to my new Ram, so I let him drive. When he took the route out of town and away from the cabin in the woods I frowned at him. But apparently there was another surprise. I sighed, still wearing combat shorts and a wrinkled t-shirt, but didn’t complain.

I liked watching Todd drive my truck, mostly because I could stare at him all I liked. The big rounded curves of his arm, the sexy ridges of his torso, the way his thick black hair delineated everything and made him more real and sexy than anything I’d ever known.

Todd pulled up the Dodge in the lot outside the mini-mall in central Edmonton and grinned at me. My truck looked huge and rugged next to the sleek cars it was parked next to.

“So what’s my surprise?” I asked as we got out.

“This way.”

Todd held my hand tight in his own as we walked through the little mall, getting stared at. We were both just in crumpled shorts and wrinkled t-shirts. Me and my water stained hiking boots. I had the feeling they weren’t going to live too long having been in the icy Kitimat for half a day. We ended up outside a fancy jewellers. I barely had time to gap at the number of noughts in the window before Todd had dragged me inside, deaf to my protests. Even haphazardly dressed, Todd was still very recognisable. A little wrinkly man with a shock of white hair a pince-nez waved to us from the back of the store.

“Mr Maxen! I have your order all ready. I thought you’d been in for it before the weekend?”

“Change of plans.” Todd grinned at me, “This is Hoyt Ford. Hopefully he’ll be wearing the ring.”

I stared at Todd, utterly speechless, not hearing anything that the jeweller or my bear said to each other as we stood at the counter at the back of the shop. A little brown leather box was placed in front of me.

You said forever and meant it, my inner voice said, You thought that he wasn’t as serious as you?

“But… Todd… babe…”

“Here.” Todd takes my left hand and then takes the ring from the jeweller. The ring in my hand is beautiful. Gold, like super gold, like the sun. I turn it round in my fingers, the shape soft and smooth, with no edges at all. There’s a flash. Inlaid into the gold is a bright silver fish, just like the massive silver salmon we caught in the river. “You like it?”

I nodded, then sniffed, and found myself completely unable to say anything at all.

“Babe…” Todd wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest, my hand closing around the ring in my palm automatically. His heart thudded strong against my cheek, his bulging arms made my ribs creak, “I’m sorry babe, I wanted to show you that I meant it. I want to be with you forever. I should have asked you first.”

“No.” I fisted my hand into his shirt and pulled back so that I could look at him properly, “I love it. I just… how did you know about the fish?”

Todd grinned like the proudest man on earth.

“I knew you’d take to it like a natural bear darling. Try on the ring?”

It fit, perfectly.

“Thank you.”

“Marry me.”

“Yes.” I kissed him hard, open mouthed, the heat of his tongue on mine, “What about your ring?”

“I can’t wear one, what with all the changing.” He arched an eyebrow, and I remembered that we were still in the shop, “Do you want me to?”

“Nah,” I held my hand up, watching the little silver fish flash around my finger, “I know you’re mine.” Todd squeezed my butt as we left the shop, hand in hand, my… wedding ring, being caressed softly by his big fingers.

“You possessive little brat.”

“Me possessive?” I slapped his chest as I climbed into the Dodge, “I don’t growl at people when they smile at my husband.”

“Fiancé.”

“We have to set a date and everything?” I groaned as I started the engine, “Can we not just elope?”

“And here I figured you’d be one for the big lavish ceremony.”

I took Todd’s hand in my own as I pulled onto the main highway back towards home, looking over towards my bear, whose honey eyes shone just for me.

“I guess we need to get to know each other better.”

“We got time babe, we got time.”

***

I sighed, coming up out of a dream that was hazy and warm, and blinked my eyes to find my husband’s face between my legs, his beard tickling my thighs. I groaned and pushed my hand into his hair, wanting more, and relished in the glint of gold and silver against my pale skin and his thick black fur. Todd looked up at me and hummed.

“Oh holy fuck!” I bucked into his lips at the sensation, guaranteed every time to take me right up to the edge. The filthy bastard.

“Good morning to you too.” Todd drew off me, wrapping one big calloused hand around my shaft, stroking with his thumb at the head in small circles, “Sleep well?”

“Todd!”

Honey eyes rolled and Todd went back to sucking my cock eagerly down his throat. I grunted and snarled when he began to flick and stroke my nipples, tracing patterns across my skinny torso. I was panting and gasping and grabbing at the sheets in no time.

“Turn over,” my bear’s voice was tight and low, a husk that meant ‘obey me’ and which made be pliant as butter in summer. Thick fingers split me open, Todd’s hot and talented tongue swirling around my hole, opening me up, wetting the path for his cock.

He pulled me up against him, my back against his huge chest, my legs splayed around his own thighs. He kept me with a hand pressed to my sternum, and nibbled my neck from he join of the shoulder to my ear.

“Pretty boy…” I big hand around my throat, working up to my mouth where two fingers slipped past my lips. I sucked like a dying man, wanting the feeling of being held and full of my man. I ran my hands up his muscles ribs and moaned around his hand. Todd pushed the head of his thick fat cock into me and held still until his not moving was torture, until all I wanted to do was buck wildly on top of him. He held me still and whispered again in my ear, “Not yet babe. Not yet…”

I groaned again, twisted under his hands and then grunted with the force of his thrust into me. I panted, reaching behind my back to grab his hair. His hands moved down my torso, tormenting my nipples, wandering down towards my aching hard erection.

“Oh my god, babe, pleaseohpleaseohpleaseIwannacomesobad…” my words tumbling out of me too quick to even think about as he slammed past and over my sweet spot every time. I was wound tight, coiled like a spring in his lap as his cock pistoned in and out of me.

“Hoyt…” a low warning growl, “Hoyt, babe, I’m gonna… oh god, come for me Boy.”

I froze as my body went ridged, Todd’s thrusting erratic as he neared completed, and my cock jolted and twitched as I came over the sheets in front of us in thick gloopy ropes. Todd snarled as he unloaded himself into me in a heated rush, his teeth clamping on my shoulder and sucking up a bruise that would last for days. We panted together, stuck skin to skin by our sweat.

“That’s such a good way to get up.” I managed eventually, and half turned to find Todd looking down at me and smiling softly.

“I love you babe.”

“Love you too.” I lifted myself from him, and kissed him as I got up, “Shower time you think?”

We had pancakes and bacon for breakfast, a combination that, six months into our marriage I was still finding odd, but damn tasty. I secretly liked eggs. Todd sat across from me, playing with my bare feet in his lap as he ate one handed while flicked through our shared calendar.

“What do you wanna do today?”

“What’s on?”

I scanned the diary.

“Mrs Watson wants that big elm pruning. The forestry want you from three until seven for fire path trimming and I’m at the Lodge for the afternoon.”

“You need new hiking boots.”

“But I love my hiking boots.” Todd was right though. The tan boots had never been the same since their trip into the Kitimat, along with the fact that I now wore them twelve hours a day and waded across the Athabasca like it wasn’t the coldest river for miles. My brother thought I was mad.

“Here.” Todd had shaped his pancakes into a little soft inuksuk, drippy with maple syrup. The floppy arm was pointing to my boots by the door. They looked decrepit.

“But they were the boots that brought me to you.”

“Huh?”

“Harry was making me break them in. That’s why I kept coming back.”

“And here I thought it was my dashing good looks,” Todd grinned at me, “When is Kida coming?”

“Tomorrow. We’ll have to stop having sex all over the house.”

“Didn’t stop us when Darryl came to visit.” Todd grinned and I blushed to remember his cousin nearly catching us on the couch, naked and sweaty. I’d sat there in shorts with a hard on and Todd’s seed leaking down my leg as the bears had chatted nonchalantly.

“You bastard.” I got up and pulled on a t-shirt and gathered up my boots, “Adventure time?”

Within moment’s Todd was bear shaped, his thick fur shaggy now that winter was on its way. The air tasted like autumn and I pulled on a hoodie.

“Ah fuck.”

“Hurrnt?”

I held up the tongue of my left hiking boot. The stitching had finally given way to the abuse.

“You win.”

Todd sat back on his haunches with a cocky expression. Of course he always won. I kissed my silver fish then pecked his muzzle. My husband crouched to let me settled over his shoulders. I dug my fingers into his ruff, the fur silky and fantastic in my hands as we stepped out into the crisp morning.

New hiking boots would come and go, but the bear they’d led me to, well, he was forever.

 

*

The End