Nemesis: Because I Want You - 18. Chapter Eighteen: Speak in Tongues

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Speak in Tongues

Having Matt for an ally proved to have its benefits. He helped make distractions so they could slip away, provided alibis to Dave’s friends and, on the few occasions the three of them found themselves alone in one place, gave encouragement and moral support. One day, he even got Dave out of football practice so he could sneak off and spend the afternoon at Nick’s house instead.

Dave was already there when Nick got home. Nick had been held up by bullies on the way home again, but having escaped unharmed decided against telling Dave about it. This would be the first time they would have more than half an hour to spend together since Easter, and Nick didn’t want to waste any more time on those worthless bastards.

He found Dave in the sitting room with Zoë, having a soft drink and talking.

‘So coach thinks I’m sick and my father thinks I’m at football practice. No idea what we’d do without Matt, really,’ Dave was saying.

Nick made his presence known with a greeting and plopped down on the sofa next to Dave, snatching his glass out of his hand and taking a sip of his drink.

Zoë shook her head. ‘I probably shouldn’t tell you what I’m thinking. He is your dad.’

Dave scoffed. ‘He is not my dad. Dads love their kids and look out for them. He’s an unfortunate biological relative. I’m just a disappointment to him.’

‘Still.’ Zoë had a pained expression on her face. ‘I mean, I know all about shitty dads, believe me, but I think even our dad loved us at some point, even if he doesn’t seem to give two shits now. At least yours cares whether you live or die, yeah?’

Dave shrugged, taking his glass back from Nick and draining it.

‘Shall we go upstairs?’ Nick asked.

‘Yes, I suppose you two would rather be alone,’ said Zoë, standing up. ‘I’ve got some work to do, anyway. There’s been a massive cock-up in archiving.’ She picked up the empty glasses and smiled down at them. ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’

Nick took Dave’s hand and hauled him out of the couch, and then they made their way up to his bedroom.

Once inside, they shut the door behind them and were on each other in seconds, lips crashing together, hands reaching to touch as many parts of each other’s bodies as possible. Nick came up for air for long enough to turn on some music before they fell into bed, attached at the lips once more.

Pulling away slightly, Dave pulled his own green school jumper over his head before getting to work on removing Nick’s, but Nick grabbed him by the now loose tie and pulled him down on top of him into another smothering kiss.

‘God,’ he whispered between kisses, ‘you have no idea how much I want to do this every single time I see you.’

‘No, I do,’ said Dave, breathlessly. ‘I really, really do.’ He kissed Nick again. ‘Now hold still so I can get your clothes off!’ he growled, and Nick giggled.

Dave pulled Nick’s jumper off him, before loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt to reveal his chest. He caressed the pale skin with his fingertips and Nick threw his head back, his eyes fluttering shut, and released a moan. The feel of Dave’s hands on his skin was intoxicating.

Dave kissed a trail down Nick’s chest and stomach, and didn’t hesitate for a moment when he reached the waistband of Nick’s trousers, unzipping them and pulling off both trousers and pants in a single move, before going down on him. It felt amazing, but then he wedged a hand in under Nick’s bum and squeezed, and suddenly Nick knew exactly what he wanted. ‘Dave!’ he gasped. ‘Wait, stop . . .’

Dave stopped immediately, sitting up. ‘Am I doing it wrong?’ he asked nervously, and Nick smiled.

‘No, you’re not doing anything wrong, I just . . .’ He fidgeted a bit. ‘I was thinking and . . . Do you . . . I mean, do you want to go all the way? Like, you know, fuck?’ It came out very quickly and he felt himself blush as he said it. He’d wanted this for months, so why was it so hard to say it?

Dave looked down at him, wide-eyed. ‘I . . . Do you want to?’ he asked softly.

Nick nodded, looking everywhere but at Dave’s face. ‘Only if you do. I mean . . . after . . . I think I’d have to be the one to, you know, do it to you? So, only if you want, I know that’s new and different and you haven’t done anything like it before—’ He knew he was rambling, and Dave cut him off.

‘I want to,’ he said. ‘I mean, I’ve thought about it both ways . . .’ It was Dave’s turn to blush. ‘And I kind of figured you wouldn’t . . . not for now, anyway.’

‘Are you sure?’ asked Nick. ‘Cause if you’re not sure, then . . .’ He trailed off and bit his lip.

Dave looked at him for a long moment. Then he swallowed audibly and nodded. ‘I’m sure. I want you to.’

Nick sat up, facing Dave, and began to remove his tie and his shirt. Dave sat still, passive, letting him do the work, his tongue flitting out to lick his bottom lip every once in a while in a nervous gesture. Nick pressed light kisses to Dave’s chest as it was revealed.

When the shirt was gone, Nick put his arms around Dave, revelling in the feeling of warm skin against his own, Dave’s heart beating against his. Then he kissed him, gently but passionately. When he pulled back, Dave’s pupils were dilated and his breathing had grown somewhat laboured.

Nick sat on the edge of the bed, reaching into his nightstand to pull out a condom and a bottle of lube. ‘Lie down,’ he whispered.

‘On . . . on my front, or . . . ?’

‘Yeah, just so I can, erm . . .’ Nick blushed. ‘You know, get you ready.’

In the end, Dave ended up on top, to make it easier for him to control everything. It was awkward and messy and, Nick could tell, slightly painful for Dave. Then it was very, very good and then it got very, very loud, and Dave had to cover Nick’s mouth with his hand so Zoë wouldn’t hear him. Nick stuck out his tongue and smothered Dave’s palm in saliva, and it was Dave’s turn to be too loud. Nick grabbed hold of his shoulders and pulled him down, capturing his lips. Not long after, they both came.

When it was over, Dave collapsed on top of Nick, panting, trying desperately to catch his breath, and Nick stroked his blonde hair in what he hoped was a soothing manner. ‘You okay?’ he asked quietly. ‘I . . . Did it hurt?’

Dave laughed breathlessly into Nick’s shoulder. ‘I’m brilliant! That, that was—God, that was the most intense thing I’ve ever . . .’ He pulled a few ragged breaths and then propped himself up on his elbow, looking into Nick’s eyes. ‘I mean, I’m a bit sore, but . . .’ He looked down at Nick and licked his lips. ‘Are you okay?’

Nick smiled so widely his cheeks hurt. ‘Am I okay?’ he repeated. ‘I feel fantastic. You’re amazing, I . . . I love you.’

Dave kissed his forehead gently. ‘I love you, too.’

* * *

It was an ordinary Thursday, lunchtime, and Dave was about to go see Nick when he bumped into Alan. They froze, staring at each other. Alan swallowed.

‘Where are you going?’ the larger boy asked quietly.

‘None of your business,’ Dave retorted. They stood still for a few moments, sizing each other up. Then Dave said, ‘Out of my way, Alan.’

Alan snorted a humourless laugh. ‘Fuck you, Dave,’ he said. ‘You don’t get to tell me what to do.’

Dave shrugged, stepping around him.

‘Dave,’ said Alan suddenly, and Dave was about to turn around when another voice called his name.

Matt was coming towards him at a jog. ‘There you are,’ he said. ‘Mr. Cooper wants to see you.’

‘Cheers, Matt,’ said Dave and kept walking. As he passed the other, he gave him a barely noticeable wink. Today, ‘Mr. Cooper wants to see you’ seemed to be code for ‘Get your arse to your lunchtime make-out session’.

Dave squeezed in behind the bike shed to find Nick already there, smiling when he saw him. Dave sat down on the ground next to him, taking Nick’s smaller hand in his own and kissing his cheek.

‘You all right?’ he asked softly.

‘Yeah,’ said Nick, meeting his gaze. ‘You?’

Dave shrugged. ‘Ran into Alan on my way here. It was . . . weird.’

‘I ran into him on the way home from school the other day,’ said Nick. ‘He’s hanging out with some real thugs now. They were gonna pummel me.’

Dave felt fury fill him again and he took a deep breath to calm himself. ‘If he hurt you, I swear—’

‘He didn’t,’ said Nick, quickly. ‘Actually, he kind of saved me. Convinced the others I wasn’t worth it. I think he might come around soon.’

Every trace of anger left Dave as he looked at the boy next to him, all earnest grey eyes and quiet compassion. ‘This is what I love about you,’ he said softly. Nick smiled again and lay down with his head in Dave’s lap, looking up at him. ‘You believe in the good in everyone,’ Dave continued, stroking his cheek.

‘Not everyone,’ said Nick, his expression darkening. ‘There’s no good in Craig.’

Dave made a grimace. He took Nick’s hand again, giving it a squeeze. ‘Any news?’

‘They’re gonna charge him,’ said Nick slowly. ‘But we don’t really know what’s going to happen. I mean, we’re probably gonna get him on the assault charge, cause of the bruises and forensics and everything, and stuff he said when they arrested him, but . . .’ He trailed off.

‘But what?’ Dave ran his fingers through his lover’s hair.

‘Well, there’s no evidence of . . . of sexual assault.’ Nick swallowed, looking away. ‘They found, er . . . semen. DNA traces on the bedding that weren’t mine, but there were no traces left on me. And with no witnesses . . .’ He sighed. ‘It’s a bit of a mess, really. The bastard’s denying everything. They’ve taken DNA samples, but the results aren’t back yet.’

Dave bit his lip in a surprisingly Nick-like gesture, and sighed as well. He closed his eyes for a minute, and then came to a decision. ‘I’ll testify,’ he said finally. ‘I wasn’t there, but you came straight to me. I saw the bruises when they were fresh, and I saw what he’d done to you back in October, too. And Jason, he can testify as to you coming to us, your mental state and what-not.’

Nick sat up. He looked at Dave and smiled. ‘Dave, you can’t,’ he said softly. ‘Not without people finding out about everything. By which I mean your dad.’

‘Do you think I care about that?’ said Dave fiercely. ‘Trust me, my problems pale in comparison to this.’ He reached out and stroked Nick’s neck gently, pulling him towards him and kissing his forehead. ‘We’re gonna put Craig’s disgusting, abusive, rapist arse in jail for a very long time.’

Nick sniffed, and Dave realised he was crying. He cupped his chin in his left hand and wiped the tears from his cheek with his thumb. ‘You okay?’ he asked gently. Nick nodded.

‘Yeah,’ he whispered. ‘I am now. God, I love you so much!’ Then he leaned in and touched his lips to Dave’s, and the rest of the world just fell away for a moment.

Afterwards, Dave took Nick’s hand and smiled at him. ‘So, what do you say?’ he asked. ‘Shall we get this over with?’

Nick cocked his head to one side. ‘Get what over with?’

Dave smiled crookedly. ‘Coming out,’ he said. ‘I think it’s getting to be about that time, don’t you?’

Nick looked bewildered for just a moment longer, but then a wide grin spread across his face.

‘You really mean that?’ he asked.

‘Of course I really mean it,’ said Dave softly. ‘If I’m testifying at the trial, I might as well come out of the closet while I’m at it, right? Besides . . . You’re worth it.’ He gave Nick’s hand a squeeze and then stood up, pulling his boyfriend to his feet. ‘You ready?’

‘Are you seriously asking me that?’ Nick asked with a grin.

And with that, they left the safety of their secret hiding place behind the bike shed and walked out into the school yard, hand in hand.

At first, nobody seemed to notice, and then all at once it was like everyone did.

‘Oi! Gone queer, Thompson?’ someone called, and Dave halted, searching the crowd for the face of the one who’d said it.

He fixed the boy with his steadiest gaze and said, ‘Yes.’

Nick giggled. ‘You’ve got a penchant for the dramatic, don’t you?’ he remarked.

‘Well, if I’m gonna come out, I wanna do it properly,’ said Dave, shrugging. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Alan, pale faced and wide eyed, looking like he was trying to melt into the background. Dave ignored him.

As they reached the front steps of the school building, Chas stepped in front of them. Dave looked right at him, challenging him to judge them.

‘So, you two, then?’ asked Chas, his expression unreadable.

‘Yeah,’ said Dave, utterly stone faced, ‘us two.’

Chas nodded slowly. ‘That’s cool,’ he said with a shrug of one shoulder. Then he grinned. ‘Happy?’

Dave felt a slow grin spread across his features. Then he glanced at Nick, who was wearing an expression to rival his own. He squeezed Nick’s hand and lifted it to his face, his lips brushing one of Nick’s knuckles gently.

‘Happy,’ said Dave.

* * *

They walked hand in hand up the road towards Dave’s house. They didn’t speak, they just walked in a tense and nervous silence. When they reached the gate, Dave hesitated.

‘We don’t have to do this now,’ said Nick, lifting a hand to stroke Dave’s shoulder softly. ‘We’ll do it when you’re ready, it doesn’t have to be today.’

‘No, it does,’ said Dave. ‘I’m brave right now. Besides, he’ll find out eventually, now that it’s out, and if I don’t stand up to him now, he’ll just make everything even harder.’

Dave opened the gate with a trembling hand, and they walked up to the front door. Dave unlocked it and opened it and they stepped inside. Still holding hands, they made their way to the end of the hall, where his father’s study was. Dave’s pulse sped up and he swallowed. Then he raised his hand and knocked.

‘Come.’

They looked at each other and Nick smiled encouragingly at Dave. It made him feel braver, and he pushed open the door.

His father looked up from the desk. His mouth fell open and his eyes grew wide. Dave shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Nick gave his hand a little squeeze.

‘What—’ his father began, cutting himself off abruptly and starting again. ‘What is the meaning of this?’

‘Father, this is my boyfriend,’ said Dave. His father looked like he wanted to say something, but Dave pressed on. ‘You can either accept it or not, but you’re not going to stop it. There’s just no way you can. It’s my life, and you can’t tell me what to do or who to be, and I won’t let you or anyone else take Nick away from me.’

His father stood. ‘I will not have a mincy little bender for a son, do you hear?’ he barked. ‘I raised you to be a man!’

‘You hardly raised me at all!’ Dave shot back heatedly. ‘You tried to raise me to be you, but I’m not! You wanted me to be a man? This is me, being a man, and standing up to you!’ He took a deep breath. ‘Look. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. You can ground me, and I just won’t come home from school. You can try to send me off somewhere, and I’ll run right back here. If you won’t accept me for who I am and if you can’t deal with who I fall in love with, then I’ll do and be what I want anyway.’

‘And if you try to kick Dave out, he’ll come live with me,’ said Nick.

Dave smiled, then, and looked fondly at his boyfriend. He lifted his hand and kissed it. Then he turned back to his father. ‘So?’

Dave’s father seemed at a loss. His shoulders slumped a bit and he looked away from his son. ‘Who knows?’ he asked quietly.

‘Everyone,’ said Nick.

Dave’s father looked up sharply, his face turning white as a sheet. ‘Everyone?’ he repeated in a thin voice.

‘Or at least, most people at school, which means everyone will know soon,’ said Dave.

His father nodded curtly. ‘All right,’ he said at last. ‘If that’s how it is then . . . Fine. But he leaves now. He does not come here, ever.’ He didn’t even look at Nick when he said it, his stony look reserved for his son alone.

‘Done,’ said Nick. ‘You’ll never have to see me.’

‘And you will not neglect your studies or football for this.’

‘Wouldn’t dream of it,’ said Dave, grinning now. ‘Thanks, Dad, you’re the best!’ His tone was dripping with sarcasm. He squeezed Nick’s hand and they turned around and left.

Once they were standing on the pavement outside, Dave felt how shaky his knees were and he slumped against the fence. He felt giddy and light-headed, and let out a short, broken laugh. Nick raised an eyebrow, looking at him.

‘You all right?’ he asked, an amused smile on his lips.

‘Yeah,’ said Dave, composing himself a bit. ‘Yeah, I think so. That, erm . . . Heh . . .’ He stood up straight again. ‘So . . . what happens now?’

Nick took his hand in both of his and raised it to his lips, kissing it softly. ‘Now,’ he said, ‘we live.’