A Grain in the Sands of Time - 5. The Hounds of Fate

Sun was high in the sky as she made her way over the dusty spring horizon spreading out from Desert Hills. Matt looked longingly in his rearview mirror at the plantation house where Andrew lived, as it grew smaller in the distance. He could still feel Andrew in his arms, under him, on top of him, inside of him. This was the beginning of something special Matt thought to himself as he made his way home. He was seriously late. He had to practically run out of the door after his first attempt to leave resulted in him and Andrew getting undressed by the front door for one last passionate sexual encounter. He wanted to give Andrew a ride to work and pick him up later, but Andrew had rather strongly insisted that he wanted to take his bike to get some exercise, although Matt was pretty sure that Andrew said that so that he wouldn’t be late for his meeting. Although Matt possessed the ability to move to any spot at any time, as all members of the Arcana could, he found when he showed up in places without a vehicle that there were awkward questions to answer, and so, like everyone else, he travelled the old fashioned way. It makes me feel almost human, Matt thought to himself, and that meant more to Matt, given his experiences over the past few days, than it ever had before.

The last four days had thrown Matt emotionally and he was happy to be on his own once again, so he could try and sort through what was happening to him. He knew he was in love with Andrew regardless of how little time he had actually known him. It felt like they were meant to be together, Matt felt like he was balanced, whole, and complete when he was with Andrew. Or maybe this was just his lust talking, he wasn’t sure. But then why was he so sure immediately after he ran into both the boy and Andrew that he was at a turning point in his lives? Yesterday he was convinced that he knew the path he should follow, and here now he was wondering if he was doing the right thing.

He told himself he needed to speak with Temperance. She would know if what he was feeling was right, she always knew what to say in these moments. Not that Matt had actually ever experienced these moments before. Being in love was a new experience for him. As far as he knew it had never happened before in the Arcana. People had left yes, but their lives had been lonely and distraught. It seemed that they couldn’t handle the isolation of not being part of the Arcana and some had even taken their own lives as a result. Matt wasn’t sure why he was so convinced that his life would be different, but he knew one thing for certain, he wouldn’t be on his own. He would be with Andrew, and together he couldn’t imagine a life of loneliness. He had felt vestiges of love before, but nothing like this. His heart pounded at the sight of Andrew. Even being away from him right now hurt Matt. He wanted to be with him all of the time, just to look at his face, his adorable eyes, to watch him smile, or just see him next to him. He loved the feel of Andrew’s hand in his, or the smell of him when they made love. Matt shook himself to regain the purpose of him leaving Andrew in the first place. He needed to accomplish his task and not get too sidetracked.

Fifteen minutes later, Matt pulled up into driveway of the hotel. He didn’t recognize the valet but instructed her to put his Jeep away and pull his Beaumont around and have it waiting for him in 20 minutes. He ran into the hotel with his bags from the Jeep and launched himself into the elevator. Once in his room he threw off his clothes, quickly jumped in and out of the shower, and changed into a fresh pair of jeans, white shirt, white socks and his black, canvas high-tops.

He emerged right on Time and saw his gleaming, blue ’67 Beaumont Custom waiting for him. Matt recalled the day he made the purchase, almost three years to the day. It was a similar day to today in Vegas, hot and sweaty, the air clung to him and on one of his many rides, he passed the showroom of a car dealership in the heart of the city. It might have been the closest thing to love Matt had experienced. There she was, shiny and blue. Matt pulled himself from the memory as the valet opened the door from him and accepted the bill he offered her. He left in a roar from the duel pipes. Driving down the street Matt was happy, as happy as he had ever felt before, and is voice sang along with The Rolling Stones.

I'm on the run, I hear the hounds
My luck is up, my chips are down
So goodbye baby, so long now
Wish me luck, I'm going to need it child
The hand of fate is on me now
Yeah it's too late

He arrived at the house where he was to meet with Abby and her young son. If Matt had heard her correctly, his name was Tennessee. Strange name for a child, he thought. The house was located in an area of Vegas known as Green Valley, part of the larger community of Henderson, which became part of Las Vegas due to the growth in the real estate market many years ago. Living in Green Valley meant you were surrounded by a golf course and your kids were generally driven to school in a Lexus, but the house before him looked old and worn. It was here before the real estate boom brought a lot of money to the neighborhood. It stood out in many ways, smaller and older than the surrounding houses. In the driveway sat an older model Toyota Corolla, it said something about Abby - sturdy, stable, practical, efficient.

He approached the front door and before he could push the small button for the doorbell, the door opened and Abby’s face beamed up at him.

“Thank you for coming,” She extended her hand in greeting. Taking his hand firmly she looked at him intently in the eye and made Matt feel a little intimidated. “Abby.” She introduced herself and almost pulled him through the door. “Come on in, have a seat over there.”

Matt wasn’t sure if he was going to be allowed to talk, but as he sat she looked at him expectantly. He cleared his throat, “Well,” he said, “you have a nice house Abby.”

“Thank you. Tenny and I like it.”

“Tenny?” Matt thought he would take the opportunity to ask one of the many questions on his mind.

“Yes, short for Tennyson.” Of course! Abby continued. “He’s named after his grandfather on his father’s side. Tenny’s dad loved the name and was very proud of having a son he could pass the name to.”

“Is your husband here?” Asked Matt looking around for the man.

“No… unfortunately, Tenny’s dad died two years ago, when he was four.”

“Oh I’m sorry Abby if I had known…”

“It’s okay Matt it’s been long enough now that I don't cry whenever it comes up. Alex was in the military. He died in Afghanistan when a roadside bomb went off. They said he died instantly.” Abby looked past Matt like she was remembering something, so Matt didn’t interrupt. He just waited for her to make eye contact with him again and she put on a sheepish smile. “Sorry Matt, I didn’t mean to make things weird.”

“That’s alright really, I’ve lost people in my life to.” Matt said seriously.

“Yes you have, haven’t you.” It was statement of fact, not a question.

It unnerved Matt more than he would have liked. It was rare for Matt to be caught off guard when he was with a human. But both Andrew and this interesting woman had the same affect of making him somewhat nervous.

Abby went on, “Well… Tenny was never the same afterwards. He’s been shy, withdrawn, and distant ever since. He lost his friends at school. He barely says two words to me all day. And then Matt, a few days ago, when we went to get some milk from the store on our way home from an early dismissal from Tenny’s school, you walked through the door and changed my son’s life.” She was on the verge of tears. “He laughed in the car for the first time in two years when he described what he saw to me on our way home and he didn’t stop until he went to sleep. I’d only ever seen him laugh that way when his father was alive. So you see, I had to find out if there was something I could do to keep that spark alive for my boy Matt. And when I saw Amy at the store later in the day and asked about you, she said she knew you and thought you may be interested in hearing what I had to say. Rather coincidental don’t you think?”

“Yes.” Matt replied softly, but couldn’t help and think how un-coincidental it actually sounded to him. He knew as he listened to Abby’s story that there was more to this than Abby knew. He was sure that Time’s hand had intervened in this. Try as he might, however, he had no idea where this would go, but he did know that it was Tenny’s destiny to replace him as Fool. “But I’m not sure I can be there for what Tenny needs Abby, I’m not a counsellor.”

“Tenny doesn’t need a counsellor Matt, he’s been there and it helped, but he’s beyond that now. What he needs is a friend. He needs someone to make him laugh like he did in the car. He needs to trust people again. What I’m asking for is for you to be a friend to my son. I don’t expect you to see him every day or anything like that, but if you could maybe take him to the park or a bike ride. Now, I know you're a young guy and you have lots of other things that take up your time, so I have a little bit of money saved up and I would like to pay you for …”

“Wait Abby, let me say something first. I would like to do this for you. In fact, I actually look forward to it, but I don’t want you to pay me. I don’t need the money Abby.”

“But I can’t ask you to just do this Matt, it’s too much to ask.”

Then you don’t have to ask. I’m offering. Let me do this.” Abby smiled and nodded gratefully. “But I do want to let you know one thing. I’m not sure how long I can be in your son’s life. I’m at a bit of a crossroads, and I was thinking about going to school. I don’t know where that would be, but it may not be here in Vegas.”

“Oh, I see,” she pulled it together quickly. “Well, even if only for a little while, it might be nice for Tenny to have someone he could call a friend.”

“I think I can do that, but Abby there is something else you should know, and even though it really is no ones business but my own, some may have an issue with it. I’m gay.” He searched her face for a reaction.

“Yes Matt, I know.” The pause got a bit awkward. “Oh I hope you don’t think I was hitting on you Matt!” Abby gasped.

“No, no that isn’t what I was thinking at all!” He couldn’t believe how weird things suddenly got. “It’s just, he’s a kid and you know some people have stupid thoughts about gay people and kids.” Matt was suddenly embarrassed and colored visibly.

Abby saved him. “Matt, there is no need to worry that I may have some ridiculous notions about what being gay is or is not. Truth be told I dabbled a little myself in college. In fact, Tenny’s uncle is gay.”

Matt was hugely relieved, not only for himself, but also for Tenny. Matt knew, given his conviction that Tenny would become part of the Arcana, that Tenny would eventually discover that he was gay. It was in the cards and there was no doubt in Matt’s mind about it. “Well that settles that. Is he here then?”

“Yes, he’s out back, but he doesn’t know you were coming today. I didn’t want him to get his hopes up.”

Matt nodded as Abby got up and motioned for him to follow her. She took him to a patio door, which looked out on the fenced back yard. In a wooden playhouse with no door, Matt could see the young boy sitting on the floor inside. He was talking to someone Matt couldn’t see. “Who’s he with?”

“No one.” Abby responded and carried on when she saw Matt’s confused expression. “He talks to himself when no one else is around. Sometimes he does it when he’s playing, sometimes when he is in his room at night, but always when he is alone. A therapist told me once that he doesn’t like to be silent as it reminds him of his father not being there. I don’t know if it’s true, but it only began after his father passed away.”

Matt’s compassion got the better of him and he felt tears coming to his eyes. This kid had a hard go of it, and it made Matt’s task even more difficult. Should I be here? Matt asked himself as he watched the young boy chattering to himself. There was no smile on his face Matt noticed. Is it right to drop a burden like what I have on this kids feet?

“Shall I introduce you?” asked Abby.

“Ya, why not.” Matt said. They stepped out on the porch and immediately attracted Tenny’s attention. Abby called him over and he approached cautiously and hid behind his mom.

“Tenny, I want you to meet Matt. Matt has agreed to look after you sometimes when I can’t be here.”

The little boy looked out from his mother’s leg and pointed directly at Matt. “You’re the man from the store yesterday.”

“That’s right Tenny, you’ve got a good memory. What were you playing just now?”

The boy looked back to the playhouse. “Nothin.”

“Hm, looked like fun whatever it was.” Matt said nonchalantly.

The boy eyed him curiously. “You wanna see my playhouse?” He asked Matt unexpectedly.

Matt gave a surprised look to Abby who smiled and nodded enthusiastically. “Ya, sure, lead on.”

Tenny led Matt to the playhouse and made his way easily through the door. Matt followed – not so easily – but managed to fold himself inside the playhouse with his head ducked down so he wouldn’t hit it on the ceiling.

“Try not to knock anything over.” Tenny said with a big grin on his face, referencing the disaster at the store. They stared at each other for a moment and then burst out laughing. And Tenny kept talking. Telling Matt of all the imaginary things in the empty playhouse.

Abby watched her son and was again on the verge of tears for she knew that the words of the old man that she had met at the park after the death of her husband two years ago had come true. She didn’t know how or why, but she knew when she saw Matt and Tenny playing together that this was what the old man referred to. The day was much like today, the sun was shining, and the heat of the sun was high and made her sweat in its intensity. She lost herself in the memory of that day and heard his words like he was speaking them into her ear today.

“There will come a day in the future when your son finds a kindred spirit in a young man that is rather clumsy and foolish. The boy will still be young of age, but he will be ready for the gift that will be offered to him by this man. Don’t stand in his way as the fate of both of them, and ultimately all of you, depends on it.”

She thought he was nuts, obviously, and maybe he was, who knew. But something about the encounter had given her hope that Tenny might heal from having his father torn away from him at such a young age. At the time, she was ready to hang onto any hope she could find as Tenny and her had learned of his father’s death only two weeks prior to the encounter in the park.

Abby didn’t know what to make of what the old guy said, whether it was an ominous warning, or just the ramblings of some crazy, but felt better knowing that if Matt were indeed the person the old guy spoke about, then all would be okay in Tenny’s world. She brought her attention back to the two that were still huddled together in the playhouse talking about something she couldn’t hear, but seeing for the first time in a long time her son was having fun with someone.

“Thank you Matt,” she whispered. Almost as if he heard her, Matt looked up and smiled at her and nodded, but there was no possible way that he could hear from the distance between the porch and playhouse. A little unsettled, she shook the feeling off, got up and called out to them, “How about some lemonade you guys?”

“Sounds good,” Tenny and Matt echoed in unison. They both looked at each other and laughed again.

It was a good sound Abby thought, one she was looking forward to hearing more often.

**********

Driving home from his time with Abby and Tenny, Matt realized that he was exhausted. He hadn’t gotten near enough sleep the night before with Andrew and playing like he hadn’t since he was younger was a new kind of energy he felt like he needed more of in his life. It was tiring yes, but invigorating as well. He had played with the boy in the backyard for almost three hours and his back was still stiff from crouching in that damn playhouse. Something troubled him deeply, however, as he drove through the busy streets back to the hotel. Tenny had said something that Matt was sure was too important to ignore. He reflected back on their conversation.

“Do you bring your friends here Tenny?” Matt asked, but cringed as he recalled what Abby had told him earlier about Tenny not having any friends.

If the comment phased Tenny in the least he didn’t show it. “No, I don’t really have any friends, just the old man.

Something in the way he said it raised the hackles on Matt’s neck – it was too familiar. “Do you mean your grandpa?”

“No my grandpa is dead,” Tenny said as a matter of plain fact. “but the old man told me not to be scared of dying.”

“What?” Matt wasn’t sure he heard Tenny correctly, but he started to sweat and it wasn’t from the cramped hot quarters of the playhouse.

“He told me not to be scared of when death comes, because when one life ends another will begin, and those that die will be reborn.”

“Tenny, what did the old man look like?” Matt asked but he thought he already knew the answer.

“Like an old man, weren’t you listening?” Matt got the are-you-crazy look.

Matt laughed. “Yes, I was listening Tenny. Did the old man give you his name?”

Tenny thought and came to a quick conclusion. “He said he’s known by many names, but that I could call him Tim.”

Turning onto the strip a few blocks away from the hotel, Matt knew Time was up to something. As the ruler of all things, Time was not someone that you questioned. If there was a God it was Time, and as Matt’s father, he knew better than most not to question Time’s involvement in matters. His father interacted with very few people in the world, and even less with members of the Arcana, and when he did, it was for a reason. But why now, after Matt had found this little boy who he knew would one day soon replace Matt, would Time show up? What was he doing? Should he summon his father? He didn’t have a lot of time to dwell on these questions as he arrived at his hotel.

Pulling up to the front door, Carl was back to greet him and take his keys. On his way to the elevator he checked his phone and noticed there were two messages on his voicemail. He had been so busy thinking about what was going on with Tenny that he forgot to check his phone when he got to his car.

Waiting for the elevator to arrive he checked the messages. The first was from his banker asking him to phone. The second was from Andrew.

“Ah hey Matt, listen… I just wanted to tell you what a great time I had last night … and this morning,” Matt smiled to himself. “But I need to say that we are moving pretty fast here and I know that we said we would be seeing each other tonight, but… I think it would be a good idea to just take it a bit slower if that’s ok?” Ok? No it’s not Goddamn Ok! What is going on I thought everything was great? “Ya, so I’m going to cancel our date tonight and ah… I’ll give you a call.”

Matt was stunned and was almost ready to cry as the elevator doors opened with a ding. A couple was in the elevator, laughing when the doors opened, saw his face grew quiet and stepped by him. On autopilot Matt stepped into the elevator and hit the 64^th floor button to take him to his room.

As soon as he was in his room, he dialed Andrew’s number on his cell phone and stalked around the luxury of his hotel condo in utter disbelief of what was happening. After several attempts and no answer he dialed Amy’s cell number.

“Hello Matt,” she answered and Matt could tell that she knew something.

“Amy, is Andrew with you?” Matt pleaded.

“No he’s not, but I do know that this is between the two of you and I do not want to be involved.”

“Amy please, what did he say. Tell me so I can fix this!” he was feeling himself get angry.

“Sorry Matt,” and Amy hung up on him.

“Shit!” Matt threw his cell into the leather sofa, and then immediately thought it back into his grasp. He dialed Andrew’s number again, and again. On his third attempt Andrew picked up, or someone did and as there was no answer on the other end of the phone, but Matt knew it was Andrew, he was keyed to the breath on the other end of the phone line. “Andrew listen, I don’t know what I’ve done, but let me try to make it better. I will give you whatever you need, if you need space or just a break, or…”

The phone went dead. Andrew hung up on him without saying a word. Matt dropped to the floor where he stood, placing his hands on the soft pine hardwood floor to support him. His emotional world crumbled and he let the tears slide down his face. In utter agony he felt a pain he never dreamt he would experience. He had lost the only person in the world he had truly loved. It took Matt four days to connect with a love that had been almost twelve thousand years in the making, and in one phone call it was over.

He had found the person that he loved, and the person that had allowed him to contemplate death in the same store, on the same day. Now, Fate had spoken, and she placed her hand around his throat. Time had his fingers in what was happening with Tenny, and Andrew just blew him off after the most incredible four days Matt had ever experienced. He was miserable. He picked himself up off of the floor and made his way into the bedroom and onto the bed. Taking only his shoes off, he crawled underneath the pristine covers of his hotel bed and wept silently.