Barely Existing - 9. Chapter 9

Tate stood alone on his porch; his family was already back in the house. His body still burned for the man he watched reverse out of the driveway. Tate could feel the icy claws of loneliness creeping in as Gavin’s tail lights disappeared. He stomped back into his new home and immediately started unpacking. His bear was frustrated with him for letting their mate leave and the man wanted the time to pass quickly, eager to see Gavin again.

Tate finished connecting the TV in his bedroom before he jogged down the stairs and walked into the living room. His brothers knelt on the floor, assembling his entertainment system, and the rest of his family stood around joking and laughing. Frustration and need collided head first with anger. My mate is waiting for us and they are playing? Unable to control his other form any longer, his bear took the reins.

“Get the fucking lead out!” He roared.

The room became eerily quiet. His family stared at him as if he had grown an extra head. His mom was the first one to act. Kathy left the room without saying a word. She walked up the stairs and Tate heard a door open. Moments later she returned and made her way to Tate. She threw a t-shirt to him, pointed her finger at the front door and tapped her foot. No one messed with mama bear.

Tate silently obeyed, ashamed that he had lost control over his bear and his emotions. On his way out the door he grabbed the keys to his truck, his wallet, and his cell phone. He stepped outside on the porch and pulled his shirt over his head as he waited for his family. Without speaking, the family loaded into their vehicles and drove the short distance to Gavin’s house.

Tate watched as Gavin served drinks to his family. His head now fully out of his ass, Tate knew he owed his family an apology.Tate glanced over at his mom and found her watching him. Her face was gentle and he knew there were no hard feelings. She nodded once and gave him a motherly smile.

On his way back to the kitchen, Gavin passed in front of Tate and unknowingly captured Tate’s attention. Unable and unwilling to fight the invisible rope pulling him to his mate, Tate followed. He leaned against the kitchen counter and watched as Gavin demonstrated the proper way to pour beer into the cup without it foaming up.

“Where did you learn to do that?” Curious, Tate could not resist asking.

Gavin’s body tensed and his reply was terse. “My dad.”

Tate was shocked into silence and he listened as Gavin explained. Tate was not sure what to think or to say. It was the last answer he had expected to hear.

Gavin unflinchingly met Tate’s gaze, silently daring him to comment. His big chocolate eyes begged him to let it go. His reaction spoke volumes, telling Tate more than Gavin’s words. Acceptance and bitterness battled in Gavin’s voice. Tate wanted to know more but he kept his lips sealed and he let the matter drop.

They walked outside onto the back deck and chatted as Gavin prepped the grills. They had not been out long before they were joined by Michael and Brad. His father and brother leaned against the deck railing beside Tate and they all watched Gavin.

“What is that?” Michael moved closer to Gavin. Tate smiled inwardly. It was obvious his mate was a shy man. He knew his dad was attempting to pull Gavin away from his silent safety net by making him feel comfortable and feel as if he were part of the family.

“It’s a starter chimney. “ Gavin explained. He caught Michael’s confused look and smiled. “It’s a way to heat your charcoal without using lighter fluid. I honestly think it makes the coals hotter,” Gavin shrugged, “but that’s just my opinion.”

Curious, Brad moved to Gavin’s other side. “How do you use it?”

“Well,” Gavin used the lighter to point to the bottom of the canister, “you put newspaper in the bottom, fill the top with briquettes and then set the newspaper on fire.”

“Huh. I’ve never seen this before. What’s the purpose? Why not buy the kind you can just light?”

Gavin shrugged. “I just like this way better. This type of charcoal is generally more affordable and I’ve never had any luck when I’ve used lighter fluid.”

“Hmm,” Michael sounded impressed. “How long does it take to heat the coals?”

“About twenty to thirty minutes, I think.” Gavin stated. Brad and Michael both nodded and all three men joined Tate.

Michael wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “Damn it’s hotter than a four-balled tomcat.”

Bottle raised to his lips, Gavin choked on the sip of water he had just taken, causing Tate and Brad to laugh even harder. Michael thumped Gavin on the back.

“Are you okay?” Tate asked, still chuckling.

The back door opened and Kathy stuck her head out. “Michael!” She yelled at the door.

“What?”

“Come here.”

“Why?”

“Just do it, dang it. You too, Brad.”

“What do you want woman?” Michael asked, a grin on his face, as he walked towards her, Brad following close behind him. The door shut and silence encompassed the deck for a moment.

Gavin looked at Tate. “What was all of that about?”

“I don’t even know.”

The air had started to cool as the sun began to set. The cookout was a success. Lisa, Brandy, Kayla, and Crys were in the kitchen putting away the few remaining leftovers and cleaning up. They insisted that Gavin leave the cleanup to them. Tate pulled Gavin out of the kitchen and onto the deck. Michael sat in a deck chair with Kathy snuggled in his lap. Logan, Eric, and Brad leaned against the house while Tavin, Tate, and Gavin sat on the deck steps.

“You have a nice place here Gavin.” Tavin’s deep voice rumbled.

“Thanks.” Gavin agreed. “I like it. I work in the city so it’s a nice little escape from the hustle and bustle. This is my haven.”

Tavin nodded in understanding, his gaze roaming the back yard. “It would be nice to have so much open space. It’s getting harder to breathe in Knoxville.”

Content, Tate watched his mate and twin bonding. He had never known so much could happen in just over a twenty-four hour period. Yesterday morning his bear had wanted to explore their new home and found their mate instead. Since Friday morning, he had held the man destined to be his in his arms, tasted his lips, and met his family. His mate was slowly starting to let him in, and it was a gift to see the man that most of world did not know.

His bear was still anxious to claim their mate; the bond riding the animal hard. The man however was pleased. He knew a normal, human relationship would have progressed much slower. He still ached for the man beside him and he worried about moving too fast, but for that night he was simply happy to have found Gavin.

The sun was a faint light in the sky when they started a fire in the stone propane pit on the deck. They brought folding chairs out of storage and moved the patio furniture to make room. The large group circled around the fire pit and the night air was filled with chatter and laughter. Gavin sat beside Tate and reached for Tate’s hand. Tate beamed inside. He gave the smaller hand in his a gentle squeeze.

Kayla and Logan were the first to leave, and after some time only Tavin remained. Gavin and Tate walked back into the living room where Tavin waited, relaxed on the sofa. Gavin flopped down, his body sinking into the cushions as if gravity had become a battle he could no longer fight. He handed Tate the remote. Shortly after, his breathing deepened and Tate could see his exhausted mate was asleep. Tate wrapped an arm around him and gently moved so he cuddled the sleeping man.

“I like him.” Tavin’s gravelly voice pulled Tate’s attention from Gavin. “He’s a good man.” Tate nodded. Gavin was a good man. Anyone could see that.

“He’s been hurt before.” Tavin observed. Again, Tate nodded. He was not surprised Tavin had sensed it. His brother was very intuitive and sensitive to certain emotions. “I’m happy for you bro.” With that parting statement, Tavin stood, lifted his chin to Tate and silently left.

“I’m happy for me too.” Tate whispered to an empty house and a sleeping mate.

The movie played quietly in the background, unobserved. Tate only had eyes for the man in his arms and time lost meaning. Tate’s eyes started to burn and fatigue crept in. He reluctantly woke Gavin.

“Hmm.” Gavin moaned and snuggled closer to Tate.

Tate’s smile was soft and his heart melted. “Wake up baby.” He whispered in Gavin’s ear.

“No.” Gavin responded, his voice thick with sleep.

“Come on beautiful, I have to go.” Tate caressed the side of Gavin’s face with the back of his hand. It physically hurt having to wake up Gavin, but he dared not leave his baby sleeping on the couch with the doors unlocked. He wanted nothing more than to curl around Gavin and stay there the rest of the night.

Gavin sighed and sat up, his movements sluggish. “But I was sleeping so good.” He playfully pouted.

Damn he is too fucking adorable. Unable to resist, Tate leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Gavin’s lips. “I know baby. I’m sorry I had to wake you, trust me. But it’s been a long day and I’m getting pretty tired.”

“Okay.” The response was drawn out and almost sad. Tate’s heart leapt. His baby was just as reluctant as he was for him to leave.

Tate stood before the temptation to stay became more than he could resist. “Come on baby, walk me to the door.”

Gavin took the hand Tate offered and pulled himself off the couch. At the entrance, Tate gently pulled Gavin into his body and wrapped his arms around the other man. Gavin gave Tate his weight and his tired brown eyes peered up at Gavin.

“Thank you for today baby. Thank you for taking care of my family and welcoming them into your home. Thank you for everything.” Tate gently kissed Gavin. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” Gavin nodded before he tilted his back, silently asking for another kiss.

Happy to accommodate, Tate pressed his lips to Gavin’s, lingering this time before he pulled away. Gavin’s breath whispered over his lips and Tate’s skin prickled. “Goodnight baby,” he whispered.

“Goodnight Tate,” Gavin slurred, his voice still thick with sleep. Tate cupped Gavin’s jaw and slid his thumb over his full bottom lip. Their lips met once more before Tate pulled himself away. With a last glance, Tate forced himself to walk out the front door to his truck. He fought the urge to look over his shoulder. Tate slid under cool sheets into a lonely bed shortly after he arrived home. When sleep finally came, Gavin was still on his mind.

***

Tate swiveled in his office chair and gazed out the window overlooking the small park outside his office building. His first day at work had been easy and completely dull. The morning had flown by with a tour of the company and paperwork in Human Resources. His direct supervisor, Gordon Mitchell, had taken him out for lunch to a pub around the corner. It had been a nice gesture, and a decent enough lunch, if a little awkward. Gordon seemed to be a friendly enough man, but only time would tell.

After lunch Tate received an email list of links that Gordon requested he finish by the end of the day. He spent the afternoon watching training videos and completing the assessments that followed. With the last video watched and the last quiz taken, Tate emailed Gordon and let him know that he had finished. Gordon’s response was swift and advised Tate to sit tight until the all-hands meeting started in ten minutes.

Tate rocked back in the office chair. He laced his fingers over his abdomen and stretched out his long legs. His thoughts drifted to Gavin, not for the first time that day. He had not spoken to him since the day before and the messages had been brief. Unsure of Gavin’s feelings, Tate was afraid of being too pushy and overwhelming him.

His fingers twitched and Tate had to stop himself from picking up his phone. Tonight, he promised himself. Tonight we’ll call him. A tapping sound startled Tate, dragging him back to the present. He spun around to face the doorway and smiled in greeting.

Gordon poked his head into the office. “Ready?”

Gavin stood and locked his computer. “Yes sir.” He followed Gordon out of his office and to the elevator.

“Most of our company meetings are held on the second floor.” Gordon explained as he pressed the down button calling the elevator. Why can’t we take the stairs? We’re only on the fourth floor. Gavin kept his opinion to himself though, and waited silently by Gordon. “You will be introduced in the meeting along with the other recent hires. Don’t worry though. It’ll be brief and relatively painless.” Gordon grinned and Tate politely chuckled. “They’ll just call your name and announce your position with the Client Services team.” A ding sounded before the elevator doors opened. The cab was crowded and Gordon fell silent when they entered.

Tate followed the crowd to the large cafeteria area the meeting was held in. The room was quickly filling. All the tables and chairs were occupied. Tate tucked himself into an empty space at the edge of the crowd near the front. His eyes roamed the room and he found Gordon seated at a table with what appeared to be other supervisors. He had noticed the management team tended not to dress as casually as the other employees.

Tate breathed deep, the smells of the crowded room assaulting his senses. The faint scent of his mate lingered in the air near him. He drew his eyebrows in confusion, and searched the area around him, looking for Gavin, when he felt a nudge in his side. He turned with a polite smile and familiar brown eyes met his own.

“Hey.” Gavin grinned at Tate. He leaned against the exposed brick wall near Tate, their shoulders almost touching.

“Hey.” A broad smile spread across Tate’s face. “I didn’t know you worked here.”

“Apparently.” Gavin teased. “So how was your first day?”

Tate took a quick look around, before turning back to Gavin. “Long and boring.”

Gavin chuckled. “I know. I think I actually fell asleep during some of those videos when I started.”

“Okay everyone. Thank you for coming.” The owner’s voice overrode the chatter echoing around in the room and the noise settled into silence. The meeting began and Tate tried to focus his attention on what was being said rather than the heat he could feel pulsing from the tempting body beside him. The meeting came to an end and the crowd started filing out.

“You done for the day?” Tate asked.

“Nah. I have a few more hours to put in. You?”

“Yeah. Gordon said I was done with training for the day. Thank fuck.”
“Lucky.” Gavin smiled at Tate. “I have to get back. Can I call you tonight?”

His smile was gentle and his heart was filled with excitement when he responded. “I’d like that.”

“Okay then. I’ll talk to you later.” Gavin’s smile turned to a full out grin. With one last glace, Gavin walked away, going back to work. Happiness radiated from Tate as he made his way to his truck. Both man and bear silently celebrated. Gavin was going to be theirs.

The day seemed even brighter as Tate drove home. He pulled his truck into the garage and entered his house. After changing clothes he surveyed the inside of the refrigerator and threw together several sandwiches. It was close to nine when his phone rang later that night.

He quickly answered when he saw Gavin’s name on the screen. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Gavin yawned into the phone. “Sorry about that. I meant to call earlier but I got caught at work answering a question.”

“No, it’s alright. I’m just sitting here watching TV anyway. Have you had dinner yet baby?”

“Yeah. I grabbed something on the way home. Not my favorite thing to do, but oh well.”

“How late do you normally work?”

“I work ten hour shifts, so normally eight to seven unless I work through my lunch break. It makes a long day but the three-day weekend is worth it.”

“That does sound nice.” Tate agreed.

“So, I was wondering…um, would you like go out Friday?” Gavin sounded hesitant and unsure.

“That sounds great, baby. What time?”

“Is seven okay?” He still sounded hesitant but a little more confident than he had.

“Seven is great, baby. I’ll pick you up?”

“Perfect.” Gavin’s relief was evident over the phone. “I’m sorry to cut it short Tate, but I’m exhausted.”

“It’s okay baby. I’ll talk to you later. Sleep good.”

“Night Tate.”

BIG thanks to Valkyrie for all of her hard work editing this chapter. Thank you for reading Chapter 9.