Direct Confusion - 24. Chapter 24

As the weather gets colder, things get easier. The weather stays crisp and cold, and we have very little rain, which means the ground is nearer frozen than it is muddy. While this means that we don’t come back from practice and matches painted brown, we are all sustaining a few more bruises from falling onto grass the approximate density of iron.

The soccer team wins our next match and loses the following one, though not by much, and to a team who even I admit are better than us. Jameson and Heather’s cheer routines get more and more elaborate at half time, and the football team win all three of their next games. I watch every game torn between fixating on the ball, on Derrick, and on Erin. Cherrie joins us in the stands and she, Jim and I cheer almost as loudly as the rest of the stadium when our team scores.

My mother is still enforcing the ‘no boyfriends over on a school night’ rule, and so the day of our first competitive swim meet comes around to find Erin and I sneaking into the pool at a stupidly early time of the morning.

“Are you ever going to give me my red speedos back?” I ask him as I strip off. I’ve got my green and yellow competition suit in my bag for later, and I’m wearing a pair in bright blue with a pale blue stripe down the side.

“No.” Erin’s gaze is fixed on my crotch as he looks at me. “You gotta come round and get them.”

“But every time I come round to get them.” I sidle up to him, wrapping my hands around his smooth, well-muscled torso. “I end up having to wash them.”

“Whose fault is that?” He cocks an eyebrow at me, and I push him into the pool before jumping in after.

We do a couple of laps, because it feels weird to be in the swimming pool and not do at least some actual swimming. I run through the day ahead, classes as normal, and then lunch in the weight lifting room. The swim team have fewer actual practices than soccer or football, which is why I am able to fit both into my schedule along with Advanced Placement classes, so we are all spending our lunch break together before skipping out on last period for practice and a decent warm up. I only have to miss study hall, so I will have a lot less catching up to do. The other team with be here at three and we hope to show them up on our home turf.

“So, how was your evening? You were pretty quiet on the phone.” Erin swims over to me and we move around each other like playful otters. It’s nice to have him so close and so undressed.

“Mom cooked yesterday. We finally ran out of sympathy food.” I take a breath, reminding myself that the death of my brother is not the end of the universe. Sometimes it feels like it might be. “She tried to make meatloaf; we all liked your one so much.”

“And?” Erin looks concerned.

“Pulpy cardboard. Salted pulpy cardboard. It was awful. Way worse than the ones she usually attempts.” I shrug. “Dad and I refused to eat it and ordered pizza.”

“Dude, that’s kind of harsh.” Erin shakes his head softly, his hands snaking across my lower abdomen. “Her cooking can’t be that bad.”

“Why do you think I have only ever invited you over for dinner and then ordered take-out?” I tread water and catch Erin by the hips. “She really is that bad.” I pull him up against my front. “I missed you last night.”

“Yeah?” Erin bites his lip. Already I can see him blushing, the deep pink rising across his neck and cheeks. Sometimes he is so easy to embarrass.

“Yeah. I had to spend a bit of time with that photograph and my right hand.” I whisper low in his ear, grinding my crotch against his. “I’m not the only one who looks damn fine those speedos.”

“Umm…” Erin is continuing to turn red, but his cock is making an excellent impression against mine.

“Do I not get to appreciate your fine ass in speedos too?” I reach around the squeeze his butt, but Erin kicks my shin and swims away towards the edge of the pool. “You cheeky sod!”

He’s not as fast as me, but every time I try to grab a foot or an ankle, he gets away. The boy is slippery as a fish. He laughs breathlessly, and I hoist myself out of the pool a fraction behind Erin, both of us sporting erections hardly hidden by our skimpy swim suits. I catch him by the bank of poolside showers, and his footing is insecure enough that he falls against the wall rather than run from me. I pin my boyfriend against the tile wall and have my hands pushing down the back of his speedo in two seconds.

We kiss hungrily, like we’ve not tasted each other in forever, and I get lost in the scent of him, all bright green apples beneath the chlorine of the pool. Erin’s fingers find the draw cord of my speedo, and I want his hands on my body. I grab his ass, half wanting to stay in this heightened state for as long as possible, and half wanting to spin him round and screw him senseless against the wall. His erection is still trapped by the tight fabric, and I can’t help but think it’ll be nice to have him being the one whimpering in pleasure as he comes inside his swim gear.

“FUCK!”

For half a heartbeat, I’m not sure that one of us didn’t just shout, and then, without removing our hands from their current not-safe-for-school locations, we both turn in the direction of the noise. Jim is standing at the poolside in his spare speedo, looking pale and angry.

“The fuck are you doing?!” We break apart quickly, and Erin hikes up his suit while I check that my erection is still hidden. It’s not, and I tuck my cock away as swiftly as possible.

“Jim, dude…” I try to placate him. “It’s really early…”

“Get out. Get the fuck outta my pool!”

“Not actually your pool…” Erin mutters. I glare at him quickly, because I doubt this is the best time to make that particular comment.

“GET OUT!”

“Jim, calm down buddy…” I move to lay a hand on his shoulder, but he slaps me away. Hard.

“Get your fucking faggot hands off me.” Jim snarls.

His words make me step back quickly. I have put up with a lot of shit from people, but I have never had to put up with any from my friends. And up until now, I still considered Jim to be a friend. Erin is silent, staggered by Jim’s hostile reaction, and I grab his hand and kiss his knuckles quickly.

“Go. I’ll meet you later.”

“But-”

“It’s OK Erie.” I caress his knuckles again, wanting to kiss away the lines of worry which mar his forehead. “I’ll sort it out. I love you.”

Jim looks a little like he might be sick as Erin turns and walks away. I round on Jim, angry fire blazing in my belly.

“JIM! What the fuck dude? That was so unnecessary!” I breathe deeply, trying to control my rage. I know what we were doing was vastly inappropriate, but it was still no call for Jim’s reaction.

He’s showing his true colours… my brain speaks up softly …for weeks you’ve been ignoring all his small slights. He’s not accepting like you thought he was.

“That is not something I or anyone else should ever have to see.” Jim snaps. “I want you out of here and out of the changing rooms before you can destroy anyone else’s innocence.”

“Oh, come on Jim. It’s no worse than you or any dozen other of the guys have done.”

“With a girl!” Jim looks like he’s on the verge of wanting to hit me. My friend might be strong, but we both know I’m more powerful.

“Do not throw that shit around here Bryan.” My use of his last name is anything other than respectful. “The fuck has been up with you lately?”

“Me? What’s been up with you more like. You’re not the same since you’ve been with him.” He growls the syllable referring to my boyfriend with a tone of disgust.

“I’ve been happy!” I snap.

“You were happy before!”

“I was a good actor before!” I clench my fist, and then slowly and deliberately loosen my grip, forcing my muscles to relax. “What’s this really about Jim? I really am sorry you walked in and saw that, but we genuinely didn’t think anyone else was going to be in this early.”

“You and him, you should not be…” Jim grimaces, he looks like he’s going to be sick. “Touching and kissing and stuff in school.”

“He’s my boyfriend Jim. I am gay.”

“It’s disgusting.” Jim tone is flat, and leaves no room for misinterpretation. “I think you should go.”

“Jesus Jim…” I shake my head in disappointment. “I’ll see you at practice.” Jim mutters something indistinguishable as I leave, and I decide I don’t care what it was.

Erin is gone, and even though I smell of chlorine I strip off, get dressed, and head out into the school. It is still incredibly early, and I find Erin waiting for me at the far end of the sports corridor, looking visibly upset.

“Babe?”

“Hey.” He sniffs. “Sorry.”

“Whoa, Erie…” I wrap my arms up under his and wrap around his ribcage. “Don’t you dare be sorry for that asshole.”

“I thought he was your friend.” Erin wipes his face with one hand and leaves a damp patch on my shirt.

“Yeah, I thought he was too.” I slink my arm around my boyfriend’s waist. “You wanna go sit on the cars and wait for the guys to show? Might not look like we were quite so keen to get to school, eh?”

I do not want to think about what Jim said as we walk through the school parking lot. He is a young man who for the last three years I have considered a close personal friend as well as a teammate. I knew he was having problems adjusting to there being a guy in my life who I cared about, but what he said by the poolside doesn’t match up with a little issue. What he said in the pool would be enough to make me hit him if he hadn’t until that point been my friend. I need counsel, and Erin does not seem like the right person to give it right now.

He sits on the hood of my car and I stand in between his knees with my hands on his waist.

“You OK?”

He nods, but sniffs, and still looks like he might cry.

“Erie?”

“I just really hoped I wouldn’t have to put up with that here.” Erin rubs his eyes, and then looks apologetic. “The jocks at our last school were like that all the time. They would say that shit about Jame, because he was a gymnast…” Erin smiles quickly, “and he is the way he is. But they’d say it around me, and I swear some of them knew, but weren’t sure enough to come right out and accuse me.”

“Being gay is not a crime someone can accuse you of Erin.”

“I know!” He grits his teeth. “You’ve been accepted up until now; you don’t know what it’s like to watch your back every day. I don’t want to go back to that.”

I decide now is not a good time to point out that, despite being the luckiest gay kid I know, I’ve still had my share of crap thrown at me. Most of the idiots have graduated now, and the rest had to shut up when I became soccer captain and could beat them all soundly into a pulp. Instead, I wrap my arms around him and we wait for the others to arrive.