Dance Lessons - 3. Never Again

Cassie and KC decided to have a nice day at the beach

Never Again

“Whatcha doing with that blanket? Why are you taking it outside anyway?” KC looked up from watching Gator Man on television curious to see what Cassie was up to.

Cassie stopped before opening the front door. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m going to the beach for a few hours. Jo Ann has to work as usual and she told me to find something to do so we wouldn’t be at each other’s throat all day. She’s tired of hearing you complain about how I mistreat you when she’s not around.”

“You do mistreat me. Just like last weekend when you almost drowned me in the bathtub.” KC was now facing Cassie, bringing his legs up on the couch and pulling his knees to him, wrapping his arms around them and propping his head there trying to look vulnerable and abused. “You had no reason to hold my head under water until I almost choked to death.”

Cassie looked at him in disbelief. “You put your two turtles in my bath water. What would you have done if you’d sat down on a turtle in your bubble bath? The poor thing could’ve been killed on top of me having a heart attack.”

“There was plenty of room for them in there with you. How was I to know that you were going to slide all the way to the back before sitting down in the water? They needed a bath also. Anyway, that was no a reason to hold my head under water.” KC glared at Cassie.

“KC, you’re lucky I didn’t drown you. I was standing in the tub, naked and screaming, and all you could do was run your hands around underneath the soap bubbles looking for those damn turtles. You didn’t even tell me what I’d sat on until you pulled one from my bath water.” Cassie just shook her head.

KC raised his head and asked, “What about when you called the cops two weeks ago and almost got me arrested? For no reason.”

“No reason my ass. You ask a blind man in the park to hold onto your dog while you went to get an ice cream cone. What was on the end of the leash? A poor little deer that you caught to play a trick on the poor old man. When the police got there, the poor man didn’t even know what they were trying to tell him. He even got belligerent with them because he thought they were trying to take your damn dog away. That’s pretty mean KC and you came home laughing about it.” Cassie glared back at KC.

“That old man looks bored as dirt sitting on that same bench every Saturday. I just thought I’d give him a little excitement.”

“You almost got him excited alright. The poor guy almost got arrested for hitting one of the policemen with his cane. It wasn’t funny at all. They should’ve arrested you instead of warning you.” Cassie started toward the door.

KC jumped to his feet. “How about I go to the beach with you? You shouldn’t go alone with all the crazies out there.”

“You did not just say that! There’s not many out there crazier than you. And no, you’re not coming to the beach with me. No way. I’m taking a good book and relax on my blanket under an umbrella and listen to the ocean.”

KC’s voice stopped her. “If you don’t let me go, I’m going to tell Jo Ann that you got two speeding tickets in the same day and that the postmistress has been hitting on you and even gives you stamps instead of charging you for them.”

“You sneaky bastard. How did you know any of that?” Cassie was livid

“Joe, the patrolman who gave you the tickets happens to give great blowjobs also. He told me about some wild idiot in a red jeep that got two tickets in one day for speeding. He even said you offered him a free massage if he didn’t give you a ticket. As far as the postmistress, Mary Benson, which is the bartender’s Aunt down at the Hanging Dong told Ben, the bartender that she saw the postmistress openly flirting with you and had witnessed her giving you stamps on two different occasions.”

“Go get ready and hurry your ass up KC. If you breathe one word of any of that to Jo Ann, I’ll go to the Hanging Dong and announce that you blew the janitor at the clinic where I work and was caught in the supply room with one of the married male nurses. Are we clear? I’m sure the guy that hangs out there that thinks he’s your significant other wouldn’t want to hear that shit. Isn’t his name Brian?”

“OK, ok. Let me change into some shorts and grab a beach towel. Won’t take but a minute.” KC hurried to his room.

***

Ten minutes later KC emerged wearing sparkling pink flip flops, a pink silky tank top and a pair of torn shorts that was practically crotch less because of the gaping hole they had in them. He carried a rainbow colored beach towel, his ensemble completed with purple framed sunglasses. “I’m ready Cassie Poo.”

“Do not call me Cassie Poo and go put on some underwear. You talk about attracting crazies. With that thing dangling for all the world to see, we’ll be fighting male and female crazies. What are you thinking wearing something like that out in public? Now go!” Sighing angrily, she flopped down on the floor to wait.

Five minutes later, she looked up and anyone else would’ve been shocked, but she just shook her head and got up. “I can’t believe you put on neon pink fishnet underwear for the entire world to see. Well, don’t just stand there, let’s go. We’ve wasted enough of this beautiful day.” Opening the door, she was surprised to see Jo Ann standing there, posed to turn the door knob.

After pecking Cassie on the cheek she exclaimed, “How sweet! The two of you are going to the beach together. It’s about time ya’ll decide to get along.”

“KC didn’t want me to go alone, but now you can go with me and he can stay here.” Cassie voice held a pleading note.

KC glared at her but then smirked when he heard Jo Ann’s reply.

“Oh, no! I wouldn’t think of messing up ya’ll’s day. I think it’s wonderful that the two of you are going to spend some quality time together. Now get going and I’ll just catch up on a little housework and fix a special dinner tonight in celebrations of the two of you turning over a new leaf.” Jo Ann gently shoved the two of them out the door. “In fact, I think that every other Saturday the two of you should plan to spend it together doing something you both like to do.”

Cassie walked toward her jeep knowing she was defeated.

“I think that’s exactly what we should do.” KC patted Cassie’s ass gently.

“Over my fucking dead body you pervert.” Cassie glared at KC as he got into the jeep. “Buckle up Bozo. I’m fixing to take you for the ride of your life.”

Backing out of the driveway, Cassie waved sweetly at Jo Ann as she ground her teeth together and promptly elbowed KC in the side when she saw the smirk that still graced his face. Turning onto the road, she gassed the jeep, almost giving him whiplash.

KC glanced in the rearview mirror a moment later and fell into a fit of giggles.

“What the hell are you giggling about?” Looking in the mirror, Cassie screamed in exasperation. “Of all the fucking luck in the world. Now I’m going to get another ticket on top of having to spend the rest of the damn day with you…on no I’m not.” Cassie looked at KC with a ‘I’m gonna kill you if you don’t do as I say’ look. “Get out and blow me out of this ticket big boy. Now!”

“Done.”

Cassie tried not to watch what was going on in the rearview mirror. A few minutes later KC climbed back into the jeep and wiped his mouth on his beach towel.

“Let’s go to the beach, Cassie Poo. Days a wastin.”

Pulling slowly back onto the road, Cassie thought, “At least he’s good for something.”