Rooted in My Heart - 9. Sparks Fly

“So, everything okay with you? You logged off pretty quick from our chat last night,” Tanis inquired as we settled into a steady pace on our walk home. The miserable heat from summer had begun to dissipate in the last few days, and a soothing breeze blew my bangs out of my eyes. A cool blue sky was painted above us and a long, gray sidewalk stretched in front of us.

I scratched my neck and fidgeted with my backpack strap, casting Tanis an uncertain expression. I wasn’t sure how to describe my father — or if I even wanted to. But everyone dealt with some degree of parent problems, right? I could be vague.

“Oh, yeah. I just didn’t finish my chores and my dad got mad. You know the drill,” I answered, hoping that would suffice.

Tanis hummed for a moment, and I noticed he seemed to retreat inwardly. It was then that I realized I had never really heard him talk about his own parents — let alone whether he had any siblings.

“What about you?” I chose my next words carefully. “Are you… close to anyone in your family?” He kept his head downcast and picked at his lip before responding.

“My sister and I get along, more or less. She’s older and hovers over me too much,” he said, chuckling to himself wryly. “But she’s all I really have besides my grandpa.”

Tanis spared me a quick glance and gave a small, reserved smile. He seemed… sad. And it was a sadness that I recognized. Even though we might have different circumstances, I could sense the underlying loneliness, and I mentally reached out to give him a hug.

I slowed our pace down, taken aback by what he had said, and asked, “What… you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to, but… you okay?” He peeked at me from under his wisps of golden hair and nodded.

“That’s what my move was about. Thankfully, we didn’t move far and got to stay at Old Creek High,” he said. “I would’ve missed Cooper and my other friends.” He turned and walked at a normal pace again, encouraging me to keep up and leaving it at that. I assumed he would tell me more when and if he was ready… and I supposed I might tell him about my dad one day, too.

“And me, I hope?” I asked curiously, but mainly to tease him and lighten up the conversation.

“Oh, well I’m not sure I’d miss the one distracting me and tanking my Spanish grade,” he said, flashing me a genuine grin. I narrowed my eyes at him and poked his ribcage to get back at him. “Ow! Yes, yes of course I would.” His cheeks glowed with a rosy tint, and he clumsily slowed down and pointed at the townhouse next to us. “This is my stop.”

I eyed him for a moment and opened my mouth to say something, but he beat me to it.

“Thanks for walking me home, dude,” he said, and he gave me a small wave before hesitating whether to turn toward his door or not. Evidently, he decided not — and he leaned forward and hugged me around the neck briefly.

“Of course,” I answered, trying not to entirely short circuit as I processed the conversation and him hugging me. He smelled like baby powder deodorant and vanilla and cinnamon — maybe a nice lotion or soap. And his touch was light, but made me feel warm. I raised my arms and slowly wrapped them around his middle. He was thin, but he felt soft and comfortable to hold against me. His hair grazed against my cheek, and I could tell that he was smiling — even though I couldn’t see it myself.

He told me he was looking forward to tomorrow, then he backed away, granting me another smile before he turned to unlock his front door and head inside.

I forced myself to slowly keep walking. How I got one foot in front of another — without tripping — and made it home, I had no idea. I had no memory of the rest of the way there and to my room, where I collapsed on my bed and fixed my stare on the ceiling.

Did that really happen? Did he actually hug me? And did we… bond?

Denika would freak out when I told her. And this was just today — I still had our ‘sort of date’ hang out tomorrow. Wait… could it qualify as a date? Should I ask him if it was a date?

No — that would probably end badly.

I sighed wistfully and rolled over to hug my pillow. The memories of today replayed in my mind, and my chest felt light. In fact, I almost didn’t care whether Tanis wrote the note at this point if things were going this well. He obviously suspected and seemed okay with me liking him, right? Shouldn’t that be a green light?

I heard the front door open and close, and laughter echoed through the house from downstairs. My ears perked up as I recognized what seemed to be the voices of my mom and aunt.

Oh right. I needed to strangle both of them. My mom was on my list for gossiping, and my aunt for nearly blowing things for me with Tanis — or at least embarrassing me half to death.

I rolled off my bed and padded down the stairs, approaching the source of the voices.

“...And so I told him heck no! Can you believe that?” Aunt Lisa asked my mom. They both chuckled for a moment until they noticed me walking into the kitchen. Aunt Lisa screamed excitedly and ran over to give me a tight hug. “Oh you won’t believe who I ran into today, sister dear. I got to meet him!” She gave a pointed and knowing look to my mom then poked my side.

“Ow! Hey!” I responded, swatting her arm away. I directed my glare at my mom as she leaned against the counter, eyeing us both curiously.

“Hi hun. Want something to drink or a snack?” she asked and shot me a smile, then turned to Aunt Lisa. “And aw did you really?” Aunt Lisa beamed and raised her hands up, as if she were about to recount a grand story, but I cut her off.

“No, I’m okay — and why on Earth does she know, mom?” I asked. I was happy that my aunt was supportive — and apparently over-excited — but still, I wanted to tell people in my own time. It was my secret.

“Sorry Dilly Bear. Your mom just sorta let it slip out on accident, saying she was excited to meet your new boyfriend. She didn’t mean any harm, hun,” Aunt Lisa interjected, attempting to comfort me. She poked my side again. “I told her to do a better job not saying anything in the future already, kid. Us adults aren’t perfect and don’t have all the answers. Just know we both love you.”

I sighed and nodded to myself before giving Aunt Lisa another hug. What’s done was done — as long as no one blabbed anything else. I knew they meant well, though. Pulling up a chair, I sat by the kitchen counter and decided to try my luck asking just what my mom had said about Tanis and what my Aunt Lisa thought about getting to meet him.

Aunt Lisa continued her story where I cut her off, saying, “They were both so cute, Diana. Tanis looked like a lovesick puppy, and Dylan was looking at him like he was his world.” I flushed at her words and looked down at my feet. She poked my side again lovingly and asked, “Are you sure you’re not dating, yet?” I managed to squeak out a ‘no’ and felt my face grow even hotter.

“Do we really look like that? Does he?” I asked sheepishly. Aunt Lisa laughed and leaned against the counter next to my mom, who looked like she was fangirling in the corner.

“Ohhh yes. Yes to both of you. It was adorable,” she answered matter-of-factly.

“Aw I’m glad. I can’t wait to meet him tomorrow. My baby’s first boyfriend,” my mom said. She choked up a little at the edge of her words and I noticed that her eyes were teary. “I’m happy for you, kid.” She pushed herself away from the counter and came to give me a hug as well.

“Thank you. But… it’s not official, yet,” I whined, and both my mom and aunt smiled and decided to leave the subject alone after that.

As for why my aunt was there and not at her meeting, apparently it had been canceled and she decided to pop in to spend time with us instead. It was a welcome surprise; I knew it made my mom happy as well. Plus, it meant my aunt insisting to call and order pizza for us all for dinner — which was an awesome treat. She was the best.

But as I reached the top of the stairs after excusing myself to go do my homework, I heard my mom thank my aunt for dinner… saying that money was tight. And it clicked for me.

Aunt Lisa was the best… and I decided to pick up an extra shift each week at Perks.

***

Today was the day. The day. The volleyball game and my ‘sort of’ date with Tanis. To say I was nervous was an understatement. But I also felt a surge of confidence in knowing that… there just had to be something there now. Some spark between us. I could feel it in the air near him, and if my Aunt Lisa and Denika were to be believed, Tanis could see and feel it too.

My mind wandered throughout the morning; I was either obsessing about how tonight with Tanis would go… or what to say to Cooper. Denika teased me for spacing out and even flicked my forehead to ‘get me out of the clouds,’ but hey, there was a lot to consider! After what Cooper had first told me, then Megan’s input, and running into Cooper and Tanis together — plus learning that they were best friends, what on Earth was I supposed to think? The whole situation was a mess. And even though I would be okay at this point if Tanis hadn’t written the note, I still wanted to know who did. While Cooper was currently the prime suspect, I wasn’t sold that he had truly written it — there were just too many inconsistencies for it to make sense.

Marching into biology, I immediately approached my lab station and slammed my arms on the table in front of Cooper’s seat, eyeing him carefully.

“Please, Cooper? Tell me what you know. I’m going crazy, dude,” I pleaded. He stopped mid-sentence in a conversation with Michael and looked up at me worriedly. Michael stifled a giggle and got up, saying he would get a drink of water before class started. He gave Cooper a thumbs up and the student vice president just rolled his eyes and returned his attention to me. Around us, a few other students were streaming in and chatting at their stations, and I lowered my voice and asked him again.

“Okay, sit down. Please,” he requested. I complied and felt my determination waiver as he ran his hand through his hair and sighed. Composing himself, he asked, “So what do you know? Did you ask Megan?”

After a beat of silence, I nodded and said, “Yes, she told me… you wrote it, Coop.” He leaned back in his chair, hand holding the desk to keep steady, and I heard his back crack loudly. I flinched and swallowed. “Did you?” Cooper fixed me with an intense stare, boring a hole through me as he crossed his arms.

And after a moment, “No.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I didn’t write it.”

“You didn’t?” I asked incredulously.

“Correct. Gold star!” he told me. His face remained serious, and he studied me as my shoulders deflated. “Look, I…,” he hesitated, “I know who did, though.” I raised my eyes from the table and made eye contact with him again, wondering where this was going. I was in no mood for another step to this scavenger hunt.

“Really?”

“Yes. I did,” he replied. I cocked my head at him, then rested my chin in my hand as I leaned against the desk.

“You… what? I have no patience for riddles, Cooper. You didn’t write it, but you did?”

“The words were sort of mine, and I physically wrote the note,” he said, keeping his eyes locked on mine. “Would that… bother you? If it were from me?” He gave me a soft and subtle smile. My eyes widened and I broke our eye contact, unsure how to react.

“O-oh. Well, I… no, it wouldn’t bother me, Coop. You’re a good guy, but…,” I began, trailing off. “I… I have some feelings for someone else and it wouldn’t be fair to you… it’s not a no, I guess. Just… not right now. I wouldn’t be ready for that… I don’t want to lead you on,” I finished, flashing him a sympathetic smile. I didn’t want to hurt him, and he was really attractive and sweet, but my heart wasn’t feeling it and I wasn’t sure if it would be in the future.

But Cooper looked… happy, rather than upset by my words.

“Does he make you happy?” he asked, warmly. I stared at him curiously and nodded. “Good. Just… don’t hurt him.” He uncrossed his arms and pointed at me. “I wrote the note on someone’s behalf. So yes, I did write it. But not from me.”

I sat back in my seat and absorbed the new information. He… wrote it on someone’s behalf? So he didn’t like me, but he knew who did? But that brought me back to my first question when I walked in the classroom: why was I being sent on a goosechase, and could Cooper just spill the beans already? I rubbed the bridge of my nose and sighed.

“So, did you write it for—”

“Ask him yourself,” Cooper cut me off, smiling. “I think you already know.”

“You were right. Hard to keep a secret from you, after all,” Michael interjected, holding a cold water bottle up against the back of my neck to freak me out. I swatted at him and he laughed as he pulled up a seat. “But I guess I did help you some.” Cooper side-eyed him and he shrugged.

“So, you — you both — you know—” I stuttered, trying to make sense of the situation while rubbing the cool spot on my neck.

My face drained of color and I looked at them both from across the table. Had I just… outed myself to both of them? Or did they already know? I assumed Cooper was gay already based on the info Megan shared, but was he really? And did Michael already know that about Cooper…? It felt so… normal for once just to talk to Cooper about this stuff as if it was a typical teen romance. Maybe I let that feeling cloud my mind too much. What if they told others about me, and what if everyone found out?

The vice president studied me for a moment and leaned in close, beckoning me to meet him halfway. He cupped his hand to my ear and whispered, “We’re dating. I won’t tell if you don’t.” He backed up and thumbed at Michael, who raised an eyebrow in question. Cooper smirked and sat back in his chair.

Well, I hadn’t expected that — or any of what Cooper had said, for that matter. So… the note was meant for me… on behalf of Tanis? And Cooper and Michael were an item and were… helping us?

“But I don’t offer my information for free,” Cooper said, leaning forward again. Michael rolled his eyes and pulled his binder out of his backpack for class.

“Is that the only reason you decided to tell him?” Michael mused. Cooper scoffed and focused his attention back on me.

“I…well… congratulations?” I finally answered, unsure how to even continue the conversation. I was happy for the both of them — of course — but I was in shock and dealing with a lot of whiplash. “And what do you want…?”

Michael shook his head, then ignored the both of us and began filling in some questions he hadn’t finished on his homework sheet. Cooper pointed at me.

“I need your help setting up for Homecoming. Or — well, think of it this way — you get to help me set up for Homecoming!” he said, trying to sell the news to me like a grand adventure, then fidgeted with the edge of the desk. His face sank and took on a more anxious expression. “I really could use the help, Dylan. I’ve been juggling too much, lately… and Michael is busy with practice after school, and—”

I watched him grow more distressed and raised my hand to tell him to stop talking, telling him it was the least I could do for him. He thanked me and asked me to meet him the next morning at Perks to go over the plan for the dance, and I assured him I was available.

“I have to work in the afternoon, anyway, so it works out,” I told him.

Michael just shook his head again and bid us both “Good luck” as our teacher walked in the room, cutting us off. But I had far too much on my mind to focus on a bio lesson.

It was going to be a long, long day, wasn’t it?

***

Eden ducked around a corner to avoid me as I made my way to the cafeteria for lunch. I hadn’t seen much of her since I had let her down a few days before. She probably still needed time — days, weeks, months — to get to a place where we could get along again, if at all. If I could make it better, I would, but I knew I was the cause. And I didn’t want to bring her more pain… so I gave her the space she needed.

My eyes scanned the many tables in the room as I arrived, hoping to catch a glimpse of Denika. She was not going to believe this.

Now, I couldn’t exactly tell her or anyone else about Cooper and Michael — I’d hate to out anyone else, let alone the student vice president and cause the student government a scandal — but there was a lot I could tell her. And boy did I need a sounding board. My last twenty-four hours had been a whirlwind, and it was beginning to feel like I was only in the eye of the storm… with more to come on the other side.

She was busy chatting away with Megan when I found her, which worked out even better, and I dragged the two of them to a private corner of the lunch area. But I wasn’t a terrible friend — at least I hoped — and I noticed they both seemed stressed out. Perhaps we were in similar boats.

“Is everything okay with you two?” I asked, sitting down at an empty table. Denika sighed dramatically and Megan shifted in her seat. She poked her school lunch slop and made a gagging face.

“I decided to try out for dance, and Kyle hasn’t asked me to Homecoming, yet,” Denika said, holding up a finger for each of her recounted woes. “Plus, my mom has been busy with the littles so it’s been a bummer of a week.” She tapped her nails on the table and frowned. “Meanwhile, Megan here got her first assignment in yearbook to cover the dance.”

“And… that’s a bad thing because?” I questioned, unsure why congratulations weren’t in order. The Homecoming coverage was sure to be a big section for the yearbook — and one of the most important assignments. Megan cast me an exasperated glare. “I forgot you were in yearbook. Making use of the writing skills?”

She picked at her food again before groaning, answering, “Yes. It’s not poetry, but I like to write in general.” Leaning her arm on the table, she rested her chin in her hand and continued, “But now I’ll be too busy to get a hot date.” Denika cackled and Megan pouted.

“Ah. I see,” I said, trying to stifle a laugh.

“I would say we’re all single pringles for now, but that might not be the case soon for you, huh?” Denika asked, winking at me. Megan looked confused and pointed to me and then Denika, as if to ask if she knew about me and the note mystery. I nodded.

“Since the both of you know about ‘you know who’ and the note mystery… yes, I have some news, actually,” I said quietly, trying to hide my embarrassment. Denika laughed at my expression and turned to Megan.

“He’s been quite the detective this week,” she stated. I rolled my eyes and continued to relay the latest news about my walk home with Tanis and what Cooper had told me — minus his dating status.

Once I finished, both of them were fangirling like my mom and Aunt Lisa. It was weird, but nice in a way — to have both of them rooting for me.

“Fuck, dude. Sounds like you need to talk to him and confess tonight,” urged Megan. “Just think, you could say goodbye with a big kiss goodnight!” Denika turned to Megan and made kissy faces for emphasis. I flushed and looked away, then buried my head in my hands. Megan took a sip of her chocolate milk and fought to hold back a sly grin as she prodded further, asking, “So… who’s going to top?”

Denika nearly choked on her food with laughter, and I was mortified.

After suffering through a few more rounds of teasing throughout lunch — and with Megan during art class — it was nearly time for the volleyball game. But first, I would see Tanis in Spanish. Was I ready? No, probably not, but I had to be. I felt jittery as I made my way to class, and stopped to check my hair in the school bathroom on the way.

Cooper’s words and the reality of the note had begun to really sink in, and I felt simultaneously both more confident than ever… and completely lost on how to proceed. It was akin to winning a video game and then going ‘okay, now what?’

Cooper and Tanis were engaged in a lively discussion again when I rounded the corner, which knocked me out of my haze. The pair seemed excited — Cooper was likely passing along a hint of good news to him. The vice president spared me a glance and flicked his eyes back to Tanis and smiled in my direction. Tanis was next to notice me, and greeted me with a small smile of his own.

“Well, I’m off. Good luck scoring tonight!” Cooper said cheerfully. Tanis’s eyes widened before he continued, saying, “I’m sure you’ll have a good game. Bye guys — see you later, Dylan.” He grinned knowingly at us and headed to his next class.

Cooper might have been spending too much time with Megan or vice versa, with teasing like that.

But we both brushed him off, and made our way into Spanish. And as we sat in the corner for yet another day — our corner — the unspoken truth was that our first date… was just beginning.