GFD 10: Nights Eternal - 15. Chapter 15

Again, the car I was leaning against was rapidly SNATCHED up into the air by the invisible monster, and carried off into the dark sky above! I fell backwards a bit, and looked upwards to see the giant metal slab being dropped down right on TOP of me! I quickly rolled to the side...once, twice, three times...feeling my heart race as the car fell upside down, missing me by inches! Debris and dust fell over my shoulders, and with a cough, I stumbled to my feet to look for more cover.

Like a dark winged predator, the Beast flew overhead. Searching the skies did me no good. I kept my eyes focused on the ground instead...seeing only brief glimpses of its shadow as it screamed past me. There was another silence. And I scanned the area around me. A dark shape slid by me on the ground beneath my feet, and I snapped my neck to the right trying to follow its flight pattern. But it was gone before I could even focus on it. Again, I heard the flapping of wings, and felt the breeze as it flew past me. I knew that I wouldn't be able to hide. I couldn't. So I tried a different approach.

I stood up on my feet, climbing onto the hood of the car next to me, and I shouted up at the sky. "I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE!!! I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!!!" There was a loud rumble of thunder, and flashes of lightning that blazed through the murky clouds above. "DO YOU HEAR ME??? I SAID, I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!!!" Then a sonic BOOM of a demonic roar scared the living shit out of me, vibrating in the pit of my stomach, and startling me so badly that I lost my balance and fell off of the car! My hands were shaking, my pulse pounding so hard that I could hear it in my ears. Whatever this thing was, it knew what my fears were...and it obviously wasn't fooled.

I scrambled to my feet, and brushed myself off, my senses trying to lock in on everything around me. My fists were tightened, almost to the point where my knuckles were white with fear. But I attempted to hold my ground. Even if it was on shaky legs.

"Mmph!!! Mmph!!!" I heard a muffled sound behind me, and turned to see what it was. Inside one of the cars in the parking lot, there was movement. Like...like someone tied up and gagged in the front seat. I moved closer to investigate, still looking above me, just in case. And as I got closer, I saw...Dion? Dion had been bound with wire so tightly that it was cutting his wrists. Blood trickled down onto his lap from his sliced wrists, and his eyes pleaded for me to help him. "MMPHH!!!!!" His cries got more desperate, and all of the sudden...that car, too, was catapaulted from its sitting position, and thrust far off into the distance with Dion inside! I watched as the car landed nearly 100 yards away from me, crashing down hard and bursting into flames on contact!

It's not REAL, dammit!!! It's a fucking trick! He's using your pain against you, Justin! Fight it! Stay focused! But the harder I tried to concentrate, the harder the power of this dream world pulled at my reality. MAKING me see what it wanted me to see. FEEL what it wanted me to feel. It was like being sucked into a cyclone with only loose blades of grass to anchor you to the ground. The Beast was much stronger now. There was no hiding from its influence anymore, t had found me completely unprotected now...and it was taking full use of that opportunity. Another loud shriek pierced the sky, and I heard muffled cries coming from a number of other cars around me as well. In the front seat of every car was a friend, a relative, someone who was a part of my life at one time or the other. Bryson, Jenna, Trevor, Richie, Xairen, Gyro, Dizz...and they were all in pain. Crying out for me to help them while the tightly wrapped wire on their wrists and ankles cut deep into them with every struggle. Their screams of agony began to weaken me from the inside. I spun around in slow circles...not knowing what to do. I couldn't save them all. I couldn't. They battled for my attention, needing me, begging me, and it overwhelmed me to the point where I was paralyzed from moving at all. The creature's shadow covered me as it swooped down once again, and snatched up a car with Jeremy, the blood dealer, inside. It flung it as far off into the distance as it could, and I heard him shout as it flipped over and exploded in a fiery wreck. I had to do something! I had to move...before I lost ALL of my friends to this menacing darkness!

I tried to run forward, but the once solid concrete beneath my feet became soft like gelatin. I felt my feet sink into this coagulated mass of burning hot tar, wisps of smoke rising up around me as I struggled to move against it. Then...I saw a car with Gyro inside, and another one with his sister Rain, get swept up into the air as well, colliding in mid air and falling to the ground in pieces. I shouted outloud, still fighting to move forward one step at a time. The dream had it's claws deep in my mentality now, and the pain I felt was getting worse. More muffled cries forced me to look behind me, and I saw my mother trying to push her way out of the car door. She was rocking back and forth, cutting herself up horribly while trying to escape her fate. "MOM!!!!" I screamed, now having to turn back the way I came in the muck and push my way over to see if I could save her. I heard the screams of others behind me, and Bryson's car was suddenly lifted and tossed as well. Then Jenna's. Then Dash's. I heard them slam into the ground and explode, the screams of my friends slowly murdering me inside. The fire and smoke from all the destruction began to pollute the air around me with the pungent aroma of burnt tires and roasted flesh, quickly turning to ash. It choked me, clouding my vision, and the heat from the toxic mud surrounding my feet began to burn and sting with an even greater fury. But I kept moving towards my mother. I HAD to reach her! I HAD to! I'm almost there! ALMOST.... "Mom! Mom...I'm coming!!!"

But it was too late. The Beast waited for me to get almost close enough to touch the side door...and then lifted it up right in front of me. The shadow carried it so high in the air that it was almost out of sight, and then let it come crashing to the ground...upside down...with her arms still hanging out of the window.

I fell to my knees, my heart collapsing in on itself. The pain was so harsh that the tears wouldn't even come at first. I just stared at her hands...crushed...burning...broken. I felt the tar burning my legs, but was numb to the sensation. All time stopped at once, and I could see faint flashes of my mother and I, sharing lost moments in daylight. I remembered her smile, her laugh, her warm caress. Despite all of her troubles and all of her flaws, her love for me was infinite. Even though I never gave her the credit she deserved for it. And now? She was gone. Just...gone. The flames of the car heated my face, a soft wind blowing the dark smoke in my face, and I rocked back and forth slightly on my knees. The tears came freely once I was able to mentally process what had just happened, and my vision left me as they poured out in buckets. I couldn't save her. I couldn't save anybody. They were all gonna die, and it was MY fault. I brought them into this. I hurt them! I didn't MEAN to, but I did!

However, as the fire blazed in front of me, my mothers once soft hands turning to blistered flesh in front of my very eyes, her hair almost completely gone, I felt a bubble building in the center of my chest. An incredible pressure that could be held back no longer. I found myself experiencing a level of rage that threatened to tear a whole in the whole world around me. My teeth gnashed together, my fists tightened up, and I was instantly swept with an uncontrollable fever. I was nearly blind with anger, and as my muscles tensed tightly around my emotions, I knew I was on the a verge of a tantrum so severe that no creature living would be able to escape my wrath.

I jumped up to my feet, and started to walk forward. Pushing so hard with every psychotic step that the unstable surface beneah me couldn't hold me back any longer. It couldn't even slow me down. As the creature grabbed up a car with Kid inside of it, I sprung into the air and grabbed hold of it, pulling it out of the Beast's grasp and bringing it back to the ground in one piece. It landed with a loud crash, but even though two of the tires popped and the windshield cracked, at least Kid was safe. It roared again, diving down to snatch a car with Richie inside....and I sped over to pull that one from its grasp as well, landing with the same result. No more of this 'slaughter of the innocent' bullshit! If this thing wants a piece of me, let him come TAKE it! It tried its best to reach for more cars, its amazing speed and strength nearly beating me to the punch every time. But I was STRONGER, FASTER, than it ever could be! Not for myself, but for them. For ALL of them!

It was then that I saw Taryn in the car in front of me, with the Beast soaring towards it at top speed. For this bastard to even bring Taryn into this horror...was a MISTAKE! It's LAST mistake!!! Before the creature could even get its claws sunken into the twisted metal enough to lift it, I soared over the roof of the car and brutally tackled the invisible creature to the ground on its back! The both of us fell into a deep puddle of molten concrete, and I felt the burn of it as it splashed up around us! I held the monster down, pounding it as hard as I could with both fists as it growled and roared beneath me. Every emotion I had was on fire, and it flared ferociously with every punch. I hit it so hard that I thought my fist would go right through it and into the ground below. It spread its gigantic wings, splashing up hot tar and concrete onto my back and face, but I kept it pinned down and struck out with all the fury I had. I was hitting it soooo hard! Crying, shouting, feeling my only release from the pain in the constant battering of its dark form. I saw some of the creatures face become visible to my eyes. A small patch on its cheek, with dark obsidian flesh, crawling with maggots. I reached my fingers into that spot, digging into the sickening mush with a disgustingly wet 'squish', and the monster howled as I began to tear away at its organic disguise. More of its demonic face became visible as I ripped the invisible mask away with my bare hands, peeling it off of its face and neck like strips of raw meat! The Beast clawed at my eyes, its muscular tail attempting to curl up and whip me on the back of my shoulders, its fangs trying to bite off my fingers as I tore its second flesh away. But I held it down! I held that son of a bitch DOWN, and I kept BEATING on it until my fists were covered in blood and maggots! I wouldn't stop! My tears began to burn hot and bleed from my eyes as my anger grew more and more severe....and I completely lost control! My body went on autopilot and refused to stop. "DIE!!! DIE!!! YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!! DIE!!!" I screamed, my arms sore from the exertion. And then...just as I felt that I had enough rage in me to finally finish the job and murder this vile creature once and for all...it laughed at me! I saw the Beasts eyes glowing bright red, and it grumbled with a deep growl in the center of its chest, becoming completely visible for the first time since our battle at the hospital. Thunder and lightning crashed overhead in the sky, and the clouds swirled up tightly...and upside down whirlpool of infinite darkness.

I looked down at the twisted grin of this creature, and it seemed completely satisfied with what it had just accomplished. I looked down at my hands, covered in blood, insect parts, and torn flesh, my arms still trembling from the impact. And my eyes burned with the same crimson glare that the beast had. My control had been lost. Gone. Erased entirely from my actions. I had completely given myself over to the dream, and the Beast had finally gotten all the power it needed. It had used my friends, my failures, my pains, my fears, my regrets, and every lost hope and broken dream that I had ever had, to break me down. It knew my weaknesses and vulnerabilities from the very beginning...it only needed to find the right combination of buttons to press in order to get me to give up my will to fight it anymore. Funny, out of all those painful memories...it was my love for Taryn that had become its greatest weapon against me. As I became aware of my outburst, my adrenaline still running hot from the fury of my attack, the Beast found its opening, and all of that emotional hatred seemed to pour out of the bottomless pit of its eyes, and into my heart endlessly. The darkness spread, and my body and soul inhaled deeply of its black plague. It was as if my spirit were sinking in quicksand, with no one there to save it. I could feel it. My heart growing colder by the second, my despair becoming so strong that I had no way to defend against it. I felt what I felt that last night on the end of that Pier...ready to let the ice cold waves of the lake swallow me whole, never to touch the surface or see the light of day ever again. The night when death was my only solution, and I welcomed it with open arms. My heart was breaking in two, and the illusion that it had blinded me with became more real, more sane, than my will to survive. I must admit, it was a rather intricate design that the Beast had woven out of my pain, and it orchestrated a symphony of lost emotions that left me dead inside. Zero tried to warn me that the Beast would use my own fears against me, and it was too late to regain my composure now. It was over. This world...this hellish fantasy...it was all his now.

Then, in a flash, the giant creature became aware of another presence in the world around us. Its focus left me for a brief moment, and suddenly I was yanked backwards with great force! I was thrown back almost 20 feet, and slid across the ground on my side for a moment before coming to a stop. I was badly hurt, but the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional damage that the Beast had done to me. That painful icy grip, that unavoidable sorrow, it began to fade slowly as the Beast had lost contact with me. I could feel myself feeling better little by little, my senses returning, my mind regaining its sanity. What the hell happened? I rolled over onto my back, and sat up. The Beast was on its feet again, its monsterous wings spread out to capacity, its roar reaching its maximum volume. And standing directly between the creature and me...was Comicality.

I didn't quite understand at first. Was this a part of the dream? Was I doing this? I scooted my feet up underneath me, and slowly tried to rise to my feet. "No, Justin...stay down." He told me, and I became still. There was something entirely different about his presence there. Something that stuck out, just as boldly as that of the Beast. And I knew that this was no fabrication of my own making. He was really HERE. I watched as he stood between us, the Beast appearing to be both enraged and delighted to see him standing before him at long last. It roared fiercely, the strength of its voice nearly causing Com's shadows to blow away from his body...but he stood his ground. "No more...." He said quietly. Calmly. The thick leathery wings of the monster spread out, nearly blocking out my vision of everything behind it. It's tail rose up in attack, its heaving chest expanding with every giant inhalation of this smokey air. But despite its thunderous barking and bellowing, Comicality remained unmoved. And then, as I watched...Com's arms stretched out slowly from his sides...and I saw his body darken right in front of my eyes. Even though he was already wrapped in shadows, the darkness that consumed him now seemed to be even more absent of light than my mind could conceive. I watched as wisps of shadows began to leave the Beast, sucked into this void in the center of Comicality's cloak. It shrieked, stomping its monsterous foot forward, hoping that its horror could frighten Com into losing his concentration, but he didn't. More of the Beast was being pulled into him, and the vaccuum got stronger. I felt my own pains and fears being sucked into it as well. My rage, my sadness, my doubt...they were somehow being sucked into the void, no longer weighing heavy on my mind. And the screams inside my head shot forward, wrapping themselves around him to become a part of his mask of shadows. He was taking it. He was taking it ALL!

As the Beast felt its energy slipping away, it howled one last time, and with a mighty push of its muscular legs...it leapt up into the air, and screamed its way into the dark storm cloud above. The lightning and thunder both blinding and deafening at the same time. It had shot up so fast that it nearly sucked up the entire scenery with it...but thankfully, it was gone.

I sat there amazed on the concrete. The burning wreckage of automobiles still crackling in the distance all around me. And I saw Comicality trembling slightly, as though he were trying to regain some level of stability. And after a moment or two of silence, his shadows brightened slightly, and he turned to face me. His eyes swirled in turmoil, the shadows surrounding him appearing almost chaotic this time. They didn't stand still. He had to fight just to keep them from constricting around his throat. But somehow, with some concentrated effort, he got them to calm down again. And he walked over to offer me a hand.

I took his hand, and he lightly pulled me to my feet. "Are you alright?"

"Y-y-yeah...I think." I said, almost dizzy from the spinning vortex in his eyes. "Is it...is it really you? How are you doing this?"

"The Beast has been searching through your mind in order to find me. It was getting too close to finding the right frequency. So I had to make sure that I found it first. I opened the gateway by giving it what it wanted all along...I allowed it to pull me in."

"But...you're really 'here'?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes." He said, and he brushed some of the dust off of my shoulders. I heard a crack of thunder overhead, and fearfully looked up to the sky. "It won't be back, Justin. I'm the one its looking for. And now that its found me...it will use everything its got to come after me."

"Why? Why does it want you?" I asked, and Com didn't answer me at first. "Com? What is it?"

"It is the demon in our world...the demon in ourselves...and the horror of the contradiction." He told me. "You felt it tonight, did you not? When the shadows attacked you?" I nodded. "It is the pain in the hearts of souls of others. The misery that feeds their fears, their doubts, their inability to ever change. That pain is constantly looking for someone to carry it. Those souls are constantly looking for someone to release them from that awful agony. For a long time now...I have been that person."

"I don't understand." I said. "Those screams...that pain...that cold...is that what it feels like to you too?"

"Yes."

I saw the shadows wrapping themselves around him, obscuring him from my sight completely, constantly moving and churning like a thick black soup. And I wondered if he was hearing those screams now. If they were clawing at him at this very moment the way they were clawing at me in the club. "Does it hurt?" I asked.

He looked me in the eye, and whispered, "Always...." He walked past me, looking at the wreckage around us. "The collected pain of others was my only way to help them. In some cases, to save them. But there is always a limit to how much one person can take. So I did the only thing I could. I supressed my own pains and fears, and I attempted to store them elsewhere. Hoping to keep them locked in the back of my mind. In my dreams." He turned to face me again. "I had always planned to come back and deal with those ordeals myself later...but the shadows demanded my attention. Those lost vampires grew in number, their problems more severe, until I was completely outnumbered and overwhelmed. I suppressed more of my memories, more of my own suffering, constantly tucking it away wherever I could." There was another strike of lightning from above, followed by a low rumble in the clouds. "Eventually...that pain became self aware. And it grew. It grew beyond my control, and it began to hunt me. Forcing me to see it. Forcing me to deal with it."

"The Beast...you mean it's...."

"It's me, Justin. It is the horror that I have been hiding from myself since I crossed over into this world of darkness. The pain that I pushed aside to deal with the pain of others." He said. "It has been hunting me for a long time now. Growing stronger with every disappointment, every heartbreak, every insult. And for the vampires I couldn't save...that pain increases tenfold. I knew that it would find me one day. And it would finish what it started years ago. It will consume all of the light that I have left, and it will find its peace at last. As will I."

"What do you mean, find your peace?" I asked, hoping he didn't mean what I thought he meant.

He looked at me for a sight pause, and told me, "Justin, we have dark work ahead of us. And until that work is finished, I will be here for you. You have my word."

"That doesn't answer my question!" I said louder. "What do you MEAN by 'finding your peace'!"

"Justin..." He began, putting a hand on my shoulder. "...While being a vampire might stop you from aging, it does not stop you from getting 'old'." He said. "My life has been giving a purpose. Through the writing of scriptures, to the training of vampires, to aiding those who were lost. And I have no regrets in that regard. But as that purpose is now reaching its end, I am ready to face my demons once and for all. And my demons have grown very powerful indeed in my absence."

"What does THAT matter? You're stronger than that, remember?"

"Not strong enough, I'm afraid."

"Of COURSE you are! You're Comicality! You're like the big...super...vampire 'prophet'! Right?"

"Fiction." He answered calmly. "I am no more, and no less, than any others. And when the time comes, and that last heartbreak finally swallows me whole...my demons won't let me live. They can't. And I am prepared to deal with that fate when it comes for me."

"You're talking crazy!" I yelled. "Why are you doing this? Why are you constantly pushing away all the hands that are trying to help you? Do you WANNA die? Is that it? Huh?"

He stopped, trying to give me the chance to understand. But I didn't. I refused. "Some of us do great things, Justin. And I believe that you, my friend, will work miracles when it's your turn to share the light you have inside of you." He raised my chin to look him in the eye. "But for those of us who have 'sacrificed' that light, that companionship, and that spirit, for the greater good...all we have is the lone footprint that we leave behind. You are the last part of that circle, Justin. You are the living blueprint for the future. And that future doesn't involve me. Not for you, not for anyone."

I felt emotion well up in my throat, seeing the dead look in his eyes. I don't think I had seen that look since those dark days before the end of my human life. In the reflection of the bathroom mirror, while tears stained my face, and my soul tumbled about in the pit of my stomach. And even though Com seemed to carry it with a certain sense of silent grace, I could recognize that pain anywhere. I had lived with it for too long not to. "You don't have to do this. Any of this." He let his hand drop from my shoulder. "I mean it. You could just...you could walk away from all of this anytime that you wanted to. You could LEAVE!"

"No, Justin. I can't."

"Yes, you CAN! What the fuck??? Just STOP already!"

"I no longer have the choices you do. The shadows are a part of me now. Without them, I would no longer exist."

I thought about it for a moment. "Are you...'real' under there?" I said, trying to peer through the cloak to see if I could find the person underneath.

"Real enough."

"Has anybody ever...'seen' you?" I asked.

"A few." He answered softly.

"Where are they?"

"Gone."

"Gone? Dead?"

"No....just gone." He said. "The mystery had been solved, the challenge was gone. They decided to go with it. I trust there was no more use for the 'chase' anymore." He looked up at the dark sky, the clouds rolling back and forth with a growl. "What good is it to be an angel...when they think you're a god?"

"Do you miss them?"

"I try not to."

"But do you miss them?" I asked again.

He looked back down at me, and said, "I try not to."

I thought for a second, and told him, "I saw Maria. She knows you."

"Yes, I know. I can sense her essence on you. I find it soothing."

"She told me to tell you she misses you." I hoped it would make a difference, but as usual, Com was cold to anything remotely affectionate from me. Or from anyone.

"Strange. I would have expected her to tell you to run from me as fast as you can." I almost saw a smile on his face. But I couldn't tell if it was genuine, or a sarcastic carbon copy.

"I saw Chad too. And HE misses you."

"No...he doesn't." He replied, seeing right through me. Then, he looked at me sideways, "Is that all that Maria told you?"

"No...actually." I said, my stomach tightening up from the inside. It was as if Comicality could tell what was wrong. It was in the air around us. My dream world stretched and distorted sightly from the pain of it. "I read the Mimic prophecy. I saw it." I said, watching Com as he slowly turned his back to me, staring off into the distance. I waited in silence for a second or two, but I wasn't going to let him avoid me this time. Not THIS time. "Why did you hide it from me? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I assume for the same reasons you didn't divulge that particular information to Taryn before kissing him goodnight."

I stomped my way up behind him and grabbed a hold of his cloak. "Don't you DARE bring him into this! Don't you give me that prophecy bullshit either! It's NOT gonna happen! Do you hear me?"

"Justin..."

"NO!!! YOU LISTEN TO ME!!!" I shouted as I felt some of the shadows ripped away from his body, and had to reach back to get a hold on another. "I won't let him die. There is no force on Earth that can keep me from protecting him. I don't wanna hear anything about the Vampire Dawn or giving my happiness away to save some drowning soul that probably doesn't even deserve it!" I said.

"I'm sorry, Justin. The scriptures are quite clear. I'm afraid that you don't have a choice."

"Don't fucking tell me that! I DO have a choice! And it's NOT gonna happen!"

"There is an entire age of enlightenment that is depending on your sacrifice..." He said, but I grabbed two handfulls of his cape and held it tight in my clenched fists.

"FUCK THEM!!! FUCK THEM ALL!!! Where the hell were 'THEY' when I was getting battered, abused, and beaten to the floor every damn day as a child??? HUH??? Where were 'THEY' when my mother was so drunk that I had to undress her and put her to bed??? Where the FUCK were 'THEY' when I was walking to the end of that Pier, night after night, with nothing but heartbreak and despair in my soul, wondering if I'd finally have the guts to drown myself??? I don't know, Com...but 'THEY' sure as fuck weren't thinking about ME!!! And you want me to give up the *ONLY* thing left that matters to me in the whole world...just to bring THEM salvation??? FORGET IT!!!" I screamed. Com didn't answer, he didn't fight back, he just allowed me to hold onto his cloak of shadows in anger. "Is THIS what you like??? Huh??? You LIKE having all this pain and suffering wrapped around you all the time??? Is that it??? The SCREAMS...and the CRYING...and the PAIN!!! You WELCOME that shit on PURPOSE, DON'T YOU!!! HUH???" I yanked another shadow from his body, and heard it scream in agony as it fought to hold on. "ANSWER ME!!!" I pulled another one away from him, and another, and another, ripping his cloak to dark spiritual shreds. Hearing their cries, feeling that ice cold desperation, as the dark spirits were torn free...only to fall to the ground and scamper towards him again to rejoin the mass of others. "I LOVE TARYN!!! AND HE LOVES ME!!! AND WE'RE GONNA FUCKING BE TOGETHER!!! I'm NOT just gonna sit back and let you or anyone else just TAKE him from me! I'm NOT gonna end up ALONE like you!!! Do you hear me???" I kept ripping, kept tearing, kept fighting, as tears poured out of my eyes and the angry shouts began to turn into sobs of hopelessness. "I'm not going to lose him! I'm not gonna turn into a lonely old friendless BASTARD like you who doesn't give a shit about ANYBODY!!! You're NOTHING!!! FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! You're NOTHING!!!" He never once raised his hand against me. Instead, he bared the pain, and waited for me to let it all out. When my arms were exhausted, and the emotion became too overwhelming for me to stand, I felt my knees go weak, and I plummeted to the ground.

The sadness was sooo deep. It rotted everything inside of me, and my whole world turned black again. I sobbed quietly, unable to do anything more, and all of the shadows were magnetized right back to Com where they were before. It was like my tantrum had no effect at all. Just like it never did in my past life. Just like it wouldn't in the dismal future ahead of me. It felt as if I had lost everything already. Comicality then walked over to stand above me, offering a hand to help me to my feet again. But this time, I didn't take it. I couldn't stand. Not anymore. I just didn't have the heart. So instead, he squatted down in front of me. "I'm sorry, Justin. I realize that this part of the process is a merciless one. The path of the vampire mimic is one of great struggle, suffering, and sacrifice. Nothing about this will be easy, and the path does not lead to a city of gold...not for you. But you are the one chosen to bear the burden."

"I didn't ask for this! I didn't ask for ANY of this!" I sniffled, the tears rolling down my cheeks non stop.

"Out of all the painful sacrifices made in history for the greater good...who would?" He asked me. "Justin...with all that you have been through, all the hard times that you have faced, I regret that I cannot spare you this tragedy. But you can use that pain to make you strong. It will prepare you for the change. What you experience right here, right now, will allow you to realize the message that you must bring to the whole world. A belief, and a faith, that will spare COUNTLESS others the horrors you've been through." He said softly. "It is you...a lone child...who is carrying the guiding light for us all."

"I...I can't." I sobbed. "Please...take this pain away. I can't lose anyone else. I just...I won't survive having my heart broken. I won't survive having my world fall apart again." I sniffled and cried until my stomach was weak from it. But Com offered me no further comfort. Other than to say...

"The answers you need are already inside your heart. They've been there all along. You've been nurturing them with every experience you've had in darkness. Every one. And it is there...in that hidden message, that you will find your greatest strength. I cannot give it to you. It would do you no good to hear it from me anyway. But it is the treasure buried in your very spirit, Justin. It will comfort you when the time comes. And it will bring you peace in the dark days ahead. Right now, just make the that time you two have left is spent gracefully. Enjoy it for what it is...for as long as you can." It hurt. GOD, it hurt. It turned me inside out to think that there may come a time when Taryn's kiss was no longer there to soothe my soul. When his smile was gone from me, and his embrace had gone cold. It created such a pain in me that it was hard to breathe, and my tears came out with a series of heaves. There I sit...locked in 'checkmate'...and lost in confusion. "I must go. But remember what I told you." He said, and he put his hand on my back to rub it in small circles. "To be reborn through suffering is a difficult transformation, but in the end...it will mold you into the warrior both worlds need you to be." I don't think Com was ready for it, but I leaned to the side, and rested my head on his shoulder. It caught him off guard at first, but he awkwardly attempted to accept the sentiment. I wrapped my arms around him and felt myself sink into the cold shadows of his disguise. I cried softly, burying my face into his chest, and after an uncomfortable moment, I felt Comicality's arms slowly rise up to embrace me. Softly at first, then tenderly. And as I wept openly, asking him why it had to be me, begging him to tell me that there was another way out of this...he grasped me tightly. "Shhhhh...I know. I know. Shhh..." He whispered, and for a moment, I could have sworn that I felt the shadows melt away momentarily. Like a gentle fog, they rolled away from me, and I could almost see a small glimpse of the man underneath. I couldn't explain it, but it was almost as if...some of my inner light had inspired a light inside of him as well. And together, we were able to push the pain and the sorrow away from him...if only for a few seconds.

He held me close, a boy of 14, bawling on his shoulder. Never once giving me the indication that he wanted to let go. For the first time ever...he felt my tears...and received my affection. He didn't hide or back away from it. He didn't retreat into the shadows, or attempt to change the subject. For once, he just sat there with me, and held me in silence. Hoping to somehow give me the strength to go on.

"GASP!!!" I suddenly woke up in the bunker at the IceZone, my face still covered with tears, and Taryn sleeping peacefully at my side. I peeked out of the curtain, and saw that the entire club had gone dead except for a few spinning lights and automated machines. I was early again. Extremely early from the looks and sounds of it. So I closed the curtain back, and looked down at the love of my life. The one entty that had been the center of my universe for the past few months. And yet, it seemed like an entire lifetime.

I let my eyes trace the smooth creamy skin of his cheek, and gazed at the natural cherry colored sweetness of his lips. With a tear, I let my hand brush back a few locks of his reddish brown hair, and leaned down to kiss him softly on his cheek. The pain fought to resurface, and I sat holding my breath to keep from crying out loud. But with a sniffle, I cuddled myself up against him, and just held him in my arms. "Oh Taryn..." I whispered to myself, my tears wetting his cheek. I kissed him again, his body still cold and motionless from the sleep. What key could I possibly hold that would bring me comfort in the wake of losing my only angel? What answer could I have that would make life worth anything ever again after he was gone? Maybe Com was wrong. Maybe there isn't one. And if insanity doesn't come to claim me as the prophecy predicted it would...then death was my only other option. It always has been. Perhaps that's just the way it was supposed to be from the very begining.

I love you, Taryn. I love you with every inch of my being. And I am going to keep you with me for as long as I can. We WILL be together forever, no matter what. Even if I have to follow you into the afterlife to do it. I can't be alone.

No....I can't be alone.