Sanctuary - 16. Chapter 16 - Aki

“So he’s on his way?” Aki sighed down the phone.

“Safely tucked away on the train, with half a metric ton of sugar and all his homework finished off. He should be arriving in a couple of hours.”

“Thank gods for that.” Aki didn’t realise how tense he’d felt, not really knowing if Hel would try to stay with Peter and James, or want to come back to him. Ever since Ishca had made him realise he was a parent, he’d missed the noise of Hel around the house, and it would be good to have the teenager home again. “So it all went smoothly up there?”

“Yeah, it did…”

“Is that Aki? Gimmie the phone.”

“I’ll be right bac-.” But Peter’s voice vanished in the fumbling of the phone.

“Hey Aki.”

Aki frowned at the handset even as he held it; James never used his name if he could get away with teasing him with something else.

“Hey… what’s up?”

“You’re going to need to watch that boy when he gets home.”

“Well that was sort of blunt.”

James growled.

“Not to sound conceited…”

“Hard for you, I know.”

“Jackass.”

“Punk.”

“Are we done trading insults now?” James sounded tired. “That little wolf of yours is carrying a torch for me, and I’m not even sure he realises it right now. He’s confused inside his own head, but he needs to develop a better sense of personal space.”

“Oh?”

“He snuck in on me and Peter. I’m not proud of it.”

“What am I supposed to do about it?” Aki complained. Before Ishca had said it, Aki knew he had been painfully oblivious to what might have been going on in the boy’s heart. He was only just about starting to deal with everything in his head, and the four thousand questions the kid would have which Aki felt completely unqualified to answer.

“Really, Joakim?” Aki rolled his eyes, and wished he hadn’t asked. “You’re his guardian; his parent. Dammit Aki, you’re the closest thing that boy is going to have to a father! You gotta be there for him.”

Aki clenched a fist and resisted the urge to throw the phone across the studio. He took up a piece of clay instead and watched as it paled in his fingers, all the moisture evaporating away faster than nature wanted.

“How? Exactly what am I supposed to do?” He felt stupid asking, after all, James knew less about raising a teenager than Ishca did.

“You be there for him you: you give him what he needs, not necessarily what he wants, and you stick by him, even when he makes crappy decisions. And he’s going to make bad choices; he’s a kid after all.”

“Great.”

“Have fun Aki.”

“Irritating canine…” Aki muttered as he hung up. A little bit of him missed the conversations he’d used to have with Peter, before the werewolf had invaded his life and their friendship, but he couldn’t begrudge his friend’s happiness, especially now that he too had the chance to be blissfully contented.

Aki opened the fridge to find everything laid out for dinner, the prepared chicken surrounded by a selection of vegetables and topped with a post-it note decorated with a love heart, the oven temperature, and what time to put it on. Ishca might have been out at the gallery showing a posh client around the artwork, but there were signs of him everywhere, and Aki wondered what he was going to do about it.

You don’t have to do anything, his inner voice muttered sceptically.

Yeah, ‘cause living in limbo is so much fun. Aki took the post-it and traced the shape of the heart Ishca had drawn. They hadn’t said anything to each other, not really. Neither he nor the empath had brought up the topic of their relationship, Ishca’s stay, where specifically he’d been before he’d shown up on Aki’s doorstep, or why he’d left. Aki had shared his bed with the beautiful man from day one, but he knew he’d been sharing his heart for a while, and he hadn’t said anything to the empath who rocked his world night after night.

He can be an infuriating little bastard. Aki turned the oven on as he was supposed to and delivered the chicken to its fiery depths. Is it just the sex? I hadn’t gotten laid in a while when he showed up. Aki thought of Ishca bringing him breakfast, snuggling into his side, and the warmth he felt which was far more than physical. It couldn’t just be convenience and lust which made him imagine Ishca in his house even when he wasn’t there. Aki really hoped his brain wasn’t playing tricks on him as he pulled on his boots, shrugged into a light weight jacket and headed out to the car. He couldn’t wait to have Hel back in the house, but after his conversation with James, he wasn’t quite sure what sort of state the boy would be in when he arrived.

Train station parking was hellishly expensive, and Aki poured too many coins into the meter before jogging to the station concourse. He scanned the arrivals board for the right set of numbers, and went to go and meet Hel off the platform. The train was only slightly late, but Aki paced up and down in a tight cyclical pattern until his feet threatened to wear a warm hole in the pattern of the flooring. Only after he stopped and stared at his faintly smoking shoes did the train arrive with a grinding of wheels and sparks flying from the brakes. After the first stream of people had hurried away, other began drifting out, and Aki scanned around for the blond boy with the bright blue eyes.

“Hey.” Hel sounded tired. “I want to learn to drive; I hate trains.”

Aki frowned, but smiled as the boy dumped his bag, looking a lot heavier than it was when he left, and leant automatically against Aki’s side. The part-demon hugged him back, worrying the whole time how the gesture might be interpreted.

“Not for a few years bud. You gotta learn to put up with public transport for a while yet.” Aki heaved the boy’s bag over one strong shoulder and turned towards the entrance. “C’mon you can tell me all about it on the drive; Ishca will be home by then, he’s making us dinner.”

“He was at work? But it’s a Sunday…”

“And Peter told me you had all your homework finished off for tomorrow when you go back to school.” Aki smiled at his ward. “Seems like you had a good time.”

“You spoke to Peter?” Hel gaped at him in shock.

“And James,” Aki added. He kept Hel close as they walked from the station, and he could feel the boy shiver in a way which had nothing to do with the chill still lingering in the evening air. “Don’t worry about a thing, bud. It’s all alright with me.”

“Oh.”

“So tell me about this train journey.” Aki stowed Hel’s bag in the back of the car as the boy slid into the front seat. “I bet it couldn’t be worse than many I’ve taken.”

*

The Rectory Office was full of the scents of roasting meat when they arrived, and Ishca beamed to see Hel back and welcomed him with open arms. Aki was surprised when the boy dropped his bag and stepped into the skinny empath’s embrace.

“I’m glad you had a nice time,” Ishca said before he’d even got as far as asking the question, let alone giving the young wolf time to answer. “Dinner won’t be for twenty minutes or so. Why don’t you nip up and have a shower and then we’ll eat together, ‘kay?”

“Thanks Ish.”

“My pleasure; go on with you.”

Aki watched as his charge scooped up his bag and flashed him a quick smile before heading upstairs. The moment he was out of sight, Aki heard him moving around and the house felt suddenly more whole and lived in than it had all week. Ishca smiled at him and stroked a hand down his neck and shoulder before returning to the kitchen he seemed to have claimed.

“It’s good to have him back.” Ishca spoke as he stirred a pot of something delicious and rich smelling on the stove. “He never seems to notice that he makes noise.” He was interrupted by the scraping of a chair. “…or talks to himself. Did you guys chat on the way home?”

“Some.” Aki arched at eyebrow at his lover, wondering if Ishca knew everything he’d said, or if the feeling of having Hel back in the house, safe, sound, and still wanting to be with them was eclipsed by the mixed love and desire which had smashed its way through Aki’s ribcage the moment he’d walked in and seen the man with whom he shared his bed. Surely Ishca knew how he felt, but the empath gave no sign as he turned the roasted vegetables over in their coating of pepper and oil and returned them to the hot oven. “He complained about the train journey; apparently some woman spent most of three hours on her phone chattering away and aggravating everyone. Hel was not amused.”

“I’ll bet. So when are you going to talk to him about the fact he watched James and Peter fucking?” Ishca spoke so matter-of-factly that for a moment Aki didn’t realise what he’d asked, and then blanched.

“What?! How…? He…?” Aki took a breath to stop his verbal juddering. “James said he walked in on them. That was all he said.”

“Well that ain’t what happened. If that was all, I doubt Hel would feel as torn up as he does.” Ishca gave his lover a soft, sad smile. “He snuck in and stayed to watch until James saw him.”

“Oh fucking hell.” Aki felt his soft contented plans for the evening, watching a movie and sharing popcorn, dissolving into discussions he did not want to have. “But he’s just a kid!”

“He’s a teenager, babe. He’s going to start getting himself in trouble and being curious about his body, and other people’s.”

“He is way too young for this conversation.”

Ishca glared at him from the stove, and arched a judgemental eyebrow.

“’Cause you weren’t making out with guys at his age?”

“Hey… that’s not the same thing.” Aki shuffled guiltily. It was strange, every now and then, to be reminded that Ishca knew things about him he’d never said to the other man, stuff he’d never explained, and if Peter was correct, seen parts of his past Aki might never have chosen to share. Ishca’s question might have been general and assumptive, but Aki couldn’t help but remember the first boy he’d kissed, down behind the bike sheds during a school disco, the way his lips had felt all soft and warm for the very first time. He’d been the same age as the spirit wolf upstairs using all the hot water.

“This thing he’s got for James isn’t healthy. It’s not a harmless crush anymore, not if it’s making him feel like this.”

“But I don’t know how he feels,” Aki grumbled. “You understand him better; can’t you talk to him?”

“Uh-uh. You wanna know how he feels, you gotta talk to him.” Ishca opened the oven again and pulled out the fully roasted and deliciously scented chicken. “He’s your kid.”

“But-.”

“Thanks for getting the dinner on.” Ishca kissed him, and Aki felt the gesture light a fire in his ribcage: surely the empath knew how he felt. “Hel! Dinner time!”

*

“Your turn to do the dishes, pup.” Ishca sat back from his empty plate and grinned happily. Dinner had been delicious, and Aki finished sucking the meat from a leg bone before placing it with his cutlery. He paused, about to wipe his fingers on his jeans, and took the tissue Ishca handed him with a glare. Hel took one too, and Aki watched the boy unconsciously copying his gestures on the other side of the chicken carcass they had demolished.

“But I wanted to pick a film.”

“Nope. I cooked, so it’s my turn to pick.” Ishca touched Aki’s thigh under the table and the Rectory Officer tried not to jump out of his skin. “Aki’ll help you and make popcorn.”

“He’s gonna steal the sofa,” Hel grumbled without feeling as he began to stack the plates haphazardly.

“Probably.”

They cleared the table and Aki began to fill the sink with hot soapy water whilst Hel scraped the picked clean bones into the bin. He’d begrudgingly eaten all his vegetables, even the sprouts, and Aki took it as a sign his body was healing well. Two weeks ago there was nothing the boy wouldn’t have instantly wolfed down: starving people weren’t known for being picky.

“Aki?” Hel was standing right by his elbow, and Aki smiled at him, wondering what Hel would be like when his thinness was gone and his body was once again in the right state for a teenage growth spurt. Aki hoped he would never have to look up at the boy he’d adopted. Hel looked faintly nervous. “I missed you.”

“Well that makes two of us.” Aki had been jealous of how easily Hel had stepped into Ishca’s warm embrace, but before he could move, he felt the warmth and weight of the boy leaning against his side as Hel stepped closer. Aki wrapped an arm around his shoulders gently, and then squeezed him tight before letting go. “I’m glad you had fun up there though.”

Hel beamed.

“James and I ran everywhere! All over the heath and we played in the gorse and the little stream. It wasn’t deep enough to swim in, but that’s OK; I’m not really a good swimmer.”

“I expect your body would know what to do.”

“Oh…” Hel went suddenly quiet, and for the next few minutes, there was nothing but the sloshing of water and gentle clink of crockery.

“Hel… I know you want to be close to James because he’s a bit more like you.” Aki measured his words carefully. “And he knows what it’s like to change shape and be a wolf, but he is an adult.”

“I know.”

“And he is in love with Peter.”

“I know.” Hel tone had taken on a sulky note.

“I want you to be comfortable with him, but you know that it’s not appropriate for you to want to be with him all the time.”

“What?”

“Peter told me what happened.” Aki didn’t see any harm in the lie, at least if Hel shouted at him and ran off he’d still trust Ishca with his secrets – whether he knew he was doing so or not.

“And what would Peter know?” Hel sneered. “He’s just a human.”

Aki put down the plate he was holding and took a deep breath. He was glad Ishca wasn’t there, but not because he was human. Aki remembered with heart-wrenching clarity saying near enough the same thing to his own mother in a heated row. It had ended up with a scorched patch of carpet under his feet.

“That’s a dangerous road to go down Hel. You can’t shut out every human you ever meet, or life is going to be pretty lonely.”

“Whatever.” The boy sulked.

“OK…” Aki let the moment stretch out until they were both comfortable enough again to continue clearing up. “I know it’s a confusing time for you Hel and you’ve got lots to deal with.” The teenager arched a pale eyebrow at him, but Aki pressed on before he had time to feel embarrassed. “Your body is changing, and you’ve got two of those to deal with. You’re going to start having thoughts and feelings you might not have noticed before, or had before at all; that’s OK too.”

“Aki?”

“James is a good friend, but that’s all he is. Whatever you think you might feel now, it’ll all change when you meet someone your own age.” Aki breathed a sigh of relief, having finally made it to his point, and he smiled at his charge. Hel was staring at him like he was an alien.

“What?”

“James is a good friend, but when you meet a boy your own age-.” Aki started.

“I’m not gay!” Hel’s words were accompanied by the smash of a plate as it slipped from his fingers. “Shut up!”

Aki didn’t manage to get another word out before the boy fled from the kitchen and pounded up the stairs. The sound of his bedroom door slamming into the frame reverberated around the house.

“Fuck…” Aki swore quietly.

“You’ll have to tighten those hinges,” Ishca chirped from the couch, and went back to reading.