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    7letcher
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Concentrated mistakes - 7. Chapter 7

I wonder if i am doing justice to the love scenes? I wont know if you don't review.

When the Christmas break was over Nathaniel started the year high on his overpowering feelings towards Dane. There were days when Nathaniel felt that it just could not get any better and Dane topped himself yet again; surprising Nathaniel with simple things that sent him over the moon. Even his mom was softening towards him.

“Hmm, he is caring, I’ll admit that”, she observed, when she came home to see Dane taking care of him when he got sick. She was even civil to him on occasions as he was now allowed to wait in the living room when they had dates.

At school, Lana was questioning who the guy is. She has stopped asking if there was a guy after Nathaniel turned up with a hicky on his neck which he tried to disguise by wearing a turtle neck. This was not usually his style, so, naturally Lara figured out what he was trying to hide and pulled down the neck of the sweater to reveal his secret.

Dane brought him to school every morning but he did not pick him up every evening because he sometimes had classes or work takes him out of town. Even with the routine, Lana did not figure out who Nathaniel was seeing until one afternoon when they had stayed back for Drama club. It was peak hours and it was difficult to get transportation to get into town. Lana’s bus had left so they, along with a small group of students were waiting at the bus stop. To make matters worse, the rain started to fall heavily. This was one of the evenings when Dane had classes and would not pick him up. Nathaniel was getting a little freaked out because of the lightning and thunder, to Lana’s amusement. He felt relieved when he saw a familiar car pulling alongside them. Nathaniel’s face brightened into a smile as he saw Dane, big umbrella and all, hurrying out of the car towards them.

“Hey”, Dane greeted. “You ok? I have been calling to make sure you made it home alright but it keeps going straight to voicemail”. His voice had an accusatory note to it.

Nathaniel fished his phone out of his pocket and smiled sheepishly at him, “sorry, looks like the battery is dead”. Dane exhaled and shook his head from side to side as he took the books Nathaniel was clutching to his chest. He was about to take the bag as well when Nathaniel remembered Lana, who was looking from one to the other with her mouth slightly opened. “Dane, this is my best friend Lana; Lana this is Dane, my boyfriend”.

Lana released one of her ear piercing squeals, getting the attention of the other students who were at the other end of the shelter. They glanced at them but quickly went back to the conversation they were having.

“Hi best friend, Lana,” Dane said smiling at her.

“Oh, God!” She said looking up at Dane, “you are fucking gorgeous. No wonder Natty has been in such a good mood for a while now”. Nathaniel rolled his eyes, Dane smiled and Lana kept on looking Dane over. “I hope you treat your fag-hag better than he does”, she accused. “Getting information out of him is like breaking into the National Reserve Bank!” Dane chuckled at that, while Nathaniel scowled at her.

The thunder boomed and Nathaniel jumped. “Can I offer you a ride home Lana, or are you waiting on someone?” Dane asked as he transferred the bag from Nathaniel’s shoulder to his. Lana confirmed that she would love the ride and so Dane covered them as he deposited Nathaniel in the front seat and Lan a in the back, along with the bag and books.

In between giving Dane directions to her home Lana asked non-stop questions about how they met and personal questions to Dane such as when he knew he was gay. For Nathaniel, the sight of Lara’s house could not come fast enough. Dane was mainly amused and deferred some of the questions that he thought that Nathaniel had a problem with him revealing. Dane would say, “What are best friends for, if not to answer that question?”, and smiled pointedly at Nathaniel who would say, “No comment”.

By the time the car stopped at Lana’s gate, Nathaniel was beyond relief. “I will definitely call you later”, she said looking in Nathaniel’s direction. Dane got out and sheltered her to her door. She waved to her friend as she went inside her house.

“That girl is a riot”, Dane said as he pulled out unto the main road and headed towards Nathaniel’s home.

Nathaniel smiled as he agreed, “that is defiantly one word I would use to describe her”.

“How long have you two been friends?” Dane asked.

“About five years. I think she is the only close friend I have, a lot of people can’t put up with my quirks.”

“Oh yes”, Dane agreed. “I am getting to know those quirks now. One big one is not keeping your phone charged. Very annoying quirk, I must say, especially when your boyfriend is worried that something might be wrong,” he sounded as if he was not ready to let that one go yet. This had happened before so Nathaniel was pitifully remorseful.

“As soon as I step in the house I am going to plug it in, I promise.” Nathaniel placated as Dane looked intently on the road as the rain continued to pour. “Wait a minute; aren’t you supposed to be in class? Was it cancelled?” Nathaniel turned to look at him.

“I left early, because………….” He did not get to finish his sentence.

“You were worried about me and couldn’t get me on my cell”, Nathaniel felt terrible. “Oh Dane, I am sorry you had to leave class because of me. I feel like shit”. Nathaniel said remorsefully.

“Hey, take it easy. I was just worried that’s all. I know you think I worry too much but I can’t help it, especially when it comes to people who means a lot to me”.

They stopped at Nathaniel’s gate and he leaned over and hugged Dane tightly. “Thank you”. He said softly.

“For what?” Dane asked.

“For caring about me”. Nathaniel took a deep breath, “honestly, I am still not used to someone looking after me like you do, but you make me feel safe and needed. It is such a wonderful feeling”.

Dane kissed him softly, and then gathered the bag and the books. “I can carry some of that, you know”, Nathaniel stated as Dane held the umbrella for him to get under.

“One fight at a time, babe”, he laughed as they both walked up to the door. When Nathaniel reached inside the first thing he did was put his phone to charge.

The following Sunday Dane and Nathaniel were at Dane’s house watching a movie. Dane’s head was in Nathaniel’s lap as he randomly ran his fingers through Dane’s soft black hair. Dane sighed, looked away from the movie and looked straight up at Nathaniel. “Are you afraid to do it?” He asked.

Nathaniel looked at him, confusion in his expression, “excuse me?” He said quizzically.

“Baby, I want you, but I want you to be ready.” Dane raised his hand to Nathaniel’s cheek. “So tell me what, from your research, has got you spooked”. Dane was speaking in a calm soft voice. Dane saw the question in Nathaniel’s eyes and answered before he asked, “I know you and I pay attention. You don’t do anything unless you do your research”. Dane smiled at Nathaniel’s expression.

Dane was right. Nathaniel was a true geek. He enjoyed researching and sometimes he got a case of “information overload”. When this happens he sometimes “unloaded” that information unto Dane in the form of talking until it was out of his system.

Dane sat up and looked at him. “Well?” Dane prompted.

Nathaniel took a deep breath, “It is going to hurt like hell at first, right? Most persons say that on the internet. I know that you are big and that will make it hurt even more.” Nathaniel did not really want to talk about this, so his face was flushed with embarrassment.

“That’s it?” Dane checked, “Or is there more?” At Nathaniel’s expression, Dane encouraged, “tell me”.

“You’ve had experiences with both sexes, you know what good sex feels like”, Nathaniel sighed in frustration, “I just don’t want to….. to be bad at it”. They had had the ‘sex from the past” discussion already. Dane was actually bi-sexual, which really shocked Nathaniel. Dane confessed that he went through a time when he lived for the moment where he gained a lot of experience, with both sexes. Nathaniel, on the other hand, only had a sloppy, drunk kiss to his credit.

“Nate, I am so happy that we waited as long as we have, without going all the way, sexually. It gave us a chance to get to know each other before the complication of sex. Man, I know all of your little quirks, expressions and hang-ups and I love just being with you. I have never had this before”, he entwined his fingers with Nathaniel’s. “You are already ahead of anyone I have ever been with, in terms of how I feel about you. Baby, I won’t promise that sex will be earth shattering for you the first time out, but we can work at it and together be fantastic at it”, Dane gave Nathaniel one of his winning smiles. “As for this monster”, he smirked, groping his cock through his pants, “We will work our way up to it. I don’t want you biting off more than you can chew, now, do we?”

The mood turned playful as Nathaniel hit him in the shoulders playfully saying, “You are so full of yourself”.

“Don’t worry, baby”, Dane laughed as he leaned down to whispered intimately in Nathaniel’s ear. “You’ll soon get your chance to have every single inch of me filling you.” He bit his lips when Nathaniel flushed red. “Down boy”, Dane cautioned himself, as he looked at Nathaniel’s sweet kissable lips.

Later on that evening, as their make out session got very heated, Nathaniel reached down and unbuckled Dane pants. He timidly freed Dale’s thick, hard, almost nine inches cock from its confinement. Nathaniel looked at it and gulped. ‘Dear God! This will never fit in any hole I have on my body’, he assessed. Dane was watching him intently, his face a picture of desperate arousal. He looked as if he was in pain. Nathaniel licked his lips and then licked the head of Dane’s cock. It throbbed in Nathaniel’s hand. The head had pre-cum oozing from it and Nathaniel licked it again to get use to the taste.

“Love, please”, Dale begged in a strained voice. Nathaniel looked down at Dale and basks in the power he had to get him to fall to pieces like this. Nathaniel tried to remember all the You tube videos that he had watched on how to give head to a guy. He lowered his head and Dale tensed from head to toe.

“Oh Gooooooooooooooood!” he groaned as Nathaniel found himself being totally aroused by Dane’s reaction. All that he had learnt through his hours of research left the forefront of his mind and he listened and got carried away on Dane’s groans and pleas. He didn’t get all of Dane’s cock in his mouth all at once but he realized that if he relaxed his throat a little he can get him halfway there. Nathaniel was drunk on the noises, the smell and the taste that was coming from this amazing man. He would suck him in as far as he could go and then pull off and then use his tongue to fuck the slit at the tip of his huge cock.

“Oh Fuck, baby, fuuuuuuuuk! Cumming! Jesus Nate, Cummin!” He babbled as powerful spasms started to shake his entire body. He tried to push Nathaniel’s head off him but Nathaniel was desperately sucking and moaning on his cock. When the first powerful spurt hit Nathaniel’s throat he felt his gag reflexes responded. He backed off a little but kept the swollen, jerking cock in his mouth. He swallowed as his man’s cum filled his hot, hungry mouth.

As the orgasm reached a manageable level while they return to earth, Dane begged him to stop, “Please, babe it’s sensitive”. He inhaled sharply, “Wow! I need to….. Wow! You……fuck…. Come up here”. He pulled Nathaniel to him and devoured his lips. Nathaniel was still hard as he weld his body in sensual writhes unto Dane. Dane pushed his big hands down the back of his pants and cupped his firm ass cheeks in both his hands. Nathaniel sat up hurriedly as he unbuckled his pants. He wanted to take them off but Dane was not letting him go. Dane suddenly sat, then stand with Nathaniel’s legs still wrapped around his hips. The walk to the bedroom was awkward but fast as Dale had one hand around Nathaniel’s ass, the other hand holding up his own pants as he was also busy exploring Nathaniel’s mouth.

Dane put Nathaniel on the bed and sucked on his neck as he undressed him. Nathaniel was wanton and pleading as Dane left his lips for a few seconds so that he could hurriedly take his own clothes off. On his way back to Nathaniel’s body, Dane stop for a second and examined the naked sensual man in his bed, “God, you are breathtakingly beautiful”, he said reverently. Nathaniel blushed and the calmness passed as Dane felt lust and need overcame him.

No matter how close Dane got, Nathaniel wanted him closer. He grabbed, arched his back, begged, bribed and bargain with Dane so that he could get closer. He felt frenzied and out of control as he was suspended in a state of intense pleasure that was driving him out of his mind.

Dane recognized that he needed to calm Nathaniel down a little and so he lifted his head and placed light kisses on his eyes, mouth, cheeks, neck as he whispered calming words to him, “shh, sweetheart, calm down”. Dane looked down into Nathaniel’s eyes and let him see the love and adoration shining there.

Nathaniel swallowed shakily, reached up his hand and tenderly touched Dane’s lips. “I want to be yours, only yours, Dane. Make love to me”, he pulled his face down towards his, he then opened his legs in a wanton and sensual way. “Please fuck me”, he groaned more gutturally.

Dane kissed him harshly and then reached into the bedside drawer for a foil packet and a bottle of lube. Nathaniel watched him with hooded lids as he got his fingers slippery with a generous amount of lube. Nathaniel felt a little flutter of apprehension as he looked down at Dane’s rock hard cock.

“Hey”, he looked back up at Dane’s eyes. “Do you trust me?”

Such a simple question, Nathaniel thought. “Yes, with all my heart”, he responded, meaning every word.

“Breathe, and try to relax”, Dane advised while he started to trail wet kisses down towards Nathaniel’s cock. His tongue was distracting Nathaniel so much so that when he felt Dane’s finger breached his ring of muscles he tensed in surprise. “Relax”, he heard Dane said softly and swallowed his cock. Nathaniel yelped and opened his legs wider. Dane pushed into him and held still for a moment. Nathaniel moved his hips experimentally and seems to like what he felt because he let out a searing “Oh my God!” as he started to buck his hips, fucking himself on Dane’s finger.

By the time Dane had three fingers in and was satisfied that he was ready, Nathaniel was fast losing it and begging Dane to fuck him. Dane came over him when he was wearing a slippery condom, lifted his legs to his shoulders and slowly used his cock to breach the ring of muscled inside Nathanial’s sweet ass. Dane felt him try to push him out at first and he leaned down and kissed him. He pushed in deeper and Nathaniel winced in discomfort. “Push out and breath for me, baby”, Dane said in a strained voice as he tried to control himself.

Nathaniel looked at him and saw the effort in his clenched jaw and the rigid way he held his body. “Wow”, Nathaniel whispered as he did as Dane said. He felt him slipped in farther and then stopped so that Nathaniel can get adjusted to the intrusion. Nathaniel moved his hips experimentally again as both their bodies were becoming slick with sweat. Nathaniel did not know if it was the smell of sex in the room, the sex itself or this wonderful man above him but as he moved his hip he felt an explosion that shook his body into sensual action. “Fuck me,” he begged as the intense pleasure was undermining the pain.

Dane planned on taking it easy but did not stand a chance as Nathaniel’s moaning and writhing forced him to lose control. He thrust powerfully into Nathaniel over and over again as he looked down at Nathaniel’s blissed out face. When Nathaniel started shaking, Dane pulled out, flipped him over and stuck a pillow under his hips to elevate him. Dane entered him again and slipped his hand around Nathaniel’s waist to hold him firm. Nathaniel was begging for release as he trembled and clutched the sheets. Dane’s control was shattered as he pummelled into Nathaniel’s body.

When release came, Nathaniel twisted around and captured Dane’s lips in a painful, sensual, soul wrenching kiss while he screamed into Dane’s mouth. Nathaniel spurted over and over again as he rode the intense wave of his sweet release. Dane erupted shortly after when Nathaniel’s anal muscles were contracting and relaxing at an intense rate which pushes him over the edge. Nathaniel collapsed face down on the bed. Dane collapsed on top of him. They were both trembling and gasping for breath. Dane realized that he had to be crushing him. He rolled to the side as Nathaniel groaned. Dane lay on his back with one of his legs and his arm touching Nathaniel, the other arm was covering his eyes as he took deep breaths to calm himself.

“Babe?” Dane drawled without moving.

‘Hmmm”, Nathaniel responded

“You good?”

Nathaniel chuckled breathily, “good? That was even more than excellent. Those You tubers don’t know shit!”

“I aim to please, hon, I aim to please”, Dane laughed while pulling Nathaniel in close to him.

copyright to 7letcher(2015);All Rights Reserved
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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I've just read all seven chapters of your story and wanted to say you have great potential. One suggestion I would make is when he's with his mother and Lana refer to him as Nathaniel but when he is with Dane refer to his as Nate. Since Dane refers to him as Nate is just feels and 'sounds' wrong when you refer to him as Nathaniel during those times.
You do need a beta reader and it appears you haven't found one. You tend to change verb tenses and using incorrect spelling at times. If you need someone I would be willing. Give me a shout if you are interested and we can work out the details.
Larry

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I would echo that I'm still enjoying this and love the direction it has taken. The only real complaint I'd have is that it jumped ahead quite a bit from them just meeting to them being an official couple without getting a chapter or two of them dating and figuring out how well they click. It's not a bad thing necessarily. You did basically summarize it last chapter, I just personally would have liked to see a chapter or two from that time period.

 

Since you specifically mentioned the love scenes I'll comment on those. One thing I like that you've done is established a comfortable intimacy between the two where you can see how they enjoy each other. For the most part, the actual sex scenes are written fairly steamy and sexy. The only question I'd have is what tone you are going for when you are writing those segements? The reason I ask is because the kind of vocabulary used in the seen can set a more sweet and romantic tone versus a more arousing and salacious tone. I don't know which you're going for, so I don't have any specific suggestions, commentation on the scenes. But yes you do them justice. Overall I think you're doing well and I'm enjoying the story for sure.

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On 01/01/2016 03:38 PM, spikey582 said:

I would echo that I'm still enjoying this and love the direction it has taken. The only real complaint I'd have is that it jumped ahead quite a bit from them just meeting to them being an official couple without getting a chapter or two of them dating and figuring out how well they click. It's not a bad thing necessarily. You did basically summarize it last chapter, I just personally would have liked to see a chapter or two from that time period.

 

Since you specifically mentioned the love scenes I'll comment on those. One thing I like that you've done is established a comfortable intimacy between the two where you can see how they enjoy each other. For the most part, the actual sex scenes are written fairly steamy and sexy. The only question I'd have is what tone you are going for when you are writing those segements? The reason I ask is because the kind of vocabulary used in the seen can set a more sweet and romantic tone versus a more arousing and salacious tone. I don't know which you're going for, so I don't have any specific suggestions, commentation on the scenes. But yes you do them justice. Overall I think you're doing well and I'm enjoying the story for sure.

Spikey, I am happy that I still have your interest. Thanks for the meaningful and insightful comments; believe me, I am learning a lot as I go along.

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