Street Words - 10. And all the rest

I am posting these to finish the collection. Thanks AC for the suggestion.

By this time i'd started to read some poetry and write a bit. I didn't write often but these are the best of what's left.

1.

Easier if you’re a fag he said
But no, it’s not really
Easy if you’re drunk or high
Yeah that’s for sure
I hate it here, I do

That’s a real truth

2.

On my knees before you.
You tell me to look up
god I fuckin hate you.
You stroke my hair

don’t touch me
You grunt
Tell me swallow
Happy when I do

Hand me a twenty

and walk away

Still on my knees I
stick my fingers down my throat

3. Mornings

Finally the night is over
but I can’t go to sleep
up I push the window
the air is fresh and clean

Now is the best time of day
before the city awakes
monsters home in their beds
but I’m still afraid

4.

I pull off my t shirt
and look down at my ribs
is this all there is for me?
their cum and my vomit?

5.

Slept in the park
not a great idea.
found a bench
got kicked off.
for taking what’s
not mine
Steel toe-caps I’m sure

6.

Why do people believe in god?
Life is fucked up, nothing but hard
filled with sprinkles of hope
whenever the bastard sprinkles them?

At the mission we hear it, god’s will …
Yeah? So when will that be?
What did i do? Huh?
To be sentenced to this?

7. Dogs

Jeff is angry cuz I won’t

I can’t. why can’t he see that?

I do what he tells me, anyone

he fucking tells me

But please not that, not that

8.

I’ll never be a poet
Wanna write my
Early Morning Rain
It’s the song I hear
Every time I write

9. cutting

Partied with Jeffie and friends last night
We shoulda been out workin
The booze, it brings me down you know
Cried on some fuckers shoulder
Said he would take away my pain,
said he knew a way
So we found a razor blade

It lay there against my skin,
Silver and shining
He said, “just a little cut is all you need
to make you feel better.”
How would hurting myself help?
“baby boy, you are always hurting right?
this lets it out when it’s all too much.”

I held it, that razor blade, pressed it on my skin
Felt the sting, so sweet, watched the blood bubble
He looked into my eyes and I looked at his
we had a secret shared now
He kissed me then and pushed me back
licked the drying blood off my arm
then I knew, a thousand cuts would never be enough

10.

Sitting in the sunshine on a wall at Yonge and Wellesley
Watching the well dressed and wealthy walking
Fuckers pretend they can’t see us, like we aren’t here
We walk around to the alley, some business to be done

Prick doesn’t last long, one, two, three he cums
a twenty in my pocket, I watch him as he runs
To me they are only money, these dripping leaking cocks
but to them I’m nothing

11.

Today I want to write something good. I read poems and things and want that too. I got up early and came to the park. Want something to make me write something good. Why can't I write something good? Something people will want to read.