Street Words - 10. And all the rest

33 minutes ago, Okiegrad said:

One of these really brought back some hurt and anger for me.  It's good to feel the anger sometimes.  Reminds me, haunts me, challenges me.    

 

Thank you for sharing!

I posted these and was talking to a friend.. about #3 and he said.. that's a good poem. And i remembered sitting by that window, silent tears falling, before going to bed for the day... feeling so so hopeless..

hugs my friend. good to see you. hope you're okay

I remember all the jokes I've read and heard about people who work in the street... It's cruel, they have their lives too, who are we to judge... 

Thank you for sharing these. 

Starts off with a punch to the gut and they just keep coming... Some very tough emotions here, Tim. Thank you for sharing this part of you.

Thanks Parker.. i'm glad to get them here.. and done.  xoxox

I can't separate these, tim. I can't analyze them... I don't know why, but it seems wrong. These are snippets in time, about one thing... your pain. I wish I would have known you then, and could have taken some of it away... given you that hope... but I didn't and I can't. You should be proud of the life you've built. I'd say you should be proud of the person you've become, but that wouldn't be right. You've always been this tim... underneath the terrible times, you kept that part of you we all love... we all cherish... xoxo

These raw emotions are very real and I can see them through your words.  It's very brave of you to post them, your most vulnerable feeling.  I am glad you're a wonderful person today.  Hopefully those past events don't haunt you anymore. 

I could review/comment all of them, but I think that is hardly the point. It is more about life what's written here, than the words themselves. What moves me is the insight, the emotions, the person we see emerging from behind the poems. I could never know your life if you didn't share these words - the pain, the searching, succumbing, wishing, hoping, suffering - it's all there in so few words.

Number 2 - On my knees before you. This was insightful, I doubt you realised when you wrote it how much it reveals. Because you obviously were focused on yourself, you saw things from your point of view, and that is not difficult to see why that would be. But what you wrote describes more than yourself. 

In this little poem it seems to me that you describe two worlds colliding. Colliding, they don't meet, they smash into one another, they touch each other - physically, but they never actually merge. That is a sort of ice cold reality, it sends a shiver through your body to contemplate it. 

The guy being given a blow job is in a fantasy world where he can command the reactions he wants, looking in his face - the power, swallowing - the power. You don't exist for him, you are part of a fantasy he will never achieve - when it's finished he will not be satisfied. He will pay and move on, but you can't buy magic - he doesn't know that, maybe he never will. You sell a service to survive - his world is not yours. 

This poem in a few words illustrates such a contradiction - it describes a physical coming together that exists, but is empty, gives nothing, with one exception - a twenty to survive and a hint that something is terribly missing.

It's a great poem, they all are. What could be more real than the words you wrote at 17, 18. Those words of angst are not yours alone, I think they exist in all of us. The circumstances of our lives are different, sometimes very different, but the reflections are the same. So I could never know what exactly that felt like - only through your words do we get a tiny glimpse, but I can in some way feel those feelings, because in a different life, in a different way I had them too.

There is I feel a book in there somewhere waiting to be written, a story more powerful than you might know, but I can understand, also incredibly difficult. I suppose that even sharing these poems is hard, you are giving a little bit of your soul with each verse - that just shows how far you have come, to be able to do that.

5 hours ago, William King said:

 

There is I feel a book in there somewhere waiting to be written, a story more powerful than you might know, but I can understand, also incredibly difficult. I suppose that even sharing these poems is hard, you are giving a little bit of your soul with each verse - that just shows how far you have come, to be able to do that.

 

 

Thank you William. This made me cry. Because even now I can't be who I really am. What I really am. There is a story....but to write it I would have to share things I find it harder each day to hide. Thank you for what you wrote. This doesn't seem enough but I can't say more right now. Just know I appreciate your  words.

10 hours ago, Headstall said:

I can't separate these, tim. I can't analyze them... I don't know why, but it seems wrong. These are snippets in time, about one thing... your pain. I wish I would have known you then, and could have taken some of it away... given you that hope... but I didn't and I can't. You should be proud of the life you've built. I'd say you should be proud of the person you've become, but that wouldn't be right. You've always been this tim... underneath the terrible times, you kept that part of you we all love... we all cherish... xoxo

No Gary ..you're right i was alway who i am now, though i hid him away sometimes, i had to, to do some of the things i did. But he was allowed out to open the window in the morning, to walk in the park and hear Lightfoot singing Early Morning Rain in his head, after the rain, when it was still cool and water dripped from the leaves. Cry there too, leaning against a tree... but it wasn't all bad you know.. there were times... people that were good too. You'd have been one of those.. thanks Gary

Hi tim, I can not comment on single poems of this collection, I am with Gary. They are so personal, so emotional, so full of deep thoughts, ugly truthes BUT they are also so full of strength!!! Your light shines trough every word you wrote.

I am proud to name you brother and feel honored to be your sis and friend. xoxoxo

8 hours ago, Ashi said:

These raw emotions are very real and I can see them through your words.  It's very brave of you to post them, your most vulnerable feeling.  I am glad you're a wonderful person today.  Hopefully those past events don't haunt you anymore. 

Thanks Ashi, you're sweet. Sometimes they haunt me still but i think that's normal. Finishing this collection brought stuff back and you have scars too that remind you. But you and all the people i meet here and in my life, help me move farther away and the past because less important. Thanks for your comments.. xoxo

7 minutes ago, Lyssa said:

Hi tim, I can not comment on single poems of this collection, I am with Gary. They are so personal, so emotional, so full of deep thoughts, ugly truthes BUT they are also so full of strength!!! Your light shines trough every word you wrote.

I am proud to name you brother and feel honored to be your sis and friend. xoxoxo

No these shouldn't reviewed.. they are a snapshot of the past. Where i started to write but they were important to me because i discovered a release that didnt leave scars or hurt me. My love of writing started with these. I'm honoured to be your brother and friend too.. much love, Lyssa.  tim xo

1 minute ago, Mikiesboy said:

No these shouldn't reviewed.. they are a snapshot of the past. Where i started to write but they were important to me because i discovered a release that didnt leave scars or hurt me. My love of writing started with these. My honoured to be your brother and friend too.. much love, Lyssa.  tim xo

I am glad beyond words, that you found this release!!!

What Gary and Lyssa said ...

I believe in a version of karma that what we do and fail to do, as a community, a race or a species, will eventually come back to haunt everyone of us.  Especially for #10, if we choose to ignore the plight of those who're down on their luck, then we would pay a price, eventually; by condemning them to a life of pain and suffering, we too will suffer in some way ... we share in every triump and every failure that we, as humans, make ...

From Cloud Atlas

"Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future."

p.s. I am so going to hell, I reap what I sow, maybe not the depths of hell, but still ...

I'm generally not a fan of poetry, but reading through yours has been such an emotionally overwhelming experience.There is such a raw, visceral quality to your words that keeps me compelled to continue reading even though i want to turn away because it is almost too private, too intimate. I've just discovered your writing and have read through the majority of the autobiographical pieces - you have come through so much, and the strength and courage it takes to share this leaves me completely awestruck. I simply don't have words to express my thanks for sharing your stories, your thoughts, and your truth. Please accept healing energy and good karma as you continue on your journey.