Ben - 1. Ben

Sometimes, I don’t know why I bother.

Three weeks. That’s how long it’d been since my most recent move, just the latest of too many, and this one landed me in Fort Pierce, Florida: humidity capital of the world.

It would be easy to blame my dad. Easy, but not really right, exactly. It’s his job as a consultant that caused the last three moves, so it wasn’t his choice. Then, there’s the mess the moves make of my life: losing all my friends and having to keep starting over. The only problem there is, the mess they make of my life was pretty much my own doing last time. If I were honest about it, I’d admit that I was desperate to leave my most recent home: Oregon. Let’s just say that rural eastern Oregon isn’t an easy place to be gay and out.

So, I was starting over at a new school, again. This is where the ‘I don’t know why I bother’ comes in. It’s just two weeks until summer break, so the way I saw it, my chances of making any new friends to hang with over the summer were close to zero. I’m the new guy, again, and it takes me a while to get to know people. That left me with one obvious conclusion: summer is gonna suck.

According to Dad, I could count on spending my senior year here, and then it would be up to me where I went to college. That meant I’d need to make friends here or I’d have a miserable senior year too, and making new friends is something I’ve never found easy. At least, that’s what I was thinking, as I sat under the shade of a tree, eating my lunch, across the lawn from the school cafeteria....

Taking the last bite of my sandwich, I glanced up, seeing a familiar face heading my way: Lisa Whitaker. She’s in my first period English literature class, pretty and popular, and if there’s one thing high school is, it’s cliquish, so it still surprised me that she seemed to be making an effort to get to know me, as well as introduce me to people. I knew she had a boyfriend, and she talked about him a lot, so I wasn’t worried that she might want to date me. I looked up and smiled, glad to see her.

Lisa grinned as she sat down beside me. “Hi Ben. My friend Kristy, who’s in your math class, just broke up with her boyfriend, and I was wondering if you’d like to go out on a double date with her, me, and Joel?”

Lisa wasn’t one to waste words, a fact I’d learned the first day I’d met her. My mind raced, trying to think of a way to get out of the date. She’d taken me by surprise, and the best I could manage was to say uneasily, “I’m not really looking to start dating yet... I only just got here a few weeks ago, and, uh–”

Lisa’s face lit up in a knowing, almost predatory smile. “Kristy is pretty; most guys would jump at a chance with her, and as far as I know you’re single. I’ve also noticed that you don’t check out girls when they walk by. So... if my guess is right I know why, and I wanted to let you know that I’m totally supportive.”

I blinked, wishing I were anywhere but there. I was out to a few people back in Oregon, very few, until a month before I left. Then, all of a sudden, I was out to everyone, which is what made me really glad to leave. My coming out was not exactly planned. A guy from band told me he’d acquired the lock combination to the teacher’s lounge, and wanted me to go with him. I knew why, and I wanted to. The only problem was, neither of us knew that the football team was going to use it that period, but we found out, when they walked in and caught us going at it. After that, there wasn’t much point in denying I was gay, and by the end of the day, the whole damn school knew. The guy from band was a senior and they let him graduate a few weeks early, so he didn’t have to stay and face the fallout, but I did.

Being new is hard enough, and my plan was to wait until the fall semester and get to know people before coming out to anyone. On the other hand, I wanted to be around people I could be myself with, and hell, I wasn’t into celibacy. I looked at Lisa’s face, and she was still smiling, looking at me expectantly. ‘What the hell, she seems okay, and she sounds like she’s figured me out anyway,’ I thought. I glanced around, making sure that no one was within easy earshot, and trying to keep the jitters out of my voice, I replied quietly, “If you’re saying what I think you’re saying, uh–”

“My best friend is gay,” Lisa replied cheerfully, and I wondered if she’d have said that as loud if anyone had been close enough to hear. “So, I know it can be hard, and with you being new, I wanted to let you know you’ve got friends if you want them. That includes my boyfriend, Joel, too.”

I nodded, not knowing exactly what to say, but Lisa didn’t give me a chance to say anything.

“Got a boyfriend yet?” she asked, watching me intently.

“Uh, no, I only moved here a few–”

“Cool. I’ve got someone who’d like to meet you. He’s hot, fun, and single. He’s not out to very many people, so I’ll need to trust you to keep his secret. Can I?”

I swallowed, my palms beginning to sweat. This was going way too fast, and I wanted to let Lisa know I wasn’t ready for a blind date. “Uh, yeah, I’m the same way on that–”

Lisa nodded and grinned, interrupting me to say, “Good. You’ve got something in common already. Your last class is science, right? I’ll meet you there after the last bell rings and take you to meet him at the pool; he’s a swimmer so he does workouts every day. I did mention he’s hot, right? Okay, see you after school, Ben,” Lisa said, as she got up and walked away, leaving my jaw hanging open. It took me a few seconds to realize that I hadn’t agreed; she’d done it for me.

For the rest of the day, I barely heard a word my teachers said. I was too busy stewing over Lisa and the blind date. I was looking for a way out, kind of. Eventually, I decided to see what happened; I’d already figured out that it would probably be easier than trying to talk Lisa out of it, assuming she’d ever let me talk long enough to do it.

The last bell rang, and I picked up my books and headed for the door, hanging back so I wouldn’t be elbowed by everyone else as they raced out.

I stepped out into the bright sun, and there was Lisa, waiting, looking right at me, making me feel a lot like the amoeba I’d been studying under a microscope a few minutes before.

“Hi Ben, let’s go, the pool is this way,” Lisa said, as I fell into pace beside her. Before I could say a word, she asked, “Where are you from, anyway?”

“I was born in California, but I lived in Oregon until I moved here; a town called Baker City, near the Idaho boarder–”

“What do you know about boats?” Lisa asked, which sort of made my head spin.

Confused, not getting what boats had to do with eastern Oregon, I stammered, “Uh, I’ve been out on powerboats on the lake a few times.”

“What about yachts and catamarans?” Lisa asked.

I blinked again, trying to figure out why the sudden preoccupation with boats. “I don’t really... I’ve never been on a yacht, and I don’t know anything about catamarans–“

Lisa grinned. “You’ll learn.”

Splash

The sound of water and the smell of chlorine greeted me as Lisa led the way through the gate into the pool area, and I could see several swimmers standing around, plus a few more in the pool.

Lisa led the way to the bleachers and I sat down near her, trying not to pay too much obvious attention to the eye candy all around.

“Look,” Lisa said, jostling my arm and pointing. At the far end of the pool, a blond swimmer was hauling himself out of the water, with a smooth, powerful heave that showed off his back and ass really well.

“That’s him, his name is Trevor,” Lisa said, and then she yelled, “Trev, over here!”

The swimmer, Trevor, looked to his left, right at us, and waved. He turned and started walking towards us, dripping water, the sun glinting off his wet muscles. ‘Oh yeah, he’s hot,’ I thought, letting my eyes roam but trying not to be too obvious. I glanced around, seeing that most of the other swimmers were heading for the locker room, and then I looked back at Trevor as he came closer. He stopped in front of me, but he was looking at Lisa.

“Hi Lisa, what brings you here? You’re usually off school property twenty seconds after the last bell,” he asked, looking at her in a suspicious way.

‘She said he wanted to meet me, but he’s not acting like it. She’s setting both of us up,’ I thought, cringing a little inside.

Lisa snorted at Trevor. “I’m waiting for you, that’s what. I’ve been here since you started your workout.” She hadn’t been; we’d arrived about a minute ago, but I wasn’t about to jump in and share that fact.

Lisa kept on, “I swear Trevor, situational awareness is just not your thing. Anyhow, I wanted you to meet Ben; he moved here a couple of weeks ago and he’s in my English Lit class. I’ve been telling him all about your tub.”

Okay, something else that wasn’t true, and I knew that calling something a ‘tub’ was not a way to please its owner. I was starting to get the feeling that I’d been left to talk to an angry Trevor.

“Atlantis is not a tub, she’s a boat, Lisa,” Trevor said firmly, and then grinned. I relaxed a little; he didn’t seem angry. Maybe this would go okay after all.

Trevor glanced at me, a blank expression on his face. I wondered if he’d figured out what Lisa was doing yet, and how he’d react when he did.

“Ben, this is Trevor, Captain of the Atlantis and a guy who spends way too much time in the water. He’s a surfer, swimmer, and scuba diver. I think he’d be happier if he’d been born with gills,” Lisa said, and then elbowed me.

The awkward situation, plus the elbow jostling my side, rattled me. I fumbled with my books and stood up, opened my mouth, but no words came out; I had no clue what to say. Stalling for time, I put my books on the bleacher, and then I extended my hand, feeling like the king of misfits, and said, “Hi, I’m Ben.”

Trevor slipped his wet hand into mine, and clutched it with a firm grip.“I’m Trevor,” he said, giving me a slightly puzzled look. He let go of my hand and looked at Lisa, and with his tan, chiseled chest right in front of me, instinct took over. I looked, and then my eyes, without any input from me, looked lower, at the tight, wet black Speedo Trevor was wearing. I looked back up to see Trevor looking back at me. ‘Uh oh, busted,’ I thought, feeling my cheeks beginning to flush as I gave Trevor a nervous smile.

“Well?” Trevor asked, looking at Lisa.

“Well what?” Lisa replied with an innocent shrug, making me feel like the daily special at a seedy diner.

“What did you come here for, Lisa? You said something about Atlantis?” Trevor asked, looking right at me.

I looked at Lisa, wishing I could be somewhere more relaxing, like a dentist’s chair getting a root canal. Lisa smiled sweetly and told Trevor, “Oh, yeah... Ben said he wanted to see it because he’s never heard of a catamaran. I told him I was busy but you’re probably heading there after practice, like you usually do.”

Trevor looked at me, for a few seconds that seemed like forever. “Yeah, I can give you a tour but not for too long. I’ve got to get her ready for a charter that starts Friday,” Trevor said, and then turned away, walking towards the entrance to the locker room.

I watched him walk away, enjoying the view for a moment before I thought, ‘He’s a captain and does charters? Not exactly normal for high school...’ That thought led to another, a more obvious one, and I turned to look at Lisa. “He had no idea about any of this, did he?”

Lisa smiled and shrugged. “Nope, I figured it would be easier this way. He’s hot, isn’t he?”

“Uh, yeah he is, but–”

Lisa chuckled. “He’s steamed about me setting him up. Just give him a chance; he’ll warm up to you. Just tell him you didn’t know either and it’ll give you two something to talk about.” Lisa glanced at her watch, and then stood up. “I’ve got to go; Joel will be waiting for me. You wait here, and have fun with Trev.”

Lisa hurried off before I could answer, leaving me to sit there alone and stew. This whole set-up thing was making me nervous, and I was tempted to just get up and walk away. I didn’t, but I sure thought about it a few dozen times. If he hadn’t been so hot, I would have.

I sat there for a couple of minutes at the end of the bleachers, and then one of the two remaining swimmers climbed out of the pool. I can’t resist eye candy, so I had a good look, and nearly jumped a mile when a voice from close behind me said quietly, “Nice scenery, huh?”

I snapped my head around, and was sort of relieved to see that it was Trevor, and my mouth fell open as I tried to figure out what to say. “Yeah, uh, nice place,” I finally managed to mumble, which sounded just as lame to me as it probably did to him.

Trevor’s face lit up with a smile, which put me at ease. “I’m just joking around. Come on, let’s go see the Atlantis.”

I felt my cheeks burning again as I followed Trevor out of the pool area, again at a loss for words. As we walked across the main lawn, Trevor looked at me, still smiling, and asked, “Level with me; was this whole setup Lisa’s idea, or yours?”

Feeling like a total idiot, I said, “I guess it was pretty obvious, huh? Lisa kind of talked me into it at lunch today. She knows I’m new here and she has been introducing me to people. She tried to set me up on a date with a girl, so I came out to Lisa, then about thirty seconds later she told me about you and said she’d introduce us. Next thing I know, she grabs me after my last class and drags me to the pool.”

“Took her that long, did it? She’s getting slow,” Trevor said, chuckling.

I laughed at that; I hadn’t known Lisa long and didn’t know her well, but it fit. “I guess she’s done this to you before, huh?”

Trevor nodded, glancing around to make sure no one was within earshot. “Oh yeah, a few times. Usually at the pool, like she did with you, which is bugging me because I’m not out to very many people at school. Look, I’ll level with you; I’m not looking for a relationship of any kind right now. I don’t like sneaking around and I’m not out at home so that’s not a good mix. Anyways, between school, swimming, and running the Atlantis as a charter, I don’t have any free time. I’ve told Lisa this about a gazillion times, but she never listens. Sorry you got dragged in for nothing.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “Subtlety isn’t Lisa’s strong suit, I guess. I’d still like to see your catamaran, and to be honest I’m not in the boyfriend market either. My folks move a lot due to work so I really don’t want to get too attached to anyone.” That wasn’t exactly true, but it was close and I didn’t want to seem desperate.

Trevor looked at me, a big grin spreading across his face and mirth in his blue eyes. “Let me guess; either Lisa didn’t give you a chance to say that, or you did and she didn’t pay any attention.”

“I tried but she didn’t let me get a word in edgewise,” I replied, laughing and feeling a lot less awkward.

“That’s Lisa,” Trevor said.

I looked at Trevor for a moment, his blond hair golden in the sun. Screwing up my courage, starting to hope, I said, “I’m just looking for fun, not a boyfriend.” The moment I said it, I felt like an idiot. A desperate idiot.

“If you need friends you can be out to – that I can do, but that’s it. All I ask is don’t advertise that I’m into guys. I’m not out to many people, especially my father, and I need to keep it that way. Lisa talks before she thinks sometimes,” Trevor said, letting me down easy. I smiled and nodded, wondering what he was really thinking.

Trevor led me to what had to be the worst car on the parking lot; an old, grey, massively oxidized Honda Civic. It looked like it was older than both of us put together. “Where are you parked?” he asked.

“I don’t have a car yet; we moved here from Oregon and shipping my old one would have cost more than I paid for it, so I sold it. I’m looking for something cheap but reliable; I just haven’t found it yet.”

“Hop in,” Trevor said, unlocking the passenger door of his Civic and then trotting around to the driver’s side. I got in, settling into the torn seat, which had bits of stuffing sticking out of it. I think there were more holes than cloth. As Trevor slid into the driver’s seat, he said, “I can give you a ride after we see the Atlantis.”

“No need; I’m used to the bus. Besides, I think I saw some used car lots down towards the marina when I drove down there with my folks last weekend. I’ll walk to the car lot then take the bus from there or walk; it’s only about a mile,” I said. It was half true; I did want to look at cars, but I also didn’t want Trevor to be in a rush because he had to take me home. I was interested in him, and was hoping he’d change his mind on the ‘just friends’ thing.

With a whirr and a chatter, plus a backfire, Trevor’s engine wheezed to life. I heard a whine as he shifted into first gear, a sure sign of a worn out clutch plate. Trevor rolled down his window, telling me to do the same. He told me that air conditioning didn’t work, which came as no surprise to me at all.

On the way to the marina, we talked about school, the weather, anything. Fortunately, it was a short trip, and Trevor parked under some palm trees near a steel-grid gate, which led down to a dock. I watched Trevor’s eyes, following his gaze to a double-hulled boat. I knew that meant it was a catamaran, which was pretty much the extent of my knowledge of the things.

When we reached the stern, Trevor looked at the boat and said, “Here she is, follow me.”

For the next fifteen minutes, which seemed like only four times that long, Trevor showed me around his boat. It was a great one, that much was obvious, and so was the fact he loved it, but I’m just not into boats. So, I tried to look interested and ask a few questions. Trevor described everything in detail, most of which went right over my head.

Wondering if Trevor would take the opening, I said, “Cool, it’s like a seagoing apartment. Which room is yours, anyway?”

Trevor laughed, but his expression let me know it was at my terminology, not at the opening I’d given him. I don’t think he even picked up on that.

Trevor told me a lot more about his boat, and then about the area, which I really didn’t know much about, yet.

He got us some cokes, continuing to talk about his boat, and it was becoming pretty damn clear that was his favorite topic of conversation. We headed outside, onto the deck. Trevor seemed like a cool guy, but... I was starting to get the picture. His life was centered on his boat, which was also his job. Maybe if he’d been into cars we might have hit it off, but... I ran my eyes over him, wishing things were different, and then I said, “Thanks for the tour, man.”

I hopped onto the dock, and Trevor waved before going inside. I started walking, heading for the used car lots, and as I passed Trevor’s car I looked back at his boat. ‘Trevor is a hotty but he ain’t interested in anything that doesn't have sails. Too bad, but oh well,’ I thought.

All in all, I wasn’t sorry Lisa had set me up. Maybe Trevor would turn out to be a friend. Half of me was sorry we hadn’t had some fun, but the other half was glad; I knew it wouldn’t have worked out, and no matter what I told people, part of me did want a boyfriend. The other half of me though, was looking for a car, and my thoughts turned to that as the used car dealerships came into view.

I prowled around the lots for a while, trying to fend off salesmen. My price limit was three thousand, so most of the stuff was out of my range. What wasn’t was... polished turds; cars fixed up on the cheap for sale, and probably hiding all kinds of serious problems.

After a couple of hours of looking, I gave up and walked home, stopping at a mini-mart to grab an auto-trader, hoping I’d find a car that way.

* * *

A month later, two weeks into summer break, and I still hadn’t found a car. Everything I’d looked at was either a worn-out clunker, or ugly, or both. I picked up a new auto-trader, hoping my luck would change, and walked a few more blocks, to the McDonald’s where I was supposed to meet Lisa and her friends.

Lisa had turned out to be a good friend; including me when she and her friends met up a couple of times a week. I’d feared a summer alone, so I appreciated what she was doing for me, more than I could say.

I was a little early, so I sat down at an outside table and started paging through my latest auto-trader, twirling a pencil in my fingers, listening to my iPod. I circled a few promising new listings, trying not to get my hopes up. After tons of phone calls and test drives, I’d already checked out and rejected more than twenty cars and I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever find the right car for me.

“Hi, uh, I’m Drake.” I looked up to see a guy with sandy red hair looking at his foot, pawing the pavement with it, as he continued in a halting voice, “I heard you took notes in Mrs. Foley’s lit class. I’ll have that this fall, and, uh...”

He looked good, in that shy kind of way that made my heart beat faster. I realized that I was staring, and I stammered, “I was only in it for the last few weeks, and I didn’t take notes, sorry,” I said, kicking myself the moment the words left my traitorous mouth.

Drake, still intently studying his foot, turned partially way as he mumbled, “Sorry, I was just hoping that you could, kinda clue me in, I guess not...”

I swallowed once, and then again. ‘It’s the start of summer break, so no way is he here about class,’ I thought, beginning to suspect his real reason. “Wait... ask me again,” I said, surprising myself, my breath catching in my throat.

Drake glanced at me, first with a puzzled look, and then the faintest hint of a smile. “Can you help me with English lit?” he asked.

I nodded, motioning for Drake to sit down.

Drake hesitated, and then he sat down across the table from me, blushing furiously, in a way that sent squadrons of butterflies swirling in my stomach. “She said she wouldn’t stop bugging me until I did,” he said, in a voice barely above a whisper, a faint, uneasy smile battling for a place on his cute face.

I looked around, spotting Lisa across the street, looking our way. She turned her head fast, and in that moment, I understood: another set up. Grinning, I looked back at Drake. “Lisa sent you to talk to me, didn’t she?” I said, beginning to laugh.

Drake’s cheeks began to color, and he started to get up, “Yeah, uh, sorry–”

“Wait, it’s okay, I’m laughing at her, not you,” I said, motioning for him to sit down. He gave me a look, just a glance, the kind that let me know that he was even more nervous than I was. “You don’t really need notes, do you?” I asked, feeling my own cheeks begin to color.

“Uh, no,” he replied, looking around at the other people eating on the patio.

“That’s good, because I didn’t take any and Lisa knows it,” I said, and then added, “My name’s Ben.”

Drake turned his head, and met my eyes for the first time. “Yeah, Lisa told me,” he said. After a few moments of awkward silence, he glanced at my auto trader. “What are you looking for?” he asked, leaning back a little and brushing his hair back out of his eyes.

We talked for a while about cars, and then he said, “My cousin is going into the Army, and he’s selling his ‘88 Camaro. It runs good, but the paint job is total crap; he sanded it down and primed it, but never painted it. Looks like shit. The primer is already oxidized; it’d need sanding down to bare metal again, re-priming, and then painting.”

I nodded, interested, and not just in the car. “How much is he asking?”

Drake chewed on his lip for a few seconds before answering, “If he thinks you’re a friend of mine, around twenty-three hundred. If not, probably about two grand.”

Drake didn’t explain, so I asked, “Why more for a friend of yours?”

Drake began to fidget again, and he replied in a very soft voice, “He, uh, isn’t too cool about guys like me. You’d be better off if you say you saw his flyer at the supermarket.”

“Guys like us,” I said, giving Drake a smile, which he returned. “Okay. I’d want to give it a total inspection, especially the engine and tranny. I’ll need to get an estimate on a paint job; I’m good with engines, but I’ve never painted a car.”

Drake brushed his hair with his hand again, in a nervous way that I found intriguing, and then he replied, “I could help with that; I did my Bronco last year. I’ve got a sander and a buffer. I like working on cars.”

I got the message, loud and clear. Grinning, I said, “Cool. Me too, I’d like that.” Then I looked across the street and asked, “How long did Lisa say she’d wait before joining us?”

Drake’s cheeks flushed, and he began to smile and fidget. “Five minutes, unless I gave her the signal, which was brushing my hair back off my forehead, like this,” he said, and then brushed his hair back again, blushing even more. “She said she’d leave us alone if I did that. Joel is with her.”

I laughed, and then I looked into Drake eyes as I said, “I’m glad you did.”

Drake looked back at me, and for the first time, I saw the easy, lopsided smile that always lights up my heart.