Everything Changes - 5. Wish You Were Here

Everything Changes

Chapter 5 – Wish You Were Here

When Aaron and the boys got home, the house was eerily quiet.

The mood quite somber, pictures hung on the walls which reminded everybody how precious life was, and what was lost only yesterday.

Aaron broke the silence clearing his throat. “Guys this is rough on me too, but we have to do our best to help Alex now. Your Mom would get pissed if we didn’t fight for Alex and share our strength and love to get him back to us. Are you guys hungry, or would you guys rather wait til after we take a nap?”

Both boys shrugged their shoulders.

Brendan spoke up, “I think I would rather eat later, I am really not in the mood for eating right now.”

Cam reached out and rubbed Brendan’s shoulder.

Aaron sighed, “Okay guys I guess you go get some sleep. After you guys wake, you can grab showers, and then we will eat. Afterwards, we will head back over to be with Alex.”

Cam grabbed Brendan pulling him back down the hall mumbling, “Okay.”

Both boys stripped down to boxers and climbed in Brendan’s bed. But sleep was not coming easy.

After laying there for what seemed to be forever, Brendan said, “Cam lets go to Alex’s room at least there I will feel closer to him and without Mom here…. I ju…. I miss them both so much. I am so worried how Alex will handle losing Mom and Joey. How is this even possible? It is so fucked up.”

Cam sat there quietly, at a loss as he was still feeling the loss of his Dad, and yet he had the new losses to process.

“Cam give me a minute I just remembered a song I heard I wanna sing, sorta to Mom, Alex, and Joey…. It is from Fleetwood Mac.”

There's distance between us
And you're on my mind
As I lay here in the darkness
I can find no peace inside
I wish you were here holding me tight
If I had you near it would make it alright
I wish you were here
'Cause I feel like a child tonight

Rain on my window
I can count the drops
But I can't help feeling lonely
There's no way I can stop
I wish you were here holding me tight
If I had you near it would make it alright
I wish you were here
'Cause I feel like a child tonight

Each moment is a memory
Time is so unkind
Every hour, filled with an emptiness I can't hide
There's distance between us
And you're on my mind
As I lay here in the darkness
I can find no peace inside
I wish you were here holding me tight
If I had you near it would make it alright
I wish you were here
'Cause I feel like a child tonight

As Brendan finished singing, he noticed his Dad leaning on Alex’s door frame crying uncontrollably.

Both boys raced to hug Aaron, to share their feelings.

“Uncle Aaron, I love you all a lot. I don’t know where I would be today if it weren’t for all of you. I may be a kid, but I am not stupid. You’re hurting just as much as we are so quit trying to hide it from us.”

Brendan’s eyes were glistening, as he listened to Cam’s words of wisdom.

Aaron wiped his face and shook his head, “Cam are you sure you are only thirteen?”

Brendan smiled impishly at Cam.

Aaron hugged the boys and headed off to the master bedroom.

Once in his bedroom, he picked up a picture of Mary with the boys that he had taken on a family vacation to the beach a few years ago.

“Mary I hope you can hear me, I miss you a lot, and nobody could ever replace you in my life. I promise I will do my best for the boys. But if you have any pull up there can you ask the big guy for him to help Alex? I love you, honey….” Aaron sobbed.

Picking up the house phone he dialed the number for Guianta’s Funeral Home.

“Giuanta’s, this is Mike how may I help you?”

“Mike, this is Aaron Hawke my wife Mary was killed by a drunk driver in a car accident yesterday. I need to make funeral arrangements, but my oldest son is in the hospital from the same accident. Can you take care of things? I know they said she was in very poor shape from wounds she had.”

"Mister Hawke, I will personally go to pick your wife's remains up and let you know what I recommend. Can I get your phone number that I can reach you at?"

"Sure, my cell phone number is 7245551234. However, I am going to try to get a quick nap and then I will be going back to the hospital to be with my oldest son."

"Thank you, I will be in touch probably late this afternoon, or possibly early tomorrow morning once I have determined what to do."

"Thank you, Mike, I appreciate that." Aaron hung up the phone trembling.

Aaron's reserves were dwindling and having a difficult time controlling his emotions.

Laying on Mary's side of the bed, he placed his head on her pillow where he could still smell her perfume on the pillow from the last time she slept there.

Aaron sighed and slowly drifted off to sleep.

"Brendan are you ready to try and get a quick nap? We don't have a lot of time to do it."

"Ya... I guess, nothing can change what has happened. But what do you think if we take some stuff from home and make Alex's hospital room more like home? I mean maybe if we remind him what home is like, he will try and get better quicker to come home."

"Brendan, I think that’s an awesome idea. I love how you think about everybody else before you worry about yourself. I love you now and forever."

"Now and forever Cam, I mean that I don't think any of us can get through this without each other."

"I know Brendan, I know...."

The boys cuddled up to together on Alex's bed, glancing at all of the pictures and posters scattered on the walls of his room. Brendan plotting what was making its move when they returned to the hospital later in the day.

Cam placed his arm over Brendan gently rubbing his chest, as sleep slowly took over their world.

At 3 pm Aaron opened Alex's bedroom door and smiled at the sight of his boys curled up like a pretzel that had been twisted together gracefully.

"Boys time to get up and showered fifteen minutes, and supper will be on the table."

"Uh huh." Brendan moaned.

"Come on Brendan, laying here we are only gonna end up back asleep, plus after our showers, we need to figure what we are taking with us."

"What are you boys talking about?"

"Nothing Dad, we will be down." Brendan glared at Cam but then smiled devilishly.

"Huh? What's that look for?" Cam started backing away from the bed. "Oh no, you are not tickling me that’s unfair man."

Cam turned and bolted out of the room to the bathroom, and the door slammed and locked it.

Brendan smiled, knowing that he wasn't really mad. But he wasn't about to let Cam know that, he liked seeing him squirm.

Soon Cam emerged from the bathroom cautiously looking around, anticipating an attack.

Entering Alex's room, he told Brendan. "Get a move on bum, we got planning to do."

Brendan laughed. "Ok, you know I was only joking with you, Cam. I love waking up every day, knowing we are together."

Cam gave Brendan a quick peck on the lips. "Move it, mister."

"Yes SIR!" Brendan laughed heading in to shower.

After showering Brendan went back to Alex's room.

"Cam, I was thinking."

"Oh, there is a first – you can think."

"Keep it up smartass, and I will tickle you til you piss your pants. Anyway, what if we took Alex's Pittsburgh Penguins blanket and a couple of his trophies from hockey?"

"Sounds more like home already."

"That’s the plan. Hopefully, he will feel better quicker if we make it homier and let him know how much we love him all the time."

"Do you mind if I call Aunt Joh really quick? I just need to talk to her."

"OK, I will go keep your Dad busy."

Brendan picked up his phone and dialed his Aunt's phone number.

"Hi sweetie, are you doing ok? I spoke to you Dad earlier. I miss my sister, but I am worried about all of you."

"Umm, I can't say I am good, but I am trying to be strong Auntie. I wanted to ask you something. Okay?"

"Sure, sweetie what is it?

"Well, I thought if we took some of Alex's things and made his hospital room maybe it will make him get feeling more like himself and get better quicker. What do you think of it? I packed his hockey blanket, and some of his hockey trophies."

"Sweetie that sounds fine, just no sneaking any contraband in, if you get my drift. I love you guys, I am going to try and be there for the funeral. But work has been horrible with my new asshole boss, you call me though if you need me."

Brendan blushed at the comment about contraband and laughed. "Ok Auntie, I hope we see you soon. I love you. Bye."

"Bye, sweetie. Love you too."

Brendan grabbed Alex's duffle with his stuff in and rushed down to eat.

"So, what are we eating Dad?"

"I just made some cheese burgers and french fries."

"Sounds good. Dad, I love you, I may not tell you much, but I do."

"I know son, now you boys hurry up I want to get back to Alex."

The boys quickly got to the task, and each ate a couple burgers with fries and washed it down with a couple cans of Mountain Dew.

Brendan leaned over to Cam and whispered, "What you think of sneaking Alex a few cans of Mountain Dew?"

"Quit it, or you will get us kicked out and be told not to come back."

Brendan snickered. "I know, but it might make Alex wake up if he knew it was there."

"Your Dad might shoot us too stupid."

"Be nice, I am your stupid.”

"Uncle Aaron, can we get on the road before I have to beat up Brendan?"

"Everything okay Cam?"

"Yes, he is just trying to be funny. The Key word is trying." Cam chuckled.

Aaron rolled his eyes and lead the boys toward the door, to head to the hospital.

Brendan grabbles the duffle on the way out.

"What's in that Brendan?"

"Nothing Dad, I promise nothing bad."

"Just behave yourself, I am not planning on coming home anytime soon. You get in trouble, and you can find your own way home."

"Ya... Ya.... I know, don't be so uptight old man." Brendan wistfully laughed.

Aaron shrugged, and the voyage began back to Alex.

Once at the hospital they made their way to Alex's room. Aaron and Cam went straight in while Brendan stopped at the door.

He was struggling with a turmoil of doubts of if he was going to lose Alex, and if he did survive would he still be the same Alex. All of his jokings earlier didn't prepare him for this.

Brendan walked to Alex's bed, reaching for his hand. "Hey Alex, I miss you, man. It has been rough not talking to you. I know stupid, right? Well, me being the dumb little brother I can't stand not being near you and talking...."

"You ok Brendan?" Cam asked worriedly.

"I guess." Brendan sniffled.

"Brendan would you like something to drink? I can run down to the gift shop or cafeteria and get you a Mountain Dew."

"Dad, could you and Cam get me one? I have something I need to do for Alex. It's from me to him."

"Sure, you don't mind do you Cam?"

"Na, but you are sure you wanna be alone Brendan?"

"Ya, I need to do this for him and me."

"Alright, we will be back in a little while right Uncle Aaron?"

"Yes sir, we will be back soon son. If you need us, text us."

"Okay...."

Aaron and Cam left as they set out to get a drink for Brendan.

"Alex, you remember growing up, and you were always there for me when I doubted myself about everything, or when I would get hurt, and you were there to pick me up to get me home, and Mom would patch me up. Well, now it's my turn if you just come back to me. So, I thought I would sing something special from Edwin McCain to you man. It's called I'll Be."

I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed.
You're my survival, you're my living proof.
My love is alive and not dead.
Tell me that we belong together.
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I've fought my way back from the dead.
I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said

I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your...
I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

The greatest fan of your life.
...greatest fan of your life.

Brendan stopped singing and held Alex's hand. While he sobbed quietly, and he felt Alex squeeze his hand again.

"Alex, I know you can hear me where ever you are in there, come back to me soon. I will help you any way I can, whatever you need I am there for you bro. Oh, I forgot I brought you some stuff from home. Well actually Cam and I did, we got your hockey blanket and some of your hockey trophies. I promise you, Alex, I am not gonna let you go or give up on you. So, you better wake up so or.... or I swear I am gonna get really pissed off at you. You have no idea how hard this whole fucked up thing is for me. Can you please just wake up for me Alex? Please...."

The monitors started beeping faster, and the little lines on them were going faster.

Brendan was becoming more worried, but then Alex opened his eyes.

Alex looked around, not being able to talk because of the tube in his throat he panicked and started to reach for it, but Brendan stopped him.

"Alex, calm down buddy. Let me get you a nurse, and see what they can do alright?"

Alex squeezed Brendan's hand and held on tight. While Brendan used his other hand to hit the call button on Alex's bed.

"What in the world? When did he wake up?" Nurse Shelly asked.

"Well I sorta sang a song to him, and then I guess I sorta begged him to wake up. I guess he did it for me. When will he be able to talk?"

"I have to get Doctor Weinstien in here before we know anything more, Brendan. You both have to be patient, you especially Alex."

"Brendan where is your Dad?" Shelly asked.

"Oh shit, he went to get me a Mountain Dew. Oops sorry."

"It's ok, that’s between us. You wanna call your Dad or do you want me to?"

"If I can use my cell in here, I will, but I am not leaving Alex."

"Honey, you can't use cell phones in here they mess with all the machines."

"Well my Dad has his cell phone with him, do you have the number?"

"Yes, I do don't worry about it I will call him and get him back here."

"Okay, thanks, Shelly."

"Sure thing sweetie. Your Dad and the doctor will be here shortly, hang in there Alex."

Alex raised a few fingers to her as a response.

"Man, Alex you scared the shit out of me, I was so afraid that I lost you t...." Brendan made a weird scrunched up face fighting tears. "Well just never mind."

A short while later Aaron and Cam came back into the room, and both looked at Alex with tears in their eyes.

"Welcome back Alex, I missed you, bro," Cam said.

"Boy don't ever scare me like this ever again. I can't take much more after, well just after everything. Ok, son, just relax and Doctor Weinstien should be here shortly. Then hopefully we will start getting some answers."

Aaron rubbed Alex's arm, and a sigh escaped. He knew at least he hasn't lost his oldest son to the accident.

Just then Doctor Weinstien entered the room, "Alright everybody out I want to check over Alex, and see where things stand."

"Doctor no offense but I am not leaving him, he woke up for me because I was begging him to. I will not leave him alone not now, or ever."

Alex squeezed Brendan's hand even harder like his life depended on his brother.

"Well, I guess I can't argue with you on that and it looks like Alex wants you to stay. So, Aaron and Cam would you both mind stepping out for a bit?"

"No, it's fine we will step out in the hall until you are done Doc, right Cam?"

"Ya.... I guess, whatever." Cam said dejectedly.

"Thanks, guys."

Aaron and Cam stepped into the hall.

"Alex, I am going to listen to your heart and lungs first... Okay, they both sound very good. Now I want to see if you can tell me what foot I am touching, just raise your fingers of which foot I am touching if you feel it... That is a good sign, and how about now? Very good... I think things look very good so far, let me get your Dad and Cam back in here so I can talk to all of you."

"Aaron and Cam, you both can come back in."

Both returned in a hurry, waiting for whatever news laid ahead of them.

"Well first, I have to say I am really impressed with Alex considering his injuries. I ran him through a battery of tests which he passed easily. His heart and lungs sound perfectly normal, so I would like to remove the breathing tube as soon as possible because I don't want him becoming dependent on the machine to breathe for him. If you will all give me a few minutes, I will be right back to remove it."

"Thank you Doctor Weinstien, I can assure you that you made all of our lives a little better today."

A few minutes later Doctor Weinstien and Shelly, came in with a tray and some gloves and instruments.

"Okay Alex, I am going to get this breathing tube out. On the count of three I want you to exhale, but don't try and talk for a bit. Alright, you ready?"

Alex nodded.

"1.... 2.... 3...."

Alex coughed and grimmaced a bit.

"Here Alex, sip these ice chips slowly." Shelly soothingly said.

"Alex, you can try and speak a little, but your throat will be sore for a while." Doctor Weinstien stated.

"Thank you...." Alex croaked. "Where are Mom and Joey?"